/lit/ - Literature

>>18248433
You’re five post to early, you spamming faggot.

Youre all gay
got em

Meow meow nyaa meow meow nyaa nyaa

>>18248433
>>18248438
>>18248439
>>18248440
Meds

>>18248433
Oh my dog
oh long john
oh long johnson
oh don piano
oh my eyes ah
all the live long day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkwiQmGWK4c

>>18248433
how can I stop writing like a 15 year old and get good?

Favorite late 20th century American writers?

Do you guys talk about literature in here?

Test

>>18248472
>Favorite late 20th century American writers?
I dont read, just repeat stuff I hear on YouTube

>Do you guys talk about literature in here?
no, we just scream at each other

What does /lit/ think of her

All women are whores

>>18248511
this. i dont even know how to read

>>18248456
Based

>>18248624
2 arms, 2 ears, 2 legs, 1 torso, 1 head, 2 eyes, pupils in eyes which let's you tell where it's looking, 1 mouth, 2 nostrils, carbon-based, hair on the head, hair above the eyes, teeth for chewing food, jeweler attached to the ears, inside a housing box made by others and traded for in an economy

>>18248684
>torso
You mean breasts?

>>18248624
sad

>>18248433
adriana

>>18248624
bigga booba

it's a rainy saturday evening and I'm reading kierkegaard instead of hanging out with other students. I can hear them having fun and it makes me sad. But the rain is comforting. I hope you guys are doing better

Today I interacted irl with an american.

I drove, for the first time in many months, my parents to our property, which is far away from where we both live. Having arrived there we got to know that the front door neighbour's daughter came from the U.S recently. And so we met her.
A woman around her fifties, greying hair, lots of wrinkles, all around... well her looks could be worse.
And it's pretty funny - the steriotypes are real:
Divorced. One kid. Says she's independent. Says she gets her worth by slaving herself away by a megacorporation (not what she said, obviously). When my dog tried to hump her (I've never seen him do this before), she replied: "Oh, don't worry. This doesn't affect me!", which in of itself isn't too weird but she looked like she was enjoying it (º-º).
Her coversation with my parents grew, and my they said: "Oh, when I met her [my mom], her name was also [family name]", as in "her maiden name was the same as mine". The eggless burger quickly retorted "are you related by blood? I have nothing against that.". My parents, embaressed, said no, for it is a coincidence.
What I took away from the conversation is that it looks like liberalism corroded the minds of the americans, to the point of materialism, bestiality, incest and feminist stupidities, that look more and more like capitalist shills.

Queer people the americans are.

>>18248438
>mad because he could not post an animu pic

>>18248464
I really like this guy's lectures. At least the first series.

How is it that authors figure out what type of stories they want to tell?

>>18248806
Damn, I thought noone reads such poor ebooks.

hairline is being pulled back by father time

>>18248452
I saw a clip once where they trained a dog to communicate with its owners with a mechanical-button soundboard. It would go press the "walk" button. When the owners said no it would press the "why" button. I really wonder how far this can go, like with Coco who could communicate. I've heard it claimed that the only animal that ever asked a proper queston was a bird that asked what color it was. I wonder if house-animals feel trapped when they can't partake in speech

>>18248806
damn nigga you gay

What's your opinion on stories with multiple protagonists, particularly where the perspective keeps swapping between them?

>>18248913
90's movie cringe

i had a drink today. should i have another one?

>>18248913
I do that sometimes. I'll start a new chapter if I'm switching characters and let the reader know I'm switching to x character.
I don't do it too often and the storyline doesn't shift too much. It's usually when the main protag is out of commission for one reason or another.

>>18248964
Oi. I just posted that in the wg. You made me have an existential crisis for a minute.

>>18248913
Switching characters is just too good not to do. It's one of my most overused shitty character development tools.

>>18248624
A hole that is incapable of having children

>>18248913
can add a lot of insight and nuance to the book that would otherwise not exist or not be communicated in an equally brilliant way.

>>18248883
>I wonder if house-animals feel trapped when they can't partake in speech

well... do they?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfqsdFroblg

im pregnant

>>18249052
oh no no no

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1UtRnGn5hc

>>18248913
I love it as a reader, and kinda love it as a writer too but executing it feels so much harder than I thought it would be.

Specially during the first draft, jumping between the heads of different people with different goals and different ways to see the world is overwhelming but it makes the whole experience so much better when you managed it. I swap inside a chapter with an empty line and a fresh paragraph. Sometimes multiple times.

I had to cut two POV characters because I couldn't come up with compelling arcs for them and their scenes were just fun exposition … but in another book I'd love to jump into the heads of "one-scene characters", just need some reason to justify it and the right story.

>>18248913
The bigger the cast, the bigger the story must be to give every character a sufficient amount of page time to develop their characters and show off all their nuances.

I'm currently writing a story of considerable size, which I plan to tell across numerous books; I'm still not sure how long, exactly, it will wind up being. My cast of characters right now numbers about 21, and it can only be that big because I know my story is of such size that I'll be able to give every one of them their due. And even among this big number of characters, I have four characters among them who are my "main main" characters, who I would truly consider the story's core protagonists.

If I were telling a shorter story I'd make the cast considerably smaller. You can't tell a small story with lots of characters and expect to treat them all with the attention that they truly deserve. Think of how huge Anna Karenina is. It NEEDS to be that big, because of the great size of the cast Tolstoy is working with.

Pretty embarrassing that I work on staff at a rural state uni, not even faculty somewhere important. How did I end up here?

>>18249137
Anna Karenina is so fucking huge because Leo has to shill for this ideas with a self-insert character.

How old are you?

How disappointing or lame has your life been thus far?

Do you think you’ll ever get anywhere?

>>18249168
34
I've had a lot of heart breaks and struggles but I've always been able to write and chug along.
I feel like I'm making it. The only big milestone I haven't done yet is getting married and having kids.
I do need to travel to Japan at some point. I lived there as a kid and want to see it as an adult.

>>18249052
congratulations anon!

>>18249168
30
objectively a lot of time has been spilled to disappointment, but I am not disheartened. Subjectively life is pretty good.

I don't think there's anywhere to go.

>>18248684
Based eidetic reducer.

will you take...

>>18249168
21. very disappointing so far. everything is pointing towards eternal solitude for me. I don't wanna be the "born in the wrong generation" type of guy but I really do feel like the current zeitgeist is a core root for my misery. I definitely feel like I'd be much happier in a time and place where cyberspace wasn't so omnipresent.
picrel is me 24/7, not even exaggerating.

>>18249343
ok maybe I am exaggerating a tiny bit because just recently I've been going to a park 5 minutes away from me to read a little bit. But other than that I really just spend my time in bed or in front of the laptop, like right now.

I really don't deserve to be so isolated. I'm not ugly nor below average in looks, I'm not a political nutcase, I'm not a degenerate, I'm not an addict to anything, I haven't broken the law, I'm not in debt, I don't have speech impediments and I can express myself fluently. I've just had shit luck with health and people betraying me too many times in a row so I got depressed.
I think I would be happy if I had a person at my side who is as attractive as I am and whose ability to feel love hasn't been dicked out of her completely. Just not fat or horrid and not promiscuous. How hard can it be? I don't even care if she's intelligent or funny as long as she tolerates my lifestyle and hobbies. How can this be so hard? Why is it so stupidly difficult to achieve this simple thing in this hyper connected era? Why is it so difficult to talk to people and get anything but small talk out of them? We're so free but nobody speaks about anything, everyone's just using these packaged answers to everything. Is this really the price we pay for order and safety? Everyone's closed up like a clam and I have to follow suit or I'll look crazy? Why is it so difficult to do anything stimulating with people? At least I could have friends, no? Is it really possible that everywhere but megacities are desolate wastelands full of redneck tier simpletons? Can you al least have hobbies other than sportsball and posting on Facebook? Do you have any ambitions or life goals other than making as much money as possible and buying things with the money? It can't be this difficult. Unless I am schizophrenic and I am actually monstrous looking or I talk like a mentally deranged psychopath it cannot be this difficult to find another soul, online or offline, someone with the nuts to actually speak his fucking mind in person, not on fucking 4chan where you can pretend anything and say edgy shit for fun.
It cannot be this hard to find people who actually do what they claim, if they dislike certain things maybe they don't do them. Why is it so hard to find people who are not hypocrites?
And it's so easy for me to like objectively unlikeable people on the simple basis that they walk their talk. I actually know what I want but it's just not there.

>>18248433
I'm so lonely and I wasted 300 dollars on hookers last night. Might go to an asian rub and tug today too

>>18249168
22
extremely disappointing
I'll inherit some money from my Dad so I'll survive even with my degenerate lifestyle, but living off of dad's earnings is pretty pathetic

>>18249410

>>18249424
I don't like slavery but the American rebellious spirit died with the Confederacy

"Having a consistent sleep schedule will make you sleep better" is quite possibly the biggest lie I have ever been told in my entire life, I have spent a month going to bed and waking up at the same hour and my sleep quality has not improved at all, my life is miserable because of sleep deprivation, I am so fucking tired, I wish I had the guts to kill myself.

>>18249168
18, turning 19 in a month. Life has been pretty tough so far, but I guess one of the advantages to being young is that I have the future to forward to. Being a social recluse doesn’t bother me, but I know the feeling will eventually creep up. I have some ambitious dreams, I’m not sure how that’s going to play out. Sometimes I oscillate between feeling like it’s too late to achieve anything worthwhile to feeling like I can take on any ambition I desire. Hopefully ,when I get older I can make a steady income and have some hobbies to the side. Browsing the internet every waking day of my life is probably an indicator that it’s too late...

>>18248624
I like her face and her smile a lot and she has a wonderful, long neck. It almost counterbalances my dislike for the fact she's a an internet personality.

>>18249353
You go to school or anything?

this beautiful woman is on my mind, I wish I could have a wife like her
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52kwqBMxQYQ

>>18249457
Lolita

>>18249418
>living off of dad's earnings is pretty pathetic
Why?

I saw a guy on a bus reading Heroes and Hero Worship with a weird weeb bookmark. He looked a bit like a downgraded Bruce Willis. I hope he's doing okay.

>>18249465
Because he wanted me to be successful, not leech off of what he made

>>18249442
You know what will actually make you sleep better? Not working a computer-based office job.

>>18249418
learn to invest, seriously. you can get a job and if you hate your dad's money so much (which doesn't make sense - Alexander the Great inherited a fucking army and you fags love him), you can always gamble it on business and pretend it was legitimately earned through research and effort.

or just be a self hating retard

>>18249353
uni, 1st year. philosophy major. It's been all digital so far though.

>>18249529
meant to reply to >>18249456

>>18249529
Yeah. That sucks it’s online. Obviously, you’d get out more if it was in-person.

>>18249475
Then why did he make it?

Last night a girl picked me up off the street, took me home and banged me. Feels weird like my life is becoming an anime, first time I didn't have to pay for sex.

the thing is that if I speak against gay rights, and a gay person says I am invalidating who they are, then I will tell them that their sexuality simply is not who they are. If they then reply that it is, then I will have to maintain that they are wrong about who and what they are, that they have some form of false consciousness. I will have to paternalistically tell them that I know better about them. The thing is that I really believe that I do, but this is very not with the times.

>>18248433
Dicks mostly

>>18249645
wtf I want anime life

>>18249645
How does such a thing happen?

>>18249395
You sound like a judgmental person tbdesu.

>>18249709
He's on the search for a boyfriend-free girl

>>18249645
how did this happen

>>18249709
On the promiscuous part, I am judgmental. I don't like promiscuous women and I've got personal experience as well as fact on my side. But I might be missing out on potentially great people because of this discrimination.
Everything else is a factual consideration based on what people told me. I don't think less of people who are simpletons (unless you think I'm hateful for calling them simpletons in a 4chan post) but I'm not happy about talking sportsball for the rest of my life. I'd like people who have a little bit of imagination or something. I go by what people have stated. "I want money so I can buy another house" is not a personality. I'm not going to pressure people into revealing their secret life goals to me but if they don't seem to have any I can assume they have none besides hoarding money under the guise of "providing for the family". I can read people well enough to tell when they're just going with the program because they use the exact same words that everyone else uses about a subject. I am factually right when I call someone a hypocrite when he criticized consumer culture but is hooked to social media all day.

>>18249645
Same but I said no

Yesterday I spent most of my day studying. Studied in one day the contents of one month, I understood almost everything, and even if I felt tired af, it was incredibly satisfying. I hadn't felt that in years.
Now I must keep studying. I'm a bit nervous, but I know that I can make it.

>>18248433
There's no women left to love

>>18249789

>>18248624
>Pro-life
>Gets a miscarriage
hypocrite much?

I hate vegetables
The only vegetables i eat is broccoli and i hate broccoli as well. I only eat it for the vitamins and fiber

>>18249806
same but frozen minestrone mix

>>18249806
how is it possible? maybe you're cooking them like shit?

>>18249806
I hate them too

>a cute new resident on the ward
>chat her up a bit, talk about literature and shit
>she asks me to coffee
>go and hook up
>date her for seven months
>she breaks up with me because i'm "lazy piece of shit who needs to grow up"
>a cute new resident on the ward

I am having degenerate thoughts about Abby Shapiro

>>18249168
25
quite disappointing. i'm materially succesful, but not the most successful among my acquaintances and it bothers me a lot. i've tried to become creative, sophisticated, athletic, but never succeeded (failures of willpower). i'm lonely. my job doesn't particularly interest me, but I'm too risk averse to try anything else.
i have vague ambitions, but suspect they'll go largely nowhere because of my consistent mediocrity. i constantly feel like I'm meant for me, and then feel shame because that's such a cliche. i'm scared that i'm just going to be an npc in other people's lives.

>>18249705
>>18249753
cba to greentext and idc if it sounds wordy or fake, I didn't try to make it sound like some gay MPDG fantasy it just came out that way. I'd had one too many beers, fell asleep on the couch, wake up and see the corner store closes in 15. I needed to buy snus or I wasn't going to make it through the night so I rush down, still kinda tipsy. Behind me in line is a giggly, somewhat inebriated girl with strawberry blonde hair, 7/10 face, 8/10 body. My memory is kinda fuzzy and I cba to write out all the details, but she almost mixes her stuff with mine, giggles, sorry she says, then reads out loud my total for the store to hear. Normally I'd be on my way home at this point, but these days they have a system where you let the machine read your recept and the door opens, so as I stop to fumble for it she says can use hers and opens the door for me. Outside there's a short silence, then she says she's sorry if she's weird and asks if I want to come back to her place and drink wine. So we go to her dorm room, very tiny and cozy, drink and talk for a few hours. This bitch had a lot to say, idk if she was having some existential crisis, she talked about the trauma she carried with her, her thoughts about the world, her dead father, she showed me some of her paintings as she was an art student, then she spontaneously gave herself bangs and forced me to take selfies with her. When the wine was gone I said I should go back to my place and that she's free to join because I have alcohol there. This girl lived a stone's throw away, you can almost see it from the balcony. We drink some, I let her smoke cigarettes in the living room, we play loud music and that's fine because my bitch neighbour has woken me up with her shit too in the past. She brought art supplies with her and shows me how to paint with ink, we do that for a while, she signs her new painting and I promise to frame it. Then it's time for bed, I tell her she can use the bed and I'll sleep on the couch, but as she's taking off her bra she says she won't accept that and insists I spoon her till she falls asleep, I give up and comply. She starts rubbing her ass on my dick and we take it from there. Wake up the next morning, cuddle for like an hour, order pizza, sit and talk about art and literature, she borrows notes from underground from me. She said she has an obsession with dostoevsky, but stops reading his books 30 pages in because it feels like she wrote it herself and it's too scary, last night she sat there and flipped to random pages and read out loud from the idiot/crime and punishment. Then she says she's tired and asks me to spoon with her, which I do for a few hours before I wake her up because it's getting late and she needs to get home. That was a few hours ago, I like her but I think she may have BPD/schizo.

Now I’m realizing how much of a mistake the decision to move back in with my parents and quit my job was.

>>18249941
You’re fucking killing it compared to me, kid.

I just understand everything.

city life is driving me insane. i haven't experienced a moment of quiet in years. every waking moment is accompanied by industrial noise, chatter and booming bass sounds from various directions.

>>18250034
welcome to my world

>>18249988
Nothing is permanent, anon

>>18249806
at least you eat broccoli anon.

curious, how do you eat your vegetables? I didn't like and still don't like the way my parents cook vegetables, steaming them. I've found roasting vegetables in the oven is infinitely better taste wise, id reccomend it if you dont already.

broccoli is super easy, like 12 minutes at 425F with some olive oil drizzled and just some salt and pepper

>>18249806
if I don't eat anything green for a few days then broccoli and many other vegetables start to taste actually delicious. It is your body telling you that you need those particular vitamins. The difference is quite dramatic, if I have had plenty of vegetables for a while then they stop tasting good to me. Milk and meat never stop tasting good though, provided I have worked out that day. I could easily just eat milk and steak forever, absolutely based cows providing us with top tier nutrition.

>>18249806
This is going to sound retarded but it legitimately works for me. If I'm eating something I don't really like, let's say broccoli, I imagine that I'm a hunter gatherer and that this is only food I have access to. For some reason it flicks a switch in my brain and it makes it a bit better.

>>18250170
It's a shame cattle farming is so bad for the planet

>>18250171
I do the same except I larp that it's the depression and I'm living off scraps.

>>18250174
I don't believe that stuff tbqh, the sorts of people who say those things are the most dishonest and malicious freaks. As if some cows in a field is somehow evil, how ridiculous.

>>18250192
It's not evil, it's methane.

>>18250194
I just don't think there being many cows in fields is a cause for concern and I think people who pretend it is are not acting in my best interest and I am therefore somewhat justified in engaging them in combat.

>>18248806
I hope this image is ironic and you’re not this autistic and pathetic.

don't listen to this guy >>18250263

>>18248806
it's ok man, read until you have enough

I feel like I’ve been watching two people in my online friend group’s relationship deteriorate and it makes me think about how sad it is that some people’s friendships end in a nasty falling out rather than just a gradual drifting apart.

>>18250186
Haha yes my other 'fantasy' is that I'm my grandparents growing up dirt poor in the 40s. It makes me feel a little less entitled.

>>18250192
>>18250199

It's a combination of the methane but also the land clearing necessary to have cows. Cattle farming is of course only one factor amongst many, however.

>>18248809
>left over DNA
I mean your right here, but also keep your euro trash opinions to your self.

>>18249806
try bell peppers?

my favorite childhood book

>>18249168
29. Up and down my whole life. My peak was 22. The last five years have been very dark for me. Almost to the point of suicide. Every single day has been a struggle.
But finally, I see a small amount of light. If I grind hard enough and keep picking myself up maybe I can be at peace with myself.
That’s all I want at this point: Peace.

>>18249980
Comfy story anon.

I can't stop feeling pressured to create as a means of proving myself. I thought I was past this but I wasn't. I just lowered my expectations to rational levels

>>18248433

>>18248433

test

Guy in picrel is actually right. I hate the image's message that social judgment of others is meant to intimidate me. It predicts todays trend of people posting Neutral Blank Face emojis on opinions or jokes that they find cringe in order to intimidate the other person. So disgusting and gay. Stop projecting your insecurities onto me, you socially-phobic, sickening faggots

>>18248818
The one about postmodernism is great also. 'The self under siege'

>>18250529
>cracks knuckles

i hate hanging out with my family idk why i volunteer to visit them on the weekends, it's cool out first but i always leave with a sense of cringe and resentment

>>18248433
I have this eternal argument with my psychiatrist Dad about depression. He has it bad. His depression makes me sad. I tell him it makes me so sad I can't stop being sad so it makes me depressed. He autistically verbatim repeats some DSM V textbook answer to me about how I'm wrong instead of feeling with his heart and seeing I'm trying to express emotion.
I wish my Dad was a plumber or electrician so I could talk about pipes or cables instead.

>>18250720
>I wish my Dad was a plumber or electrician so I could talk about pipes or cables instead.

The middle class should not have children. I can't think of anything worse than a middle class father.

>>18250746
>ejaculates in Lower class grunts

I love my girlfriend, I adore her and I find her charming and beautiful. However, I can not stop fantazising about other women and still find myself flirting with them. We bought an appartment together and work well together, share the same humour and spend so much quality time together.
I feel very conflicted about this and it brings me great shame, it makes me feel like I'm not good enough.

God I love the east village, such a wonderful neighborhood. Too bad I can't afford it anymore.

I can only go 2 or 3 days without jerking off. Not even because I'm constantly horny, I just crave affection/romance. I constantly fantasize about kissing/touching/holding a beautiful woman, feeling her smooth, warm skin and soft, warm body, worshipping her like a goddess. Jerking off is pretty much the only way I can achieve this. Although, I never watch porn as I'm terrified of sexual acts and breasts/vaginas. I mostly masturbate to cheerleaders.

Already, I’m dreading the idea of having to work again on Monday. I don’t want to do this anymore.

>>18250804
>ejaculates in Lower class grunts 2.0

I'm convinced you HAVE to put some scheduled time and energy and Philosophical weight to the purpose of persuing pleasure in life. You can't just wage slave and work to improve yourself. You must enjoy yourself. You can't go on without that joy.
It's tough times.

I've managed to split myself a little bit ha ha. It's kind of an overlap. My body is on one side and the natural intelligence that comes from my body, you know the kind of thing trees or animals have just more developed because it's a person obviously. I let my body handle stuff like typing or walking or brushing my teeth so I don't have to think about it but the downside is that sometimes I let it act on its own too much and it does things without letting me remember them afterwards. Sometimes I just turn off control and watch my body move on its own without any input because I want to detach from my life a little bit. Now things taste kind of dull and swallowing feels weird and it's hard to respond to my own name. On the other side is the internal intelligence that has free will of its own, I think that corresponds better to 'me' than the body intelligence. I mean they're both 'me' since a soul is the point where the body and the mind/spirit meet and splitting them apart isn't really correct but this is the way I perceive it now. The second intelligence doesn't really enjoy anything and feels little and thinks not very much either. It just observes what the first one does and sometimes overrides its actions but not enough I feel. Underneath both of these is what I call the generating consciousness or nameless intelligence, since it exists before both of them and integrates the senses, thoughts, emotions, and identity into one entity even if it's not doing a very good job of it right now. It's funny that I talk about it in third person even though 'it' is more 'me' than the 'me' that responds to a name or thinks of itself in terms of 'I' is 'me.' I swear I'm not a schizo. This makes perfect sense. I'm totally real but there are things more real than me. If there are characters in my dreams, then I'm a character in the dream of something more real than me. I've been able to directly change parts of my behavior by circumventing my inhibitions by thinking of my actions as carried out by someone else because they kind of are, which lets me be a lot less shy or nervous in social situations than 'I' really am, but now I'm in a weird state where the 'me' that I've been commanding to do various things doesn't correspond exactly to the internal 'me' anymore (but they're the same person and not divisible or reducible at the end of the day). I think if I push too hard on this I might lose consciousness completely and find that the body has taken on all functions and maybe wake up months or years later. That should be a scary thought but I don't really care. I don't care. I don't want to care. I want to stop caring. It's easier to go through life totally numb so I don't get hurt as much. What the heck, I end up hurting myself anyway so what's the use? An ideal scenario would be where a time traveler shoots me in the head at birth or I totally disappear from existence at this instant and retroactively vanish as well. At least then I wouldn't burden anyone.

I never quite get the enjoyment of talking to people who enjoy their jobs. There is a certain name for this "effect", where a great many people assume that their job has to be something to resent. My strong believe here, something I know in fact, is that there is over-representation of bad experiences on the internet and in gossip in general. It's a simple effect to understand: given a certain thing (in this case, a job), there is overwhelming likelihood that those who would have something to say about it... would have something negative to say!

I am getting around this in a bad way. I called it "the yelp effect" before. Like, when you look up a review from a restaurant and see so many bad reviews... You shouldn't assume the overall rating as an actual expectation of the restaurant. The yelp effect simply means that people who have had a bad experience are way more likely to report about it. People who have nice experiences at a restaurant, or with having a certain job, are simply enjoying their lives.

My point is that there are a great many people who actually enjoy their jobs.

>>18250837
Isn't this what everyone believes? That life about more than work?

>>18250875
Lovely writeup. The lack of paragraphs adds a personal touch.

>>18250914
paragraphs are for fags

>>18250949
why? i know "reddit spacing" looks retarded but when you write something that long what's the drawback of paragraphs?

What do normal people retain when reading or after taking a class? I think I might genuinely be disabled in some shape or form, after I take a course, if I'm asked to recall the material a few months later, it's almost as if I had never taken it, regardless of how well I did (I do well for the most part in all of them). I recently started trying to read philosophy and could not repeat to you the key arguments or reasonings after finishing the book, even if while reading it I felt as though I understood.

>>18250965
I'm not going to break up what I'm writing in my head so why would I make the effort to do so on paper?

>>18251003
think thats normal, I had to learn abstract algebra for school and nowadays I couldnt solve any of those problems if asked. I think you retain the stuff that truly interests you, not the stuff you just learn to pass a test

>>18251008
The purpose of paragraphs is to address an idea, or a constellation of related ideas. When you move on to a new idea you start a new paragraph. I usually visualize this in diagram form in my head but it can be translated to paragraph form fairly easily, you just have to recreate the diagram yourself when you read.

do you ever think about the opinions of the average person and just be like, damn

>>18251003
Well I can be candid if you like. Maybe you're not as smart as you imagined? Do you find that DURING class or reading you are not following along that well? What is it? Are you distracted? Is it that you WANT to be interested, or in fact DO find it interesting, but something is simply wrong with your attention?

My brother has a learning disability. I believe he has ADHD, whatever that means, something like that. He has a great interest in many things, but they are fleeting. He is undisciplined, I would say. I would also say that it's a zoomer thing--he is much more trained to momentary enjoyment. So he is much interested in anthropology for example, but as it happens, he spends 90% of his free time playing computer games.

Personally, I am far more disciplined. My maxim is that with every class I take (I am constantly enrolled in some class or another, and have been over the past 5 years), that I take it as seriously as possible. And it works, and I find it rewarding. It gives me something TO THINK ABOUT. I also add that this is greatly reinforced by having peers with the same interests, and speaking to my professors.

Perhaps that is one habit you can make use of, to make your learning SOCIAL. One leap I happened to make by chance, was being particularly hopped up on coffee, and realizing that office hours were open for one of my classes, and taking a moment to log into the zoom chat. I simply chatted with my professor for over an hour about science. I basically took the conversation where I wanted, which delighted her, and I asked her some opinions about science in general, its history, etc. This peership I invented with her helped me stay focused with my class. Its a feeling of being indebted to someone.

Perhaps, then, your problem is one of not NEEDING to learn what you are learning. Are you in college? Do you have a major? WHY do you have that major? Is there ANYTHING you care about?

>>18251117
More and more I am satisfied with never thinking of the average person. I think the pandemic has helped with that, like cauterizing any existing care for the mob's thoughts. I find it useful and consoling to be as busy as possible with my own life and my friends. I think caring about the mob is a symptom of the overconsumption of media and a general malaise, looking out the window impassively at neighbors.

My general rule regarding mental hygiene is to "never speak with the devil". I try to spot out who is aiming downward, and to avoid them. Nevertheless I find myself developing a certain friendship with a coworker of mine. Stranger than fiction is the fact the he bears an actual Satanist tattoo on his wrist. He has alluded to us going out for a drink. He knows I am a Christian, and I know he avowedly has a distaste for Christians. This is something about which I have been able to be candid with him. Still, fun as it might be to have a drink with him (he's quite smart), I sense that he would get a certain enjoyment out of cajoling me into perverse conversation. He likes to talk about serial killers, and has more than once inquired my taste in porn. I have no conclusions about this man.

After more or less fifteen years of living with it I'm done with sexuality. If I had the inner strength to embrace celibacy I would do so. It's not exciting any more, it's like watching the same movie over and over or being told a joke whose punchline (cumming) you already know. And I deeply resent how irrational it makes me, as its its sticky and fleshy hold takes over. Under its influence you are about as impaired as you would be drunk, and similarly, like a hangover the post-ejaculatory moment of restored senses is full of shame and regret. I want to think! I want to appreciate beauty and higher things. I sent being told by my body that I must stop being sentient and pursue idiot lusts.

Had I the option to eliminate sexuality from my being, I would consider it but hesitate. If only because I worry not having it would change something about me, interrupt my motivational function, because in the deep recesses of biology sex is at the core.

One wonders what the true desire to achieve orgasm really is. It is not that it is exceedingly pleasurable, this is the simple but deceptive answer. What is beyond that pleasure, what makes it so gratifying, is that it offers a blissful moment of temporary self-forgetting. The entire world vanishes in the flash of it, past, present and future, as if a supernova goes off in the center of the mind and obliterates it. Nothing matters, and that is the bliss of it. But the tragedy of it is that it never succeeds. Like a mirage it fades, and reality, stuff that matters, returns. It is a false transcendence because true transcendence changes you, replaces what was utterly. Instead, orgasm does the opposite, its climax is usually followed by the complete opposite reaction to it, revulsion toward the sex act, and the demystification of glamorized body parts as irresistible sex objects and the return to them as sweaty, salty, often disgusting anatomic appendages.

Rest assured the next time the urge returns, I will change my tune, and forget all my pretenses of resistance and submissively obey sex's call, forever dragged along as its puppet.

>>18251187
>I sent being
I *resent being

>>18251187
If you feel shame after having sex, there's something deeply wrong with you, or the way you're having sex, or with whom you're having sex. Not the sex.

gonna be a real hot summer

>>18251003
Repetition helps memory. It's the same thing for any skill or information: you use it, or you lose it. People forget parts of their native language if they live abroad for too long, and can take a few months to recover the language fluency they had through use.
In places where rote memorization is a major part of education, they encourage habits that make retaining information easier, and the chief among those is repetition. Read every book twice. Read your notes for a class that night, and repeat important facts to yourself out loud. Do the same thing in a week, in a month, and after three months. If you find yourself being bored at any time, repeat material to yourself from your notes. (If you're doing this with languages, usually this time is to repeat irregular verb and grammar formations to yourself)

Prayer of Abandonment

Father,
I abandon myself into your hands;
do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.

Let only your will be done in me,
and in all your creatures –
I wish no more than this, O Lord.

Into your hands I commend my soul:
I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,
for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for you are my Father.

- Bl. Charles de Foucauld

Am pussy boi now, me no pussy boi later

I tried for a few years to make a habit of writing every day, but it quickly burned me out and I was struggling to achieve a meager writing goal of 500 words a day, even when I was taking off half the week for social obligations. eventually I crashed and couldn't keep going

I don't want to be someone like GRRM or Patrick Rotfuss who gets famous for never finishing things, but I'm not able to function reliably and it's making me miserable

>>18248433
Honestly nothing. I played tennis then went surfing today I’m really tired but in a good way. My mind is empty and pure .

>>18249806
Vegetables taste great. Most of them have a taste profile that chemically signals to a healthy human tongue that it's going to stop them getting cancer.

I want to restart history and I don't care what it takes. I want to break the postwar order beyond repair. I want to shatter American hegemony. I want to fundamentally alter the order of things in the United States, and in the Western world, and in the world as a whole. I want to bring about the death of current nations and the birth of new ones. I want to prove that faggot Francis Fukuyama wrong. I want to do this and I don't care how many people have to die as a result. History progresses through bloodshed.

>>18248847
They write the stories they'd like to read

>>18248684
based

>>18249418
>>18249343
>>18249444
If I was your age I'd be king of the world you lucky bastards

>>18251933
I want to do all this except break American hegemony. American hegemony remains except as an openly authoritarian empire or something of the like, with a more keyed ideology than liberalism--- maybe eco-naturalism? Communism and fascism are last century.

>>18248806
Looks comfy AF.

>>18250034
>>18250100
I'm in the same situation as you anons. How do I escape this?
Sometimes on my long walks I come by a big, lonely house in a quiet area and wonder what job is the owner doing, how did he manage to pay for that house and how could I do the same?
I'm saving big time so I can fuck off to the countryside in the future, about 30-40m car ride from my working place.
The urban noise is so distracting that I don't even read the books I want anymore. I won't read Moby Dick, Faulkner, very long books and anything that is too taxing. I'm always afraid that my efforts will be cut short by annoyances.
It's actually come to the point where I think I'm the only one who has achieved true sight of the situation, and everyone else tolerates this urban hellhole by extreme propaganda or denial. Other times I feel like I'm the one who is weak because I can't adapt to this environment.

>>18250370
I expected a lot more (you)s desu

>>18252550
you

>>18252550
(Εσύ)

There's a lot of shit on my mind right now so I'll start with the event that made me write this. I've been wondering if I'm a sociopath or just a bad person. My mom is ill and in the process of appointing a surgery. I'm not sure what the exact issue is because I've never cared enough to find out and never paid attention when she was talking about it. The surgery is not that risky although there's a possibility of complications (one of our relatives died because of it) so she's under quite a bit of stress. She's been postponing it for a while now, coming up with all sorts of excuses, and while I did urge her to get it over with sooner rather than later I did so purely out of self-interest, since I'm sick of her getting pains whenever we go somewhere, being in a bad mood and whining about it, and always playing the victim about being oh so ill.

The thing is, when she told me about the surgery my first thought was "well, if she dies I might have more freedom to live my life the way I want." I don't feel bad, but I know that if she died I'd be somewhat touched. Same thing happened when I saw my grandma a day before she died. I felt nothing at the funeral and forced myself to look sad, but seeing her all withered and corpse-like at the hospital did make me genuinely cry although I felt nothing by the time I got to the parking.

This sounds edgy at best and psychopathic at worst, but I do have some empathy, not much but it's there. And it manifests in bizarre ways. I never feel any moral outrage when I read about rape, child abuse, any form of sadism, and so on. I don't understand why women are so traumatized by rape (how is it worse than a beating?). All of my moral beliefs are posturing to appear morally superior, and I've been that way since childhood. But I can be touched by something bizarre like a biography of some historical personality. I have a hard time throwing away possessions that I don't need, like old clothes. I don't care about it if somebody else gets to have them, but if they go to the garbage I just feel bad. Then there are animals. I love cats and I know I'd get somewhat upset if I saw someone kill a kitten, but I have abused animals in the past and I still get an urge to abuse my pet. I've abused my neighbor's puppy to the point where he was terrified of me. I'd just squeeze it and punch/slap it, pull its tail etc. I've beat my (now deceased) dog, often for no reason at all, until she covered in fear whenever I raised my arm but I cried like a bitch when she died, and this is something that I'm ashamed of. I don't think I could stab an animal or break its neck (strong aversion to personally inflicting pain) but I could easily shoot it or guillotine it. I've also slapped my baby brother when I was like 7 to the point where he had red marks where my hand was. I'd often abuse him and convince my parents that he started it (even deliberately bruised myself). And I'd be lying if I said I derived no pleasure from this.

Cont

>>18253089
I am also sexually sadistic but in a weird way. Most of my sexual fantasies involve people I find attractive getting severely beaten or humiliated, but I'm not the one doing that. When I had a girl who was actually into it, I felt very awkward. Maybe because I wasn't really attracted to her, or because I've never liked being myself.

Speaking of past relationships, I've never loved my partners. They were stepping stone until I can get something better. I've never felt bad when they felt bad or happy when they felt happy, or cared about their issues. I've always been very aware of their flaws and saw them as unworthy of me, and most of my relationships ended with me icing the other person out and then ghosting her. Now here's the weird part. In all of these relationships I've been a complete pushover. One of my exes still says that I'm the most caring and reasonable man she's ever been with, and that her instability is the reason why we broke up. The truth is that she just became too emotionally and sexually demanding for me. But I couldn't break up with her for like... two years? Not because I'd feel bad because of all the emotional pain she'd experience (she still sends me messages sometimes and I find that flattering), but because I just can't handle other people's negative emotions, being hated, despised, looked down upon. I also cheated on her too many times (once with a man, and despite the fact that I'm quite homophobic I didn't feel shame because no one found out). Never felt any remorse about it but if she found out and confronted me about it I'd definitely be under a lot of stress.

I've been a pushover on too many occasions due to my fear of other people's negative reactions. Done people favors that I'd get nothing in return for, and then hated myself for my weakness. Sometimes I go out of my way to be edgy and a contrarian IRL but as soon as I can sense people's disgust towards me I feel anxiety and just want to escape from my skin. At the same time I feel guilty when I "circlejerk". On the internet I've always been very cruel and mean to people pretty much since childhood, I've posted many hurtful and shocking things solely to get a reaction and see other people's moral outrage, something that always entertained me. I've made fun of handicapped people and I've gone out of my way to shatter their self-esteem. But when I talk to someone online for longer periods of time, I start seeing them as a person so my ability to be mean decreases as the fear of being despised increases.

Cont

Regarding my lifestyle I live parasitically. I'm 24 and never had a job. I've dropped out of uni twice and now I'm trying for the third time. I am fairly intelligent and I don't think that higher education is beyond my capabilities but at some point it just becomes easier to pretend that I'm attending classes and make forgeries of my grades to show my parents until I get caught (still felt no remorse, just anger and stress). I am still not putting any effort into studying and I still fail to take this shit seriously even though I know I should. I know that I'll fail at this rate but I also feel like I won't, like things will work out in the end. It's hard to explain. I don't plan to live like this forever but right now I have no drive to change. I also lie to my friends about still attending the second uni and getting good grades there because I don't want to admit that I failed. I have a tendency to lie pathologically. In elementary school I'd come up with bizarre stories about doing cool shit, having a girlfriend, my father letting me drive his car and so on. As I became more socially aware my little larps became more sophisticated and consistent but the reasons are the same. I like being admired (even though I don't care about power), but as time goes by I have fewer and fewer things that I excel at due to my lack of motivation and inability to stick to things long term. That being said, I do have rather shallow knowledge of a lot of different topics so there is a certain type of people that I can impress easily. With most however I feel completely helpless and I don't know what to talk about because I don't share a lot of interests with "normies". At this point, I can barely even say that I have interests. I think I just come off as boring and maybe a bit fake. Despite my ability to impress a certain type I'm not very charming and I've been bullied in school due to my lack of social skills (overprotective mother, not much social interaction outside of a few people in my neighborhood). I used to be quite insecure about my looks (I'm short) and other children used that weakness to be mean (I never knew how to defend myself without just embarrassing myself further). I coped by coming up with grandiose plans about me mastering [insert various skills] and becoming respected and admired but like I said, sticking to long term goals has never been my strong suit. I barely have any genuine interests but I do have this obsession with self-image and I have multiple carefully crafted images that I present to different people that I'm close to.

I'll finish this by saying that even though I understand that my behavior is morally wrong I've always seen the "bad" sides of my personality (like low empathy) as a strength, and my redeeming qualities as a weakness that I'd rather get rid off. And I'm sick of dealing with my internal contradictions and wish I could either be normal or an actual sociopath.

Thank you for not reading my post and bye :DD

I need to hit the next level, climb the next step. Just layed lethargically for 8 hours without boredom. I need to reach a higher stage of consciousness, I can’t read anymore until I do so. Relearn 2+2=4, throw off the fantasies of the imagination, put off the old man, discard the vices and vanities that I have clearly identified. I don’t love knowledge for its own sake anymore. I love wisdom and desire her, and for that I need a new foundation. I can’t do it myself only insofar as God grants the grace. When I was a kid I did not ask why I studied this particular plant or this particular insect. As far as I was concerned I was following God’s will. Now that I have lost the innocence of youth, I ask “who am I?” when nature displays her wisdom before me. There it is: “I”—since when did I get so caught up with my ego? To intensify my consciousness and regain the innocence of youth and feel worthy enough to study nature again and follow God’s will in all the little things—well that’s my goal. And sitting lethargically won’t do that nor will infornographically accumulating data without wisdom. If I asked “who am I?” before taking the Eucharist I’d never take the Eucharist. Forget about myself. I approach you God not on any worth of my own but because you will it. I study nature not for my own but because you will it and because the good news already in creation must be preached for all creation by the minds of men

Can someone explain that one passage (actually I think there were two) in “A Canticle of Leibowitz” about the cat who desired to be an ornithologist? Thanks.

>Set me free, o Lord, from my own vices, so that in my own heart I may be desirous of only thy will and aware of thy summons if they come AMEN

>>18253100
>>18253104

We are very different people but I believe we share a similar temperament. I'm outwardly successful. I do well in school, I go to an Ivy, I cannot have any real complaints about my life or upbringing.

My relationships have operated in the same way as yours. I never really cared for them, I just wanted to be liked and I wanted sex. I don't feel bad for them, they don't make me particularly happy. I just enjoy being admired. I'm a pushover as well, my exes see me as reasonable and kind-hearted. Like you, they still talk to me to this day. They were all mentally ill or emotionally unstable and I did nothing to help. I couldn't stand if they hated me.

I lie constantly about accomplishments or knowing "cool" people or doing "cool" things. It's bad enough that I practically live a double life wherein my friends from university can never meet my friends from high school. I brag about doing cool shit at university to old friends and vice versa at uni. My interests have become increasingly autistic and esoteric and are too niche to talk to the average person about. Most of the time when I talk about things it is intellectual posturing using my extremely base-level knowledge of a myriad of things to impress normies. People think I'm very intelligent but I'm just well-read enough to bullshit my way through life. I don't try particularly hard in school or anything. I'm vain and self-obsessed and that's the only reason I still get out of bed in the morning.

I'm not really sure if this is sustainable for the rest of my life. I'm only nineteen and it's becoming increasingly difficult to live this way but I can't stop. I tell myself I'll stop lying but it just comes out and I can't control it. I suspect I'm borderline or something, hard to say. I refuse to go to therapy as I don't believe that psychology is a legitimate field.

To me I never really got the appeal of lying, especially on an anonymous board but in real life too.
You gain nothing from it and 99% of people have trouble remembering your name, let alone your accomplishments.
Like I could say J.k. Rowling or Stephen King or Elon Musk or Bill Gates, but I couldn't tell you much about them.
It's cliche but be yourself. If you don't care about you how can you expect someone else to?

>>18248433
I had an apartment viewing today.
Lads, I need this fucking apartment so bad, I'm going crazy. I'm one of 30 applicants. I can't take this. I NEED this apartment.

>>18248624
She's a dumb fucking slut, and I mean that sincerely. She has half her brother's brains, and her half doesn't work either.

>>18250779
ey, there's a saying: it's fine to whet your appetite elsewhere, but you always eat at home.

I understand the gays now. Women are too exhausting to deal with. I want a gf with a male brain

>>18250100
>implying German cities are noisy
You have seen nothing yet. German life is so quiet and nice.

>mom’s building a Faraday cage

i was listening to the selfish gene by dawkins and that shit is making me horny

>>18252550
it's very long

I got a pretty big watermelon. there's really good flavor in the middle but it dies out the farther out you go. i'm disappointed.

>>18254076
u don't have a clue

I have a cringe pile of communist, anarchist, and fascist literature that I read when I was younger and I want to get rid of it. I just don’t know what to do with it. I don’t really feel good about giving it away for others to read but I don’t feel good about destroying it either.

>>18252010
Personally, I would advise you guys to move out to the suburbs, move to a smaller city, or set up some sort of situation for yourself where you can summer in the country and winter in the city. When I was maybe 25 or so I thought I was sick of the city so I moved to a tiny little college town and got a job with the local college. I think it was a huge mistake. I didn’t have the money to purchase a plot of land or nice little house but I suspect if I did, I would be just as unhappy with it. It feels like running from the world. I’m young and I’m exceedingly lonely and worst of all this sort of environment is somewhat hostile to people like me, young, single, without much money. At least in the city, you’re kind of following a normal developmental track and I more or less feel like I missed out on that entirely. I actually feel that I’ve severely stunted my life potential by making this move. So I would say don’t fetishize this country living sort of thing because it’s mostly BS. You know, it’s the sort of thing that’s idealized by the wealthy, the old, parents, or else the same sort of people who say things like “farming gets into your blood it’s just a way of life” right before they hop onto their diesel farm all tractor to plow row after row of basedbean crop grown with fertilizer and industrial crop duster...

a student gave me a home cooked pie for the end of the semester, and ever since i started snacking on it, i've been diabolically horny. i'm starting to get suspicious.

>>18254689
>It feels like running from the world
This is precisely what many people want to do though because the world repulses them.

Do smart people tend to have less sexual desires?

>>18254860
low t cope

>>18254760
But it’s not running in the way that gets you anywhere. Escape is in your mind and not in your environment. You’ll travel to the ends of the earth looking for an oasis in a desert that never existed. My advice is to create the oasis where you are.

>>18253089
>>18253100
Sounds like you're cluster B, but probably not a sociopath.
>I don't understand why women are so traumatized by rape (how is it worse than a beating?).
Nigger you stayed in a relationship you hated for two years because of the vague possibility you might be hated. Imagine someone actually hated you for the length of a porn video: the level of trauma you probably feel about the imagined hatred is about what most people feel when actually hated. You already live your life like one of the bpd girls fucked up by her daddy touching her, but with a different cause. The reason you lie about shit is because you try to convince yourself the fake persona being loved is the same thing as you being loved: subconsciously you know it's not, and suspect the real you would be hated. You're condemning yourself to a cycle whereby any love bypasses your core self for an imaginary person, and your core self only gets hatred and loneliness and rejection which you use to justify keeping up the persona. If you want to be truly loved, you have to risk being truly hated. That is probably more vulnerable than you want to be so you'll keep trying to prove that other people are vulnerable so you can pretend you aren't the vulnerable one.
Your mom might have fucked you up, but you should take responsibility for your adult life. There are a lot of signs you're living it on the basis of what others think more than what you do (like only caring about the social shame of fucking a dude, more than you care about your own opinion on faggots). That's the kind of vulnerability that gets bpd girls to take 200 cocks for videos they never get paid for.

>checking out a girl at the bookstore
>she picks up a Stephen King book
>interest lost
I wish I was not like this

>typing out a long response to a comment
>"Thread pruned or deleted"
Every time.

today I decided to take myself less seriously. I got really high and ate a ton of peanuts, and spent the better part of an hour laughing at my own farts. Farts are actually pretty damn funny if you let yourself laugh at them
https://vocaroo.com/1oPtvDmKgH7B

>>18255218
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk-5RVMerfI
Farts will never not be funny.

>>18255205
I've never had issues here at home base but some boards are really surprising. Like here we have prominent lit anons (though some of us stick to the shadows) but we're a little tighter knit while it seems like on other boards there's no real community and just transient opinions. Kinda weirds me out.

I'm pretty sure I should have therapy. I can't have relationships, I don't think I'm capable of loving romantically or as a friend

>>18255292
same anon:
the problem is I feel like I remember it being this way when I was a kid too. I don't think it's necessarily that something happened and I became this way, I remember being this way from being pretty young

Sex & poo
in August 1932.

i can only read when i smoke weed, do i have a learning disability?

>>18255373
You can clearly write so you must have learned to read before picking up drugs. Sometimes it's better to return to a simple time. Throw away the drugs. Embrace literature.

>“He has a 3-year-old daughter. He graduated high school. Track and field, played football,” Wright said. “He was released on supervised release. He has a history of perfect attendance with his cases. Monetary bail is not necessary.”

anon, do you have a 3 year old daughter, a high school sports career, and perfect attendance? if not, how do you expect to get bail after going on a subway slashing spree?

there's this girl in my workplace whose desk is right next to mine, so we share my coffee machine (which I pay for), but the problem is that she does not drink the coffee she makes, she just puts it besides her.
I asked her why and she told me she just likes the smell of it, how do I confront her about drinking my coffee or not making it at all? I'm kind of scared of hot older women (she's kind of a superior of mine and she makes more money than me), that coffee is quit expensive and it pains my heart to see it go to waste.

>>18255515
Gift her an air aromatizer with coffee flavour.

>>18255515
Just say to her you don't want your coffee to go to waste, no other way around it

>>18255279
These write what's on your mind threads really help foster a board community.

>>18248444
This post >>18248440 was a reference to an old meme you faggot, wasted trips.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH2-TGUlwu4

I think what encapsulates the spirit of the old internet most is ASCII art. There used to be threads on forums like gamefaqs just dedicated to remaking popular game, TV show and film characters. The main thing is that irony was a lot rarer, and people seemed happy just to talk about stuff they enjoyed together. And compared to how it is now, that felt a lot more natural. So when I wonder why the internet feels so pessimistic now, I think it's because social justice and twitter got so big in 2012-2014. You could write an entire book about it, but basically, political correctness took over the mainstream and divided everyone which took away the "who gives a fuck, anything goes" atmosphere the internet used to have.

Did we get a newfag overzealous janny who's trying to save le board again

Why didn't anyone tell me that after turning 25 your mind gets hijacked by this weird obsession with finding the right woman, settling down and having kids? If I knew it was going to be like this I wouldn't have wasted my life during my late teens like I did.

I wonder if there are any testimonies from israelis who did military service about how they rile the grunts up with hate against the muslims. Like what the military leadership tells the conscripts about palestinians

>>18255841
Dude, the average Israelite already hates Palestinians.

>>18255841
Israelis are raised to hate all goyms, they don't need any further riling up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPVoU6PjC3U

>>18255790
Are you sure you're not a woman?

>friend asks what i've been doing lately
>watching movies, reading, writing, the usual
>writing? that's pretty depressing
what did she mean by this

>>18255878
>how do you atone for your sins? there is no temple
how do they get around this actually. do they still do the animal sacrifices somewhere?

>>18255884
Pretty sure yeah.

>>18255899
That she's a dumb whore.

>>18255899
people who hope to "become a writer" have basically given up on life and are now just waiting to win the lottery

>>18255841
idk about palestinians, but that's what they do in the greek military against the turks

>>18248433
Entre el nicho y la cesárea,
me sostiene a mi la risa.

>>18249980
good luck mate. (You) did take her phone number right? have fun lad, especially with a /lit/ girl

>almost came while meditating
Is this a sign of mastery?

I was at a party last night and I had a strong urge to fuck the wife of one of the men there. She was of course there with him. I'd met her before, and I'd always thought she was cute, but this time in particular I had a really strong urge to have sex with her and cuck him.

Of course adultery is a very bad thing in my religion so I am (probably) never going to go through with this impulse. But it was pretty strong last night.

>>18256002
It's a sign that you're getting distracted. Stop paying attention to those sensations.

BIG MAN TYRONE IS 90% OFF. NOW $10.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PC-nn0W-UNs

What is something /lit/ related for him to say?

>>18250348

>>18255790
Same thing happened to me. You just want to settle down and stop worrying.

>>18250779
Talk to her about it and be honest. If she becomes uncooperative and upset she is not the kind of person you think she is.

>>18248624
hot

>>18253824
>I refuse to go to therapy as I don't believe that psychology is a legitimate field.
read this to yourself out loud.

I feel like I need a project to throw myself against. The conquest of a frontier, or the romantic age of exploration, or the colonization of Africa. What are the projects of today? The only true one I can think of is space exploration.

>>18255978
yeh I have her social media, but like I said she's only a 3 minute walk away, I think if it leads to anything it's more of a friendship with maybe occasional sex involved which I'd prefer desu

>>18256160
He is right, though?

>>18248433
I rode my bike to the store, picked out some items and was getting rang up when I realized I left my wallet at home.

Whoops.

A scalp, some hair, you know :3

I barely read books and I'm still convinced I'm smarter than 90% of "well read" people.

>>18256269
Join the 17 year old club, faggot. You should get autobanned for saying things like that.

test

>>18256273
>You should get autobanned for saying things like that.
First sign of a naive idiot, believing bans do anything.

>>18256269
I feel like a retard 90% of the time, then when I talk with actual people I feel like a genius, though I know that's naive.

>>18256278
>>18256269
You're still not banned for being 17 and thinking you're smarter than everyone? Wow.

>>18256290
Don't get so flustered.

>>18256284
It is, somewhat. There is a certain level of emotional intelligence you get to where you realize your average person probably thinks way more about some sorts of things the average 4channer does not.
>>18256283
I'm just saying. Brainless pridefulness is common in young teenagers.

>>18256300
I'm not. See >>18256321

I would read Aristotle or Plato or religious texts for this sort of thing.

Mindless 'hubris' is never good. It never supports a good, mindful, successful culture to be exceedingly prideful.

'I am smarter than 90% of all other people' will never be successfully proven, and should never be proven, because none of the noble kings or princes ever stated they were in the position they were in because they were 'smarter'.

Intelligence seems to be an overvalued trait these days, and pride a common vice.

>>18256328
>I would read Aristotle or Plato or religious texts for this sort of thing.
People who read these are extremely stupid.

Sorry lads, this is just a catharsispost so feel free to keep scrolling lel

Finally back at church after long lockdowns in Bongland and there's plenty of young QT Christian girls there recently, one who I'm pretty sure was checking me out when I was playing in the band today. She was gorgeous, loved her vibe (like her style), really sweet Irish accent, dirty blonde hair. Felt like a coward for ducking out without saying hello, after I'd packed up my cymbals and whatnot she was with her pals, like 7-8 girls, the impenetrable (heh) swarm. That stuff defeats me, just can't find an in when they're all stood like that.

Granted me being a pussy is one thing and doesn't really matter, but I feel a bit stoic and flat this evening thinking about it. It's hard enough dating generally in current year + 7, let alone in the tiny pool of girls who are actually practicing Christians. I resent my inaction. I resent myself for the way I spent my teenage years reading and playing Vidya. I've cheated myself of picking up very basic romantic skills and honestly I'm not sure what I'm doing. Feels like I'm going to be a weird /lit/ musician virgin for the remainder of my life. Whatever. On to next Sunday, I'm sure she'll be there again, lovely as ever. Don't even know her name. Strange feels indeed.

>>18256337
Those texts have wisdom. Age old understandings about how to govern oneself.

In addition, you have not proved me incorrect. I understand that you must be very close, if not exactly, age 17 by how you reacted. I'm not going to say you shouldn't be on this site, because I came on here all the time at age 17, just realize that when you get older, you will see that thinking you are smarter than almost everyone else is laughably stupid. So much so, that those 90% must necessarily be smarter than you.

Also, some of those texts, particularly by Aristotle, require a great amount of attention to detail and understanding to comprehend. The Organon, in particular, is very involved.

>>18249980
Enjoyed reading this post

>>18255427
i feel like i have a lot more focus and concentration when i read while stoned, which obviously isn't a healthy mindset to have. when i'm sober, i'm quite scatter-brained and i often have trouble holding interest. i don't have ADD or ADHD or ACDC, so i'm curious as to if i'm just lazy and it's all in my head or if i'm truly braindead as i feel

>>18256227
One shouldn't eschew therapy because of an (un)informed opinion about the validity of "psychology". He can be as right as he wants to be.

>>18256225
Can you share any other stories anon, preferably involving art/lit women. You seem cool

>>18256339
If she's giving you signals, you'd better go and talk to her or else I'll find you and hurt you

can I still be /lit/ and use dating apps? it makes me want to kill myself but I don't know what else to do

>>18248624
beautiful jiraffe.

>>18256538
sure, what do dating apps have to do with reading? it's not like you have to give up reading if you download tinder

>>18256538
Many will say no and call you a faggot. I will say it's your life anon and you deserve happiness and if dating apps are the way you put yourself out there then that's the move. I would add, however, that dating apps are rotten, soul-crushing commodifiers of humanity filled with a large number of girls who probably are no good for you or are just there for the easy validation.

Are there any other ways to meet people? Like through family or whatever? If not maybe like Hinge or something is more apt than Tinder. Whatever it is, good luck to you bro

>>18250875
Based schizo in denial

>>18256493
There's another girl I know who's super /lit/, probably more well-read and smarter than me in many ways. To and fro' we've been kinda flirty and traded nudes when we've been drunk/horny. I only know her online though, she lives in a different country but hopes to be able to move here someday, in which case we've talked about her living with me. This whole pandemic kinda postponed that though. But she's too labile, capriscious, idk how it would work in practice. I'd like to point out the last girl I slept with before this one was also very artsy and emotionally messed up, idk if it's a coincidence or if that's just my type.

>>18248806
move that candle away from that window frame, you're one wind blow away from burning down your appartment.
why aren't you hanging out with other students if that's you want to do?

>>18256529
I want to, anon. I will see how it goes next Sunday, even just to introduce myself. Idk what to do after that though, I used to be fat so still have the mindset that girls think I'm disgusting. Prayer appreciated from any Christianbrehs out there.

>>18249168
21 years old I've been incredibly depressed my whole life up until this last year and a half. I used to really see the worst in everything around me and thought everything in life was boring. I retracted from friends and family and would only talk with other people about what I did not like about life until they all retracted from me. I was incredibly suicidal as well to the point where it was the only thing i could think about and i had terrible nightmares every night. I don't really care where I land up as long as I don't want to blow my brains out then I think it'll be okay.

>>18256430
I'm a Gemini that hates drugs and only drinks seldomly and socially when I do but I've seen stoners say they do some things better stoned but I've never seen them do anything other than consume. I've yet to do anything significant done by someone under the influence of any drug.
If you're just consuming literature just force yourself to sit down and watch grass grow or stare into space. Use your imagination. Some people call it meditating.
I call it daydreaming. Anywho, cold turkey the drugs. They never existed. They never will exist. Live without them. Regain your focus. No more withdraws. No, put away the weed doesn't give withdraws charts. Throw them away with the drugs.
Read.
Yes.

>>18256339
>>18256628
Lol, she's probably got a bf already, get over it sadsack

The past two weekends have been disastrous to my psyche. After awakening from my drunkenness I'm attacked by a combination of guilt and weakness at the recollection my drunken actions. I'm not sure how much of it is from purely physical factors (lack of sleep, drinking etc) and how much is new psychological issues from getting older and attaining a deeper insight into the nature of man (or of myself). I go out, have a good time and then suddenly I reveal too much or a miscommunication sets of a chain of eccentric behaviors that taints the air and torments me the next day or couple of days. My thoughts replay the events and embellish them with explanations not unlike a page of Dostoevsky or create an alternative scenario where the wrong turn was avoided. The worst part is I've only recently gone out with the intention of finding a new set of friends after having to cut off close ones for being lazy idiots and each time I've said or done something it creates a kind of animosity amongst a member of the group. I'd go into the details but they are trivial and have to do with Male-Male status competition.

At what age do you admit your failures and say “This whole living thing isn’t working out” before deciding to just opt out. How long should you try to put something together before you just get tired of failing miserably consistently over and over?

>>18249444
>18, turning 19 in a month. Life has been pretty tough so far, but I guess one of the advantages to being young is that I have the future to forward to.
That’s true but my advice is to not expect it to just work out. You’ve got to leverage your youth now to figure what it is you should be doing such that your worth having lived was worth it. You may never know but if you start now you might be able to live with that.

>>18256821
We're authors here. Failing over and over is what we do. You just keep learning and keep going.

>>18256821
never, just hang on and take comfort in knowing that you can still be a bother to the world, you still have a footprint even if it doesn't feel very meaningful or positive that's how I cope anyway

>>18256800
I get this same kind of anxiety what I've done is try to just keep it to being tipsy unless I'm with people I trust a lot. Also spending more time listening and talking to people about themselves rather than yourself will make you feel like less of a weirdo

>>18256893
This is good advice for spergs also. Be interested, not necessarily interesting.

I just look at you >25's as wee babies at this point, and I didn't understand that perspective when I was that age mysefl

>>18256849
>We're authors here.
You sure?

>>18256800
I know this might be bad advice, but maybe drink a little less? I only say this as I hugely value my ability to control and dictate my expression and what I choose to say to people, and remember binge-drinking in first year at uni and making a giant tit out of myself amongst friends and strangers alike. I don't really drink much more than 4-5 pints over an evening at the boozer now with my mates and that works for me; enough to loosen up, not enough to make me start to say questionable things about myself or my beliefs as a man.

>>18256901
People love to talk about themselves, and that includes me.

>>18256932
Oh of course, I love sitting ruthlessly punishing people who dare ask me about myself or my interests by describing why I like playing jazz or what I'm reading. Hope you enjoy my 5 minute monologue on the Gold Standard, friend's flatmate I've just been introduced to.

>>18256925
Well. SOME of us are.
I mean, I'm sure the people that aren't at least enjoy reading for the sake of reading and aren't using novels to act hoity toity.
They'd be excited to meet authors of any caliber and be the biggest fans!

>>18256628
>I used to be fat so still have the mindset that girls think I'm disgusting

>>18250100
Looks like München

I just turned 24 and I don't like it, but I am not getting any younger, so I may as well embrace what youth I have left in me.

>>18248809
>that pic
my sides

>>18256673
what drew you to unironically believing in astrology? genuinely curious

>>18257022
Uhh it started when I was like 19 with my ex "fiance" and she would only date people who were compatable with Aries (and Gemini is) and so we used astrology as a base to get to know each other. (Oh your sign does this? Do you do this? Tell me about what you do)
She was a Wiccan big titty goth gf that you'd expect a gothic author who writes of death to have. Alas, it wasn't forever. Young love and all that.
I just remember having a lot of real similarities to my star sign and have the quirk of looking up any girls star sign that I'm into at the moment.
I don't take it really seriously but a lot of authors are Gemini so I like to go Hi I'm author of [Redacted for Anonymity]! I'm totally a Gemini forgive me if I'm a little air headed. Etc.

>>18248809
rofl for the pic

>>18248624
>claims to be pro life

>>18257077
Well, astrology has some grounds.

I think it is severely underrated, and this is coming from someone who believes in God (so not even believing it from a witchcraft point of view)

However, depending on the stars you're born under, you are going to act in a certain manner. It's just how it is.

Older authors like Roger Bacon used constellations to predict prophets or great people, and when certain planets were in certain 'houses' it was the coming of another prophet/great man/age.

>>18257109
Yeah it's just one of those things that's popular to hate for the sake of hating it. I delve into spirituality a lot in my writing. Like today's page was a homage to journey to the west where I briefly allude to the theme where all religions can exist in tandem right?
I find it a major boon. Everything doesn't have to be dire and serious all the time but shadows can be comfy.
See that? I made a blankie out of those shadows. Very warm.

>>18256893
>>18256930
thanks frens you are probably right about drinking less because I've had pretty bad hangovers after each time. I often do let people talk about themselves and I don't have an issue just shooting it off from there. Might have just been a couple bad random events or I'll have to learn to how to monitor my speech in a group when discussing anything with respect to identity.

>>18257141
Yeah but your post is one of aesthetic.

I think we agree that zodiac signs have meaning, I lament that people who are scientific OR religious don't understand that though. :3

>>18257150
I know right? We're on the same wavelength and it feels wonderful.

>>18249395
If you're over 20 finding a girl with a body count under 6 is not possible.

>>18257172
you're being dramatic, people born in the 90's on average have less sex than both their parents and grandparents and that includes women too

>>18257011
It's Kassel =)

>>18257185
less sex but more partners. You have way more sex when you have a gf/bf than if you are pumping and dumping unless you are a whore of tremendous proportions

which is better?
>while i was doing this, this happened
>when i was doing this, this happened

I don’t want to live with my parents but I don’t want to keep working at this job either. I’m stuck.

>>18257335
it's both less frequently and with fewer partners, even if the public space is more sexualized and sexual mores give more leeway than in a long time, our society is very infertile

Do any of you have a day job that doesn’t make you want to kill yourself? I really can’t keep doing what I’m doing.

>>18257488

>>18257491
Too early, faggot.

>>18257468
I dunno m8, work is work.

Might as well work in a job when you can. Sometimes, I find that it's very easy for people to be OVER THE TOP assholes to you, and have you leave or fired. Getting into a position where I'm comfortable and making money is tough, if you're in one, just stay there while you can.

I have definitely left jobs I could have stayed at for years though, as well. But mostly just for dishonesty on the employer's end.

>>18257531
sorry, not sorry

>>18257531

test

swag

ass

>>18257357
None.
"Something happened while I doing this: [...]"

>>18256339
Vow celibacy like a real Christian

I wish I wasn't so tormented by everything that has happened. I say everything because it seems like it isn't just the bad stuff, even quite neutral stuff makes for really bad memories for some reason. It's like this most of the time, but not all of the time.

>>18256621
social incompetence. I have an inferiority complex. Might have to visit a therapist sooner or later