/lit/ - Literature

>>17596358
Yup. I just wrote it up and thought it was shitpost worthy. I don't expect kind words or praise from this place. What do you think. Did you at least get a chuckle out of any of it?

i have come to the realization that what i thought was my clever refutation of the typical engine of character motive compelling the action of the story was actually, well, a flawed concept and bad writing.

>>17596476
>>17596542

>>17596588
oh i see your reply.
i think it would work better if like she laughs at him giving her a flower and then he rapes her or something

Someone told me that my work is "overwritten". What the fuck does that even mean? Isn't that a good thing? It's like they want me to seriously reduce my word count by reducing the sentence quality. At least, what I think is quality.

How do you guys assess feedback?

Any idea on when F Gardner's next book comes out? I know he posts on here and I just finished all of Horror's Call and I would like some more. What's the word?

Posting my short stories again. Any feedback welcome. They are meant to be silly satire so don't take them too seriously.
dumbeddownstories.blogspot.com

>>17596606
Overwritten means they knew what you were talking about before they even got to the halfway mark. You may be able to just punch sentences out of the work at random and the redundancy of the text will still keep it coherent. give that a shot.

Okay so I've just realised while reading Meditations that I've always accepted death I'm not important In the whole scheme of things yadda yadda yadda. But Theo not thing that worries me about death is the people it effects around me. It's something I just cannot brush off. When I think of say dying tomorrow in a freak accident. I don't care that I just died. What I care more about it who finds me, who sees me, how, and how long I affects my family and friends. Yes they'll die eventually and get over it.
I won't even exist so I can't care but I do care right now. I can't be comfortable with death with these thoughts.
What do you anons think?

>>17596606
It means you write how you would say or explain it but you write too much. Maybe ask your family or people who know you if you talk to much when trying to make a point and what you can do to reduce it.

>>17596606
it means your audience is telling you that their enjoyment of your work is being hindered. you can do nothing about it in the vain hope that it's not that big a deal, the imagined audience in your head will side with you, or you can tailor the experience to suit the desires of the very real audience that you gave your work to specifically for this kind of feedback.

>go through webnovels on a bunch sites
>Litrpg about protag as a fantasy dungeon
>Chinese fantasy about underdog and jadelike beauties on top of a mountain of enemies
>Edgy fantasy that usually falls into grimderp
>You have huge scale that means you have huge stakes fantasy
>Oh no, a modern guy went into the "historical" past fantasy
>Fantasy but with lewd magic/curses, cursed bondage, damsel in distress, whatever else.
>Contemporary fantasy about werewolf, vampires or whatever.
>Just contemporary, either melodrama or what author thinks of as a serious no nonsense work
Where's my fun sci fi at? There's some of it in manga and LNs, but those depend on translators.
Amusingly enough, the only times I met sci fi was in lewd stories that had magic elves vs high tech humans faction conflicts.

When do you draw the line and say "it's good enough?" I've learned to doubt my own satisfaction with my writings. In the moment that I complete it the first time, I feel it does everything I want of it. Then when I reread it, it burns through me like white hot garbage. So I rewrite it. Then I reread what I rewrote. It's still not enough. The process repeats. And I can see myself repeating this process for eternity, like some king of Turing halting problem, never able to terminate my own program. A bad writer is one who has too much faith, but a writer who gets nothing out the door is one who is always revising in search for a Platonic form of perfection. This riddle seems to lack a factual answer.

>>17597145
That's because you get better over time. So write new stuff instead of rewriting old.
Unless it's so bad that it can't tell what you want, but that's not fixed by rewrites, but by breaking the story down on a technical level of promise/delivery/payoff, main/sub plot, character arcs, etc.

>>17597145
how many people do you show your work to?

>show someone in my peer group some of my writing, whether it is a short story I’m writing or a play
>they always insist it’s really good
>tfw they’re either lying to not hurt my feelings or they’re not literate enough to tell if it’s good
either that or I really am the GOD of literature and literally everything I write is kino.
I’ll go with the last one.....

>>17597211
then show it to people outside your peer group

They could see

or

They would see?

Rate my excerpt


I celebrated my arrival in Kyoto with a dinner of grilled eel, a sublime delicacy in Japan. In the water the fish resembles a ferocious jagged-toothed snake. But when sizzled over hot charcoal it looks like a fillet of sole that has spent the winter in Palm Beach. The skin turns crisp and smoky and the fatty white flesh, basted with a sweet onions syrup, becomes deeply tanned and as succulent as foie gras.

The restaurant was located in a cheery yellow mall beneath Kyoto Station, home to the southern bus terminal, north-south subway line, and Japan Railroad Tokaido Main, one of the four major bullet train routes. Being coatless and having underestimated how cold it gets in Kyoto in early November after the sun goes down, I had ducked into the mall in search of warmth and something to eat.

The restaurant lay at the end of a long corridor lined with inexpensive clothing emporiums, elegant Japanese sweet shops, and trinket stores selling sandalwood fans, pottery tea bowls, and I Love Kyoto key chains. Like all the other eateries in the area, the eel restaurant displayed lifelike plastic models of the items on its menu in a brightly lit picture window. I chose a small wooden table for two in the back of the restaurant and sat down in the chair facing the kitchen. I was the only diner. The chef, sporting a clean, pressed, white cotton band around his forehead, came over to my table. He was apparently also the waiter.

"Are you kmrmshtka?" asked the chef.

"Hmmm?" My eyebrows shot up.

"What would you nsmsplka?"

I giggled nervously, then bit my lower lip. He gestured to the window and started walking. I followed him outside. "Unagiijxwbrp?" he asked. I began to tell him I wanted the tray holding the single, not double, fillet of grilled eel with rice, soup, and pickles, but he interrupted.

>>17597728
"No English," he said with a frown, shaking his head. I tapped my finger several times against the glass in front of the dinner I wanted, hoping he might make the connection.

"Ah, ah," he exclaimed, pointing at the glass, "Unagixpxwz." I squinted and leaned toward the window to read the plastic plaque marked with the meal's price in yen, then slowly wrote the price on my palm with my index finger and tapped the window again.

"Hai, hai." He beamed, nodding vigorously. "Kirin?" Now, that I understood.

"Yes," I said loudly, as if increasing the volume might lead to an increased understanding.

"Ladzkmttaka?" He opened his hands as if holding an invisible fire hydrant from top to bottom.

"Yes!" I boomed, not having the foggiest idea of what he had just asked.

The double-size beer arrived quickly, along with a glass. It wasn't one of those huge Henry the VIII steins like we get back home, but instead a teensy tumbler, similar to what budget hotels in America use for juice glasses at their complimentary breakfast buffets. I filled the glass and took a sip. The amber liquid tasted bitter and refreshing.

After about ten minutes, dinner came to the table looking identical to its plastic counterpart. Unfortunately, the eel's texture was similar too. But the accompanying steamed rice, pressed into the shape of a chrysanthemum, had a clean, delicate sweetness unlike any rice I had ever tasted. The tray also held a plastic bowl of miso soup, clear in parts and cloudy in others. I stirred the mixture with the tip of my chopsticks, then picked up the bowl and sipped the savory liquid enriched with diced tofu and emerald wisps of wakame seaweed.

In a shallow dish sat a small block of bean curd splashed with onions sauce and topped with pinkish curls of dried bonito that looked like pencil shavings. I cut into the silky white cube and tried to balance the craggy chunk on the slender pieces of wood. It tumbled off. After trying again, success was rewarded with the sweet taste of milky custard mingled with dark onions and smoky fish flakes. There were pickles too, crisp neon-yellow half-moons of sweet daikon radish and crunchy slices of eggplant. Although I had not expected culinary brilliance from a mall restaurant, dinner was exceeding expectations. The ingredients were plain, but exceptional in their purity and freshness.

>>17597728
>>17597732
Why are you trying to write about going to a place you’ve clearly never been to?
Also, the Japanese do serve drinks in steins. I’ve never been served a drink in a tumbler in my life.

>>17597728
>Kyoto
>Japan
>succulent
>Kyoto Station
>bullet train
>Japanese sweet shops
>trinket stores selling sandalwood fans, pottery tea bowls, and I Love Kyoto key chains.
>eateries
>eel restaurant displayed lifelike plastic models of the items on its menu in a brightly lit picture window.
>wooden table
>The chef, sporting a clean, pressed, white cotton band around his forehead
>I giggled
>then bit my lower lip.
>fillet of grilled eel with rice
>"No English,"
>"Hai, hai."
>double-size beer
>teensy tumbler
>plastic counterpart
>eel's texture
>chrysanthemum
>miso soup
>chopsticks
>diced tofu
>wakame seaweed
>bean curd
>pinkish curls of dried bonito that looked like pencil shavings.
>silky white cube
>success was rewarded with the sweet taste of milky custard
>smoky fish flakes
>There were pickles too
>crisp neon-yellow half-moons of sweet daikon radish and crunchy slices of eggplant.

Written poorly you fuckin' weeb, and it's incredibly racist. 0/10. Consider quitting.

>>17597728
>Being coatless and having underestimated how cold it gets in Kyoto in early November after the sun goes down, I had ducked into the mall in search of warmth and something to eat.

This is an ugly sentence. The rest will pass.

>>17597732
>double-size beer
a what? where is this even a thing

>>17597732
>Henry the VIII steins like we get back home

no wait, ESL, right?

I want too make a book of interviews of random people I meet in life, I want to ask maybe the same 7ish questions for everyone then some more imporov ones based on thier life situations current ideas for the main ones are

What is your biggest fear

How do you cope with your own mortality

What life advice would you give too someone who reads this long after we are dead

I'm not too sure on the rest but I also will have the persons interviewed ask met 3-5 questions of thier own choosing, I dont plan on publishing this i would maybe have 200 books made and I would seal and bury them around the world in time capsules for people to find

If I introduce a character's name, after the introduction, can I just use "he" or "she" after that? Or do I have to sprinkle it in throughout the story somehow?

>>17597174
Appreciate the perspective, I write widely and am not fixated on a single subject, although in the past year and change I have dedicated myself to a single book because it is impossible to finish a 300,000 word book without dedicating yourself to it completely.

>>17597191
Currently, zero. But that's because I'm surrounded by plebs and am a working class wunderkind. I have one friend (call him J) who is as smart as me and grew up in the same conditions. Otherwise I am surrounded by idiots. When I was in college, I received high praise for my writings, but I no longer have that framework to surround me. Although I have intelligent friends, none of them would understand the specific project I am working on. It's a philosophy book that probably a few thousand people in the world would understand. As a result I am an isolated iceberg of literacy in a sea of inanimate objects.

>>17596630
shut up faggot

How abstract can the plot and structure be? My stories are very abstract, they don't seem to follow any sort of traditional story arc. I'm not sure if this is a problem or not, and maybe I should be following some sort of traditional story arc by outlining more.

>>17598087
The structure should fit your story, not the other way around.

The act structure, the hero's journey, the team underdog, the apprentice and mentor, and just copy the popular work structure. Overarching themes like War, Glory, Revenge, Love, Money, Road, Religion. The general promise - delivery - payoff guide to story arcs.
All these are tools to improve your drafts.

pls R8 this passage from my fantasy novel
>inb4 fantasy sucks

The crowd gathered hushed in the old hall. The air was thick with incense smoke, the sweet of oadwood and the musk of leather. The polished limestone arches of the hall swam with the glow of the glass lanterns that illuminated the empty stage. The instruments were arranged elegantly asymmetrical in the plane, pure and stark, like figures in a landscape painting, or votive objects on the shelf of an ancestor’s tomb. The harp, sinuous and curving as a wave. The bass cithara, almost absurd in its size, so long and deep as to dwarf the human figure, lathed in sheaves of strings, studded with innumerable spheres: tuning pegs of black ebony, from the size of pinhead to the size of an autumn apple. The tambours like huge silver kettles, their mallets neatly folded atop their taut skins. And the bells, rows upon rows of them arrayed upon their flintwood racks, sparkling and iridescent, blue and tumescent as a dragonfly’s wing.

Istreya sipped her flute of nectar, felt the glow of the sparkling libation rush through her body, a warm and dizzy surge. The light of the glass lanterns seemed to flare brighter, then dim. The sussurus in the great hall softened. A collective intake of breath as the crowd fell quiet. One by one, the musicians emerged from the darkness behind the stage and took their places with their instruments.

Menelca, master of the cithara, struck the first note: so deep it pricked skin, thrummed innards. Istreya could feel the hall swallow as if of one throat. The harpist held her instrument to her body, strummed an enigmatic chord that arched atop the cithara’s depth. As gentle as a midwife, the bellist lifted her mallets, struck the glassy panoply; their vibrating peals tingled eardrums like globules of glimmering rain. The musicians seemed turned inward, away from themselves and the world, their eyes unseeing, lost in a greater mystery.

The melody took hold of the hearts of all those listening: unknown yet familiar in some intrinsic way. Chords and scales of arcane elegance, overlapping friezes of jewel-like tones and unearthly harmonies, at once sardonic in their pastiche, yet simple in their melody, and deeply moving. A song to the silence of God, to the beauty and the torture of the world. It was a hymn, yet it bore an evil radiance; it was a song of love, and therefore of loss. The music stirred spirits, tugged at the hems of souls. The sorcery had begun.

>>17598347
Waaaaay too pretentious with the vocabulary and the metaphors. You’re trying too hard. The goal of literature is to communicate, not impress. Stick to what’s essential. Look over your adverbs, adjectives and fancy literary devices, and make each one fight for its existence. Purge the weak.

The scene itself is excellent, though. I could hear the music seep through your words.

>>17598383
Thank you for the feedback, anon. I only recently started writing again, so this passage is a little rusty. I’ll go back and trim the fat.

Very glad you could hear the music.

My dad says I have to get a real job. Goodbye writing career. I hardly got to know you

>>17598412
I know I’m an absolute shill for him, but have you tried reading any Dunsany? He’s the absolute best at mixing beautiful prose with a beautiful and fascinating fantasy setting and story. Couldn’t hurt to imitate a bit of that style along with your other influences.

>>17598516
Tell your dad to get a job

>>17598540
Thank you Frater, he's on my list, I will certainly bump him up. I just finished Piranesi, which also managed to accomplish a sense of Borgesian mystery in a unique fantasy setting without resorting to purple prose.

Another question about porn books.

What are the sexiest fantasy races, or should I invent my own? Are animal eared girls or other monster girls considered too exotic and should need a book focusing on them instead of just having them be one of the crowd?

>>17598622
Borges quite liked Dunsany and used him in one of his collections, check either one of these short stories out.

https://pastebin.com/d67ck2CU

https://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/dun/tbow/tbow15.htm

Do tell how you like the prose and aesthetic.

>>17598805
Usually animal ears, horns or tails do not fall under furry.
As for races, depends on what you want and what is going to happen. If you lewdness is centered around magic, maybe choose magic attuned races like elves/kitsune/etc. Because using popular archetypes come with prebuilt expectations.

>>17598087
See >>17598122
A story's structure should be utilitarian in its creation—it is whatever you need it to be.

>>17598861
>Because using popular archetypes come with prebuilt expectations.
Alright, thanks. One reason I asked was because I was thinking of switching out the dwarf with a shortstack cowgirl instead, and it sounds like I'm making a good decision based on what that.

>>17597113
I've tried to read the top-rated stories on RR just to see why people promote them everywhere, but I just don't get it. It's always a struggle to get to the end of chapter 1. I've never seen a web novel that made me go like, "wow, this is pretty interesting". Or, never mind interesting, there's not even any "turn off your brain and have fun"-stories either. They're all so badly written, enjoyment of any level is impossible.

>answer these questions for your protagonist
>post results

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

>>17598936
desu this is me, not my protagonist.... he's like me, but worse

>>17598936
It doesn't tell much.

>>17598930
A lot of them are ESL and most of them don't have editors of any kind. I guess if you compare them to mtl LNs or webcomics, there are decent ones.

>>17599325
I've browsed through RR for hours and have yet to find a single novel worth reading – really anything that even meets a certain standard of readability, let alone literary quality. If you have one in mind, post it, please.

>>17598936
Yikes.

>>17596606
If your writing sounds like writing you need to rewrite it.

>>17598087
>by outlining more
This is never the answer unless your goal is to eradicate every ounce of creative voice in your writing.

>>17599325
There are LNs that are badly written and full of mistakes, but still entertaining enough to hold attention for a while and make you want to see what happens next. The bar is really low. But web novels can't even reach there. You have stories that are correctly and competently written, but are still so completely unoriginal, unfunny, and aimless, it's impossible to hang on. Of course, most of them are by esl kids, it's pointless to even criticize them. But you'd think even one writer out there has hit gold

>>17598064
>already making excuses for why people won't read your book
>it's not even finished
lol

Other than simply seeing a beautiful woman, what are some reasons for a man to give up a vow of celibacy?

>>17599494
Children? Successor, heir, continuation of lifelong plans or revenge/etc?

>>17598064
>I have one friend
>(call him J)
>never mentions friend again

>>17599510
Maybe he shows up in the sequel

>>17597573
Neither. Just say what it is they saw.

>>17596606
if im reading something and i can't break away from the fact that i'm reading dead words on paper, then the writing is bad. look at something like the 2,500 word run-on sentence near the beginning of 2666. while bolano was obviously being ostentatious, still, it wasn't until i was 3 pages in before i even realized it was all one sentence because it flowed so naturally. dfw does the same thing. that is good ass writing and not easy to do and they would never be able to get away with it if they were "overwriting".

also "overwriting" is a common criticism because it sounds almost like a compliment "like this is good, but you need to make it less good because it's too good", but it isn't. even sub85iq mongs with a thesaurus and interesting ideas can overwrite something

>>17599478
One thing that people don't realize is that literary talent and story talent are completely separate things. Often the ratings on webnovels hinge on the first, because they're being graded by people who aren't professional reviewers. They read the story, or at least the first few chapters, go to rate it, and they can't think of a reason to rate it low, as all of the words seem well chosen. There aren't grammatical errors they can easily spot. You can tell when this is the case because the written reviews will have nothing of substance to say - the story gave them nothing to think about. They'll say how it was an interesting concept in an interesting setting and how the writing read very nicely to them, but none of that is what makes a story fun. So, basically, the ratings on such sites are useless, because they'll only tell you if a story is well-written OR fun, and the sad truth is that almost every highly-rated story only falls into the first category.

The unfortunate side effect is that authors who have a story that they're passionate about try writing them on such sites, post something of objectively high quality, and find that they get no readers. It's through no fault of their own. The algorithms simply drown them out, favoring long-running drivel that's accumulated many high ratings over the years. Discouraged, they begin to doubt that the idea they were passionate about is truly worth telling, and they leave.

This is why I have never bothered with those sites beyond the initial curiosity to see if there was anything worth reading. I don't think that there is, and if there is, it's much too hard to find. I think the only fun webnovel I've actually read is Worm, and even that has almost too many problems for me to recommend (which is a discussion for /sffg/.) But my point is that Worm was published on the author's own blog and advertised by the author and readers rather than the rating algorithm. If you're an actually good storyteller and you want to write a webnovel (for some insane reason,) that seems to be the much better option.

How do I fucking edit without losing days or weeks of work? I have been trying to write a longer story, targeting 150-200 pages, but I keep rethinking how the story will go. But every time I rethink things, I end up deleting 5-10 pages of prose, some of it pretty good, just doesn't fit into the story exactly anymore. How can I develop the skill of rearranging the plot while editing, rather than wholesale deleting (good) things? Some of them probably should just go, but some of them I know there is good stuff in, I just don't know how to repurpose.

>>17599674
>But my point is that Worm was published on the author's own blog and advertised by the author and readers rather than the rating algorithm. If you're an actually good storyteller and you want to write a webnovel (for some insane reason,) that seems to be the much better option.
I'd heavily prefer doing this than posting on Retard Road, but I have no idea how to drive traffic to a WordPress blog. Twitter shilling? Purchasing ads? Even if RR is an absolute cancer, your story will still pop up on the last published/trending feed.

>>17599726
Well, step one is to put a good story on your blog. Chances are, you won't. But, if you can clear that hurdle, you should probably put a whole story arc's worth of it up there before you even start trying to drive traffic to it. Once you've got a good story, you can buy ads and be active in webnovel communities (discords and forums and tumblr/twitter and such.) That's legitimately active, by the way, not shill-active. People detect that and don't respond well to it. But if you're not a social person like that, ads are always there.

>>17599674
>post something of objectively high quality, and find that they get no readers

Where are these high quality stories? Every abandoned fiction I've come across had no readers for very obvious reasons.

>>17599707
Don't delete anything. If you're going to make such dramatic changes, just start a new draft, where you copy-paste the good parts. Or you might end up losing something you later regret

>>17599827
If you read a hundred stories posted by randoms, 0 of them are going to be good. If you read a thousand, a couple of them might be good. I'm sure there are some on there - I'm giving the site at least that much benefit of the doubt - but I don't have any to point to.

>>17599726
I tried my own WP blog before moving to RR. Had it for three years and had like 50 page views in all that time. And twitter does fucking nothing if you don't already have 100+ friends to link and RT you. It's pure lottery

>>17599863
Instead of checking 30,000+ fictions one-by-one myself, I've looked for recommendations on the forums. There are bored people out there, who have actually gone through almost everything on the site, but nothing worthwhile ever gets brought up. I can only conclude there's nothing.

>>17599707
I agree not to actually delete, but you don't lose work because all that writing helped you formulate what you want to say.

>>17599827
:( BurgerPunk

>>17599910
That's true, it's definitely still helped to have written it, but what I'm referring to is more like a scene I wrote that covers the idea I want to cover, but for plot reasons, it no longer makes sense in the way I originally wrote it.
>>17599855
I've been writing in a google doc which has full edit history, so if I ever want something back, I can look back and find it. But typically I just move the passage to an ideas section so I can still reference later

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/37998/wish-mountain/chapter/609878/the-trial-of-hress-dunter-chapter-one

Six chapters out at the moment. Next chapter ends the episode one arc.

If anyone has questions about the story, or about the writing process, ask away. There's 70 pages worth of story to be read with more on the way, just needs to be edited.

>>17599945
Neither your blurb nor your introduction give me any reason to continue reading. What I know about your story is this: it is about a man who is in jail and will climb a mountain. Which part of this is supposed to interest me? The upcoming event you suggest in your intro is a trial, which we hear about before we're told what the associated crime is. A trial with no context sounds boring as shit. If you want to salvage this shit, rewrite the synopsis to tell us something compelling about the protagonist and start linking to that rather than this legless introductory chapter.

>>17596607
He said there’s more coming soon on one of his ads.

>>17600062
Right you make a good point. Thanks for the feedback.

He is being tried for the murder of the Prince. The trial is particularly lively since he was the guest of honour at the Prince's ball. He was the guest of honour because he's regarded as a folk hero for a previous incident of heroism.

I'll try and rework that synopsis to include more of this.

>>17599945
>>17600062
All of that would be okay, if it were just executed well. I could see this premise work easily as a sort of CGI-heavy summer B-movie penned by Guy Ritchie. Unfortunately, the author is not Guy Ritchie. Every time I open it, there's something different about the first chapter. By this point, anon should list all his readers as co-authors. Yet, even after all the revisions, it still doesn't work. The "boobies tehehe!"-tier humor was the last nail for me. No, a courtroom full of grown adults will not start uncontrollably giggling at the mention of breasts, holy christ.

>>17600163
>the author is not Guy Ritchie

Well that's good at least. Also the boobies stuff makes me laugh every time as the author. So yeah totally get if it isn't your cup of tea though.

>>17600181
Bonus points for the author being an intolerable memer

>>17598064
>a few thousand people
>globally
heavy ngmi energy. forget the praise you received in uniersity, you paid for that praise. it never existed.

Does /wg/ have a preference on self-publishing vs. small press options? I know my shit's good, and I want to get it out into the world at some point.

he-he-he

Dumbstruck, the incredulous cashier just stared for a few seconds. The clown's expression grew more contrived and he repeated his orders: "everything in the registry you dumb bitch, this is a McRobbery! And hands where I can fucking see them NOW!"
He seemed serious enough and the gun looked as real as any, but the cashier did not move and stared with mouth slightly agape.
-Is this a prank?, she asked with a stutter.
-A prank? A FUCKING PRANK? I WILL MCKILL YOU IF YOU DON'T HAND OVER THE FUCKING CASH RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
At last she understood, opening the registry and shuffling the money into the plastic bag with trembling hands. Someone in the back whispered to his friend: did he say McRobbery?
The sound of held-back laughter echoed for a second across the hall and the clown turned to the baffled guests in rage.
- Are you mocking me? Do you think I'm joking around or mcsomething?
Still more bursts of laughter escaped the guests' mouths.
-Oh I'll mcgive you something to mclaugh about, alright!
Waving his gun wildly he pressed two bullets into one of the customers, setting of screeches of terror all around.
-How's that for a joke, you fucking fat fucking pigs, HUH? NOT LAUGHING NOW ARE WE?
The cashier was done and held the bag to the robber but he didn't notice.
-S-sir your order, I mean y-your money.
He turned and took the bag. For some unfathomable reason the horrified cashier added the words:
- Please don't mcshoot me.
The armed jester, not in a jesting mood at all, raised his mcgun to her face and shot the cashier's teeth in. More screams of panic were heard and the clown finally turned to leave the establishment muttering loudly to himself:
- How's that for your laughter you fucking cunts.
When one of the guests couldn't bare it and bursted out:
-Don't you mean mclaughter?
The bandit snapped. Noone made it out alive, and the clown was gunned down in the parking lot of the Burger King he decided to rob on that fateful day. One of the news outlets decided to call this event the McSlaughter.

Felt like writing something. Feedback is much appreciated.

>>17600261
should've stopped at
>shot the cashier's teeth in

>>17600261
is this burgerpunk taken literally

>>17599707
If it doesn't fit into your story, delete and forget about it. Writing extra words that you don't end up using is part of the process. They are not wasted words because it's practice. Don't be so attached to the product and focus your attention on the process. It will be more rewarding and your book will be better for it. In other words, keep doing what you are doing and don't sweat the stuff you're deleting.

>>17600313
thanks 'non

>>17600296
Sensible. Anything else?

>>17600309
Lol

>>17600261
If no one made it out alive and the shooter died too, how does anyone know what happened?

Wish Mountain anon here.

Help me out with the synopsis please.

Here's a new one:

>After the death of the Prince a trial is held to decide the innocence of the one-time folk hero Hress Dunter.

This kind of thing isn't my strong suit so I'd appreciate any help with it.

>>17600334
The narrator is omniscient obviously.

>>17600332
nothing apart from grammar and spelling, i guess

>>17600343
But then why was the event called McSlaughter by the news when he had robbed a Burger King?

>>17600357
Because the robber was dressed as Ronald McDonald

>>17600362
The only reason to assume that is the image posted along with the text.

>>17600261
Adding mc to everything doesn’t automatically make it burgerpunk.

The more Burgerpunk story would have been a robbery where all the gungho thief is taken aback by how helpful the employees are to his robbery with the only person complaining being the manager.

>>17600376
a burgerpunk story wouldn't be about a robbery at all. it would be about a fat autist who shits himself in line because he can't order fast enough on account of intrusive thoughts about how mad he is that pyra got into smash. that's burgerpunk.

>>17600340
Who, what, where, and why. That's all you need for a synopsis.

>Frodo Baggins and his friends are tasked to take a magic ring to Mordor, where it can be destroyed, or else Dark Lord Sauron will take over the world.

I think your synopsis is otherwise fine, it just needs to clarify the why a little more. What does the MC need an "all-powerful wish" for? Or does he? You don't need to spoil it, if it's supposed to be a secret, but give some hint. And what does the kingdom have to do with it? Clear that up, and I think it should hook a few kids more.

What’s the deal with RR anyway? I just read their tos and it looks like they don’t allow porn at all? Was I just on the wrong page or is that right?

>>17600458
Sex scenes are fine, but no erotica, stories that are just about smut).

>>17600444
Okay this is really helpful thanks.

Maybe...

>All one-time hero Hress Dunter wants is to enjoy his newfound fame and fortune, but when he is put on trial for the murder of the Prince, a chain of events begins that sets him on a journey to become a true hero: whether he wishes to be or not.

>>17600373
Yes. And? Even without the picture it should be somewhat self-evident.

>>17600376
Isn't supposed to be burgerpunk.

>>17600498
Not really, it could just be a clown. You don't have to say Ronald McDonald but at least describe the colors or something, like the red hair

>>17600479
Notice that you've thrown away both where and what now and it still doesn't explain why. Somehow, you managed to make it even more vague than it was. This might be too much asked of your IQ.

>>17600512
A clown that adds a mcprefix to every third mcword doesn't scream McDonalds to you?

>Author's name is Neil Gaiman
>Author is straight

>>17600473
Ah, okay that does make some sense. My plan was Amazon, but maybe I’ll try there after I finish, though I’m not sure how much my stories fall on the ‘just porn’ side...

>>17600523
Maybe it is. But I will persevere nonetheless.

I'll do it in baby steps for myself.

>When
Two months after a deadly battle with accursed beings known as blood-drinkers

>Where
In Rose City, the capital city of Rose Kingdom

>Who
Hress Dunter

>Why
Hress is on trial for the murder of the prince because he is the lead suspect.


>In Rose City, the Capital City of Rose Kingdom, two months after a deadly battle with Accursed beings known as blood-drinkers, Hress Dunter is on trial for the murder of the Prince as the lead suspect.

How'd I do boss?

>>17600562
there's no through-line between the deadly battle with accursed beings known as blood-drinkers and the murder of the prince.

>>17600524
It's easy to assume he's in a McDonald's until the last lines.

>>17600620
It's that it hinges on Hress Dunter being a reliable character / narrator of his past (hint: he isn't at all). So the trial goes into that and shows him to be a fraud, but it's also more nuanced than that.

>>17596607
In the 7th grade, I was inspired by maddox to start my own rant site. It was terrible garbage, based on very immature criticisms of the school system and Elliot Rodger-esque manifestos about classmates who were more popular than me. I tried to promote it by writing the URL in sharpie in the boy's room. I then sharpied in glowing praise of myself in slightly different handwriting.
>he's saying what we're thinking!
>holy shit, he's just like maddox
At one point I got ahold of a pink sharpie and offered myself a blowjob in "feminine" handwriting. On the wall of the boy's room stall. I cringe less at those memories than I do at your transparent attempts at self-promotion, Gardner. Get a life.

>>17600629
It's irrelevant whether he's in a McDonald's or in some local deli. The words clown and the prefix mc clearly suggests his appearance

>>17600643
The whole story is absurd. It's easy to assume that yeah, but it's too easily open to other interpretations of what's going on visually.

>>17600562
No good. The story is called "wish mountain". What is the wish mountain? You were on the right track before. The MC is going there, right? That's what the whole story is about, isn't it? It should be, since it's called "wish mountain". Otherwise, it would be very misleading. That's your "where". That's the only "where" that actually matters.

So why must he go there? Apparently, it grants any wish. So what the hell does the trial and the murder of the Prince have to do with it? Is he going to prove his innocence? Or to change his past? That's what readers want to know.

"When" doesn't matter, I said nothing about that.

>>17600632
you're being evasive.

How crucial is a routine for you to be productive?
Do you write at the same time every day, for the same length, or do you just write whenever you feel like it?

>>17600633
>Gardner get a life

Ironic. He’s written 5 books and has several threads about him daily. What have you done with your life? Nothing but seethe over another anons success on an anime image board.
Why are there so many mean spirited people in here? It’s no better than /v.

>>17600553
i don''t remember what stardust was about but i do remember how hard it made me desu

>>17600682
it's good to build a consistent routine

>>17600693
He's also insane enough to talk about himself in the third person like he's Louis XIV or something

>>17600098
Sweet. I can’t wait.

>What is Wish Mountain?

Wish Mountain is a 1000 year old mountain where it is rumoured that whoever reaches the heart of the mountain will receive one all-powerful wish.

>Why must he go there?

After being wrongly convicted of a crime he didn't commit Hress Dunter has to flee to the only safe place left to him: a magical village said to be halfway up Wish Mountain.

>What does the trial have to do with it

His wrong conviction is his motivation for going to Wish Mountain, since he wants to escape the law / bounty hunters.

Also he wants nothing to do with getting the wish for a large part of the story, since he just wants to read Midway Village and be safe there. It is said, but he doesn't know unless he gets there, that the village has magical protection that will keep him safe.

The first episode sets up he has a huge bounty on his head which means nowhere except Wish Mountain is safe for him, even though it is very well known that Wish Mountain is also a perilous place.

>>17600693
Damn. BTFO. Well done.

>>17600756
forgot to link to
>>17600667

>>17600756
Well done, finally it's starting to make sense! Now you can figure out the rest on your own

>>17600742
sad to see more evidence that gardner related psychosis is on the rise. those suffering see him everywhere. in every post. the poor dears.

>>17600819
>Gardner Derangement Syndrome has become a thing on /lit.

>>17600742
It could be worse, he could be John David Card.

>>17600764
Okay thanks for your help genuinely appreciate you taking the time.

>>17600936
That's what these threads are for. Those who actually try and are not above asking help should also get it.

Okay new attempt at a synopsis

>After being wrongly convicted of a crime he didn't commit Hress Dunter has to flee to the only safe place left to him: Midway Village, a magical village where fugitives are safe from bounty hunters and kingdom authorities. However this village is located on a unique country-sized magical mountain called Wish Mountain, where it is said whoever reaches its heart will receive one all-powerful wish. Whilst Hress has no interest in claiming the wish, he does have to face the many life or death perils of the mountain.

Shilling my RR story. 13th chapter down, roughly 38k words. draft is over 200k atm, very close to the end fine tuning the last five or so chapters still. going to be moving to a weekly release, wednesdays.
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/40361/erased

>>17596063
I'm not into prompts all that much, sorry anon. I'm only really wired for my fictions.

>>17596255
I used to obsess over it when I was in my worldbuilding phase years ago. Now I seldom look at it anymore. I think one time an anon pointed out a chapter was chockful of cliche tropes even though it wasn't intentional.

>>17600682
I write a thousand words every other day after I’ve had a good jerk off and bath in the evening. Helps me relax enough to get into my story.

Should I describe a corpse as pretty

>>17602659
Well, do you?

Post the first line from your novel and I'll tell you if I want to read it.

How would the masses feel about an attractive female villain that's mostly into women and only likes special men that interests her (which is only like three like guys through out the story)? Would that be problematic?

>>17602941
can i be the man she is attracted to?

>>17602941
Why would a bisexual woman be problematic?

>>17602953
Well, one of the guys she's attracted to is meant to be the audience's self-insert if that counts.

>>17602941
Straight women also only like "special men that interest them" so sounds legit

>>17602925
>Mister Stinky had farted again, and this time, the President of the United States had had enough of his bullshit.

>>17602941
just say that she's a lesbian faggot
>>17602960
according to freud, that's a lesbian with heterosexual tendacies.

>>17602982
>had had

>>17602925
>“—Momma…! …Momma!—” I put all my strength into shaking her, but it comes to no avail.

>>17602986
No one's dick or pussy is special enough to change someone's sexuality, anyone who claims otherwise just doesn't want to let go of their identity as full homo. It's just bi with a preference

>>17602925
>Oh god oh god oh god, I-I'm gonna do it, oh shit of fuck mommy mommy I'm COOOOOOOMIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGG.

>>17602989
There's nothing wrong with this. It's the past perfect form of "had".

I l33trally do not know how to apply any of the rules of punctuation correctly.
From essential ones like the use of a comma to concepts so rudimental most people seem to intuitively grasp of them like where does a sentence end.

So If anyone here has a link to share or something I could use to better my ways that'd be sweet. Merci.

>>17603032
It may be grammatically correct, but it's awkward and unneeded. The sentence is much easier to read and the meaning is 99 percent identical if you just write 'had' instead of 'had had.'

>>17603084
>but it's awkward and unneeded.
It is neither. I had no problem understanding it the first time I read it.

>>17603152
I had had no problem either.

>>17603172
That implies you're now having a problem.

>>17603180
I am now having a problem.

>>17603152
You realize that there are other people in the world than just you, right?

>>17603203
Yes, but they're wrong when they disagree with me.

>>17603180
It technically doesn't, it's just specifying that it was at a certain point in the past that may or may not apply to right now.

How long are your chapters?

>>17603084
You obviously don't write, so can you tell me what you do do?

>>17603555
Heh, doo doo.

>>17603555
Oh wow, so you're telling me you're published? That's pretty cool. Link me your books. I'd love to see what people it this thread are actually writing.

>>17603575
I was just making a doo doo joke anon please calm down

>>17603594
No. I enjoy being angry.

>>17603533
As long as they need to be

How do I make my main female character stay sympathetic when she's doing more and morally questionable stuff over the course of the writing? Long story short, she had a pretty messed up life, from childhood and early adulthood and she pretty much snaps when her childhood friends almost kill her over a horrible misunderstanding. She's also pretty fucking hot ngl. I want to make it clear that she's became a complete monster that's doing the unexcusable but I want to keep her somewhat sympathetic.

Does anyone have the link to the website that has you copy paragraphs of prose from classic novels? I'm starting to work on a new OP and want to include it. (It won't be ready for a while, since I want to include descriptions of the books recommended, which requires reading them.) Also, if anyone has any other good prose-crafting resources (not story-crafting,) please post them.

>>17603696
She is female, that's sympathetic by default

>>17598347
I agree with the other anon that you should trim a lot of words, it makes it a little difficult to follow what's happening in the scene. I wouldn't cut out all the "pretentious" vocabulary, but try to use it a little more sparingly.
Other than that, the writing is very good. Keep at it my man.

How do I go about marketing my novels for free?
Effectively i mean?
I'm using google books as my platform, have I shot myself in the foot by not going the KDP route?

>>17598347
hell yeah it's good, man.

thoughts on the snowflake method?

>>17598065
Are you satisfied?

>>17600062
based wish mountain hate poster.

I'm floundering near the finish line. My attempts to write aren't turning out the way I want them to and even when I try I'm not able to force it

I swear I’ll get back to writing once I finish infinite jest. I’m already 700 pages through. I swear I’ll be active and posting in these threads again. I promise. ;-;

>>17604767
Force it harder then. Just get it done even if it's crime against literature. Then edit.

Currently I'm trying to figure out how to turn my military sci-fi story into the /k/ fapfic it was meant to be instead of the /pol/ rampage that it has turned into.

>>17604767
based defeatposter

i tried to tell my friends at highschool about the novel im working on but nobody gives a shit, what should i do

how can i enjoy writing knowing there’s people better than me out there and who are a million times more successful

>>17600062
>its just a man we don't know getting put on trial for a crime we don't know
Which part of this is supposed to interest me? The upcoming event you suggest in your intro is a trial, which we hear about before we're told what the associated crime is. A trial with no context sounds boring as shit. If you want to salvage this shit, rewrite the synopsis to tell us something compelling about the protagonist and start linking to that rather than this legless introductory chapter.

>>17604995
Writing is an art. You're not enjoying it because you're probably doing it looking to make money, and you compare yourself to those that are. Take away writing and there are still people out there who are a million times more successful than you.

Is basing all your fantasy terminology off the greeks cringe?

For example an alien race I made that has high intelligence I call Neurontos meaning "Brain being"

>>17605163
We name all our space shit after Greek stuff already so not really

>>17605163
yes. greek and latin are babbie's first choice for coming up with non-english words. It's not a problem if you want your story to have a Greek aesthetic though. In fact you would probably want to borrow Greek words for that purpose. Are your pov characters Greek or inspired by the Greeks?

>>17605171
It is inspired by neo platonism. The alien God is called heno, the multialien civilization is called the pantheon. It Does have some mythology aspects to it as well. I am also kind of lazy Don't feel like creating a new language

>>17598936
>A hot-headed overconfident 12 year old boy
I wouldn't say he's a narcissist, but I guess I can see how the test came to that conclusion. Honestly it's kind of hard to gauge his reaction to these questions since they're all yes/no without much context being applied.

>>17598936
Fuck this is me

>>17598936
I knew the test would interpret her as being paranoid, but that's because the test doesn't take into account the fact that her tribe really does talk shit about her behind her back and really does intend to disown her.

Here's mine. If this is true, probably explains why people don't like me

>>17603533
3k words

>>17605226
then you have your answer little man

>>17605249
>>A hot-headed overconfident 12 year old boy
Anon, please tell me more. I have a story with a 12 year old protagonist as well and sometimes I worry as writing them as too experienced with life, but at the same time not wanting them to be completely oblivious to the world. I think it’s a really interesting intersection of life. How do you overcome this?

>>17603084
So being grammatically correct is "awkward and unneeded"? That explains a great deal about /wg/ in general

>>17597728
If you want to establish a setting, don't make it uselessly long and don't make it clear that you have a fetish for it.

>>17605483
>After reading the post, Anon had had enough of the other Anons bullshit.

>"Lorem ipsum," he said.
>"Lorem ipsum," said Kim.
>"Lorem ipsum," Kim said.
>use all three interchangeably
is it going to be a problem if i don't stick to one?

>>17605562
Yes, you'll get arrested.

>>17598936
Used to be 'High' in every single category except two were moderate 4 years ago. Don't give up anons WAGMI

How do I avoid using he said, she said after every quotation? Does it have to be there after someone says something? Can I put something else?

>>17605849
you don't, it doesn't but it should, and you can but you should have a good reason to do so

>>17605849
If it's just two people talking, you might not need to. With more people, you can try making them talk differently.

I'm really tempted to go all out and write a story that's just completely politically incorrect, makes fun of everyone, races and minorities included, and is all around offensive. Like, there's some fantasy story underneath too, but absolute zero respect in the execution. I don't mean it as a political statement or anything, just dissing in every direction. Think it could have artistic merit?

>>17605893
If the execution is good even someone's rant about everything they dislike can have that.

>>17605893
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNlbvJaLal0

>>17605915
Yeah, I'm thinking it's art

Is it okay that my characters don't know each others names at first? Like, I'll introduce the name of a character, and call him/her by that name throughout the story, but one of the others doesn't know it. That's fine right? Should I leave it like that or should that info be known to the other at some point?

>>17606436
If they don't know, they don't know. Your characters shouldn't know things they don't know.

>>17606453

>>17606480

My short story had 6.2k words, after cutting out the overwritten parts, I now have 4.8k. Feels good /wg/. Might post it on RR, might not. Keep writing.

>>17606666
Megasatan please teach me what overwriting is and why I should care!

>>17605483
In fiction, writing in an appealing way is more important than being correct, yes. I guarantee you that your favorite book has a shitton of grammatical errors in the name of making the prose more natural sounding and easier to read. The following sentence is grammatically correct, for instance. "There are basically two ways to write: with a pen or pencil, which is inexpensive and easily accessible; or by computer and printer, which is more expensive but quick and neat." But that doesn't mean it's a good or well written or appealing sentence.

I don't know why "write something that reads well and sounds good first and grammatically correct second" is such a controversial opinion for fiction writing.

>>17606710
How is it badly written? Because it has a semicolon in it?

>>17606717
Because it's awkward as shit to read thanks to all the stopping and starting and parenthetical phrases. Having four different forms of punctuation in a single sentence generally doesn't make for an easy read. Though since I have a feeling you or someone else will try and take this too far in the other direction, I'm not saying you should never ever use a sentence like that either. It has its place depending on what you're trying to do.

There's a whole term for grammatically correct sentences that are basically riddles for how confusing they are to decipher. Look up garden path sentences to see some more examples of grammatically correct phrases that are incredibly difficult to read and that you should only put in your novel for a specific reason. Here are a couple examples:
The horse raced past the barn fell.
The complex houses married and single soldiers and their families.
And then there's the famous "buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

>>17606767
>Long. Too long. He wrote too long. Can't focus. My feet hurt. Wish Marnie was here.

How the fuck do I do a timeline? Do I HAVE to just use a paper? If so I'll end up using photoshop for it.

>>17606950
You can just use MS Paint lol

>>17606961
Honestly why isn't there a dedicated program for this? There are wiki softwares like zim and Notion, which are amazing and free, and then there are also things like campfire which allow you to take interactive notes on a image, as to create a map, but there just isn't a single comprehensive software that includes everything.

Writing is a multibillion market, and this shit isn't rocket science.

>>17606486
Right but the square root of 2 isn't 2.

>>17606977
Why on earth do you need a dedicated software for something any basic word processor can do?

>>17598040
You can use the pronouns as long as it's clear that that character is who you're talking about or who is speaking. (Although it's nice to sprinkle in when it's not totally necessary, for variety or style purposes). You should always use names when there are multiple people interacting, tho. If Jacoby and Sterling both have guns pointed at eachother and your next sentence is "He shot him.", you need to make it clear who shot who. Either by replacing a pronoun, or by adding some context around the sentence. You can also use nicknames or shortened names, if your characters name can be shortened, and if your style allows for it. But try to give the character that shorter name in world, rather than just you, as the author, calling them by a nick name.
Also, if you want, feel free to ignore everything that I say because I've been "working" on a book for years and it will probably never be finished so my advice, and everything I say, is extraneous

Why is it so much harder to come up with attractive male names than it is to come up with attractive female names?

>>17607199
Maybe you're straight?

>>17607216
I am not.

>>17607199
Girl names are prettier than boy names

Is there a way to mass edit the font of all my chapters on Royal Road? Someone pointed out that my current font is fucked on mobile.

Thick wafts of smoke covered the ceiling, and thinner wisps filled the hall. He could feel the heat rising from the ground, wetting his socks with sweat. The folded shirt Anon was holding over his mouth did little to help him breathe but it was better than nothing. It was no matter anyhow, he had to push forward. Leaving her behind would be a betrayal worse than anything. Wondering how he would be found, if he would be found, he entered the staircase and started climbing. Were he to leave her behind, he'd be as good as dead for the shame would be unbearable. He had to keep moving. Would the building collapse in on him, would he be buried whole or in pieces, would he be charred beyond all recognition? It mattered little, he had to try his utmost to save his loyal companion. He owed her that much atleast. Having arrived at his floor he opened the door. Regret and doubt filled his mind. What if she was dead, already suffocated? What if she had inhaled so much smoke that death was inevitable? He hated himself for not having thought it through, for being too weak to not give in. Hated his parents for making him this way, for giving him those voices they called a gift. The hatred coursing through his veins gave him strength, when a loud cracking sound vibrated the halls. This was it, he knew. No way out, but he could atleast die with her next to him. He pushed forward, finally arriving at his home. Fumbling for his keys he finally got it in and unlocked the door. Immediately she called for him. He could hear the strain in her voice. Anon ran into the room and embraced her with tears on his cheeks. I'm sorry, he said. It was the only way. He knew she didn't understand, be he hoped part of her felt the sincerity in his words. He held her tight, his best friend, and kissed her over and over. I'm sorry, he said again. There was no other way. Fire with fire. I had to extinguish the demon, or else it would have caused even more damage. I'm sorry Lassie, so sorry.
With these last words the exorcist readied himself for the final push, the final fall. Another cracking sound was coursing through the building, even louder than the last, and he knew this was it. The last moments of torment would be gone in an instant. A deep rumbling came as darkness put him to sleep.

What do you think?

>>17607487
I think you can only do it chapter by chapter. Which shouldn't take very long, unless you have a hundred-something chapters

>>17605471
Well, I partially draw from anecdotes from my own childhood, and from people I grew up with. At the same time, I try to imagine the way that a normal 12 year old boy behaves.

My character tries to act grown-up, but has a 12 year old's idea of what that means. He swears a lot, is somewhat perverted, very independent, rarely asks for help, and mainly only consumes "mature" media (Rated R movies, M games, Parental Advisory music, none of that "kiddy shit"). He's insecure about his body and sexuality, and is too afraid to ask his parents and most of his friends about those sorts of things. He's also somewhat impulsive, willing to do anything that sounds fun without thinking too much about the consequences.

I guess just try to think of how you and your peers behaved when you were 12, and use that as a base for what your character should know. Obviously not everyone had the same childhood experiences, so feel free to have some wiggle room.

>>17606977
> I HAVE to have a dedicated software for a fucking line with dates

>>17607930
I don't have to, but it would be useful
>papers have edges so are not suitable for either detailed or long timelines
>software can have page linking
>digital can be backed up
>digital can be easily edited
It's just useful and boosts productivity

>>17607087
The point of horizontal timelines is to help visualize things

I've gotten carried away and started adding humorous poetry into my novel.

>>17604417
It's stupid. Try Writing Into the Dark instead. Dean Wesley Smith.

>~50k words in to a novel and the plot is only actually getting into the main stage now
Is there a setting to omit particle words from a count in openoffice because I feel like this is a bit misleading.

>>17608627
Particle words are always counted in total wordcounts

>>17608661
Fuck

>>17608627
Your story should be however long it needs to be, whether that's five thousand, fifty thousand, or five hundred thousand.

>>17608691
>at the current rate of average words per chapter the story will be at least 240k words
>pretty unlikely that editing will cut the wordcount significantly
Well I guess it's a good thing I always planned to go with digital self-publishing because there isn't a sane publishing company on earth who would take a risk on a first novel that long.

"Let GO of me!" Jeffy growled, stomping a foot and huffing. "You are just
the WORST friend ever! Why would you, like, trick me into drinking stuff
that makes me so yummy and cute and sexy and pretty!" He scowled,
reaching up and grabbing his long, bouncy hair. "I was fine! I was gonna
be a big sexy meaty male!" He felt an itching in his loins. Sitting up on
a virile meaty male's lap right now sounded really fun. Like Judas, his
erection betrayed him for the mental image, as he felt his cock
stiffening as he pointed a finger into Tiny's chest. "I don't... WANT...
to just be some big male's sex kitten! To be bent over and fucked as I
mewl in bliss, letting him smack my pillowy ass while I feel my whole
body bounce against the force of his rutting-" Jeffrey paused a moment to
huff at that thought. It was hard to focus on what he was saying with his
cock throbbing against his underwear, wetting his boxers with precum. Why
was he in such butch clothes, anyway? Tugging at his hair, he just teared
up and stomped against the floor again. "You are bein' so mean to me,
nya!"

At this, Tiny arched an eyebrow. "Did you just literally SAY 'nya'?" He
folded his paws, letting go of Jeffery. "Like, that weirdo japanese sound
anime cats make?" The twinky, slender mouse narrowed his eyes at Jeffrey.
"That alone makes me suspect-" He just rolled his eyes and slapped a paw
against his face, before putting both paws on Jeffrey's shoulders.

Jeffery blinked. "What's the Siss-T club?"

With a dismissive wave of his fuzzy pink paw, Tiny rolled his eyes. "Just
a bunch of bois who realized we're each better off as pretty girly
fairies. Now quit changing the subject!" He giggled. "Anyway, you meet up
with us and go out for a makeover: Clothes shopping, a mani-pedi, boy
watching, the works. My treat, I pay for everything" Tiny squeaked, his
cock hardening in his crotch before Jeffery's eyes. "We'll see if you
have more fun as a sissy-boy than you ever did as a big sweaty man."
Holding his paws out to either side of him, Tiny shrugged. "If you decide
at the end of the day you want to go back to being straight? We let the
matter drop, and I just stay your sassy gay friend. But if you decide
you'd rather stay in panties and spandex and skirts? Then you take the
plunge. My Siss-T friends and I set you up with your first deep dicking
and enough Sisselixer to banish those silly straight thoughts for good."
Tiny licked his lips. "Sound fun to you?"

>>17608691
>>17608715

Need is a very ambiguous term. No story strictly needs to be anything, and most that go over the 100k milestone really struggle to justify their length. At that point, you should start asking yourself (especially in the case of your first work) if it's really worth the time and effort. In most cases, it's not. There is probably a lot of content you can cut that's not strictly necessary to deliver the main idea (if there is any).

>>17608857
Post more.

>>17596452
I wish today's internet wasn't so image and video oriented.
I can't think of a good place to host my writings where people can find them without geting band later for dumb reasons. I'm form /g/ and a strong believer in the "fediverse" so I'm very close to copying Luke Smith and hoisting my own social media.

>>17607969
I do all my writing in Emacs starting with a outline in org-mode (that I write as a green text.)
I don't see why you could not write a timeline in org, it's one of the best parts of Emacs and is easy to learn.

How do I become successful like Gardner?

>>17610592
You don't.

>>17610592
Ask him yourself. Apparently everyone on here is in a discord chat with him.

>>17610657
I'm not

>>17610592
you must first master the body, before you master the mind. gardner is an avid martial arts enthusiast.

>>17610688
I’m not either. But I know about it. I think you have to be invited.

I have a mystery box sort of situation I've walked into in that my protagonist got to a closed vault. I knew what was in the vault while he was going there, but now I'm second-guessing whether or not I picked the right thing. I'm wondering whether I should skip the scene and write something that would be dependant on it, or just write on with the original plan.

I'm taking this writing course taught by neil gaiman and he says that inspiration comes from defamiliarization and confluenece. one can't create by compartmentalizing. You need to be able to digest convention holdig ideas together and see them not as a whole, but different arrangements of pieces that look like something else when separated. I understand this on a conscious level, but I don't know where to look. it seems to me that that disassembly has already been used up

This is chapter one of the short story I'm working on. Not entirely sure about this one; I'd appreciate some opinions.
https://pastebin.com/1th3d2M2

>>17610726
>inspiration comes from defamiliarization and confluenece. one can't create by compartmentalizing
I'm not going to 100% pretend I know exactly what that means, but from what I think it means, I don't agree with that at all. Inspiration can come from all sorts of sources.

>>17610726
why are you concerned with writing fiction when you can't even contribute a comprehensible post? do you read what you write before you hit send?

>>17610968
>>17610976

to translate what I thought was a perfectly lucid statement:

inspiration comes from two things: mixing things together and taking things apart. You can't create by taking something entirely at face value. This is something I understand well enough, but I feel like I've done that to everything, or at least seen it done to everything. I'm not getting inspiration from doing something I've already done

sffg has been shitting itself the past two days, so I'll ask here too. What are some lesser known mythological beasts I can turn into cute monster girls? There's a lot of good stuff in celtic folklore like selkies, but I know nothing about Chinese mythology. Are there any good monsters from Africa? What about Australia/New Zealand/Oceania?

>>17611319
Jersey Devil and Mothman.
North American folklore monsters always get the short straw.

>>17611319
you better thank me for this

Bunyip, Rainbow Serpent

>>17611319
a nuckelavee monster girl might be interesting. Attack on Titan has proven that a skinless woman can be a waifu

https://pastebin.com/v86NHAKN

How's my prose? Quick 30 second read.

>>17611247
>inspiration comes from two things: mixing things together and taking things apart.
Ok. I'll reiterate. No, that is not correct. You're hamstringing yourself if you believe that inspiration comes only from deconstruction and miscegenation. That you believe that to be the case is vile, and probably the source of your block.

>>17611456
Is this My Little Pony fanfiction

>>17611480
It could be....

>>17611470
okay schizo

>>17611470
Not him but are you trying to make the case that you can somehow imagine something you never had prior knowledge of?

>>17611609
>muh hairsplitting kantian bullshit
Imagine trying to stealthily bait people about this on an anonymous imageboard for attention.

>>17611676
? It was a legitimate question. I cannot imagine a color I never saw, or an animal I never saw, read about. Can you?

>>17611609
No. Imagining impossible things is not the same thing as inspiration. Inspiration leads to construction. Imagining this or that as the result of a fever dream may lead to nothing whatsoever.
Further, sitting on a fogbanked lake in the early morning while smoking a cigarette and fishing may lead to inspiration that is in no way directly connected to the lake, the fog, the cigarette or the fish. But the peace and well being of that situation may be the inspiration that leads to something else. Not merely smashing two concepts together to see how they bounce or wrenching them apart to see how they flail.

>>17604991
The vast majority of people won't give a shit and most of those who claim to will only give your work a glance before the excuses start pouring in. Oh, I was too busy this weak to read it. Sorry, I'm such a slow reader tee hee.

Anyways writing is a lonely journey. If your family is supportive you are already blessed.

>>17604991
Keep working on it but stop trying to tell people about it, that's cringe af. You tell people about it after it's written and published.

>>17597573
“Would” is hypothetical and conditional.

They “would” see IF a condition is met.

“Could” is definite and absolute.

They could see it, clear as day.

>>17598040
Trust your gut and write whatever feels natural.

Leave it a while. Forget what you wrote.

Then re-read it and edit the bits that don’t make sense.

You’re overthinking it.

>>17611319
You might want to look into some Jewish shit too. Ziz comes to mind.

>>17598040
Pick up a book that you have enjoyed immensely, and study how the author does it.

>>17612202
I'm pretty sure golems and nephilim are all you're going to get out of judaism. we don't have a lot of unique mythical creatures

>>17611724
>Imagining impossible things
Not what I said. I said "things you had no prior knowledge of". Ultraviolet and infrared exist, we cannot see them, can you imagine them? Do you think someone could imagine an elephant without ever seeing one or any animal with a tusk? The answer is yes but it involves working with concepts that come from other visual concepts that the person must have knowledge of.

Furthermore, just because you didn't consciously took something apart and mixed parts of it with parts of something else, it doesn't mean your subconscious didn't do that.

Aspiring porn author here again. I know people don't like used goods, but does that apply to girl on girl encounters as well?

>>17612637
No. Nobody cares if the girl has ex-partners.

>>17613020
generalization

>>17613020
There's a pretty large portion of males on the internet that think any non-virgin woman is a whore, and I'm pretty sure that's the same group that buys porn novels.

>>17613176
I’m pretty sure it’s got a name for that.

>>17613255
Religion?

I wrote a fun little action scene tonight. 1700 words for a scene seems a bit long, but it felt nice to let my protagonist swing a big stick and run around. Now I have to go back to some more internal conflict for a bit and I'm not looking forward to it.

>>17600261
Unironically the best writing itt

>>17609225
its not mine. i found it on fictionmania. i just take parts of random stories from time to time and post them here.

>>17613264
Madonna-whore complex.

>>17613436
this psychological complex is said to develop in men who see women as either saintly Madonnas or debased prostitutes. Men with this complex desire a sexual partner who has been degraded (the whore) while they cannot desire the respected partner (the Madonna). Freud wrote: "Where such men love they have no desire and where they desire they cannot love." Clinical psychologist Uwe Hartmann, writing in 2009, stated that the complex "is still highly prevalent in today's patients"

>>17613423
That’s plagiarism.

/wg/, I've got some major writer's block for the stupidest reason possible. I need to write a scene where a character is having a mental breakdown because her screw-ups have made her lose faith in her own intelligence. It was supposed to be drawn from my own personal insecurities, but I don't have those insecurities at the moment and can't even get into a state of mind where I have them

>>17613681
Just write and stop looking for an excuse.

>>17611456
>so bright it was, it seemed almost daytime
The “it was” here seemed unnecessary.
Personally I also don’t think you should just say Corpse was, “playing the fool,” since it feels like telling rather than showing.
The scene where Dazzle insults Corpse was way too short as well. In only a few sentences they go from joking around like friends to her insulting his appearance and telling him not to touch her. This feels like the start of a story so I would spend some more time on it.
The “fucking me in the ass” part got a chuckle out of me just because of how specific the hypothetical scenario was. Keep at it anon, sounds like an interesting story.

>>17613486
Sounds like incels.

>>17613691
it's really not easy. I've lost momentum and it's hard to build it back up. I'm thinking of writing other stuff just to build up momentum for the final push

>>17613961
Stop looking for excuses to not write and just write.

>>17613966
I'm not looking for excuses

>>17613969
Then write the scene where a character is having a mental breakdown.

>>17613321
>I'm not looking forward to it.
Why not?

>>17613925
No, it’s the fact that men don’t want to treat the women they deeply care about like an all purpose sex toy the way they would treat a woman they see no future with. Basically they don’t want to use her to experiment with weird fetishes or unleash their full libido. This sounds like a “complex” until you realize plenty of guys want to be sonic the hedgehog having sex in a diaper or to urinate on women so maybe it’s best they don’t put their wife through all of that. It’s like how Armie Hammer never told his wife that he wanted to cut off her big toe and keep it in his pocket or roast her alive and eat her. He saved all that “pillow talk” for his mistresses and random, confused, and traumatized roasties he chatted with online.

>>17614107
Sounds like major cope, anon.

>>17614190
Okay, is this some sort of Magic Realism? Low-key scifi?

>>17614240
YA novel about two housecats that solve a chain of catnappings. This is from the end where the neighborhood dog leads the stray cat colony after the scent a cat left behind, so they can rescue them. Only a couple scenes in the book are written from a human perspective, the rest are from cats. I just wanted to share this particular scene but I guess I should have included some context

>>17614248
Oh, no problem, I was kinda taken aback, but thanks for clarifying. And YA? Good luck, but I doubt you'll get help here, /wg/ and /lit/ hates YA.

I am going to write a YA that even /lit/ and /wg/ will agree is kind of okay at least.

>>17600261
Is this the new Brook’s?

>>17614261
Thanks I'm just trying to practice putting myself out there!

>>17614274
Well, good luck, are you going for the self-publishing route or the traditional route.

>>17614284
Trad. This is my second book and I like it a lot more than my first. I figure I'll shoot my shot again and try to find an agent. If that doesnt work I'll just keep writing books until it does or I give up and self pub

>>17614289
>he already has a book
>is still here
None us are ever making it out of here, are we?

>>17614289
Well, good luck in getting publishing, and it's good that you're keeping the alternatives open. Royal Road would help you financially if you decided to ask for donations.

>>17614295
Ive always read that the first couple books suck. My first took me five years, this one took me two months. Expecting to start another in a couple of weeks, and hopefully that will only take a couple of months. (Last two were 50k words).
I figure I better just keep writing books until one hits because the market does weird things, what agents are looking for changes. If a book does get picked up, its likely they'll ask what else I have stored away.
I don't want to self publish because what's the point aside from selling a few copies to friends and family for asspats

>>17614299
Thanks! I just post for free online right now for friends/family/other writers to read but I've heard of RR. I'll look into it more. I don't really care about the donations but it would be nice to have an audience of some sort and get the stories out there

Royal Road app finally when? I heard that monetization could come with it.

>tfw a ngmi who writes less than 100~ words a month
>seen golden opportunity in RR for years
>people are starting to open their eyes to it
I don't like seeing the competition start drumming up
I can't even be bitter because it's my fault for not getting ahead of the curve

>>17614350
stop self pitying and get to work anon

Ywriter is the best free writing software.
What do you use? How do you keep your thousands of words organized? I've used ywriter for 6 years now. None of the expensive programs have shown me enough features to compell me to buy them.

>>17614381
>>17614381
>>17614381

new

>>17614350
I started posting there over three years ago, and it was a lot more quiet back then. I only got most of my followers over the past year or so. There's more "competition", I guess, but also a lot more readers, so I think growth is mostly only a good thing.