/lit/ - Literature

real jobs are coming back

you have <3 months to get your writing career off the ground

>>16926743
>you have <3 months
aww thanks Anon <3 u too

Hello. I'm serializing a book I wrote. I just put up chapter 2. It's a post apocalyptic western about a train going through the desert. Thank you.
https://awfiction.wordpress.com/2020/12/01/682/

How do I beat apathy bros

3kb of text per day

>>16926743
Tomorrow I will receive a phone call from the unemployment offices. For every open job in my country there are 12 people without a job. Covid has closed down every single place I'm qualified and trained to work at. My future is uncertain.
Maybe I should write about this. There was a guy who became famous for raking in unemployment benefits, refusing to accept jobs offered and then wrote a book about it. He is now a novelist with two books.
If he can, maybe I can too.

>>16926743
I already took a job. Barely been writing but thats because I need the libraries to open back up (its difficult to work from home).

>>16926844
You're welcome!

>>16926739
Looks like Costco. Nice of them to give out a 10 cent banana each considering their throw out thousands of dollars of produce and baked goods every evening.

“My spell has worked!” said Van Hassain, clapping his hands.
Lupita smiled underneath her crown of South African geranium, while wearing a necklace of South African geranium, in a bed that was decorated with geranium flowers and next to a window edged with geranium leaves. There were more geranium flowers scattered on the tables and chairs. The room was a sea of somewhat wilted green and purple. Even Dr. Seward held a bouquet of the South African flowers.
“Oh, Professor! Jabari have been very good and have done exactly as you asked.”
“With no complaining at all from Miss Lupita,” added Jabari.
He winked at his patient.

Van Hassain abruptly turned to his former student.
“I fear the situation is more serious than I previously thought. I must go see some colleagues in Eastern Europe. Continue my treatment as before.”
“What? No, I don’t want these flowers in my room anymore,” said Lupita. “They smell weird.”
“I do not do these things in jest, Miss Westenra,” said Van Hassain. “It is for the sake of your life that you do exactly as I tell you.”
Lupita’s bottom lip quivered, and her eyes moistened.
“There, there, miss,” said Van Hassain with a softened tone. “These flowers may seem silly and an old folk remedy, but you must humor an old man. Can I see a smile? Yes, yes, just like that. Now you look so pretty. It is only for that lovely smile that we do the things we do. Will you promise to keep up the flower treatment?”
“Oh, I promise!” said Lupita. “You both are so kind to take care of me so. I am so lucky to have met you two in Whitby.”
Grabbing Moesha’s letter and his suitcase, Van Hassain walked out the door. He turned to Jabari and motioned for him to come outside and close the door.
“Unfortunately, I must travel again. I will send another shipment of the South African geranium,” whispered Van Hassain. “You must ensure compliance from Miss Westenra. She will be resistant.”
“Yes,” replied Jabari. “I will do everything in my power.”

oh boy, that's pretty good

https://iwl.me/

>>16926743
I've been an essential worker all through this pandemic. Only really took 2 weeks off this whole pandemic.

>>16929018

>>16929018
yay I like HG Wells
Although maybe the site just doesn't have a "you write like a retard" result

Autist here, what full-time jobs are low-key that don't burn you out? Is a receptionist job worth pursuing?

I work as a teacher and private tutor. That shit burns you out like you wouldn’t believe. I’m thinking of going back to menial work so I can have more time to finish my book series.

>>16929152
I got Agatha Christie too. I wish they'd explain their metrics and what they consider the unique styles.

>>16929291
I wonder if she's just the "you write like a retard" catch-all result since I did a different excerpt and got the same result a few weeks ago.

>search the man vs types of conflicts in literature
>pages now use person vs instead of man vs
getting real tired of this shit

based

>Was a retarded 16 year old
>At the time, just started writing a year ago at 15
>Was bored as fuck, so I put the worst book ever written on Amazon KDP (lied about everything but my name)
>I totally forget about it
>occasionally get 20 cent deposits into my bank account for years
>suddenly decide I want to write again and I actually start giving a fuck, leave the depressed emo angst phase of my youth
>1.5 stars on amazon
>1 star on goodreads
>my name is ruined
holy fuck

>>16929483
why don't you change your name somewhat. Like instead of Michael Bolton, you could go by Mike

>>16929191
Go into anything that has minimum contact with humans.
Also programming, you'll have to work and communicate with others but they won't bat an eyelash if you're a complete sperg so long as you know how to code.

Here's a short story I wrote the other day. Title is "It's always ourselves that we find in the sea"

Joe walked to the sea. He didn't have much to live for. Parents-dead, wife-cheating, children-aborted, job-lost. He lived a thoroughly mediocre life, but considering that he lived just a few blocks away from the seashore, he didn't want to pass on the opportunity to make his own death a bit less prosaic.
When he reached the water, the pale wet sand below his shoes, he decided to stop for a minute and appreciate nature, as those poets he pretended to read in high school to (unsuccessfully) impress girls supposedly did. His pathetic attempts are transcendence were however shortly interrupted.
A body washed ashore. With hesitation, Joe approached it. It was him. It really was, same clothes, same face, same bald spot, even the same birthmark on the nose. The only difference was that the body was pale and a bit bloated. Joe didn't like what he was seeing. He looked on the dead man and doubted that a death like this could be considered poetic. It smelled quite badly too. Did he really want to turn into this? For the first time, he started calculating the pros and cons of such epilogue.
A second body washed ashore. It was him, but this time with a septum ring. Joe caught himself thinking that perhaps having stooped so low, (piercing your nose for such a thing!) suicide was perhaps a wise solution. He then realized that perhaps such an aversion to adventure and risk was what lead him to such an unsatisfactory existence. This thought however disappeared once he remembered that the version of him that did take such risks also lay dead on the sand, much like the version that apparently did not.
A third body washed ashore. It was also Joe, but completely bald.
"Now this one was definitely justified!" thought Joe, for a second feeling really grateful that he didn't start balding earlier.
A fourth body arrived. This one just had a birthmark on a different part of the nose. Joe didn't give this one much thought.
As he sat on the wet sand, surrounded by four soon-to-be rotting corpses of himself, he thought about what was he to do. This death wasn't all that pretty as he thought it was. But what else was left? Could years of therapy erase this terrible sight from his conscience? Could he just live with it? The answer was negative. And besides, now that he thinks about it, all the other methods are no less unpleasant.
Joe stood up.
"Aye" he said, once again trying to be dramatic "perhaps this is indeed my fate"
As he got chest deep into the water he turned around to peek one last time at what he left behind.
He saw himself approach the shore.

>>16929496
yeah, that's true, friend, it just hurts

Give feedback on my philosophic essay please.

>>16929565
smoking pot isn't a personality trait

>>16929565
>dude weed lmao
>the .jpg
saved

>>16929565
Bait

>>16926739
Many fail to write a book, many succeed but then fail at publishing it.

Do people think that their 9-5 is the only thing stopping them writing? I ask because I have been writing a book at about 1k words per day, alongside a job, and I wonder whether the assertion that a job should be a barrier to writing implies that I'm some kind of Ubermensch destined for great things. It seems that either that is the case or most people writing on lit because they aren't at work are deluding themselves.

>>16929501
I don't mind working with people. A service job that allows autopilot on social interactions is more what I'm looking for.

>>16929565
>>>/pol/294294365

>>16929863
I'll never reply to anyone here asking to critique their work because it's always a fucking bait

>>16930162
Mine here >>16929513 is just a regular short story. Please, I need the feedback.

Guys,I have sole sport pieces I’ve written. Is this the best place to post them?

>>16929824
Try thinking about others as not you, with their own lives that are entirely different from yours. Some people work long hours, some people are depressed, some people have social lives. The majority of people write while they have a job because in most cases writing doesn't pay well enough to do it full time comfortably. Also, most people only write an hour or two every day so it doesn't require a ton of time either. You are absolutely normal and only feel potentially greater because most people on /lit/ are either jobless (which makes writing hard because you obsess over it) or are just, like most people who say they write, wishful thinkers who like to larp as potentially "having a book in them" without writing more than a few pages a year, if that.

>>16930362
Some short pieces*

Does anyone have the problem of being able to write really good individual lines and descriptions, but are unable to write a cohesive story / novel? It's like a lack of direction.

>>16930257
>>16929513
>Parents-dead, wife-cheating
I'd probably go
>Parents: dead. Wife: cheating etc.

>attempts are transcendence
AT transcendence

>he looked on
looked at

>(piercing your nose for such a thing!)
????

>an aversion to adventure and risk
took me a while to realize what it was referencing, having a piercing isn't really adventurous.

>This thought however disappeared once he remembered that the version of him that did take such risks also lay dead on the sand, much like the version that apparently did not.
This all happened a handful of sentences ago, it's a bit redundant.

>soon-to-be rotting corpses
technically they're rotting already if they're bloated but whatever

>Joe didn't give this one much thought.
Neither will the reader, there's no reason to point this out, it only slows the pace down

>This death wasn't all that pretty as he thought it was
Either "all that pretty" or "as pretty as he thought it was" not both

>The answer was negative
"He couldn't" or simply "No." Would be more elegant.

>He saw himself approach the shore.
good ending stinger but perhaps could be built a bit more. Perhaps it takes him a while to recognize the men, or maybe he only sees himself once he's regretting his suicide. Maybe you could describe his death in some more details (Also drowning yourself isn't easy but it's fine for this story)

If I had to give you a single thing to improve it would be your vocabulary.
Sentences like "It smelled quite badly too": Corpses don't smell quite badly. They're foul, nauseating, unbearable. You're describing an horrifying scene yet it reads like he's a stock up guy smelling leftovers.
The pacing also needs some work, just trim down some sentences.

Hey lit here is my suicide note. Wanted to know if I should just throw it out. Its pretentious without good reason, but that fits my personality.
1/2

A storage box is sought after only to be filled and stashed away. It is nothing more than empty air, potential in a tangible form. When filled, it ceases to be and morphs into a collection. Worthless curiosities, childhood memories, belongings of a deceased relative, and all other collections that belong in the garbage but are commonly found in attics, basements, or garages. Despite being nothing more than wastes of space, these sentimental tokens are often arranged carefully and aesthetically. Thematically driven by a centerpiece, collections derive their beauty from efficient use of supporting items.

I have decided on the centerpiece for my box. Ownership of the box was appointed by circumstance. Not that I would prefer a different box, but its contents are not sought after. The furniture is plain and rundown, the paint is boring, almost bureaucratic, and the centerpiece is nothing special. Aesthetic creation seems to be a daunting task given the components, but a small tweak to the centerpiece should make it memorable. All I need is some rope.

Thursdays at three in the afternoon I take a forty-minute bus ride to the closest Walmart for groceries. It’s the final stop of the loop. The bus passes other smaller, local, presumably viable grocery stores that I have never been to. There are eighteen items on my list. Ten minutes pass and I load my cart with whatever Samuel Adams flavor catches my eye and spend half an hour wondering the store as I wait for the bus. Eventually I make my way to the crafts and tools corner of the store. I browse the small section of rope on display as if I am thinking of making a purchase. I don’t take any. I check out ten minutes before the bus comes. Why plan a week’s worth of consumption before hanging myself. It would be a thirty-minute trip by car, but three hours pass before I return home.

>>16930457
Thanks man, really appreciate it.

>>16930594
2/2
The sincerity in the act of aesthetic production is as important as the act itself. No one shops at a superstore with a single purpose or goal in mind. Your intentions cannot be honest with your head cluttered with uncertain and half-baked aims. If my true intention is to go through with it, I would not be planning to eat the day after the event. The final act must be planned in excruciating detail or impulsively done without regard. Every action must be done towards my end. A store that sold a single piece of rope just long enough, strong enough, and specially priced for my means would be ideal. I’ll settle for a home depot.

On the day decided I will leave my apartment with a clear goal in mind. I will board a bus I’ve never been on to a store I never go to. As for the rope itself, I will know it when I see it. The color must fit the surroundings to support the centerpiece. A vibrant color would stick out too much and a pure white implies a sterile environment. I am far from sterile. A beige or grey would be best. Off white enough to betray my simplistic intentions with enough color to reveal a personality. Thick enough to hold my weight and, of course, American made.

All that is left is the final performance. What I wear is inconsequential. Anything will do, maybe I’ll use whatever I went to sleep in the night prior. I do not need witnesses. I do not care for those who will stumble upon the aftermath be it a minute or years later.

The final act is nothing more than a final struggle towards an aesthetic life. A student of beauty holding a desperate cram session in a futile attempt to shoehorn an aesthetic element in a life devoid of such things. A life devoted to conformity through the contrarian, a life so lacking in the sincere it found refuge in ironic detachment. A gift twisted by neglect into a revolting form. It begs for and deserves animosity from all who bear witness. I cannot do anything different. My soul pleads for redemption, but I can only give it mercy. I will set it free.

>>16930594
The switch to present is kinda gay

>>16930605
>2 more paragraphs about buying the rope
Nigger nobody cares.

>What I wear is inconsequential
If you're going for aesthetics I suggest you wear brown pants because you will shit yourself after you die.
A diaper would be ideal lmao.

But yeah it is a shit suicide note.
Nobody cares about the specifics of your death except you.
Just list off the reasons why you're killing yourself, apologize to who deserves it and maybe try to point out what went wrong in your life.
Personally I'd go for a mini autobiography, a last ditch effort to have people remember you.
But this shit sucks I forbid you from hanging yourself until you write something better.

>>16929152
Grocery store stocker or restaurant waiter?

>>16929297
>since I did a different excerpt and got the same result a few weeks ago.
Hey maybe that's a sign that you really do write like Agatha Christie

>>16930778
I also got Agatha Christie. It seems like the longer the passage, the more likely it is that you're be tagged as her.

>>16930763
Fast-food, usually handle cash at the window.

>>16930844
thank you for your service

>>16930844
I worked grills before it sucked.

Off-topic but, anyone knows if working at a supermarket is better? It's all I can find right now and I'm actually dreading the idea.

>You know what I like about pornography Clive and Harris? Its a representation which informs the real. Think about it. Porn used to be for people not having sex who wanted to get off. It was a representation of a sexual encounter but now people have sex to realize what they saw in pornography. A young man having sex for the first time already has neurotic expectations and fetishes from pornography and the rest of his sexual life will be gaining new ones and trying to realize them usually unsuccessfully. The sexual imagination is authored by a few upstanding pornographers. Mindgeek owns a majority market share of porn sites so if they suffer some kind of terrorist attack and the sites go down I’ll be relying on my own soft brain to remember the details of my sexuallity and I’ll only have real encounters to re enforce it. The images of college girls getting fucked in the ass by jaded porno demon men, pulling the girls hair and making her cry. The cartoon depictions of custer scalping raped indian women, will I even remember it if the servers tip. Can this old brain cast in gristle floating in mucus populated by the same tangled sea monkeys in our drinking water bear such a burdon. So I pray. Not to some sky fairy or spaghetti monster AHAHAHAHAHA no I pray to the server racks. You’ve probably looked at me and realized that I am fond of indulgence or fondue of indulgence AHAHAHAHAHA and a side of gummy bug candy and a tall strawberry milk AHAHAHAH. The pleasures of the flesh are important to me. My flesh is actually rotting off my bones, turning purple, growing patches of bumpy owies and pus filled big bumpies OUCH FOOT HURT BRAIN HURT BRAIN HURT ME!

>>16930749
Thanks for the reply

>>16931667
Find someone to talk to, Anon.
Suicide is gay.

>took 3 fucking years to turn my novel idea into a workable plot
>2 more years to get it to the 75% of the first draft
>burned out on the story and writing in general before I even hit the 25% mark
>still no idea what the sequel is going to be about
>tfw this was supposed to be a 4-book series

I've failed, haven't I?

>>16932704
>still no idea what the sequel is going to be about
>tfw this was supposed to be a 4-book series
Why the fuck was it supposed to be a series, then?
>took 3 fucking years to turn my novel idea into a workable plot
>2 more years to get it to the 75% of the first draft
How much of this was routine work?

>>16930886
there's probably more walking, bending, and lifting, so go easy on your back

>>16929483
You can change the author's name in Amazon after you publish it. Something similar happened to me, I translated a play from Spanish to English after spending some months in Duolingo "learning" spanish. Not sure about goodreads though.
>>16932704
Why the fuck did you planned to write 4 fucking books withouth even writing the first one? First of all, probably the whole plot could fit in just one normal sized book, maybe a little more than 50k words. Second, are you a newfag in writing?

>>16932709
>Why the fuck was it supposed to be a series, then?

I know the broadest strokes but turning a background event, an ending and a handful of imagined scenes into a workable story isn't trivial

>How much of this was routine work?
not sure what you mean. those three years were three years of near-constant obsession over the story. the two years (actually half a year and a year and a half nonconsecutively) were writing almost every night

>>16932717
>Why the fuck did you planned to write 4 fucking books withouth even writing the first one? First of all, probably the whole plot could fit in just one normal sized book, maybe a little more than 50k words. Second, are you a newfag in writing?
The first book is a self-contained story currently at 143k words. This is my second novel

>>16932717
You can change title, subtitle, and author name anytime for ebooks, but once you publish something as a physical book, those things are locked in. I would say that there's no way to change it, but maybe if you knew someone high enough on the chain, you could change it. For example, Donald Trump's son made a grammar error in the subtitle of his self-published physical book, but he got it changed. He may have simply purchased a new ISBN and shifted the pre-orders to the corrected book though

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/jul/29/donald-trump-jr-book-liberal-privilege-grammar

>>16929496
Why should i change? He’s the one who sucks.

>>16929824
I work full time and have finished a 70k word book in around 1,5 years. Wasn’t even that much of a hustle. You are not a genius and neither am i. Focus on what important to you rather than seek the approval of randoms on the internet. Get your book published (self or through a house) but dont just jerk off at the thought of being an übermensch. It doesn’t lead anywhere and most peobably you will be disappointed.

>>16929018
What did they mean by this

>>16929152
I got Agatha Christie too. This is weird.

>>16933093
Your endings suck, mate

>>16929018
>>16929152
>>16929162
>>16933093
Fuck off with this dumb shit. There's already another thread for it >>16918795

>>16933286

Lul

It's so hard to write when you're sad

>>16933719
Dunno but I feel you

>>16933719
Use sad as fuel.

apart from laziness, why would you write poetry over a novel?

It was a mistake to join a book club. Every month, I have to read a shitty ass book. Even traditionally published books are 95% shit and the other 4% are ok-semi-good

>>16934017
Unjoin pussycat.

>>16923143
i think this was surprisingly enjoyable

>>16934043
It's a real life book club, although now it's held via Zoom. It's also my only form of socialization, besides my parents

>>16930381
i do, even though they're not necessarily good. this is because i'm not creative and that makes coming up with a good plot difficult.

>>16934068
suggest a good book then

>>16934171
how do normies find new books to read? BN.com and scroll around the new releases?

>>16929018
>copy/pasted a wikipedia article
>"Dan Brown"
lol

>>16930594
>>16930605
Imagine posting your suicide note for critique
Just fucking do it you pussy. Who cares what you leave behind? Nobody, that's why you're gonna do this

>>16932704
>>took 3 fucking years to turn my novel idea into a workable plot
>>2 more years to get it to the 75% of the first draft
This is what happens when you take the "lol just write when you feel like bro" approach. You end up spending years working on something that's probably shit.

Honestly I should have never come here. I aperrantly forgot why is stopped drawing. I though I could post my story here and get a bit of advice on it, but my story seems to be the most horrendous shit. Everytime I try to improve myself somewhere or get critqued it just drains all my will do continue. NowI haven't written for months and I am thinking about quitting. I should have just kept writting for fun, for myself. Why do I do this to myself?

>>16926936
Develop emotions and empathy for others.
Again I say, start with self love/care.
Make your purpose in life.

>>16930605
>bus I’ve never been on to a store I never go to
I liked this. The contrast between the walmart bus and this was a nice tie in.
I also liked your opening line. Drew me in. The rest of the paragraph needs to excite more, though.
The rest though? It's mediocre. If it's your final letter, I'm sure you can put more effort in. It's long without reason.
If you take the tie in of the known and unknown buses and extend that concept to the rest of your letter, I think that would be nice. Split it into two halves and have them mirror eachother.
E.g.
KNOWN box, groceries, bus, sleep
UNKNOWN box, groceries, bus, sleep

It'd give me a reason to finish the letter rather than skim the second half.

Hey does anyone here do any writing beyond prose and poetry? I'm working on an essay/piece of non-fiction/article right now about Disney World, complete with links, studies, and a dissection of "Disney Magic."

Kind of a piece of long-form journalims.

This is my lead/intro graf. Any thoughts?

>>16934851
*Journalism

Jesus I'm not off to a great start

>>16934851
reads like any other medium article, good yob

>>16934876
Tbh that's kind of the feeling I was going for. Maybe I could post it on Medium like a good s*y boy

how do I make this less trash? looking to apply for creative writing modules at some point so I gotta improov

I can't believe this got traditionally published. It's like a preteen girl from FanFiction.net wrote this

>>16934929
btw, this is a story about a wh*te woman who cheated on her ginger husband with a nigger. She's 8 months pregnant

>>16926844

I just put up chapter 3.

https://awfiction.wordpress.com/2020/12/03/engine-zero-zero-chapter-3/

145 pages done with Blackula

>>16935077

i like this. it has a "the road"-y vibe to it but there's nothing wrong with that. I like your dialogue and efficient descriptions of things. I might just keep readin if you just keep remindin us on here.

>>16934929
>>16934950
A lot wittier and better written than anything posted in these threads

>>16935383
Well a shame it's so shit then.

>>16934797
Not the OP, but this is solid health advice.

God bless you, anon.

>>16934769
this is exactly the point where you know exactly what to do. now you can focus on what is bad and write the same thing without the bad. edit out the bad bulk. focus on the intended effect and what you really like about it.

>>16935517
So, where's your story, anon?

>>16935936
Not on 4chan obviously.

>>16935327
I am worried I accidentally ripped off The Road to some degree. There's a similar relationship dynamic in a similar circumstance. Hopefully the other elements set it apart.

>>16934929
i mean it's not something i would read of my own accord but you must have an incredibly inflated opinion on preteens and fanfiction because this is fairly competent. are you comparing it to what you have written or just to what you imagine you will write when you finally get around to it?

How to change my writing style?

>>16936022
Write in another style.

>>16936022
read.

>>16936031
But how to fixate that style in my mind so it can come naturally?

>>16936037
And then? I already do that.

>>16936057
What are you reading?

>>16936022
write using as little words as possible. cut out everything unecessary.

>>16936007

well only you know what's coming so i guess that's for me to find out. I mean if the chapters are this short i might even get through the whole thing. It's an alright read to be honest, and i can barely read anything so... that's a good review!

>>16936167
A manuscript for a novel that a friend wrote, Gabriel García Marquez, Grimm's short stories, Tchekhov's short stories, some poems, and a bunch of other things.

>>16936240
I already do that, but if I do something everybody do, then my style will be the same as everyone else. I don't want this. I want my style to be something I like, and the way it's now, I don't like it. It's been very difficult painstakingly rewriting a (short) story for a style I can actually say "Wow, I'd like to read this." I don't know if I'm approaching this wrongly, if people do that or they just go with what they wrote.

>>16926844
Do it on Royal Road instead

>>16936489
can i post poetry on there?

>>16936498
There are no rules against it, but I don't think 99.999% of the userbase gives a fuck

>>16936498
There's a minimum word count per chapter, so it would be hard unless you posted multiple poems per chapter or were writing epic poetry

>>16934363
I didn't use the "write when you feel like it" approach. The three years I was fantasizing about it I was working a full time job, writing and editing a different novel and designing a video game. The two years I took writing it I wrote almost every day. it's just a fucking doorstopper

maybe read the fucking post before you deride fuckface

>>16936498
>>16937313
500 characters is the minimum, so you'll be fine. There's also a mega thread in art subforum for poetry.

At the OT

HM says "no"

HT says "no"

HS says "no"

They say no in a nightmare. They sit on the three far ends of the operating theatre. They have human faces but they don't have hair.

I reach for the rongeur, HM says "no"

I reach for the cutter, HT says "no"

I reach for the drill, I swipe off my sweat, HS says "go ahead"

I go ahead

>>16926739
>get vaccinated and go back to your wagie cagie edition
As long as I wear my comfiest pajamas, I am safe from the wagie monster.

What do you guys think of having a villain that's evil because he thinks it's the most logical approach to living?
He isn't reluctant or feels grief about it, nor does he feel defeated by reality. He actually enjoys it and feels he is in the right for acting that way yet knows he is doing evil.
Are there actually good examples of this?

>>16937497
Ozymandias, from Watchmen.
Anti-spiral, from TTGL.
Iahweh, from the Bible.

I personnaly think you shouldn't approach this character as a villain or as "evil." If he thinks his ways are the most logical, then he isn't evil, he's logical. After all, he's evil in relation to what? What perceives him as "evil"? Himself? Why?

Pls critique:
http://txti.es/087m9

Is it funny? Relatable? Worth reading?

Not trying to be the next Melville, but maybe I'll collect my memories one day and people will pay to laugh with them.

>>16934769
Embrace the harshness and keep going. 4chan won't tell you how to be good, but they'll reliably tell you if you're bad. I worked on drawing long enough to get compliments from /ic/ and even had my work used by someone else to start a draw thread. It was very validating. Took 5 years' practice though.

>>16937624
Based repressed pedophile writer

>>16929018
>writing a novella in first person from a female's perspective
>got a female writer
this is a very good sign

>>16936017
It's reads like your average Harry Potter fanfic, a child author writing adults. Can you imagine a grown man eating an entire chocolate cake in front of guests or saying
> Yeah, whatevs
> Crud CRUD CRUD CRUD CRUD
> Hey there, my hot wife

How do I get over burnout as a writer?

Even though I still have the ability to write and am deeply invested in my story, I don't get pleasure out of it anymore. It's like my dopamine receptors ran dry

>>16937624
the story is fun and the structure is good. i dont like the embelishments tho. i think the sentences should feel like how that font looks but they dont. i didnt get the rattling of the door in the restaurant. the sentence was too long after the first two examples of panicky situations. id say make it more minimal overall. definitely read gordon lish's short stories "wouldnt giving it a title just make it worse" and "fuck james joyce" and maybe "guts" by chuck palahniuk.

ps. i attempted this many times but i just cant finnish standing up

>>16937592
Maybe logical wasn't the best word but his philosophy is all about how there is nothing but power, so in his eyes there aren't any boundaries but the amount of power one can exert on the world.
Now, he can still acknowledge that others see him as evil but he doesn't actually care for the label nor thinks his agenda can be slotted into just good or bad, just following what he sees as the true way of the world and in a kind of ironic way is not a relativist about it either. He has absolutely no respect for people who don't acknowledge this view.
Also, he can empathize with others well enough to know when he is really hurting them and is a really vindictive person so it's not as if he is just doing what he believes to be right either.

>>16938049
Depending of how you write this character, he can bring a lot of conflict for the story if in contact with others characters, as I can see.

But try not to tell, as narrator, that this character is "evil", nor "logical". Just present his mindset, through himself or other characters, who can say that he's evil, but I personally think it'd be more nuanced and subtle if you don't approach him as an evil character, just someone who has a specifical mindset about the world, as valid as any other.

>>16937954
Yes.

>>16937966
>ps. i attempted this many times but i just cant finnish standing up

Nowadays I can if I'm leaning on something. Back then it was pure hormones, I could cum at the drop of a hat.

What are some non western guides on writing?

>>16938111
Kishotenketsu

>>16938070
I wonder, though, would that really be alright?
I won't just say he is evil and spooky but I do want to make sure readers leave thinking he and his way of thinking are pure evil.
Though I do like the idea of presenting the ideas of evil people as being difficult to argue against because for one it feels more credible that someone would adopt them, and on the other side I think it gives off this grim feeling of seduction when a character or the reader himself might start to agree with them despite of their actions.

>>16936489
>check out stories on royal road
>He was level 11, an experienced seaman, but with his 17 levels in spears he was the best harpooner on the crew of the Essential.
What is this? Literal autism?

I've heard Royal Road has a mostly male userbase. I want to try and appeal my writing to women. God knows the few women here are rife with penis envy (the ones that are natural-born women) and thus completely unreliable for critique.
Where should I go to test the field with my work?

>>16938184
What do you personally consider evil? What do you think the read consider evil? When I write these type of character I always try to think deeply about it. As a reader, what YOU would consider evil about this character, honestly speaking? And ask yourself what do you want to do narratively with this character. Present him as evil? Show it. Present him as evil and logical? Show both point of views, maybe his and from other characters. There's a lot of interesting ways to do both things and even play with the fact people will perceive things differently. That's where creativity comes in.

Anons que hablan español, ¿Qué opinan de mi novela? Es una historia coming of age con eroguro, existencialismo, muerte, masoquismo y misticismo. No se la tomen muy en serio. Es para pasar un buen rato.

https://www.amazon.com/Ezra-Panini-%C3%A9pica-subjetiva-Spanish-ebook/dp/B08M8KDGHF/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ezra%20%26%20Panini&qid=1604345019&sr=8-1&fbclid=IwAR0GM7QsVQXNTsRO0TIOZUpj2wei5eMS2UIHLmYmKTW56yCo_GMbggzTJJ4

The primordial information referred to in your interference is hopelessly devolved!
Nevertheless, I see myself in the coercion to put your equivalence on the spot.
Truly, it is consolidated that the stateless polishers of your acabit enthrone a nauseating atmosphere.
As such, you are asked to slip away at the earliest opportunity, instantaneous would not be a luxury.
On this point, the conclusions at the end of the injunction can only be rejected, the authority of res judicata is imposed on your materiality.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

>>16937851
That means absolutely nothing. Post an excerpt.

>>16938310
>God knows the few women here are rife with penis envy
Even if that were true, they're still women. There's nothing different from them and the women that you want to read your work. Still better critique than nothing.

>>16938411
Ah, okay. Thanks for those questions. I'll take them into account.
My worry was, I guess, that this character will be in my story for a while and I often hear people complain that characters that are just evil to the core are boring.

Thanks for hearing me by the way.

>>16938549
I wouldn't say it means nothing. At the very least it's some quiet reassurance that I'm headed in the right direction. Or simply a much-needed placebo. In any case, here's an excerpt-
https://pastebin.com/raw/vqmQDqqy
tell me what ya think brah

>>16938794
There was one time I wrote a story of a guy who fucked his girlfriend's corpse because in his mind this was the ultimate proof of love. Is it creepy? It's, but the guy has a legitimate reason to do it. How she died, or who killed her? That's one of the mysteries, but as the narrative is narrated in first person by the boyfriend himself, there's unrealible narrator shenanigans. So there's that. You can always make an "evil thing" be perceived with other eyes.

>>16938423
désolé, je comprend pas

>>16937497
What you've just described reminds me of Marquis de Sade's libertine ideology
>Born treacherous, harsh, imperious, barbaric, selfish as lavish in the pursuit of pleasure as miserly when it were a question of useful spending, a liar, a gourmand, a drunk, a dastard, a sodomite, fond of incest, given to murdering, to arson, to theft, no, not a single virtue compensated that host of vices. Why, what am I saying! not only did he never so much as dream of a single virtue, he beheld them all with horror, and he was frequently heard to say that to be truly happy in this world a man ought not merely fling himself into every vice, but should never permit himself one virtue, and that it was not simply a matter of always doing evil, but also and above all of never doing good.
>"Oh, there are plenty of people," the Duc used to observe, "who never misbehave save when passion spurs them to ill; later, the fire gone out of them, their now calm spirit peacefully returns to the path of virtue and, thus passing their life going from strife to error and from error to remorse, they end their days in such a way there is no telling just what roles they have enacted on earth. Such persons," he would continue, "must surely be miserable: forever drifting, continually undecided, their entire life is spent detesting in the morning what they did the evening before.
>I hate virtue, and never will I be seen resorting to it. They have persuaded me that through vice alone is man capable of experiencing this moral and physical vibration which is the source of the most delicious voluptuousness; so I give myself over to vice. I was still very young when I learned to hold religion's fantasies in contempt, being perfectly convinced that the existence of a creator is a revolting absurdity in which not even children continue to believe. I have no need to thwart my inclinations in order to flatter some god; these instincts were given me by Nature, and it would be to irritate her were I to resist them; if she gave me bad ones, that is because they were necessary to her designs.
120 Days of Sodom might be the book you're looking for

>>16935383
you say that like it means anything

>>16934929
>Honestly. I thought she'd be, like, too awesome to be sick, but, huh, apparently not.
I hope to God you people don't write dialogue like this

>>16934769
In those immortal words
>Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming

>>16933986
You've got that backwards. Poetry takes a lot more mental effort than freehand prose. Don't be deceived by the smaller word count.
>"If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter."

>>16929565
based unrepentant drug addict

>>16938897
>I have no need to thwart my inclinations in order to flatter some god; these instincts were given me by Nature, and it would be to irritate her were I to resist them; if she gave me bad ones, that is because they were necessary to her designs.
Dangerously based.

>>16938091
Sad!

I tried picking up drawing again hoping it would distract me from the fact that my writing has grown tired and soulless, but it didn't help and now I'm even more frustrated

>>16939484
You're just feeling creatively drained, you'll get over it. Stop being a baby

>>16939532
it's been a year and a half, when will I get over it?

>>16939544
When you stop being a baby

2 1/2 hour long sprint for a new chapter up to 1,700 words. Yeah, I'm thinking we're all gonna make it bros.

Here’s the thing I alluded to writing last October.

http://fictionmania.tv/stories/readtextstory.html?storyID=16068609801307034847

>>16939484
At least post your pictures, drawfag

>>16939711
>last October
I mean a month and a half ago, not last year.

>>16939711
>Fictionmania explores gender. This can be done in many various ways. Within that concept, the variety is endless.

>Many stories feature a transformation. A majority of these are a transformation from one sex, into the other.
what in the goddamn?

>>16939714
I don't have a scanner and all of it was complete dogshit. I don't have the patience to learn how to draw again. I didn't get any better when I was a teenager and I don't expect to get any better now that my neuroplasticity is gone.

I want to be a writer, and I can't even take pleasure in it anymore

>>16939733
I have fetish.

>>16935383
>>16936017
How the fuck can you faggots unironically defend this piece of shit? how is this witty? Like >>16935955 my story isn't on 4chan and I don't intend to post it here but what our anons write is almost always better than this "yes I am a racist." Fanfic.

I just discovered a massive plothole in my story. FUck.

>>16936022
"Adopt" a new persona. Start thinking as if you were someone else, preferably the main character of what you're writing, and especially if it's a first person story. You can also start reading shit by authors you want to imitate, or by rl persons who are similar to what you want to write like (I.e if you want to write like a schizo read Nietzsche, etc.)

>>16926739
I am writing this and you can't stop me.

>>16940089
>naming your book a "classic" before it's even been written
clever move

>>16940089
Why would I want to stop you? Are you planning to make it bad?

>>16940042
What's your plothole? I'm just not realizing I've never once caught a plothole in anything I've written. That could be just because I'm a naturally amazing writer or, more likely, I've just gone blind to them

How can I convince /wg/ to try its hand at screenwriting?

>>16940261
I was told my prose is sort of like a script. I'm trying to avoid it, though.

I need to get over my burnout but I don't know how to start being interested in things again

>>16940261
I have to idea where to start.
Am I supposed to write an outline and then scenes and then the script?

>>16926785
UwU, <3

I have a set of characters I made for a fanfic long ago which I never finished but I nonetheless became attached to.
I can give their origins if you want but my question is what can I even do with them now? They kind of feel like the cast for a harem anime, one guy and seven girls all with feelings for the guy, but I didn't want to just do that with them. I think they have more to offer even if they are just a couple of steps over being cartoon archetypes.

>>16940041
You're too autistic to even pick up the obvious irony in the lines. You probably missed all the references too. You just see one word in the text and go "shit shit shit". Probably because you're a real racist and people making fun of racists triggers you this hard

Posting some neverheard nobody's work in a thread about writing just to say "guys look what a load of shit!" is something only a 12-year-old would do. Your "story" is nowhere and you're an actual retard.

>>16931770
>Find someone to talk to
The likelihood of this person existing given his mental state is low.

>>16937965
Take a break, just write notes when you think of things. You are in a refractory phase. Wait it out.

>>16940261
Where would we publish screenwriting scripts?

>>16938807
If those things are accurate then they're based on writing style and not anything to do with sex. Plenty of men here that got Agatha Christie while writing from male perspective. I got Agatha Christie writing from male and female perspectives and I write nothing like you (or her).
Honestly, anon, I wouldn't really believe that that's a woman's voice but maybe it's just hard to tell through your writing style and with no context in such a small excerpt.

Which sounds better?

This one grave semblance lost to brainless sway.

or

This one grave semblance lost to people's sway.

>>16940332
That may or may not be an insult, I can't tell.

>>16940651
Yes and yes. Screenplays are, by necessity, *much* more structured than novels. In a novel you're free to do a certain level of wandering around your story. But film is a different medium. Anything that doesn't move the story forward in a film must be left out.
For most screenwriters the process is usually something like
>Think of a premise
>Formulate it into a logline
>Do a lot of prewriting about the characters, settings, conflicts, etc
>Write out the story as a 4-5 page treatment
>Use the treatment to mock up ~70 3x5 cards, each of which represents a scene
>Use the cards to write the actual screenplay
I don't know how much prewriting you do, but it's generally said that screenplays require a great deal more prewriting than novels. Everything has to be very finely manicured.

>>16941397
Sadly it requires just as much networking and people skills as publishing traditional prose. There are screenwriting competitions, summits, hell, you could even take the boomer route and start cold-calling agent's assistants.
If you ever get traditionally published, or already are, your agent or publishing house might even have some studio people they can talk to.

>>16942003
Impossible to tell out of context

>>16930594
>>16930605
Nobody will read this under shock etc. I can't imagine being a functionally illiterate normie trying to decipher why your son/brother/spouse has killed himself and reading this shit over and over. If you can't understand it while drunk it's not a good note.
Write why in a few short words e.g. "this life is like watching a horrible movie and I'm walking out of the theater", thank yous, fuck yous, instructions for funeral / belongings.
If you want to jerk off like that, then just put it separately in a drawer, people will go through your stuff and they'll find it. Most likely they won't read it, but if they do they'll be in a better state to read your ramblings. Suicide note is for family/friends to read to process the act

Chapter 4 is up.

https://awfiction.wordpress.com/2020/12/04/engine-zero-zero-chapter-4/

>>16942419
Keep em comin

Chapter 1 was going on for so long that I decided to cut my loses and split it into the first and the second chapter. I've made the outline for chapter 3; hopefully it won't be as extensive, but I suspect that I'll have to split it in parts again. Editing my novel is not going to be fun.
Also, is it normal that writing an outline feels so easy to me? I can do it in about 10 or 15 minutes at most. I don't know if that means that I'm not thinking hard enough about it.

>>16942678
If you're going to put so much effort into the outline, why not just write the chapters themselves? I don't understand this whole outlining practice in general

can you critique this piece of shit so i can submit it and have a decent chance?

>>16942881
>poetry
Submit it to the burnable trash bin lmao

>>16942894
my agent said it was good. Why? did yours say it was bad?

>>16942678
>the easy part is really easy for me

Quit jerking off and get to work cause so far no one is impressed.

Around 20% of the words in my novel are adverbs. Is this too many? I heard that it's best to keep the adverb count low.

>>16943073
What's an Adverb?

>>16942943
You mean the federal agent who took your marijuana?

>>16941479
Yeah, from the looks of the other replies Agatha Christie seems to be the website's catch-all "dunno lol" answer.
>I wouldn't really believe that that's a woman's voice
Is there anything about the text that strikes you as particularly masculine?

>>16943090
It's like a verb but with a D in the middle

>>16942894
>anti-poetry posters on /wg/
I don't even like poetry but I recognize the prowess it takes to write it. Why are you pretending it's bad by deafult?

>>16943149
>I recognize the prowess it takes to write it

humpy dumpty diddly doo
yo mom's ass so phat
your home reeks of poo

>>16943131
Mostly the language. And the fact that people in general do not think like that. Especially women. It's quite overwrought, pretentious, trying too hard. So it just reads like a young man's writing.
>I possessed no particular ire against it.
>I wished to distract myself from my perplexed musings. I decided to engage with her.
These are just a few examples of the above.

>>16943358
>overwrought, pretentious, trying too hard
I'm sorry, but I have to take that as a compliment, since the character is pretentious and overwrought. Def the kind of person to try too hard with her writing. But her coming across as a young man doesn't sound too promising.
But I guess I should also say that I've been exploring (mostly in my head though I've hinted at it a bit in what I've written so far) the possibility of her being a repressed transsexual. This might win me a few points by default in certain circles, but to me it's just another broken part of a very troubled mind.
Still, it's better to try and make the text as effeminate as possible. That way any traces of my masculine hand I leave behind can be attributed to her gender dysphoria. Any tips for making her seem more "effeminate?"

Does jerking off make writing easier afterwards?
What's your writer's fuel?
I'd say coffee but it makes me shit too much and it's kind of a waste of time

>>16942829
But that's the opposite of what I said. My outlines take me around 10 minutes to do. Developing the chapters is what prolongs itself because I get easily caught up in relying the scene with a lot of detail and wandering around, as I prefer to improvise.

>>16943041
I wanted to know if I was doing it right, because it felt weird that it wasn't giving me problems.

>>16943562
>it makes me shit too much
Fuck this
I love a nice cup of coffee during my first writing session of the day but I almost always have to get up once I'm in the middle of a breakthrough to take a shit. At this point my body is attuned to the timing so even if I don't have coffee I still need to shit.
Personally I try to save my daily jerk of for the end of the day so I can channel a bit of sexual energy into my work.

>>16943176
I fucked a bitch up her asshole,
She screamed and cried, but took my pole.
When it was all done,
She rubbed her aching bum.
I laughed, "one more thot pays the toll!"

How important is fiinshed first draft for you? Does it make you feel more at ease?

>>16943797
I publish my first drafts on Amazon ...

should I do it now or later? 2008 was a long time ago lads.
(sorry for posting this, I thought it would be fun because I saw the starting posts but it turns out I'm a cross between every big scifi writer and DFW so now my morning is ruined.)

>>16943797
>how important
not at all
>more at ease?
no

>>16943073
your writing should be minimalist in that it describes exactly what it is you're trying to convey. does it matter that the carpet was "exquisitely" clean, or just that it was clean? maybe it needs to be there, maybe not. use extreme discretion. I think bukowski has a good quote about this but I am lazy. you also shouldn't be breaking your novel down into stats like that unless you want to go crazy, but 20% sounds like a lot. there is only one adverb in this entire post and it's the example.

come to think of it, I have probably been rused. fuck it.

>>16943073
That’s a lot. Try finding better words to describe the same thing and have a little faith in your audience. Excessive descriptions can be insulting and tend to slow the pace. For example, we know when a character is angry, we don’t need an adverb after every piece of dialogue reminding us. Characters who are playful don’t need to say or do things “playfully” all the time unless they’re poorly developed and hard to predict, we just assume they’re playful under the right circumstances. If they act playfully in the wrong situation the adverb is a good way to emphasize that so the reader makes note of it, for example, the joker in Batman making jokes or being sarcastic during a violent scene. Don’t be afraid to use adverbs but make sure they’re drawing attention to something out of the ordinary and not just unnecessary/redundant descriptions. Adverbs are like soft italics, if you use them too much they lose their importance.

Folks, to what extent do you include little details to appeal to diversity-mad editors and publishers?

For example, I wrote a short story about a woman slowly losing attraction to her boyfriend after seeing him belittled by another man. Don't worry, the woman is painted as self-absorbed and shallow-- but while keeping the boyfriend white, I've made the belittler an Asian.

Am I sacrificing integrity by doing this? I just want a few more publications.

>>16943532
>since the character is pretentious and overwrought
I hear this a lot but it really isn't very compelling. If you mean making her a male that wants to be a woman then yes, I'd believe that a little bit more. Regardless, plenty of men write female characters without having to justify themselves with trans characters and gender dysphoria.
I'd love to give you some tips on making her seem like an actual woman but it would involve stripping out all the language that's typical of an autistic male. I suspect you won't want to. Try reading classics that were written by women. That way you could still get the 'pretentious' vibe without the cringe and the maleness.

>>16938807
Late to this but I read it and actually really enjoyed this, anon. It's better than a lot I read about on these threads. Reminded me a little of remains of the day. Would you post more? What's it about? Expected word count?

>>16943592
The time it takes is irrelevant. You made it sound like you put a lot of detail into them. Otherwise, how would you know how long a chapter is going to be? There's a lot of room to change when it's actually written.

It's said that the first ten pages of a screenplay are the most important. Here's the first ten of mine

https://www.docdroid.net/rYT5ENp/sample-pdf

Feel free to skim it. Producers don't like reading so screenplays aren't made to be closely read. Does it fill you with a sense of mystery? Would you be interested in watching this film?

>>16934851
>what you have to understand is...
>the sheer volume of people...is stifling
>marinating in their own brine
Ngl, it kinda sounds like you're trying to ape DFW style but your vocabulary isn't big enough

>>16942221
Is the only way to get screenwriting "off the ground" pitching to Hollywood kikes and hoping they'll make your movie?

>>16943797
Somewhat a lot since that's the version that gets published first

>>16943797
Immediately after finishing it, yes.
After a week when I need it start editing it, no not at all.

>>16938592
this is a r*ddit opinion (anodyne, sympathetic to female, encouraging)

>>16938846
good luck getting that published anywhere but the next Tundra

>>16944305
Bump for this

>>16942003
neither of those sound good. A noun phrase should not be that long. You've got too many adjectives: "one, grave, brainless/people's." Also the prepositional "lost to" is quite clumsy.

>>16942943
poets don't have agents faggot, stick to prose

>>16943562
>what's your writer's fuel?
Physical exhaustion / possible sleep deprivation, and last-second deadline panic

>>16943562
>Does jerking off make writing easier afterwards?
I write more when I'm sexually frustrated and have no motivation when I'm done masturbating.

>>16943562
>What's your writer's fuel?
Sometimes monster, mainly coffee or herbal tea. I've grown accustomed to coffee since I was spoiled with it young and shit maybe every 2 days.

>>16944305
Idk, it depends on how authentic you sound and whether you can write on race relations in a way that feels true and poignant yet surprising. I don't have this problem because I'm asian. editors assume everything i write is diversified. Honestly i don't give a fuck about white flagellation, i just wanna have a good laugh or be moved

>have dream with interesting story/characters
>am now crippled by having to understand the magic/telekinesis shit that comes with dream logic
The dude literally twirled that bitch in the air and a few other things.

>>16944656
Dreams don't have logic.

>>16943562
>>16943562
idk if it's "fuel" exactly, but I have given myself a pavlovian response to Earl Gray Tea(3 tablespoons of sugar pls) and I usually get 1000 words an hour, then get a new cup and go another hour. After 4 hours I usually end up with 3000ish words and that's a normal day of writing for me.

>>16944527
Don't be so stupid. If he wants to write for women then he will need to hear a woman's opinion at some point. The women here are the same as the women everywhere.

>>16944656
It's worth it. My best stories start out as wanting to write a certain scene from a dream and needing to craft an entire story to make sense of it. Resolve yourself to altering it in plenty of ways while retaining the same feeling and it'll work well.

>>16944881
Honestly, the hardest part of this is going to be world building. I've spent the last hour brainstorming how everything works and have little to show for it.

>>16944599
>joke flies over NPC faggot

typical tranny

>>16944305
Changing superficial details, like a name, is alright. Changing the actual story to pander to woke editors would be sacrificing integrity

Can you give feedback please?

Once in Delaware, I stopped at a gas station and went inside the shop.
There was an owl on the counter and it greeted me with a hooooot hoooooot, the second hoot being a little bit longer than the first one, not by much, but still longer. So I greeted it, and asked for Dunhills. It replied hoooot, and I understood they had no more left. So I said eh what the hell, gimme a pack of Newports, I like smoking Newports once in a while, they're very fresh, right? It closed its eyes very slowly, it took maybe three seconds, and hoped on the cigarette shelf. It took a pack with its beak, hoped back on the counter and dropped the pack. I told it to keep the change because I figured it would have a hard time giving the coins back with its talons. It then turned its head backwards to look at an approaching car, howled, a very short but loud hoot and looked back at me again.
I thanked it, it replied "hoooooooot hooooot" and closed its eyes slowly again. I left the store, got back into my car and drove off to Maine.
It occured to me that I hadn't even asked for its name, because it was the first time that I had ever seen an owl on a gas station counter. I had seen owls before, on trees, in barns, hunting over meadows, on the television, but never on a gas station counter in Delaware, that threw me off. I didn't even know if it was a he or a she.
Anyway, I said, it's getting pretty late, I can't get back there now, so I lit a Newport and thought about what I was gonna do in Maine. I had no precise plan yet but just wanted to get out of Northern Carolina. I mean North Carolina is a nice state, but I wanted to go to Maine. I had seen picture of cats, big cats, they were called Maine Coons and I wanted to see for myself if they existed for real. Until then, until I can find the cats, that is, I'd probably work at a mechanic's to make a few extra bucks. I hoped that someone would take me to work with cars because I had absolutely no experience with motors and the likes. I just liked turning wrenches. I used big wrenches to change tires, smaller wrenches to change hoses, and sometimes very small wrenches for small parts on the motor. Big wrenches, medium wrenches, small wrenches, I felt like I could repair anything with them. So I dragged on my Newport, got back into my car and drove off, I could smell the ocean and I was very happy.

A crimson Gwalior flower gently lands on my shoulder

I look up but there's no tree

Another fiery blossom floats down and settles on my lap

I look up but there's still no tree

Soon the floor is covered in a red velvety carpet

I lay face down on it and stretch my arms and legs

And the existence of the tree is not of my concern anymore

>>16945285
I like it. is that the end of it?

>>16945073
>"Joking" about a piece of utter doggerel
ngmi
just stop writing
give up

>>16945285
there were some parts that didnt go well with the wonderful simplicity
>the second hoot being a little bit longer than the first one, not by much, but still longer
the hoooots are enough to communicate this no?
>eh
>I mean
>that is
>dragged on

I don't know how these threads work but I'm dreading to go to sleep because it just means I have to get up to go to work. Does this all sound alright?
---
It was a clear twinight on Ge. As this was so unusual, the Griffon Nepos decided to visit the Rhumparion, the open galleries of which offered the best view over the lands he called his. So it was under the silver ringlight of an empty sky that he and his bodyguard, Pars, took the shuttle from the New Tower.
The rail line shuddered precariously on its crumbling supports, occasionally jolting the shuttle and its passengers to the left or to the right. Through the nuglas, one could see the landscape of a living jungle: broad-leafed caryan trees, blue oaks, the occasional tropical pine breaching the canopy; great gourd vines snaked their way up the stone archways of the rail line, anchoring themselves in the gaps left by fallen masonry. Various nocturnal birds glided from treetop to treetop, chased by gently hooting golden monkeys. Above, the occasional silhouette of an imperial bat could be glimpsed traversing the span of the Ring.
Rising above the jungle were the towers of the Palace, constructed from a volcanic black stone and intricately carved with all the familiar grotesques of classical Tellurian architecture: lions, ur-hounds, witch-birds, and fierce serpents. There were seven towers including the New Tower, positioned in a rough circle around their parent structure, which had over the centuries become invisible beneath the ever-wilder sea of green leaves. Indeed, no residents of Mount Sabast had set foot in the Palace since the reign of Griffon Nepos CVIII. Now everyone lived in the Towers, connected by the newer rail shuttles.
The Rhumparion was the odd-man-out, a grey and rounded cube with rows and rows of arched galleries giving out directly to the air, without either glass or nuglas panes. Architecturally distinct, and much older. It had been abandoned shortly before the Palace, and was a place of superstition and rumored ghosts. But Nepos liked to wander its halls whenever possible, exploring its mysteriouspassages and deciphering its secret manners – and there was no question it offered the most breathtaking views of the Cimmral Valley below.

Nepos was the one hundred and thirty second Griffon, Nepos CXXXII, the last of a lineage that for over five thousand years had ruled over the six nations and eleven worlds of the Tellurian Empire. But this valley, it's ruins and its forest, were all that Nepos had ever known since the age of eight, when he had last been off-world – the Void contained nothing but frightening memories.

>>16945554
>missing the point this hard, not realising i was only joking about having an agent
>being this much of a tranny

dilate and seethe

A large mirror hung over the sinks and I looked at myself. My hair was
honey-colored and very long. Turning around, I saw that it just touched
the top of my butt. My ass was huge and round. Each ass cheek thrust
boldly into my swimming trunks, creating a prominent shelf just below my
lower back. I bounced on my toes and saw how my entire rear jiggled in
response, settling long moments after the rest of me had stopped moving.
I turned again and saw that, indeed, my swimsuit was barely stretched
over my round hips and perfectly hugged my pussy mound. These pants left
nothing to the imagination as I could clearly see my thick pussy lips
press into the thin fabric. My legs were long, and they tapered from my
wide hips to my shapely shins and small feet. The skin was smooth and
pale.

My face was dominated by my thick, sensual lips. They hung slightly
agape, giving my face a confused and innocent appearance. I licked my
lips and smiled; innocence was instantly replaced with raw, sexual hunger
and my lips looked ready to suck cock.

Finally, I looked at my huge tits. Through the thin, white fabric of my
tee-shirt I could see my areolas. They had each grown over six inches
across; their vibrant pink showed plainly through my stretched shirt. My
nipples were extreme! They weren't even fully erect, but still reminded
me of pink wine corks, long and thick. And the tits that they topped
were stupendous. My boobs were soft and round, and hung proudly from my
chest. I picked my heavy, left breast up with both of my hands (my hands
had shrunken to small, dainty things) and squeezed it. My tit-flesh was
yielding and hot; my huge nipple grew even longer for the attention.
With another small jump, I watched, mesmerized, as my tits bounced
endlessly. The pale, creamy tit-flesh quivered and my nipples traced
delicate circles under my shirt. Under the stress, my tee-shirt ripped
even further, revealing the inner curve of my areolas. I was so turned-
on that I didn't care how much flesh I was showing. Wearing a wicked
smile, I jiggled and swayed back to the barroom.

im gonna be a famous poet and everyone who bellittled me and bullied me will rue the day they ever not followed me back or didnt talk to me

>>16945727
you know what kid, fuck you and your trash poem. deep down in your heart, you know it's irredeemable trash. i might've given you a critique if you had been even slightly humble, but no, you only want to fight. i personally guarantee you will be rejected by 100% of your submissions. believe me or don't believe me. it doesn't matter. what matters is that you won't even receive a rejection letter, because that's literary journals' irl method of shadowbanning. peace out bitch

>>16945857
stale copypasta

>>16945782
post poem or else lies

>>16944656
>>16944881
>>16944978
>tfw having to invent clan family trees and lines of succession and history of a throne because of a dream
I didn't sign up for this, but I'm enjoying the pain(I think)

I put one of my uni work in French.
It tells me Joyce.
What does it mean ?

Amazingly I made it back on sci-fi trending on royal road. I wonder how long I can stay up there again, last time I lasted for about two whole months before I got bumped off into irrelevancy.

>>16930594
>no activity from OP since this post >>16931667
They get gotted themselves without rewriting the letter, how awful

Is there literally anything worse than the "in-progress" state on submittable? I know you're going to reject me, just put me out of my misery already

>>16945737
>tit-flesh
Will forever be the hottest synonym for breasts

>>16945737
That line describing the asscheeks in swim trunks doesn’t make a lick of sense to me.

>>16926739
I've just been locked down for three weeks. So three weeks of not going into the office and doing a job that requires maybe an hour's work a day. SO MUCH TIME FOR READING AND WRITING AND SHITPOSTING OH MY

>tfw you will never be remembered like Homer and Virgil thousands of years after you're gone
>you will be utterly lost to time less than a century after your death and all that will remain are your bones in the cold earth

what's the point in going on bros, I have no talent

Should I give names to the organisations in my story? Or should I just give them vague names like "the Guild" or "the Association"?

>>16946481
Let me guess, you idolize "the classics" and try to write literary fiction similar to them, instead of writing something marketable. You probably have enough talent to make it but you are striving toward recreating a dead form.

>>16946481
Read the stoics, realize your potential and live your life. We don't remember any of them for who they are and their works are simply fragments of condensed time, and none of them cared about being remembered because they were too busy living. And that's why they've lasted so long.

I want to write a story set in my hometown in my country. But the problem is, it's only a small place. It's a story set in the 40s and the idea has been growing now for about a year, based completely off one picture I saw hung at the local council foyer. I keep trying to write it, but then I don't know certain things like technology and how things specifically were for small island countries around that time. E.g. I'm sure somewhere like New York would have been miles ahead of a place like Burma (I don't live in Burma) etc. Are there any guides or books that are good to reference for how things were do you think?

>>16946332
Several of my accepted pieces actually don't show up on my history, because the publishers actually chose the "Completed" option on their end....which for some reason deletes the entire entry on both our ends.

So that's a little irritating.

>we will start deleting your content if you're inactive for 2 years
NOOOOO I'M SORRY MY GOOGLE OVERLORD I WILL STOP PROCRASTINATING

>>16946482
Do it only when relevant to the story maybe?

>watch Into the Woods years ago
>have idea for a girl screaming instead of singing and getting all the creepy crawlies instead of birds and chipmunks
>write the story a month ago
>it reads like a power fantasy from an edgy 16 year old girl
I'm a 25 year old male... Should I just anhero?

>>16947486
No. You actually wrote a story, which seems to be more than what 80% of /lit/ can claim. Write another one and hopes it's better.

>>16946957
i mean there should be lots of shit on the internet, just google "books about *hometown* 1940s
if you post the location i'll help you look

I wonder if I'll ever really enjoy creating stories again

I can't stop fucking scratching my head. The dreams are taking over every other thought, so I never even get far enough to make a single sentence for this documentation. It should be easy enough, just ignore the dreams, and keep shouting in my head, "THE CLIENT WILL MAKE A REQUEST VIA THE API FOR...", but already I'm thinking of laying back in the grass as Diogenes details the flaw in my attitude towards life.
It's not even really life there. And of course Diogenes is just some quirky thoughts that convince me they are not my own. But still my thoughts are robbed back to that realm. I mean, why the hell am I able to so thoroughly examine and critique myself there, but not here? Who the hell am I relinquishing control to that they manage to be so damn productive and enlightening?
Makes me think of demons or something. Why else would I be so thoroughly head-fucked, my thoughts stolen away to sinful other realms? There can't be reality there beyond ours, or what sort of jail sentence have I been doled to spend so much time here instead?
Whatever the case, my mind will still be restless. I went and got pizza, the most satisfying manifestation of gluttony, and I savored it so, and became so full. But still I can't write a single fucking sentence. I can't even think up an explanation to give for why I didn't manage to write anything. Do I just tell everyone my mind was ceaselessly doting on dreams of nights prior, and wishes for tonight's loss of consciousness?
Ihavetogoforadrive.

>>16947588
Hughenden Australia

Never really been into writing, but I've got a lot of time lately so I've decided to write a paragraph of my thoughts a day and see where it ends up. Mostly doing this for myself but I'm curious what you all think of it.

The thoughts flee faster than they come. I fear there is much that can never be recovered, and so I shall begin to inscribe them here. Perhaps this fancy will last a mere few days as all the others, and perhaps I will finally do something to completion simply to spite myself. This is the first, it may well be the last.

>>16944317
I don't know what "language typical of an autistic male" is but I'll take your advice and read more women's novels. These things are best done by feel rather than consciously and scientifically, I think.

>>16944342
Glad to hear it. I'm not at my computer right now so I can't post more but I sprinkle some passages in these threads from time to time, keep your eyes peeled.
The books is about a troubled and isolated schoolgirl attending classes at a prestigious academy. She develops an unhealthy fixation on a new girl, Thomasin. As fixation develops into infatuation, and infatuation into obsession, the walls of reality begin to flex and bleed around her. She loses herself and descends into Hell.
It's actually a companion piece to another project I began before it, a movie. The movie is centered around Thomasin herself, her entrance into the academy, and subsequent derealization. I'm not sure why I decided to write the book. Or even why I latched on to the simple background character that became the novel's protagonist. But now that I've started I can't stop.
As for word count, I really couldn't say. I'm not the "more=better" type so I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

>>16944464
The only way to sell your screenplay is to pitch it to hollywood executives. The only way to get it "off the ground" (as in, actually made) is to find a director who's interested in making it happen.

>>16948453
>I fear
>inscribe
>this fancy
>a mere
bruh who you tryna impress writing like that LMAO

>>16946267
>bumped off royal road trending
>into irrelevancy
don't feel too bad, anon. you were never relevant to begin with

>>16946481
>implying I will ever die

>>16946322
Satan should send him back to finish the job.
Now there's a premise for a story.

>>16946267
Does anyone even look at the genre-specific trending lists? I've been trending on horror for who knows how long, but I don't think it has brought me any new readers.

>>16948918
Myself. I've always had a habit of repetitive language when I wrote papers so I figured I'd try something a bit different.

>>16926739
I need some fucking help. I'm trying to describe what its like to be lovingly hugged by someone you care about and I'm out of ideas.

I know its warm, and safe and relaxing, but I want to get across a feeling of a sudden clarity and understanding. Like everything suddenly being okay and making sense. But I need a metaphor for it. Best of got now is things being washed away by a "warm wave"

But that sounds retarded

Do I need to be happy to write about people being happy?

>>16949907
>I'm trying to describe what its like to be lovingly hugged by someone you care about
Why do you think anyone here would know?

>>16948453
WOW! this is really good

>>16949984
But seriously, how do I even write love? Or warm feelings in general?

>>16949907

>>16950014
>>16950027
>>16949984
>write what you know

>>16949907
this made me think about the farewell scene from runaway horses by mishima

>The perfume that rose from her seemed to screen his vision. His senses were fully taken up with that scent. Isao’s feet trembled in his clogs and the thongs creaked faintly. His footing seemed to be giving way, and like a man seized by a drowning person, he reached out in self-protection and clasped Makiko in his arms.

and then a paragraph about the kiss

https://www.bookscool.com/en/Runaway-Horses-262447/31

>>16950347
Damn, that's pretty good. And here I thought Mishima is just lit's meme

>>16950575
>letting memes influence your taste
shiggy

Chapter 5.

https://awfiction.wordpress.com/2020/12/05/engine-zero-zero-chapter-5/

>Tell me myself I have to do X number of words today and get shit done
>Stress out and procrastinate the whole time.
>Tell myself I need a break from writing today and not to worry
>Stress out and mentally plot out the next few paragraphs the whole time

Is there a word for this? Hell?

Are adverbs really the devil?

>>16951815
what's an adverb?
Also, what are they filming?

>>16951815
No, but conjunctions are

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/37998/wish-mountain

New scene is up. The whole first episode is written, just going through it slowly with the editor.

Do you guys think there's anything wrong with explaining the character arcs?
something like a guy guilty of some crime sacrificing his life and another guy says:
>"In the end, he got his retribution."
Or stuff like that.
Is it better to keep character arcs implied?
How bad would it be to spell it out?

>>16952222
>episode
Why the fuck are you referring to your chapters as episodes.

If you hate novels so much, just make a TV show.

>>16952355
>just make a TV show

Yeah hopefully one day.

>>16952222
This reads like someone actually experienced in writing genre fiction, are you? I liked it btw

>tfw when a scene comes across as dumb as fuck but you cannot come up with anything better

>>16952222
Nothing interesting happens in the first "scene" and everything above the *** should just be deleted and conveyed through the text. Like the other guy said, it's kinda obvious you want to write a screenplay and not a novel.

>>16952581
Not particularly. I write a lot but I'm not a professional or professionally published.

>>16952640
It's meant to be read as one big episode/chapter. But royal road incentivises multiple posts to stay on the front page. I could spam but I just broke up the story into scenes instead. And yeah I like writing screenplays so that's pretty obvious I guess.

>your family member doesn't want to read anything
>your only friend just tells you it's good it's good bro it's great i tell you it's amazing i want to read more
>can't ask for online feedback because the only writing boards in your language are full of fanfic teenagers who don't know shit about actual literature and prose
>can't buy yourself a proofreader because your country doesn't have such things
Is writing in english my only hope?

>>16952787
Yes, pretty much.

>>16952709
>It's meant to be read as one big episode/chapter. But royal road incentivises multiple posts to stay on the front page.

Then why have you only managed to post 3 chapters in almost two weeks? You should post either one short scene per day or one longer episode per week. Otherwise, it doesn't really encourage a following

>>16952878
My girlfriend (editor) and I have jobs. She's been particularly busy lately too. Also if it doesn't get much of a following I'll just delete it and repost everything again so it's back to back.

>>16952895
Your imaginary editor girlfriend should've told you to write more chapters in advance then, if you don't have the time to keep a consistent schedule otherwise.

>>16952787
100% yes. It's more or less the only language that matters.

>>16952787
Don't expect much else, anon. I write in English and I have the same issues as you. Online feedback is exactly what you describe, doesn't matter where you go; either teenagers who don't even see the prose itself or redditors who are armchair experts that will mislead you with poor advice.
It seems like writing in your native language is probably a good idea because there is a much smaller market, but by the same token English is a much larger market so you may benefit more from using it instead.

>>16953251

I feel as though my thoughts control me. I can't remember a single time throughout all my life where there was a thought I didn't consider to be intrusive or compulsive. That isn't to say
I don't tinker with them. I do so often, without thinking about. That is, I don't think about thinking. But just what is a thought? Where do they come from? Are they born from an underlying
unconscious? I do kid myself with these sorts of thoughts. I like to repeat to myself that I am intelligent. What I do know is that I am conscious. I know that for sure. Now you might be
thinking I'm sort of mad, but you'd be mistaken. You'd be mistaken because these are not the writings of a mad man, they are the writings of an intelligent man, which I have mentioned before,
but that I am uncertain of. I'm uncertain because I've already shown hesitation in this very essay over my intelligence. Now you may think that what I previously wrote did not represent
hesitation. But that, that being the work I have already produced in the confines of this essay, revealed my hesitation over my intelligence. Now after reading all that mess of writing
you might consider the first sentence to be true. You might have realized that within the middle of the essay, for example. You may not have realized it at all. Perhaps you knew it
throughout the entirety of your experience reading this part of the essay, because your mind was fixated on the first sentence. Now, naturally, if I were engaging in a conversation with a
group of my peers and I attempted to explain to them in this sort of manner, the manner of which I have been explaining my consciousness, they would react just like you. They would
be offended at the raw nature of my writing. They would laugh and cry over my peculiarness. Now naturally at this point in a conversation, if all this were to be a conversation, we
would now be shifting the topic to the idea of suffering. Because a man who goes through this sort process rapidly and in long durations of time would naturally be a man who suffers.
Oh, nothing but a man who suffers and suffers. Oh, but this is want I want to hear. Oh, but I think that nobody is conscious enough to make the sort of decision that would put me in a
respectable place. Whether that be in a conversation or some institution. Now what do I mean by institution is what you ask yourself? Well I'm not certain that even I know what I mean
by this.

How to write good romance chemistry?

When you feel their love, when you know it's natural, when you cheer for them, when you feel what they feel. How am I supposed to write this? I saw this in some best romance stories but I don't even know how to do this or even how they achieved that.

>>16953513
Don't force it. Simple as that. Characters that play well together will naturally fall into a romance if they match well. Forcing a bad romance is always bad unless intentional.

behold, the face of the average /wg/ poster

>>16949195
It's the thought that counts.

>>16949294
Realistically speaking probably not. The referrers page doesn't really indicate that I am. I get more from front-page recent updates and people sifting through pages of latest updates.

>>16946482
>come up with a bunch of organizations and groups for my story
>suck at coming up with names
WAKE ME UP

/wg/, I'm a writer with zero musical talent but I want to try writing some songs based on my novel just for fun. how do I get into that?

>>16954709
You start to learn music.

bake new thread pls :)))