/lit/ - Literature

>>16715582
Sorry anon. Go find some friends.

>>16715582
loser

>>16715582
Jesus is your friend

>>16715582
Crying because you must do better. You can do better.
This is an antisocial network

>>16715582
me too, anon.

>>16715582

How do I get a gf as a 22 kv with no friends who will graduate an English degree this spring with no prospects in life, no driver's license, and still living with my mom? (I also have no debt)

>>16715599
Yesterday I had fish and chips and a tub of strawberries and cream ice cream watching the election, it was good.

>>16715614
who's that?

>>16715614
Learn how to cook, and get a cat.

>>16715614

Get your drivers license and make friends. Look for a social circle with common interests. Get /fit/

>>16715615
Sweet image, anon. I had two bowls of incredibly good chili, a brownie, and a glass of milk.

>>16715592
You’re right, Butters. For once

>>16715624
The truth

>>16715614
1) get a job
2) get your own place
3) acquire one of the following:
a) money
b) fame
c) extroversion and comedic timing

>>16715624
*a dog

>>16715621
https://mobile.twitter.com/praxisbaby02
>>16715624
but I'm horny and lonely
>>16715625
I am /fit/ (can bench 315 close grip paused). Will try to get my license again but how do I make friends? I haven't had friends since highschool. It is easy to make friends in that type of environment but after that everyone already has their cliques formed and don't want anything to do with some loser stranger.

>>16715652
no, cats are cleaner, quieter, less work, and on average, cuter. Also, when was the last time you heard of a housecat mauling a child or something.

>>16715667
The making friends part is over-rated. If you don't have your own developed interests and personal hobbies then having friends will just wear you down.

>>16715648
How am I getting a job with an English degree and no connections and prospects? My own place with what money? Why would I move out if I have no money and get to stay here for free?

>>16715582
>he hasn't evolved to /x/ pill

>>16715582
>>16715582
>>16715582
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jWS6VxkZRA

LITERATURE

LDAR

>>16715675
Whatever I just want a gf. I'm horny and lonely.

>>16715667
that's a weird twitter profile

>>16715582
Don't cry anon, by happy that you have a fren.

>>16715652
Dogs are fine but a dog needs a designated occupation as a pack member, and they need to be kept outside of the house otherwise the house will invariably smell of dog. Cats require neither of those things and you have to earn a cat.

>>16715648
>c) extroversion and comedic timing
how

>>16715582
I'm not an ass hole
maybe I'm just a-social
I never feel the need to foster a friend
the idea of it seems weighty on my mind
alone it is easier and simpler to carry on

>>16715667
knowing how to cook things is a valuable life skill, and a hobby, and if you cook good food for chicks it makes their pussies wet and soft and that's what you want them to be like when you ask them if they want the dick

>>16715702
It's just some zoomer chick

>>16715648
You forgot:
4) Wash your penis
d) Clean your room

Thanks JP. Looking forward to your next book.

>>16715737
she's doing cocaine on camera wtf is she hispanic? she looks hispanic.

>>16715748
she is kashmiran

>>16715582
it's okay

>>16715706
OP is swimming in frens

>>16715599
last but not least become christian

>>16715614
just go for it.

>>16715754
I don't get it. Does she browse 4chan?

>>16715869
go for what
>>16715875
idk. i found her through following a bunch of leftie zoomer accounts and thought she was hot.

>>16715614
Girls dont mind how shit you are as long as you have personality and something interesting despite their reputation amongst lonely autists.
Be shameless and ask your male friends to introduce you to someone.

>>16715890
I don't have friends

>>16715881
>go for what
getting a girlfri- actually never mind, fuck you kid I'm not wiping your ass for you.

>>16715890
check this out https://youtu.be/dEP3MazTLkI

>>16715754
So ... chinese?

>>16715881
Are her tits fake?

>>16715690

>>16715911
That doesn’t look fake, no.

>>16715911
I don't think so. she like just turned 18.

>>16715911
Yes those are very fake. Tits are made out of mostly fat and thus don't hold shake like that when applied with pressure

>>16715910
what?

>>16715667
doubt bench

>>16715941
shut up twink boy

>>16715614
Get into the extreme jelqing community. Work on developing a longer thicker wang through stretching and pumping daily for 4-6 hours. It is possible to blow out your penor but it wasn’t like you were using it anyways. If you’re lucky in a few years, 4-6yrs, you might get yourself a monster pussy/prostate pummeler that you can make an Instagram account for and get all the ladies and gaybois

>>16715949
that shit can permanently damage your dick. you want a deformed dick? go for it.

>>16715582
w-wanna hang out anon?

>>16715949
i have a pretty average dick but im fine with it. anyway i dont think that is my problem my problem is that i am isolated and a loser. even if i managed to get a big dick that wouldnt fix the fact that i am isolated and a loser.

>>16715614
Work on fixing some of the problems obviously holding you back. Make friends before you worry about poon, if you can’t interact with people without the expectation of sex you will reek of desperation.
Also you’ll like your friends more in the long run.

>>16715970
oh honey you are so so wrong

>>16715960
I do.

>>16715972
ok where do i get friends? i graduate in the summer and i am doing zoom classes. what happens after? unemployment, isolation in my room with my books, and my mom nagging at me.

>>16715976
what?

>>16715981
Sure it’s possibly but if you don’t try you’ll never get a 10” x 3” vagina bat. Imagine how easy your life would be if you only had a 13” pussy impaler, you could just stick it in anyone’s butt and they would immediately start cumming then tell all their friends

>>16715999
lol

>>16715582
Everyone is my property.

>>16715999
Can't argue with those digits. Also, I'm feeling blackpilled tonight and will probably kill myself in a few years.

>>16715582
Don’t worry. Someday all of us will die and then we’ll know peace.

>>16716004
You’re all My children.
Now go play nice.

>>16715582
Same
I'm 23 and I haven't had any friends since middle school. 4chan is my only friend in this world.

>>16715999
chekt and rekt

>>16716018
24
Same here. Coronachan killed my few social relations.

>>16716014
Get a life butters

>>16716014
Auxilio Lacouture?

>>16716020
Same

>>16716014
the idea of butters being our /lit/ mom is strangely appealing to me. I don't like the fact that it is appealing to me at all.

>>16716026
Preferably one with me ;)

>>16715582
Same, you guys and /tv/ are my only friends. Even /ck/ and /int/ are too cool for me, and /his/ is filled with assclowns.

>>16716012
Will we?

Hello, /lit/. It's Mark Kozelek here. OP's situation touched me deeply, so I took it upon myself to write a song from his perspective, a day in the life, so to speak.

*tremolo finger picked suspended chords in open d minor tuning

It was a warm saturday morning when I awoke lonely and horny
I reached under my bed to grab my Macbook I've recorded so many songs on (so many songs)
And I marked the time that passed since when I walked into that Best Buy just off the I80
So many lonely hours in the warm glow of my make believe friend
But I had something else on my mind this morning
I opened an incognito tab
I reached in to my boxer shorts and pulled out my dick
The porn site had curated its recommended section based off my taste
And my heart burst from my chest when I saw those lovely, lovely words
Big black cock, that's what I want
Big black cock, that's what I want
Big black cock, that's what I want
Big black cock, that's what I want
Oh man, it's so wide, how will it ever fit?
I guess these questions we ask ourselves as we begin to age.
Now I rarely seen any blacks growing up
There was one family who lived down the cul-de-sac
They were pretty well off and I guess they were nice
I guess the northern ones are pretty hardy (pretty hardy)
They escaped up her and had to survive
And I'm sure jerking off to big blacks is just as bad
But I can't help but flip when I begin to see this action
I've seen some big ones in my day, you can bet
Like when I met that guy from bad brains on tour one evening
His bulge was big and it made me shy
I guess I've never been a well-endowed guy
Yes, it's true I'm insecure about my size
But so are you and are a billion other guys
But sometimes I dream that my dick is as big as this BBC
And that's when I can get pitchfork to finally respect me
I'd swing it around and just shake it from time to time
Big black cock, that's what I want
oh Big black cock, that's what I want
Big black cock, that's what I want
Big black cock, that's what I want

>>16716066
Noice

>>16716026
Rude.

>>16716034
>Auxilio Lacouture
Interesting.

>>16716055
Auntie, please.

>>16716066
Did you fap to BBC after typing this?

>>16716084
No, it was OP, you stupid piece of shit.

>>16716083
>Interesting
Yea, it's from The Savage Detectives and Amulet. She that she was the mother of all Mexican poets. Reminded me of what you said.

>>16716085
I don’t understand to this post? Plox halp

>>16716066
Why do you love black dicks, Mark?

>>16716094
it's just a trolling shitpost from a schizo.

>>16716085
Why would you respond to a post you didn’t type and did you or did you not uncontrollably fap to a giant nigger penis and how big in exact dimensions was said horse cock nigger dick?

>>16716095
Does that singer have a know obsession with horse cock nigger penors?

>>16716066
change pitchfork to Scaruffi and it's good to go on soundcloud for /mu/

>HORSE COCK NIGGER DICK WITH ALL KNOWN STDS AND ABORTED FETUSES

>>16716083
>Auntie, please.
why specifically auntie, butters?

please stop being racist guys

>>16716060
Do you watch sports anon? /sp/ is a pretty good board when there's games on

>>16716116
This thread has been hijacked by BBC. People literally cannot resist BBC.

>>16716120
RT is better

https://youtu.be/_wm5NrlpaCQ

>>16715582
Friendship is a spook

>>16716132
How high are the arches of your feet?

>>16716115
I am no one’s mother, and it just sounds nicer to my ears. If you wanna call me by anything like that, auntie is preferable.
Of course I prefer no sexual innuendo either, so, yeah.

>>16716132
based butters, always motherly.

>>16716132
I'm watching CNN, for the comedy

>>16716144
Fair enough.
>no sexual innuendo
Well, that's kinda guarenteed to happen, you being the only confirmed girl on this board filled with lonely guys and all.

>>16715582
I had a big group of friends from high school but now they're all gone, focusing on careers, kids, some ended up alcoholics, gambling addicts, one killed himself. I don't see any of them anymore. I only really talk to my parents now. Asides from that, this is the only social interaction I get. It's not that bad though I guess. You guys are autistic as fuck but I've had a lot of good laughs over the years, discovered a lot of good books. I told my therapist about this place and she thinks I should stop coming here and that I should stop reading philosophy. I don't think I can do it.

>>16716148
Heh
https://youtu.be/VbOdCrleMFo

>>16716180
who are you, really?

>>16716117
I don't, I've never been inclined to play or watch sports. The only time I get excited for a sport event is the world cup, and even then it's only for the laughs. This last one was the first time I watched with /sp/ and /int/ and it was pretty fun.

>>16716187
Me, or Jake Taper?

>>16716233
i want to smell your hair

>>16715952
My dick is already deformed, and I'm fine with it, could do with some girth, though

>>16715999
I got a pretty sizable penorum as thick as my forearm (skeleton) but you didn't account for the problem that you first have to find someone to stick it into before they can tell their friends.

>>16716014
Based.

>>16715614
get a prostitute so you can overcome the mental hurdle of being a kv.

>>16716014
butterfag i had the idea last night that i will compile your post in an ebook and sell it
can i use your picture on the cover?

>>16715582
>mfw I want internet friends, but I'm too shy to even do that.
I cannot engage with people unless forced to, or under complete anonymity.

>>16716115
>why specifically auntie, butters?

>>16717364
see
>>16715683

>>16715614
Literally me but without a degree. I am a NEET.
Considering suicide desu.

>>16717392
it's not worth it

What happened to all the hikki neet virgin losers of 8-10 years ago? Did they all grow up? I feel like the last one standing

>>16717348
I would but I have no money and don't know where to get a prostitute.

>>16718347
You live in the land of the free? Where prostitution is illegal? kek

>>16715599
>stay fit
go back to your autist self improvement board, faggot

>>16718371
I do yes I hate this country other than for its literature. I am in NY.

>>16718379
post chin

>>16715582
stay strong, brother.

>>16715599
Based double dubs

>>16718379
if you stayed fit you wouldnt be so miserable

>>16715582
Ive had a friendgroup since highschool and the election came up (we are not american) he is a flipino halfbreed and when i posted this meme when they started asking me about my political opinions he muted me and deleted my posts, think ive lost a friend. . Feels bad man, hard to believe someone gets this upset over politics but he lives with his parents and have multiple drug addictions so i guess i just feel bad for him now.

>/lit/ is my greatest nemesis

>>16720639
>NO... YOU REMEMBER, BOY

that was badass when i was a kid

>>16715706
>>16715759
based

>>16717352
No.

>>16720639
Literally me

>>16715648
In other words, learn how to be witty. Everyone has their own style, and it's a skill that's practiced, not given at birth.

>>16715729
This unironically. Food is the way to the human heart.

>>16716147
I REALLY like this picture

>>16716227
You don't have to really pay attention to the game or anything beyond deciding on a team that you're going to root for and seeing if they win. It's fun, as you know. There's a lot of other aspects in sports which are nice to discover and I find it very beneficial myself as a pastime for various reasons. Anyway, without going into it that's something that may be interesting and you'll be welcome with others sharing the interest.

I've been thinking about artisinal crafts as hobbies tonight too, there's a huge variety of useful things in that, and it can be a way to meet people.

I'm naturally good in a crowd and comfortable with meeting and engaging with new people, although I also value greatly my solitude and have an appreciation for being alone, I usually have kept cats as company, protection from vermin, and as watchdogs for intruders both seen and unseen.

>>16722004
why?