/lit/ - Literature

Delete /pol/

>>15541053
i understand my beliefs are wrong and i should make an effort to change but i can't shake them.
I've been thinking of suicide a lot more frequently lately.
I'm afraid that even if i did turn my life around i wouldn't be able to accept i completely wasted so much of it on nothing and I'd immediately lapse back into my depression.
i think about hanging myself from the stair rail or simply putting my head in the oven with the gas on.
i truly have no reason to live.

In my quarantine I have fallen into the trap of consooming Jewish mainstream media and between that and not being able to get outdoors and see friends in general I feel I am descending into insanity more and more

What kind of spider understands arachnophobia?

>>15541067
they're not here with you, you're here with them

I'm gonna say it: End of Evangelion was completely unnecessary, the TV ending was great as it was

I have fallen into a dark pit. I know it can only get darker. But by this point I am tired of pulling myself away, what for?

I want to lose my virginity before 2021.

I'm feeling a very intense need to get fucked that I've never had before

This world is created by people. Why can't I be one of them? I feel like I'll always be doomed to follow the rules prescribed by others. I feel like I'll never be the guy shaping the culture. It's like life is one big casino and I'm just another of the faceless shmucks throwing away their money into someone else's slot machine.

>>15541053
I wish I knew how to write a story without sounding like a robot with the same empathy of a pile of rocks

Why is everyone talking about IQ all of a sudden? Why is there a thread about India that is the least /lit/ thread I've ever seen here? What happened? Why is this happening to /lit specifically? Is it happening to other boards as well? Is /3/ suddenly talking about IQ and races instead of blender and graphics pipelines?

I can't stay anymore. I think I'm going to leave.

>>15541053
Birds were having fun in the rain :) i am content. I hope university classes resume in person for next year, I miss going to debating and talking to cool people.
>>15541079
Have you given therapy a shot? People talk a lot of shit about it but it is a great relief to talk to someone about your problems a couple times a month. iktf, but reasons to live aren't what you think they are, it is important to learn to appreciate the present moment and always keep in mind to not get emotional about the silly frustations of the industrial era. It's hard sometimes but there's a great wealth of beauty in nature, it took me 3 years of suffering to find it, but it is the greatest pleasure you may ever know. Whatever you do, I hope you do it with a clear mind.
>>15541115
A small one I'd presume
>>15541201
Based. EOE is the ending people want, but if you let yourself think about it for a while or if you truly understand the character of Shinji, the TV ending is much more impactful.
>>15541340
Sex is overrated. Tried it when I was 10 and decided while it was good material to jack off to, it's ultimately messy and a waste of time.

The world we live in is one that is dangerous and beautiful. The world we live in is one that is filled with danger and beauty and violence and joy and sadness and pain, yet I would not attempt to lower or raise any of these things; these things exist in a complex structure that neither nor any man has ever understood entirely, or can ever understand entirely. Perhaps there is beauty in danger, or perhaps danger is what makes beautiful things beautiful; a truly beautiful thing, to me, effaces my existence from this world, and the effacement of existence is the apotheosis of danger. I have no hope of discovering the truth. I have no aspirations to change the world. I only aspire to change myself. I only aspire to recognize beauty and danger more aptly. I only aspire to blur the lines. Sadness is important, as is laughter, and the song of birds. Dying is important, really, because it is living and because it is not. Anger is important because energy is important and also for other reasons. Danger is important and so is Beauty. Maybe Danger and Beauty are all that exist, and everything else slides down a white scale of medium?
Maybe everything exists. Maybe.But to look at a blue sky and say that the color blue exists, well,
What kind of statement is that? I mean, does it? Why does it matter if the color blue exists if the sky is blue?
Why does it matter if everything exists if I can talk about it anyway? Do I have to paralyze myself in confusion?
Is one’s own self trust considered worthless? It isn’t hard to know how things are if you trust yourself.
It’s quite hard to know how things are if you don’t. It’s impossible to know how things are if you only trust others. It’s impossible to know anything if you trust nothing; lack of trust isn’t knowledge, anyway. To live is to trust in one’s self, to die is also that, they are the same. To not trust in one’s self is not to live or die at all. Danger and Beauty exist in life and death, but Life does not equal Beauty, nor does Danger equal Death. Danger can be found in Life, Beauty can be found in Death. Death can be found in Life, Life can be found in Death. Life can be found in Beauty, Death can be found in Danger. All of these are true together and none of them are really false. Perhaps that is the only truth worth knowing? Perhaps that is the only truth that I will ever find. Perhaps that is the thing that I know. Maybe there are other things. I know that, I believe. Belief as a form of Knowledge unto itself carries the implication of Truth...well, I know that. My edge is sharpening and dulling, I cut through dreams and blunt myself on the edges of the world. I hammer into rocks and break, and am smelted into a knife. Eternal Blade! I cut and am cut. Kill and am killed. Eat, and be eaten. The danger is in the edge. The beauty is in the blade. The danger is in the blade. The beauty is in the handle. What more could I say?

>>15541053
ive come to dislike the modern day left more and more. and i recognize its an unwarranted dislike, because im too retarded to articulate clearly why the left is "wrong" or "stupid." i know some surface level stuff to, at best, give an elevator pitch of why the left is retarded, but it doesnt take more than a couple questions and some intellectual prodding before my position falls apart and i resort to "honestly, i dont know."
and this is weird, because 5 years ago i would have definitely called myself a liberal. perhaps the cliche that you become more conservative as you get older is true. but im still in a relatively shitty position in life, and some "leftist" policies would selfishly aid me
>am poor
>am in debt
i know its wrong, and often times i have to take a few moments to remind myself that my instant gut reaction isnt necessarily correct, but that doesnt change or explain why my usual first reaction to the left is disgust and contempt
they come off as phony. they come off as retards who thinks theyre not retarded. and most of all, they come off as hypocrites.

depois dessa quarentena só vou ficar mais antissocial!!

Quem é só uma forma que deve ter um porquê. E o que eu sou é um homem de mascara.
Mas é claro que já, não questionei seus poderes de observação apenas enfatizei o paradoxo de perguntar a um mascarado quem ele é.
Mas nessa noite auspiciosa permita-me que em lugar de uma alcunha corriqueira eu sugira o carater dessa persona dramatica.
Vuala.
A sua vista um humilde veterando de Vudeville, trajado com vestes de vitima e vilão pelas viscitudes do destino.
Esse semblante não me verniz vaidade, é um vestigio de vox populi agora vazia e esvaidecida.
Porém essa valorosa visitação de uma vexação passada se encontra vivificada e fez um voto de vencer os vermes venais e virulentos que se valem do vicio e valorizam a violação violenta depravada e voraz da vontade.
O unico veredicto é a vingança uma vendeta tida como vontiva não por vaidade pois o valor e a veracidade de tal deve um dia vindicar o vigilante e o virtuoso.
Verdade como esta vivida verborragia ja se torna assaz verboso. Permita-me que eu acrescente que é uma grande honra para mim
conhece-la. A senhorita pode me chamar de V

Who are you?
Who is just a form that must have a why. And what I am is a masked man.
But of course, I haven't questioned his powers of observation yet, I just emphasized the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
But on that auspicious night, allow me to suggest the character of that dramatic persona instead of a common nickname.
Vuala.
In his view, a humble Vudeville veteran, dressed in the garments of a victim and a villain by the viscitudes of destiny.
This countenance does not give me vanity, it is a vestige of vox populi now empty and faded.
However, this courageous visitation of a past vexation is enlivened and made a vow to overcome the venal and virulent worms that use addiction and value the depraved and voracious violent violation of the will.
The only verdict is vengeance, a vendetta considered to be vain, not out of vanity, since the value and veracity of this must one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
Truth as this lived verbiage already becomes quite verbose. Allow me to add that it is a great honor for me
know it. You can call me V

I need to stop drinking. I need a digital detox as well. I'm constantly self sabotaging and I don't know why. I don't even enjoy drinking anymore, it's just force of habit, like how if you're addicted to porn you force yourself to jerk off in hopes of feeling something but once you've coomed you're just empty inside.

I hate the fact that we can't meaningfully talk about a connection between anime and literature. The mods always delete any threads on here that we have which are anime-related. They do this despite leaving all the blatant /pol/ threads and /r9k/ threads up.

I'm actually fascinated by what interplay might exist between /a/ and /lit/. For my part, I love anime and manga, but I also love literature, and I find myself reading manga one moment and then reading a book from the Canon the next. I'm a writer myself, and if I'm honest with myself my exposure to anime and manga has bled into my work. Sometimes when I am writing interactions between characters, and go back and read it later, I am surprised by how much it feels like certain slice of life anime I have watched. Not in any exaggerated or cartoony way, but in the way that some anime, like Azumanga Daioh, tend to be extremely skilled at capturing moments in time and stretching them out into infinity. This is definitely a sensation that, in its own way, creeps into my writing. Not exactly, of course, because you can't precisely translate something from a visual medium into a written medium. But the sensation does seem to translate, or it does to me.

niggers
refresh
niggers
refresh
niggers
refresh
niggers
refresh
niggers

https://youtu.be/EN1SJT76JoY

It’s getting late and for whatever reason I can’t sleep. My back is hurting like hell and I’m staring at the shadowy tree outside my window. I wish I could read in the dark, then I wouldn’t have to strain my eyes with light when it’s dark out. Also, it’d be a useful way for making myself sleepy. It’s really annoying actually, I get very tired from reading when it’s an inconvenient time to be tired, but if I need to fall asleep literally nothing in the world could help me. The sky is an ashy purple, like an old man’s lip, and the tops of trees caress it when the wind blows. Summer nights change a lot with age, not that I’m very old, but everything changes a lot. Right now there are no fireflies, water fights, cookouts, infatuations, or anything that made being young so beautiful. I shouldn’t say that though, I’m really still young but I guess it makes sense to complain as I get older.

>>15543214
Please quit drinking. I know how much better you’ll feel after two weeks of abstaining. You will thank yourself for the effort it takes and the reward given to deny these simple pleasures. I’m rooting for you, anon.

Im just a coward and for me its better no do anything than try and do random things.

>>15543214
What's something you think you can do instead?
I know it's not exactly healthy to replace a vice with something else, but if you can at least distract yourself, especially at the times of day you feel the need to drink (or use the computer if you wanna digital detox) it'll be a whole lot easier.
Idle hands are the devil's playthings and whatnot.
What is something not too ambitious that you can replace it with?

Do I have to finish a book once I started it? Im 2/3rds through. Should I just push on through?

>>15544662
Depends how long the book is. 1/3 of In Search of Lost Time is about 2000000 pages, 1/3 of The Stranger is about 3 pages

On the one hand I do truly feel terrible for all I have done to your family but holy fuck, have some compassion for me and understand my actual feelings. I don't give the slightest fuck about bazinger. Hearing him ramble about bazinger for two hours was hell on fucking Earth. I can't stand anyone in your family either btw. I only went to Wisconsin because my dad said if I did and was nice to you he would buy me a box of donuts and jug of coffee from Dunkin' Donuts. Have a great life and I mean it but holy fuck, some people are just not compatible. I am not compatible for many people. Hell, you could make a list spanning five states of people I am incompatible with. I genuinely hope I never see another bazinga episode ever again, even if by accident.

>>15544500
I got out of rehab 3 months ago. Except for my physical condition, and by that I mean nothing else than the absence of withdrawal symptoms, nothing much has changed.

>>15541101
Society as in friendship is the only thing keeping ppl sane. Corona or no corona i had lost society and that's when shit gets a lot harder

W-what's the best bazinga??? What the best bazinga episode??? Best bazinga?? Best bazinga episode???

Dude, I don't watch bazinga, I don't want to think about bazinga, I don't want to see bazinga. I hated bazinga even as an idiot kid and I certainly fucking hate it now. I don't need any bazingas nor do I want them. Even 40 years from now I will still hate bazinga

>>15543564
Look into visual novels. They're the missing link between the two.

If someone's got an uneasy smile on their face and is rolling their eyes they do not genuinely enjoy the situation. I am sorry but this is for everyone here. Learn to read facial expressions. Harassing someone on the internet will not make them like you either, it just annoys them further. I am sorry but does watching bazinga and slapstick with your family genuinely sound like something that would interest me? Holy fuck, dude. I literally had to drink 3/4ths a bottle of alcohol at that party to stand them.

>>15541067
Quite the damning quote they have there. Had to go find the full picture in the archive.

These last few years I was the happiest I'd been in a long time, my situation had changed and I'd finally managed to improve my poor mindset and make progress on my personal projects. Through the isolation I can feel myself regressing back to where I was at my lowest, and it feels like there's nothing I can do about it. I'm scared that I won't be able to find another job, reconnect with my loved ones, and that things will be the same that they were a few years ago except I'll have the frustration of having known something better. I've had nothing but time for months and yet I'd made more progress on my novel while pursuing my masters, upholding a social life, and working 20 hour weeks than I have at any point in the last few weeks.

I've wasted all of my 2020 so far when the most important event of my life is just a month away. Fool I am.

last friday night the protests at city hall turned into a riot that spilled onto our street. people were burning dumpsters, a bicyclist got hit by a car, some other people looted a UPS truck right beneath our window. I was afraid of the violence and disgusted by the looting. some guy taking a selfie in front of a burning dumpster. selfish chaos. within the hour, though, a line of riot cops pushed the mass of rioters down our street and presumably arrested them somewhere out of sight. the last thing I saw was two scruffy white guys with their hands up, walking backwards against the black line of police. since then, the protests have peacefully operated during daylight hours, organized by BLM and the NAACP. for over a week now, crowds of hundreds of people have rounded the same three city blocks over and over shouting the same slogans with dissonant timing. there's no unison. the protests are not subsiding, but they're not changing either.

I really do think cities like these are hell. the endless conurbation is alienating. schizophrenics are everywhere. they're digging through dumpsters for nothing and overdosing and hitting each other with frying pans. nobody but college students has a community. everyone is suspicious of everyone. 60% of the people are living in debt hell where they pay their car loans and student loans and phone loans off $50/month at a time. all the plants are the same plant planted by an uncaring city official. all the material objects come in boxes from cloning factories in china. all the buildings are efficient. I think these are characteristics of hell, and I've spent the last year wondering what kind of force it would take to unseat the mass of roots that makes all of that shit necessary.

the one thing the police have that the protestors don't have is hierarchy and order. if the protesters were marching in step, chant in time, like a military formation, they would be 50% more threatening without the need for any additional weapon.

the media around the protests is nauseating: the "If you're silent to the injustice, you propagate it", the sentiment that white privilege is an original sin that must be cleansed, the sentiment that every mediocre person is capable of doing something, and that if you can't do something "you should at least donate" to these bloated charities, bloated protests with ill-formed demands, and no one with vision leading the thing. no leader. no charisma. just mass.

the protests are made up of the same roiling mass of discord that the city is, and I don't see a revolution in it.

>>15544817
>damning
in what way?

>>15545243
>We do not condemn protesting for this reason but we do condemn protesting for that reason.

>>15545243
Actually I'll put it a different way.
>We do not condemn breaking quarantine to gather in large numbers to protest racism, but we do condemn gathering in large numbers to protest being quarantined.

>>15544673
>/lit/ does math

There was a nigger
And he was a digger
The hole he was digging was bigger and bigger
Inside this fine hole our welfare-chigger
Went deeper and deeper like a sinking jigger
Policeman then came and let out a snigger
Then he was surprised by jump of ditchdigger
Swiftly and soundly he the pulled the trigger
The body then fallen of this happed gravedigger
And inside the hole was one more dead nigger

Is this any good? I had fun writing it.

>>15544500
I know how good it can feel to be sober for longer periods of time. But then it doesn't, and drinking makes you feel good instead, until it doesn't. And so it goes back and forth.

>>15544625
>What's something you think you can do instead?
Read, clean my apartment. I know what I should do, I was just feeling particularly shit at this moment. I'm sure a lot of you people have it worse than me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1h2NeUF2as

How can something so gay, go so hard? That's what I want to know.

>>15541053
No, it's the ones who settle who regret it. They settle for friends and lovers who don't understand. They settle on love - not out of inspiration and admiration - but desperation and a need for reassurance. This is how most people live and select their partners: it doesn't matter to them who is actually in front of them, true friendship and intimacy can go fuck themselves, right? So they just grab whoever they think is available, someone replaceable - and they know they themselves are replaceable. Most couples don't even like each other as friends, as people. No, they like their partners by what they can "get" out of them, and the person in front of them can go fuck themselves. Here's another funny thing: most people don't know what they want even for themselves, they don't know what they're even about, so they're pushed around and wishy washy - then they get with a broad who drags them down, or some bloke who chokes their spirit with his mediocrity.

No, my time, my energy, my life is too precious to deal with someone who doesn't understand or care about the hill, and I would rather spend my energy getting to that hill. Art is beautiful, stories are beautiful, and they're powerful and eternal and just so human - and this is the hill I want to die on. So I want someone who understands how powerful and beautiful it is as well. I want to be someone who can inspire and shake people, and I want to love someone who can look at my work - which is the kernel of me anyway - and be inspired and shaken. I want someone my work can destroy - wait no, not destroy, but uplift.

This is what I plan to do: To be ambitious with art, ambitious with life, ambitious with love.

>>15546790
I can honestly say that I've been asked a million times why I play games. And I normally just shrug and say "It's a hobby.", but that's a lie. Because when I'm in game, I'm at home. From the flames of cataclysm to the icy mountains of Tamriel, anywhere I venture, is a place I love and know. My entire life people preach that I could be anything that I wanted to be. But when I told them I wanted to be the captain of a ship, a spaceship, THE spaceship that saves humanity. That I wanted to be Commander Shepard they told me I need to get a grip on reality. And to them to them a grip on a reality means the American dream, working nine to five crammed up in a tiny cubicle having two-point-five kids, a two story suburban house and a white picket fence. I divorce once, and I'd have debt into my early thirties because I took some bullshit university degree that's suppose to help me in the end.

This isn't reality, this is just a dull outlook on it. Now I understand it's human nature to achieve greatness, but I can do this as Commander Shepard, I don't need a degree. And if I want to go on an adventure I don't ever have to leave the comfort of my home. Yet, people spend an entire salary to travel and I can't help but laugh. I've single-handedly stopped a reign of ancient wyverns from destroying a nation, but before I could do that do I had to:

Learn their language. Become a master in Swordsmanship, Smithing, Archery, Defense, Magic, Speech, Hunting and Thieving!

Not to mention I had to take down an entire fleet of assassins along with a brigade of smugglers before I could even START my lessons in Dragon's Speak. I've always enjoyed an adventure, but I hated pawning my limbs to afford an eighteen-hour car ride. And aside from being told that I can enjoy a white-picket fence at the end of my career, all my years as a student was balance between Fractal Formulas and believing I never be able to love which is literal INSANITY. I've saved Princess Peach. I wanted to be the guy, and I became the guy. I saved Bandage Girl. And I've been Link for generations just to save Princess Zelda. But yet, I'm the eternal virgin, I'm the guy that's never going to love.

And sometimes this shit doesn't make sense to me, why people assume that I need to be out doing something and away from home to have fun when I have my own reality grasped between my hands. I have my own world at my fingertips, if I screw something up I can rewind time. I can't do that in real life, but when I'm in game I'm free to what I please, when I plEEEase, I'm free to enjoy things the way I want to. I can build my own Kingdom and lead my people to freedom because I'm the mind behind the game. I'm the one who enjoys these games.

I am a gamer. And I always will be.

>>15541663
There is another Letter that two lines cross diverge on

>>15541053
/pol/ is just on break while we wait for the shills to stop shitting up the board with "ANTIFA WINS" slide threads (that are entirely unsubstantiated in the wake of posts on any website that isn't twitter) so we can go back to holding our own fucking book clubs and not bothering you.
You think we WANT to be here and play nice with you haughty philosophers? Please, tell me more about your book you wrote you won't tell me the name of cause doxxing.

I'm sorry. I'm under a lot of stress.

>>15543564
The best you can do is talk to other light-novel fans and try to circle jerk for a bit. Anime as a medium is losing my respect. Last REALLY good anime I watched was Murdoc Scramble. Everything has been waifu bait non-porn.

>>15546790
Give me a time on the clock