/lit/ - Literature

>>15213141
I need to start thinking long term but it's hard. Everything worthwhile just takes too much time.

I want to shoot gallons of cum inside asuka with my big roman cock

Socialism can ONLY work in one country

Because pro-social behavior only works when there is genetic similarity between the members of society. Jewish (Marxian, Trotskyite) socialism, with its internationalist tendencies, only came about because when it was created Jews were a people without a nation, so they wanted everybody be the same. There is a autobiographical element in every philosophy.

PS: mods suck circumcised dick

Why does anyone like Asuka?

>>15213195
My thoughts exactly

I just found out that once you stop loving the works of Schiller, then you become a lost soul.

Coincidentally, I need to freshen up my German anyway, so why not go for the old romantic masters.

>>15213237
Should I learn German or Russian? I can only learn one.

>>15213183
Nazbowl drivel

>>15213195
I like aggressive women

>>15213243
Native English speaker? German will come way faster. Plus half of philosophy is written in it. I don't know Russian but apparently the big Russian writers don't lose much in translation either.

>>15213256
i want to bash your shit face against a brick wall but unironically

Do you guys think things will get better or worse coming out of coronavirus?

>>15213349
in what regard? economically? spiritually?

>>15213398
Open-ended

I don't fully grasp the hatred for animal control (cops). While I've had some disagreeable encounters with them in the past, I recognize the critical role they play in maintaining order and corralling the shall we say those more restive members of society. Without enforcement there is no law. Nor would I go so far as to call policing a necessary evil, I'd prefer to call it a necessary unpleasantness. I understand the hesitance to embrace gun-totting authorities who reserve the power to cuff and jail you and who themselves are not policed (who watches the watchmen?) and whose ranks are peppered with megalomaniacs. But again, the world without them would be even worse.

The world is particularly aghast at American police, who shoot and arrest more citizens than any other force in the world. This anomaly is explained by America's radical gun culture and the attending increased danger associated with police work. Any ego-tripping, belligerent drunkard in America could pull out a gun and so cops are more vigilant than elsewhere. I respect the difficult and stressful work that police do.

>>15213519
This isn’t really historically accurate. The only real police force we need are county sheriffs to enforce judgements, everything beyond that is arbitrary and capricious perpetuation by a totalitarian regime. The escalation and militarization of US police is a relatively new epidemic. The current structure of policing traces back to slave catchers, not law enforcers as some sort of imaginary beat cop and detective partner solving crimes. Legislatures pass laws criminalizing activities of the poor and of minorities in order to perpetuate a workforce and product for the industrialized private sector of the prison system thanks to the exception clearly written in the 13th amendment. The systemic oppression perpetuated by the forces is far beyond “oh some cops kill because there are more niggers with guns on the streets” is absurd hyperbole. We don’t have to have any of this. We were so close to not needing long form prisons until the war on drugs happened people wrote articles about the elimination of prisons all together that academics and judges took seriously. You are buying into the propaganda and the duel choice fallacy if you are framing your opinions on the presupposition that’s the way things are is just a more intense form of the ideal.

>>15213349
I'd bet it'll mostly return to normal. Civilization will adapt. The reason the virus was so initially disruptive is that there was no plan or civic subroutine to handle its unexpected emergence. Now the appropriate responses to it will be developed and installed so it won't happen again as badly.

There is no revolutionary potential to its disruptions. Some socialists hope that it will trigger a collapse in capitalism and working class revolt but this is once again wishful thinking. Jeff Bezos and his kin have seen a $280 billion increase in their personal wealth. Bezos himself has become a capitalist singularity, making $25 billion in the course of a few months while his workers drop dead from infections. Nothing is being done about it and in fact the political class is handing over money to them by the truckload in the form market stimulus. Depending on your values this is either a good or bad thing but it won't change anything.

Eventually everything will reboot and return to normal. Depending on your ideological persuasion the much hoped for worsening or betterment of society will not come to pass. Little will be learned from it and given a few years it will barely be remarked upon.

>>15213141
god damn it I love asuka

>>15213591
the war on drugs really is exceptionally retarded

>>15213594
The Spanish Flue was one of the main reasons we had a labor movement in the first place. Do you think that because of wealth being even more consolidated than it was during the great depression era that a new labor movement won't start? Globalism and all that?

>>15213591
>county sheriffs to enforce judgements
What is to be done about cities in the millions?

> The escalation and militarization of US police is a relatively new epidemic.

This is a direct consequence of the sale of military grade firearms to the public. It's effectively an arms race. See the North Hollywood shootout of '97. The police were up against heavily armed and armored robbers and had nothing but ineffective service pistols and shotguns to combat them with.

>Legislatures pass laws criminalizing activities of the poor and of minorities in order to perpetuate a workforce and product for the industrialized private sector of the prison system thanks to the exception clearly written in the 13th amendment

I'm aware of the whole theory that police to protect the interests of private property and to reign in the working class. I still think it's needed. If we lived in a more equal society with better public institutions there would be less incentive to corral the working class and incentivize deviance, but that is not the case. Over-policing is a symptom.

>not needing long form prisons
That's quaint and astonishingly naive.

>>15213591
Based.
I wish there were more burgers like you.

Inceldom is just a massive cope

>>15213690
???? How can something involuntary be a cope?

>>15213690
Cope for what?

>>15213646
The conditions are entirely different now. The early 20th century was a time of intense and sweeping political catalyzation. The labor movement was very strong, and the conditions were ripe for change. Today the class consciousness of the proletariat has been skillfully fragmented, distracted and misdirected by the capitalist class. Collective bargaining broken up, and the political system completely seized. There is no will or organizational structure to labor. As Warren Buffet said, “There’s class warfare, all right, but it’s my class, the rich class, that’s making war, and we’re winning.”


Look at the silly protests happening in America, people are complaining about not being able to get haircuts, not that Jeff Bezos could afford to provide hazard pay to his workers. The working class has been utterly disoriented and misinformed.

>Do you think that because of wealth being even more consolidated than it was during the great depression

We have greater relative inequality but the general standard of living has raised. We aren't dealing with an issue as devastating as the Great Depression, which was caused by a endogenous market failure rather than an external shock (pandemic).

>Globalism
Globalism has greatly empowered the capitalist class and given them new instruments to secure their position, so yes.

>>15213676
>What is to be done about cities in the millions?
Court systems in major cities seem to enforce civil and criminal judgements pretty well. At one point there weren't prosecutor offices. People took private action for criminal wrongdoings.
>This is a direct consequence of the sale of military grade firearms to the public. It's effectively an arms race. See the North Hollywood shootout of '97. The police were up against heavily armed and armored robbers and had nothing but ineffective service pistols and shotguns to combat them with.
No, this is a direct consequence of the sale of military graade firearms to a *certain* sector of the public. There were statutes specifically outlawing blades, batons, bludgens, and knives because they knew the poor couldn't afford guns. Blaming this on the second amendment garbage is like throwing it to the "american culture" aether or the "it's about mental illness!" without directing a frame of reference. Modern bans on firearms are thanks to mafia and the black panthers. The esclation of the opposing side isn't because of some justification from a robbery. It's a way to control the population.
>I'm aware of the whole theory that police to protect the interests of private property and to reign in the working class. I still think it's needed. If we lived in a more equal society with better public institutions there would be less incentive to corral the working class and incentivize deviance, but that is not the case. Over-policing is a symptom.
I think I agree with this.
>That's quaint and astonishingly naive.
It wasn't at the time.
This is fun. Thanks anon, I needed to get my mind off the pandemic with some old timey issues.

>>15213717
>>15213726
They’ve collectively created a massive system of excuses to not better themselves when their only true problem is that they choose not to embrace life.

>logging in wow and looking at the night sky does more for me than looking at the actual sky
life would be a lot better if it had music to acompony it

>>15213798
Brah, like... you can get headphones, or a small portable speaker. If you had the knowledge of a wide breadth of music, you can always have your life's soundtrack playing.
>>15213755
Yeah, I'm pretty doomer mode right now. I failed the bar exam recently again. So like, what's the point of anything yo? I've rambled about this stuff in previous threads before so I don't really need to vent about it anymore.
Am I supposed to feel dead inside after a long introspective meditation?

>>15213141
I want to write a Confucian commentary on biblical wisdom literature such as proverbs,Job & Qouleth. However I have only just begun to understand Confucianism having finished reading Ta Huseh and fear that by the time I finish reading al the books i need to read and whats more by the time I begin to understand them I will have lost interest in the project.

Secondly Confucianism is without a doubt a superior religion to many others.

>>15213349
Economically, no it won’t get better but otherwise it will go back to normal with just a heightened sense of caution regarding things like viruses. From what I understand, it’s been pretty common in Asia to see people walking around with face masks for quite some time. It’s likely that’s how things will be in the West.

>>15213909
I gotta say, it's gonna suck to be unemployed and homeless, but I look dope as fuckin in this black mask I bought.

>>15213519
I have an issue with cops but at the same time have sympathy because I used to work in a job where I interacted with them a lot and it’s genuinely an extremely shitty, stressful, and dangerous job. I totally understand how these armed encounters go bad because I’ve seen it myself. It’s just that they end up as useful idiots on a power trip so often.

>>15213349
i hope the quarantine forces normalfaggots to slow down and chill the fuck out. it wont though.

I wish i knew more cool fancy words

>sent batch of queries in early march
>still getting rejections in
jfc kill me. i'm also tired of living in a slum-box and tired of being poor, and i need to see a doctor and get a few health issues taken care of at long last. and now i have no job.

>>15213141
>Rei 1
>Asuka 2
This is correct

>>15213141
All I have ever wanted to do is join the military but now that I have joined I find myself having so much trouble adjusting to the discipline, to great attention to detail required and even to the people I find them more in the mold of Tacitus's legionaries, his compliant about volunteer soldiers in Annals, than the heroic paladins of the empire which I want so desperately to emulate. More than that I hate the tedium of Navy life, that we do jack shit day and day out , I feel just as purposeless,powerless and lost now as I did as a civilian.

Whats more my craving for these things have has only increased and I have started to have grandiose fantasy of raising a regiment of irregular cavalry and fighting on some distant frontier. Away from the martinets and ruler sticklers as to be either shot down A scrimmage in a Border Station --
A canter down some dark defile --
Two thousand pounds of education
Drops to a ten-rupee jezail --
The Crammer's boast, the Squadron's pride,
Shot like a rabbit in a ride!

or by some circuitous circumstance be forced to commit suppuku.

I love my big dick

>>15213983
You just gotta learn em and work em in one by one. It’ll feel disingenuous at first, but eventually you’ll be throwin’ all sorts of five dollar words at people. Then they’ll shout “grad speak!” at you and lynch ya.

>>15213348
I agree with you.

>>15214042
who is this semen demon?

>>15214096
Allahu Alem

I wish people would read my posts before responding and attacking me. I wish /lit/ had a larger average IQ.

>>15214094
>>15213348
Based. Fuck butterdyke

>>15213141
i was eating bread the other day and became acutely afraid of death with no continuance of my soul or afterlife- started hyperventilating and stuff. never happened to me before. im young and healthy but it was odd. i said a prayer and felt calmer but its stayed in the back if my mind since.

I was just riding my bike when a junkie jaywalked across the street directly in my path. I would have crashed into him had I not come to an abrupt stop and flipped over to avoid him. The junkie started cackling and jumping around. After I composed myself, he started pestering me for money, but I was flustered and didn't have any cash to give him. Upon closer inspection the junkie was uncouth and looked as if he would pull a knife on me. I tried to ride away, but my chain was unaligned, so he insisted that he could fix it. After a moment of hesitation I allowed him to. I thanked him and then slowly stepped back before riding away. Incidentally, my bike is brand new, not even a week old, and it took some slight damage, but nothing too serious. I will probably have to go to the bike shop to fix one of the gear shifters on my bike's handle. Fucking junkies.

>>15214111
I love you, anon.

>>15213183
Based and redpilled

>>15213756
Kind of a dumb question, but wouldn't the increase in incarcerated citizen correlate directly with the increase in said citizens overtime and, more importantly, in actual laws? Also, I'm not even talking Old West, but I'm pretty sure people were more often killed than incarcerated back in the days.

Interesting how relationship posts/posts on women have seemed to uptick now that it's spring. I think the quarantine is on part exacerbating things due to everyone being isolated.

>>15214042
Well at least you’re getting a decent wage m8. Just don’t become a poof while you’re alone at sea eh haha

>>15213349
I don't think things will come to a head just yet but it will definitely intensify coming out of this.

Before this there was
>Increasing rhetoric against China
>Greater stratification of wealth
>An economy more and more decoupled from reality.

And now we have
>Increasing rhetoric against China
Look how pissed the West has gotten over China's handling of the virus.
>Greater stratification of wealth
So many small businesses are going to close down by the time this is over. So many corporations will survive simply by being too big to fail.
>An economy more and more decoupled from reality.
This is tied with the unemployment rate but also look at the economy vs the unemployment rate. The Dow, NASDAQ, etc are based on these zombie megacorporations that are essentially branches of the government at this point. We'll see the stock market having less and less relation to the situation on the ground.

We'll definitely see a major event within the next five years. I think the status quo will be unrecognizable ten years from now.

>>15214309
they are enough plain and loose women here that wont have any problems with *that* should i need to fire some blanks.

>>15214359
you should read "the sea is my brother"

>>15213141
cute pic

>>15214369
The novel by Jack Kerouac? Why so?

>>15213153
pick something arbitrary and understand that it's the commitment that makes it right

>>15214380
I meant to quote the navy guy, thought it was his post. It's kind of a joke, because I haven't read the novel, but I have read the novel where Kerouac talks about what motivated him to write it.

>>15214359
Of course this could be the beginning of the end and things could just unravel at this point, society collapses and we all starve to death or die violently in search of paper towels.

>>15214111
HEY FUCK YOU ANON. I READ YOUR POST AND NOW IM ATTACKING YOU. But I love you too, I hope youre doin' good, bud.
>>15214260
I suppose those corrolate, but the increase in actual laws was the drug war laws. The increase in prison population rose quicker. And yeah, many of the strange aspects of our legal system (criminal side) can be trased back to the idea that most crimes were punished with death. Hammurabi code is a dope read btw.
>>15214382
Not that dude, but it's so hard to keep that in mind when doing the actual thing. I can hype man myself into doing work or reading, but my mind gets involved into whatever I'm doing and since covid stuff, I've stopped being able to get into the flow state. Normally the hypeman into flow state worked all the time. Now there's this anxiety block between it.

>>15214042
pranic breathing, shadow work, transformation mastery

>>15214391
Jack Kerouac is the biggest pseud of all. He's why every degenerate thinks their lives are somehow 'deep' because they selfishly seek pleasure while occasionally spouting some bullshit about 'Buddhism' and like 'Oneness' man. Here's my Kerouac poem:

Yaddi yaddi Dalai Lama
I went down to the San Fransisco Bay
I saw a Negro down by the Tenderloin
I fucked a girl inside a barn.

His whole career was being good-looking and a degenerate sociopath. He contributed nothing to literature. Fuck Kerouac. I'm glad he's dead.

Ginsberg was also a degenerate but at least you could feel some depth, some search for meaning in his poems. Kerouac just wrote poems because that was the 'cool' thing to do. The world is better off without him.

>>15214467
t. uggo cope

>>15214531
Prove me wrong. What did he ever contribute aside from being a degenerate and hastening the collapse of the West?

>>15213256
Yes. NazBol is the future.

>>15214583
I will never get behind NazBol simply for the fact that the name sounds like a Goblin

>>15214467
true even burroughs didnt like him

>>15213258
>women
>Asuka

>>15213195
I watched Eva when I depressed virgin 16 year old, Asuka was grill i felt like I could conquer since (as a viewer) i knew her bravado was all a front

would the modern right wing movement be able to survive without anime?

>>15213141
The real political axis is how comfortable you are with murder

>>15213258
either a repressed homosexual or received far to much protection and care from mommy as an adolescent.

>>15214724
More like political AXES amirite?

>>15214718
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kkBseVTUow

>>15214741
lol

>>15214754
why does everybody hate bill gates

>>15214765
Partly jealousy, partly because I find his involvement with this whole scenario suspicious, but mostly because I bet his organs taste delicious.

Just think, he probably gets the finest organs transplanted from all over the world. Lungs from a Sherpa, heart from a Kenyan distance runner, all inside long pork of the Angle variety. Slab him up with some butter and a side of corn and mashed potatoes, serve to a comforting rendition of his wife screaming from a cage, and you have yourself an exquisite meal of Bill Burguignon

>>15214805
the last time people tried to eat the rich in france the country nearly collapsed

>>15214823
Good thing Bill doesn't live in France then.

>>15214823
The French weren't nearly as good at cooking back then

>>15214875
Too bad for Bill!

>>15213195
Because she is undeniably the best girl

>>15214765
It's weird, the left hates him because he's rich and trying to privatize duties of the government during a time of incompetent leadership. The right hates him because... he's a (((democrat)))?

I'm struggling hard anons. Being alone for this long is starting to force me to face parts of myself I've never had to face before. I don't like any of my friends, I wish they would just leave me alone. I wish I wasn't a fag, I wish I could be normal and get married and have children. I can't enjoy lit or music or anything anymore, I just sleep. I want to be done with everything and move on. I have no one to turn to but God and I'm afraid he hates me too. I wish I hadn't ruined my brain when I was a teenager, I wish I loved my parents more, I wish I wasn't so afraid of everything.

>>15214000
This

>>15215365
All those things you listed seem like external desires. Tasks to accomplish. A checklist society forced upon you. Who are you? What do you already have? Do the things you've achieved and collected make you happy now? What makes you think those things you want will make you any more happy than you already are? Come to accept yourself as much as you think you'd accept the person you wish you were. I've been meditating and journaling a lot these past few days, and I've had to face some ugly self reflection, but without it, how will I know the things I want are truly the things I want in life? I don't want any of the things you listed, but why is that? Why does normalcy torture me so much, yet you crave those tastes of it?

I gave in and posted on /soc/ in the face rate thread. I wanted to know where I sit objectively and I got a lot of responses saying that I'm ugly. It's really quiet soul crushing for some reason, I mean I always knew I was hopelessly unattractive but I guess I never had to deal with it seriously. I'm just contemplating now how painfully alone my unattractiveness makes me. I probably won't ever experience love unless I settle for some single mom in her late 30s or some obese hag.

>>15215634
There’s a lot you can do to fix it/cover it up. Jaw strengthening over time, lose weight, use facial creams and masks, either shave or figure out what facial hair copes (just like how certain sunglasses fit certain facial shapes) get the right haircut, pluck your eyebrows right. There’s a lot of work that goes into improving your facial looks that are all proactive. To keep it /lit/ related I’m actually reading American psycho.

>>15213141
>>15215179
>work remotely for a few hours a day with the same fulltime pay
>head to the town beach and lakeside trails everyday, for running exercise or just a calming walk
>more time to teach myself songs on the Kalimba thumb piano
>hop on zoom and discord to talk to the lads every now and then
>more time to walk the dog and play fetch
>more time to make progress through my books
>more time to work on my own writing
>more time to do freelance video editing for fun and money
>more time to work on my own multimedia art
>more time to just sit pleasantly and do nothing
>just more time to sleep and breathe in general


Although I feel a severe conflict knowing that the world is rotting and many decent people are out there drowning in their own lungs, I am really enjoying this. The air is clean, the highways are quiet, and I see more animals out and about in the abandoned town center. It is as if the whole world was a tensed muscle, finally relaxed and happy in its rest as the strain of human activity is relieved, giving way to a primeval decay and paradise of sleepy overgrowth. Even the lawn of town hall goes unmowed. I feel the relaxation of the natural world bringing warmth into my body, and although I do like other people I have always enjoyed being alone. I have always enjoyed the feeling of empty places. As terrible as it may be to say this as so many terrible things are happening, I think something really special will leave the world once the COVID-19 pandemic ends. No matter the cause, there is great wisdom to be found when we are forced to slow down, when we are forced to stop and think.

>>15214727
Only actual repressed homos and NPCs think liking the odd masculine trait on a female is gay.

>>15215689
My skull is just straight up weird shaped. It's not deformed but it's long and unsightly. I don't think there's much I can do when the most basic element of my head is fucked.

>>15213141
How can I stop being risk averse? I realize it entails sacrifice, I'm just not sure how to do it without "going bust" as it were.

>>15215634
>tfw handsome enough that women throw themselves at me but I'm too autistic and fuck it up every time

Which is worse? I fucking hate myself.

>>15213195
rei is lifeless

>>15213141
I am even more tired than two days ago. I have to finish a research project due two weeks. I don't know if I am gonna make it, but still go.

>>15215732
I'm ugly and autistic so life is pretty awful.

>>15215744
you could like misato though

>>15215634
Make money, go to Thailand, be a god

>>15213349
I think people will have a lot more time to think now and maybe we'll get some decent political protests out of this. I'm glad this virus came because it slowed down technological progress so maybe we can keep a relatively normal world instead of the singularity people working in AI preach. I know my stance might look stupid and ineducated but the biggest problem right now is the way technology shapes society in ways we cannot predict.

>>15215634
>I gave in and posted on /soc/ in the face rate thread.
I didn't know such thing existed. Looks tempting.

But then again I get matched to 5-6 tinder qts weekly on my small city so probably I'm not that ugly.

>>15215808
If you think this is going to slow down progress you're dumb. Money is going to poor into bioinformatics after this and AI picked up on corona a week before the Chinese announced it

>>15215829
>*pour

>>15215787
I couldn't do something like that. I'd probably kill myself from the shame. Not because anyone else knows but because I know. I know I'm an ugly motherfucker and if I actually did something like go to some poor sea country because that's all I could manage then I would realize how suicide-fuel my life is. Better to just waste away alone in my room

>>15215838
Meh I've banged prostitutes it's fun and gets it out of your system instead of just obsessing over how much you need to get laid

>>15215634
cmon i wanna see

There's this one shitty anime called Toradora, it's a very popular slice of life high school rom-com thing. I watched it all in like two days like a year ago and it sent me into this bout of emotion turmoil and heartache that lasted the rest of the week. I am not proud of this, The same thing happened when I watched this other anime whose name I don't remember. But that's not important, there's this one scene in Toradora where the kids are at a beach house and this girl is talking about ghosts. She's talking about ghosts and how she believes in them, but she says that she's never seen a ghost, and she doesn't believe people who say that they've seen ghosts, but she still believes in them. The whole bit is a comparison to love, that we believe that we'll fall in love one day even though we've never been in love and don't know what it's like. Something like that. We're surrounded by unsuccessful relationships, were those love? I remember thinking about this a lot when I was a kid. If you got in a relationship with someone and it ultimately didn't work out, would it have been the same as if the relationship never existed? Was it worse? It seems romantic to me, should a person go there whole life without being in a romantic relationship and then finally, or possibly being in the same relationship for almost their whole life, and eventually marrying the person they love. I think other people probably feel this way but I'm really bad at guessing what other people feel. So back to the ghost thing: whenever a couple falls apart, should you look at it and figure that it wasn't really love? That they were never in love? One time I read a comment on a Simon & Garfunkel song on Youtube, some guy was talking about how they (Simon and Garfunkel) broke up, and this user replied saying that "Art still very much loves Paul." I thought that this was romantic, but not in like a gay way. I was gonna talk about my porn addiction and hebephilic tendencies next but I doubt anyone's reading this far.

How many days would you be willing to trade to live 1h as 16y old again?

>>15215936
None, life fucking sucked for me at 16

>>15215936
>>15215940
This unless you changed it to letting me re-do my life. Then I'd probably agree to die at 30

>>15215933
keep goin bro

>>15215940
Yeah turn it back further to 11-12 before lustful thoughts started to torment me and I would be all for it. At 16 the I had to jerk off 2 or 3 times ad day

>>15215936
Maybe the last 10-20 days of my life sure. I’ll be dicking around a hospital bed in some nursery any way

>>15214805
What's this pic from?

>>15214973
He's neoliberal scum that should be drawn and quartered

>>15215838
this. sexpatery is the lowest of the low

>>15215719
Start small, work your way up.

Too nervous to talk to a girl? Walk around town and try to talk to strangers (regular men/women that you're not attracted to)

Go on a small vacation by yourself. Invest in a portfolio when shit stabilizes (now's a really bad time to try and learn about trading stonks). Work you're way up to skydiving. Trying meth. Get in a police chase. Kill someone just to remember what it feel like to be alive.

You've got this Anon :)

>>15216002
He already said he was the lowest of the low. Embrace it

>>15215933
Anon, it’s real, even if it ends. I’ve had girlfriends and best friends that leave me. Some hate me now, some I’ll still say hello to in a blue moon. These people are no longer actively in my life. But the time spent with them is still important to me. I carry around in my wallet little love notes they’ve written. It reminds me that at some point in my life that person cared. That there was a brief moment in time where I wasn’t insufferably alone. It’s comforting. I’m not sure if my isolation and bitterness is worse now after losing such important people in my life, but I know better the depth of emotion I can experience. I know the outer limits I would have previously never been able to define. I’ve also had a lot of deaths happen in my life too. It kind of feels like that. Remembering grandad or my dad for the wonderful lives they had and lived. The time I had with them before they passed. I cherish it. That’s what losing a love is like. Most people feed so much on the end result. The messy break up. The hate for someone you love. The bridge of friendship burning as bright as the sun. But the times before that. The times when you valued another human life with more conviction than your own useless self. It’s a beautiful thing. Thank you for reminding me about that anon. I miss them all. I love them so much and I hope they have good lives. I’ll go back in my cave now.

I want to make a homemade gun and kill as many rich businessmen as I can

>>15216042
Hello Anon, I've missed you! I'm sorry that we haven't kept in touch, it's just that you never responded to our texts to hang out. We miss your dry sense of humor and your knowledge of literature. Why don't you hang out with us sometime, Anon? Even if you want to shoot me a text I'll be sure to respond. I hope you're doing better these days. I know you were pretty down the last time I saw you. Just know that you have people that care about you, mkay?

>>15215933
So much of how we view past events is dependent on how we narrativize them. After an unsuccessful relationship, it's easy for all of the partner's flaws to bubble to the surface, but this time, magnified, and then the dominant narrative becomes "I was trapped by a witch in a suicidal romance, how was I so stupid to stay with her, how could I have wasted this much of my life being dragged to the bottom of the sea by her". But it's still possible to think back on individual experiences from that relationship and recontextualize them to fit a new, half-imagined, half-real narrative. "Man, remember when we were on that date and she said that thing that had me cracking up for a good five minutes straight? That truly was a beautiful moment." And in this way, you can almost manufacture a love story from a broken romance, while also acknowledging that the relationship ended in failure and all that. It seems like a contradiction, but it only becomes one if you try to hold both of these viewpoints at the same time. If you only focus on one at a time, you can have both the beautiful romance and the sober reflection. But I have only a handful of experiences in this arena to draw from and I've never tasted true love -- so don't believe a word I say.

>>15214805
>>15216060
I didn't want to grow up to eat the rich, but then I got hungry...

>>15216013
Actually it's a great time to learn about stonks unless we hit a recession after the coronavirus instead of a climb. Market has been bulling ever since the dump.

>>15215933
Same, except for me it was Rin from Katawa Shoujo. I read a decent amount of interesting literature (more shit like Stephen King's novels or Dune or Neuromancer or etc.) yet nothing ever impacted me as closely as Rin Tezuka's story did, despite it being objectively less well written than so many other things I've read. It really emphasized the importance of relating to your reader to me, as I think the guy who wrote it somehow managed to encapsulate the deep troubles of my mind into a single anime figure that I've related more closely to than any other person to exist, fictional or not. Less about her autistic-like tendencies, more about how she talks and thinks. I started writing my own serious fanfiction to continue the cliffhanger bad ending, but I'm often too ashamed by it to write for week-long periods. Not that it's bad, I actually think it matches or surpasses the source material, but rather that it's fanfiction for an anime VN.

>>15216081
What's your timeline?

>>15216109
8% a year over 20 years for most my stocks and 5000% over however long it takes for chainlink, hex, or xlm to moon.

>>15215946
The main character of Toradora is named Taiga, and she is very tiny. She is completely flat chested and her height probably starts with a 4. She has very big hair, and I really like big hair. This is probably because large hair makes a woman look more child-like. I have a friend who I've known since freshman year of high school (I'm 20, we're both 20, so it's been around 6 or 7 years) and we're both lolicons. It was a running joke back in high school that he was a pedophile, and it was usually in a funny and joking manner and he himself usually participated in the joke. I don't remember if I truly thought the jokes were true or not. I don't think I did. Often times people would come up to me and ask "Hey anon, is [...] really a pedophile?" and I would always reply in the exact same way: "Aren't we all?" To this day I have absolutely no idea how people interpreted this response. However, I'm almost certain that the joke never extended to me. On a side note before I forget, I had a creepshot group chat with about 5 people in it. We were way too old to be doing that. Anyway, after we graduated, me and this friend kept in touch and we still do keep in touch. Over the past year or two, him and I have started to be more open with each other about wanted to fuck children. It's still expressed as jokes, but on top of that we send each other loli doujins and say the word 'cunny' a lot. I could say that it's limited to 2D, but I can't possibly ever be sure that that is true for both of us. Sometimes I like to imagine having conversations with people. Actually I do it almost constantly, and I've been doing it for at least a decade now. I don't think it's the same as schizophrenia, it's more like me talking to myself, and then making up responses, usually the responses of real people (friends, acquaintances). I don't think this is healthy, probably for a myriad of reasons, but I often have imaginary conversations with people that make me angry with them. That is crazy. Anyway, I had this imaginary conversation one night a week or so ago, I was sitting at a table in my physics class (impossible, since coronavirus fucked everything up) and someone asked me if I was a boob man or an ass man. I replied saying that I was a DFC man, and some people naturally asked what that meant, and I explained that it meant flat chests. Someone said something. I then explained to them something like "When you look at a flat chest, you can't just look at the breasts by themselves. You have to take in the whole chest [I started using gestures to explain better] from the neck and collar bones [I ran my hands along my neck and crossed them as I touched opposite collar bones] down past the naval [past the navel] to the pubis muns [I don't think this is a real thing]." I don't remember how people reacted to this.
>>15216042
I'm glad I made you feel something
>>15216074
I hope you experience true love one day, anon
>>15216081
>Katawa Shoujo
that was it, but it was Emi

>>15213141
Asuka has some big tits for a 14 year old.

How many books do think you guys read a year? My goal this year is 52, last year I read around 30 but I'm way ahead of schedule this year.

I've been enjoying literature a lot more in the past few months, and I kinda credit it to /lit/ and suggestions from here. So thanks anons.

>>15216067
I know you meant this some way of ironic, but it made me tear up. I’m so sorry, for everything I did, everything I said. Thank you.
>>15216074
This really is the only coping mechanism I’ve found that reduced my self destructive tendencies. I was so bitter for so long.

>>15216141
Uhhh right...

>>15214467
Kerouac was just smart enough to surround himself with interesting people whose behaviour he could describe with sufficient enthusiasm to seem engaging. I suspect being aware of this, while being venerated by idiots, was a component of the cope alchoholism, which is also venerated by idiots. Ginsberg has the kind of 'mystical' experiences Kerouac is never quite hitting just intuitively but can't make anything more than wank-fodder out of them because he doesn't have that muscular college-football asceticism. what a waste ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>15216152
I read about 8 a year...

>>15216152
Last year I read 52 and found it really unfilling in the end. One easily starts to choose short or simplistic books just to tick them off a list for egoic reasons while being discouraged from sticking with and revisiting material that's really nourishing because one has to move on and hit that quota. And at the end of the year, you're basically still left confronting the fact that you will never come remoteley close to reading everything that is interesting and relevant in your lifetime. imo think it can be quite helpful to read in a goal-oriented way but so long as the goal is purely numerical it's just "the reign of quantity". Obviously keep it up if it's working for you though. We're all, like, unique individuals n shit.

>>15216076
lol look at the low caste loser posturing
u were born a slave
accept. your. dharma
and don’t embarass yourself further

>>15214467
Chad Kerouac makes ugly souls froth at the mouth

>>15216327
Go drink cow pee Punjabi. Unless you're a Westerner who venerates a backwards culture that unironically places cows above humans. I can't tell which is worse...

>>15216353
>taking Kamadhenu symbolism literally
what a dalit.

>>15216353
Is this whay Hinpoos u ironically masturbate to?

In any case I find it ironic that your people still worship Gods the west grew out of 5000 years ago. Hahahaha

>>15215782
yes and I do

Is there such a thing as Epicurean nihilism?

>>15213237
Schiller is German highschool brainlet tier

>>15215945
I might even go for 20
>>15215940
I assumed freedom to change it

How hard is it to not fucking eat? Hey all you lardasses, put the fucking forks down. If you have no respect for yourself then why the fuck should anyone else?

Look in the mirror and tell me you are fucking omay with what you are. I should shoot you for being so god damn fat.

>>15216894
Do you find it easy to abstain from eating?

>>15216905
Yeah cause I am not 400 fucking punds and fucking bald. Jesus fucking christ.

>>15216910
Well for others its harder than it is for you. Thats why theyre fat.

>>15216918
I should have used Rpse and her lardass husband to go to Europe. I bet I could have killed a ton of people there and they wouldn't suspect a foreigner, they would suspect a local.

>>15216918
I want to kill a pregnant woman and cut the fetus out.

>>15216747
lost soul detected

>>15213195
Because she's best girl, and Rei is a lifeless doll who would be no fun at all to be with.

>>15213141
That long hair would create significant drag in the air

>>15217389
*Water

>>15216152
In the last three years I started reading properly, and even counting books. I read around 27 books a year, this number would be much higher If I wasn't still in uni, Lmao

>>15216292
Interesting words, thank you. Inside my head I have two forces. One makes me do what you've said (also because I like to try as many authors as possible), the other makes me pick huge and difficult books. I should probabily give more attention to the second one

>>15213141
Literature explaining why Rei's cunny is superior to Asuka's?

>>15213141
My head hurts and I hate dykes. Fuck you God

donkey cummy fart poop

how do I feel emotion again?
I think I lost my soul 10 years ago

>>15214727
Not him but he may be fantasizing about dominating and "taming" an aggressive woman. That sounds pretty based and hetero.

>>15214467
I agree but Kerouac never struck me as someone malicious, only a little bit naive in a midwit kind of way, if anything. Ginsberg, on the other hand, is a complete walking trashfire.

I can’t be the only one who doesn’t want this shutdown to end. It’s been a nice break from the utter insanity that is life in the modern world.

>>15217590

>>15217830
Read Doctor Sax.

Also, the guy doesn't like Kerouac because he's good looking.

I always liked asuka more because I have a thing for being bullied by girls. It's kind of a gentle femdom thing, I don't want to have my dick and balls crushed, but it would be nice to be dominated emotionally and physically by a woman. It would mean that I'm wanted I guess.

>>15217949
Girls like Asuka would want you to put up resistance and be unmoved by their jabs, and for you to jab right back. They're always very submissive sexually as well.
Femdom is a meme, no woman wants a man she can dominate.

Somebody in the meta thread yesterday mentioned Shit Reddit Says and I was suddenly hit with a wave of nostalgia (or whatever the word is for nostalgia but for bad experiences). That shit was such a big deal at the time, it really prefigured so much of the idpol shit that was to invade the internet. And then I remembered /r/spacedicks and /r/picsofdeadkids... reddit used to be so different. Always gay but it's just insane how different it is now.

I fucking hate that there's only, like, 4 websites these days and they're all exactly the same bar the tiniest of cultural differences. It happened so quickly I feel like nobody noticed.

>>15214467
Kerouac just wrote comfy ass shit about chilling with his bros and appreciating life. Sure he spoke about Buddhism, but only as a metaphor - he was a devout Catholic his whole life. It's his audience that takes Kerouac way too seriously (and he began taking himself seriously after he was concussed and basically became an entirely different person overnight) you can't pin that on him.

>>15213141
Prurient image OPs ought to be pruned immediately, but waifus are the exception.

>>15218216
I feel this so hard, I missed out on the edgy days of the internet. Even 4chan is tame as fuck these days.
>>15218250
The problem is it isn't done in an interesting way at all, you might as well just go do that stuff with your bros rather than read him do it. It's different with someone as genius and funny as Burroughs (Plus I don't think i'd want to actually do a lot of what Burroughs talks about)

>>15218283
>The problem is it isn't done in an interesting way at all, you might as well just go do that stuff with your bros rather than read him do it.

Oh I agree, generally. I enjoy Kerouac, but in a pulpy kind of a way. He just makes me smile a big goofy smile when I read him, but I wouldn't call him a genius.

>>15218283
>Even 4chan is tame as fuck these days.

Do you think people were just fucking crazier back then, or are things just more tightly moderated now. I know the latter is more likely to be true, but there was some golden fucking memories created in about a 10 year period that just seem impossible to recreate. Some of the pranks, some of the fucked up shit. What the fuck happened? Did everyone go somewhere else? Did people just grow up?

>>15218329
Fair enough man
>>15218379
I feel like they must be somewhere else, the dark web has grown so much there must be some big secret chan out there. The only mainstream thing where fucked up shit still happens like the old days is Discord is seems lmao. Part of it is zoomers are just very tame compared to every other generation when they were their age.

I will force sleep deprivation onto myself. I don't know for certain what to expect of it but it can only be better than where I am currently at. This is unbearable.

>>15218768
But Discord is part of process undermining image boards.

i'm a 24yo failure

>>15218768
There's infinity chan, where everyone is a neo Nazi and it takes four days for people to reply to a thread

>>15219023
True but there's some kino individual discords. Haven't used it in a while though. Been off the internet in general.
>>15219094
Oh sweet is it back up? I loved all the crazy shit and pdfs that their /x/ and /pol/ had.

>>15216583
good man

>>15213195
She's smart, she's loyal

>>15213141
I'm an economist and while I do understand that a regulated market economy is the best system for ensuring prosperity to the maximum amount of people possible, the Bible seems to support more socialistic systems. Capitalism is a system built off of greed and self-interest, while the Bible calls for us to put aside our own self-interest and care for others ahead of ourselves, and yet if we were to abolish capitalism it would almost certainly result in massive increases of poverty and suffering for the worldwide population.

>>15219043
nowhere to go but up :)

I still believe that i can somehow cure my existential depression by reading. Im a fool and naive one on top of that.

>>15218098
>Femdom is a meme, no woman wants a man she can dominate.
I'm aware and it sucks. I just want a girl to control me in bed. I want to feel powerless

>>15219307
he's full of shit you know

>>15219253
I would say that the Bible acknowledges that the world isn't utopian. Without being cynical and endorsing the worldly status quo, it does seem grounded in a kind of realism. I mean, Marx himself said that you can't just transition to socialism unless the material preconditions for it exist.

>>15219456
Yes, right now the main compromise I've been able to make is that Christians should support the capitalist system while not partaking in it. That is to say, since capitalism is the best system for bringing people prosperity we should support it as a system, but since the Bible calls for us to sell all we have and give it all to the poor and to hold all we have in common we should also do that since that is allowed under capitalism as long as its done voluntarily.

>>15219307
Consider eliminating this fetish, I used to have a whole host of perversions before I found myself as a man.
>>15219335
No i'm not. Why on earth would a woman want a submissive man? If he can't even put her in her place how's he supposed to compete with other men?

>>15219596
>Why on earth would a woman want a submissive man?
oh i don't know, if she's a top maybe...

>>15219612
You're just replying with your same assertion. Why would a woman be a "top"? (Gross homosexual terminology btw) Women are not happy with weak men, they feel like they're their man's mother, women with naturally more fiery personalities want an even stronger man who will tame them, even if they don't believe that's what they want it is.

I'm feeling so so much better since going back to school. I sleep less, feel more refreshed, wake up looking forward to the day and my workload. I had gotten to the point where upon waking I could physically feel the dread setting in. My life isn't that bad but it just felt like it wasn't moving forward. I'm hardly stressed out anymore even though I have more to do. Things would be perfect if it wasn't for my financial worries. Thanks Batman for suspending my job.

>>15219731
Have sex

I have this dream (aspiration) where I live in a really big house in the middle of nowhere in Montana all by myself. I imagine myself in this big house constantly. I don't ever think about what I'm actually doing inside it, usually I'm not doing anything, I'm just walking through the halls or gardens thinking about things. That's pretty much what I do know, but I want to do it in a big house. I have a butler, he cooks and cleans. I let him go home frequently because I feel bad about forcing someone else to live in solitude like that.

>>15219817
I do, with my girlfriend.

>>15219849
mom doesn't count ;)

>>15219876
Does your mom count?

I would prefer that every poster in this thread who used the word "waifus" remove themselves permanently from this website.

>>15219984
Jeanne d'Arc is my waifu

>>15219952
stay off my mom!

>>15219984
if i really agree with you does that make you my /lit/fu?

>>15219984
You're on an anime website.
Also, you just used the word.
Bye.

>>15220146
anon you're being a baka

>>15217825
The "taming" meme is so cringe and try hardy that it's more gay than any femdom shit. It's the fantasy a 15 year old would have

>>15220218
If you don't fantasize about hatefucking bitchy girls then you simply don't have any testosterone.

>>15220251
Thats too transcendental of an experience for my virginal mind to fully abstract

>>15220264
Don't worry anon, due to the lockdown we are all virgins again. Except for cohabiting couples I guess, but then I don't envy being forced to be around someone 24/7, I like my quiet.

>>15220146
I was specifically referring to the plural form.

>>15220289
Polygyny is based though? Read The Quran.

>>15220348
too many wiafus and you ___ your _____

>>15220289
>>15220348
>>15220354
I feel like Waifai ought to be the proper plural form.

I had a single real chance of getting a partner and I fucking blew it because I was a coward. The one woman who ever liked me, autism and all, and I couldn’t do it because I was too afraid. I really, really hate myself. I threw away my one chance to be happy, everything would have been different if I had just gone for it. Fucking kill me. She was perfect for me and I didn’t even try.

I was meditating if I should cut the PMO in my life entirely. I'm aware of its serious consequences such burnt out dopamine receptors, other chemical imbalances, and minor consequences: wasted time, subtle post-ejaculation remorse. But, when I decided to commit to put this habit to an end it becomes irrelevant since nothing significant really happened (let alone the urge to choke the rod), akin to those avant-garde nothing-happens films like Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (excluding the ending). Inflated by this ubiquitous self-isolation, this shit has been quotidian even to the point of escaping my attention. I truly feeling enraged.

>>15220515
just post rationalize your way out of it

>>15220515
If it can happen once, it can happen again. As long as you learn for the future.

>>15220515
If one woman likes you, then at some point you will find another who will also like you, and want to date you. Grieve and move on, allow yourself to feel shitty about it, but know that human beings are remarkably similar. You can absolutely find someone else.

>>15220553
>As long as you learn for the future.
this

how do I more if every distance is half the distance of the distance from before? Should I never reach the destination?

>>15217852
Pic makes an incredibly good point but it only further proves that Asuka is a better candidate for a romantic relationship

>>15220553
>>15220559
it hasn’t happened again in the eight years between then and now

>>15220605
have you tried since then?

>>15217852
Pic makes an incredibly good point but it only further proves that Asuka is a better candidate for a romantic relationship

>>15220547
this

>>15220251
I never said that you loser. I just don't want them to stop being bitchy or stop hating me. Because unlike tame fags, I can live with and even enjoy the fruits of displeasure

>>15219271
i live at the top of a skyscraper so i can very easily go down, super fast

I kinda don't want to talk to my gf for a bit. I feel like I need space from her, or at least our introspective discussions. I'm a really reflective person as it is, and, with our added reflective discussions about our personal and relationships shit, there's an added pressure of my mind being under examination, my brain feels fried and overloaded. It's just so tiring to feel my mind is always under examination from itself. How do I just let go, bros?

>>15221028
haha nice one

bump

>>15221949
write whats on your mind, anon

>>15214042
It doesn't get better, you just get numb to it. What helped me is establishing my own goals, and not allowing my relationship to the Navy define my existence and lifestyle.

>>15222002
being tired of life despite never living fully

>>15222054
you can do better than that

>>15222086
what do you mean?

Would you create something only for it to be destroyed a second later? If so, then why would you create something only for it to be destroyed in [finite time]? It's all in vain.

>>15222099
I mean "if not."

>>15222095
your writing, i dont know anything about your life other than that you feel tired
talk about your life, just reflect and write down your whole stream of consciousness, write anything

>>15222095
but dont talk about hebephilia, that doesnt go over well

>>15215365

God does not hate you.

>>15222099
yes

>>15222112
my life is not worth to be known, it's boring and full of regret. for me it's rather to waste time on doing nothing than trying your best and failing as both lead to the same end destination - regret. even if i'd manage to change my life around, i wont be transported back to the past to change my future. i'm not going to make it big - all the truly exceptional people made it young or atleast had very good feeling where they might end up as in there were little sudden lifework changes. all i want is to have some kind of goal for myself which i could pursue passionately without caring about the rest of the world but even then what's the point if you're going to die and return to the dust. why i keep living? i'm too much of a coward - i have that little hope that perhaps miracle could occur and save me. at the same time i wish i could just pull the hope out of my heart, become truly dead and off myself as in one last fuck you to the whole world. anyway i feel like all my choices were actually choosing the least shitty outcome rather than having a goal in my mind. even moving out would benefit parents much more than me.

>>15215365
The most important thing for you to do right now is to find inner peace without relying on material things. You can find lit or music you enjoy, you can try to fix your relationship with your parents, you can find new friends, but if you don't solve your internal struggles it will never work out and you'll eventually find yourself back here. Try to self-reflect on a very elemental level and focus and you yourself instead of the things that surround you. I recommend removing yourself from your current environment, if only for a brief time each day.

cool passage from the movie Doubt:
>How much worse is it then for the lone man, the lone woman, stricken by a private calamity? "No one knows I'm sick." "No one knows I've lost my last real friend." "No one knows I've done something wrong." Imagine the isolation. Now you see the world as through a window. On one side of the glass, happy untroubled people, and on the other side, you.

>>15213183
Yeah i always considered myself an international communist but i am starting to believe its counter helpful and just a wrong idea linked to the jewish experience of life

>>15213195
For me it' Misato, and this is coming from lolicon. I felt pity for Rei and Asuka was not a redeemable character for me by the end of the series.
I still somehow have not watched the movie though.

>>15222214

You don't have to have your entire life figured out or make it big or go down in history. Tbh most people aren't paying attention or dgaf what you do. I think the perfectionist mindset, which I often fall into myself, can be really undermining. Life isn't all or nothing, and sometimes even doing something small whether or not you're ever known for it is worth it. Maybe try to think less in binaries, like either you'll be famous or a total failure, and instead work on doing something that interests you solely for the sake that it's interesting to you. Try and do activities that take your mind off the future, if you obsess about some potential future it's very easy to get stuck in a self-fulfilling loop where the thought that never amounting to anything makes that belief a reality.

Idk this is just what I find helps.

>>15222459
>this is coming from lolicon
i sure hope you arent implying that asuka and rei are lolis
also you should watch the movie, its really good

>>15215772
>be handsome and not autistic, but things still look pretty dismal
>tfw

>>15222560
>i sure hope you arent implying that asuka and rei are lolis
I didn't mean it like that. I'm just surprised I liked the older Misato more and didn't like the two girls most people constantly talk about.
Yeah I really should watch the movie

>>15222550
>Life isn't all or nothing
Kind of is.
On your deathbed, either you look back on a life you're proud of or you don't.

>>15222610
I wish I worked more

>>15222550
>work on doing something that interests you solely for the sake that it's interesting to you
that's the one problem - i dont imagine myself in any career path. i envy for the people who knew what they want since relatively early age/teens. i wasted 5 years to complete physics bachelor just to realize that i never liked it in the first place and i just gone through motions just to get the diploma and let it all behind. however there wasnt any salutary though regarding my future. its just i want a simple thing - to have some sort of intuitive leaning towards something.

>>15220146
>You're on an anime website.
Wrong. It's an image board website. There are specific boards for anime, etc. Maybe you should go to one of those boards

>>15222649
>i dont imagine myself in any career path. i envy for the people who knew what they want since relatively early age/teens.
Same. I realized pretty quickly that the only think that would work for me is moving a lot and just doing work whenever I found it.
Graduated from HS, bought motorcycle, and left. Went west, made some cash, bought land, built house.
Working on making it into a nice NEET shack currently.
I think we were built for a different time anon.
Anyways I am total jack of all trades now, really great at nothing, but pretty good at everything.

>>15222655
What you say doesn't matter when the ones who will stay are the weebs and the ones who will leave aren't
We will literally always be here since there's not really anywhere better to go.

>>15222606
i liked asuka and i guess i still do but honestly im not crazy about any of them

>>15222723
I wish i could have a simple person worldview. However if i'd settle myself for something, i'd live with constant regret that i could make something better out of myself but i wouldnt be able to answer what it could be.

>>15222655
/lit/ is an anime board. Suck it up cuck.

>>15222655
its part of the culture of the site, its on literally every board

>>15222655
rosie o'donnel

>>15222763
>something better
After seeing all that I have. I've come to the conclusion the thing that would make me happier than anything is sitting in a nice room, with a nice couch, getting to read manga surrounded my cute anime girls all day.
That's how I die happy. That to me is success. I don't wanna further the human race or build some space rocket, I don't care if people remember who I was when I die cause I'll be fucking dead.

What for you is peak? A large part of what makes people so great and the reason we as a species have come so far is people who are never happy where they are, who continue to try to improve no matter what.

>>15222649
>i envy for the people who knew what they want since relatively early age/teens
that doesnt happen very often, and those people are generally NPCs. you should be happy that youre still figuring things out, you will eventually look back at these times fondly

Masturbaiting before sleeping is disgusting, If you die in your sleep then the very last thing you did before you lost consciousness forever was masturbate.

>>15222923
So what? I love masturbating.

>>15222900
Dont want to be rude but why would i remember that time so fondly? It was literally the most potential and possibly productive time frame which was completely wasted.

>>15217590
Would like to this know this too

>>15213141
I have a lot of work to do for a college project and the further behind I get, the less motivated I feel to start it. It feels like "I can't fail if I don't try" kind of mentality and it makes me disgusted with myself a little. I'm not sure if the online classes are causing this shit or if I'm just a lazy piece of shit.

>>15222649

I mean I feel like most people don't just know what they want to do early on. There's never going to be some magical eureka moment where you know for sure you're gonna do one thing. And for me personally there are many times where the subjects I normally take interest in feel boring, but other times where I feel super interested & invested. Just go along with whatever focus on doing small shit daily that's fun or interesting, or try paying attention more to the people around you. That's my mindset cause chances are you'll never be famous or whatever, and there's more to life than having everything settled and figured out idk.

>>15222923
if you think thats bad, I frequently jerk off when I wake up

>>15222976
one day youll realize that it wasnt a waste, it was your life and it is very precious to you

>>15219155
>Oh sweet is it back up?

it's at 8kun dot net now. but honestly its mostly just to host QAnon people now, and even that has taken a hit in popularity. last time I checked in on it the Q boards were being flooded with porn.

>>15221028
>i live at the top of a skyscraper
really? that must be cool

>>15223103
So most people spend time, pay thousands, go into debt to do things they aren't super interested in?

>>15223164
>still no hebe board
dropped

>>15223199
uhhh... anon.....

>>15223199
yes

>>15223218
>>15223222
Why tho.

>>15223241
In hopes of making more money. It's easy to them. They're retarded. I don't fucking know. My Dad's a plumber for example. I'm sure he hates his job. But does he make assloads of money? Absolutely.

I'm becoming increasingly nihilistic and don't see how it's not the truth and I'm struggling to find reasons why suicide isn't the logical response to being born.

>>15223251
I'm poor as shit and borderline homeless in summer and happy as shit. I guess if you have a family it is different though.

>>15223256
Buy a motorcycle like I did, climb something tall and look over the edge. Teaches you a lot about yourself you didn't know.
Also helps your survival thing kick on and make you less suicidal.

>>15223241
Because you have to do something, anon. I don't know how old you are, but once I left higher education I was hit with the sudden realisation that "shit.... I have to do something...". You need to get money to survive somehow, you need some sort of a way to use your time. Not all of us have parents or autismbux we can mooch off. This situation often forces people into jobs they are not very enthusiastic about. I'm not happy about it, but thats literally life.

>>15223262
>>15223268
>I guess if you have a family it is different though.

And yeah, family and social pressure. I would probably be pursuing a different path if I didn't have the pressure of my parents expecting me to get a reliable job. I know I should be stronger, and pursue my own path, but what can I say... I'm not that brave. Plus, I came to the realisation that most women my age don't want to date a guy with no prospects.

>>15223256
It's hard to not be a doomer in todays age man. I got over it for a while but the quarantine is trying really hard to send me back. Eventually you just find something to do that helps you not want to kill yourself. Also, I adopted a dog and started picking up camping as a hobby. Not car camping but kind of an inbetween of camping and bushcraft. I legit think both of them saved my life. The dog especially since her entire wellbeing falls upon my responsibility. Just gotta find something that makes you happy. If you never put in an effort to search, you'll never find it either.

>>15213153
The time's going to pass whether you're doing something worthwile or not.

I want to kill myself by getting a girl to sit on my face until I suffocate, but I think if a girl was sitting on my face I wouldn't want to kill myself

>>15223268
I pretty much just chill, travel, and party. When I need cash I do some postmates deliveries or wash dishes at some family place for a month or two.

>>15223283
The only reason I wanted to go to post secondary was the social stuff, but tbqh I'm really glad I didn't go. I don't know about dating, but there are a lot of women and people who you never knew existed when you go the other way. There were borderline orgy's in some of the Tree planting huts in BC. Most of the people there were in basically the exact same situation as me.

>>15223329
catch twentypoo

>>15223329
the cool thing about this is you can force them to do it without worrying about getting in trouble

>>15222655
take your bleach

>>15213141
All I want is a big pair of titties all over my face brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrrbrbrbbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbbrbrbrbrbr

>>15220487
It’s waifutachi or waifura, please learn nihongo

>>15222766
it's really not

>>15223670
wow kid did you just blow in from redd*ttown?

I lond of wished I went hunting with that dumbass family. I would kill them if I thought I could get away with it. I would shoot that rat-faced dweeb in the throat and watch him flail around.

>>15213183
Most systems work better when a society is ethnically homogenous

>>15213141
Seriously, why is Eva in the literature board?

>>15223835
because it's basically an adaptation of Gravity's Rainbow

r8 my oc frens. also feel free to steal

>>15223329
sounds like quite the predicament

>>15224127
5/10

>>15223722
no I've been here for a long time

you just blew in from other boards, if you seriously think /lit/ is anime oriented in the fucking slightest you clearly haven't spent much time here. There's been a recent surge of anime stuff in like the past month, probably related to quarantine people branching out where they normally wouldn't.

I'd wager that you don't even read

>>15222766
Wrong.

>>15224171
4chan, as in the entire website, is an anime site.

My desire for a girlfriend is all-consuming, scarcely an hour passes where I do not pine for the fairer sex.

Wittgenstein hates all numbers.

Im really nervous guys :(
And since I dont emote it manifests in shivering and vertigo
I wish I had the mental control to turn it off.

Everyone is uncertain. All ideology is uncertain. Everyone will fade. All ideology will fade.

>>15224356
>>15224356
>>15224356

>>15224225
Get daki
They can be life changing

>>15213141
I was watching old YouTube videos I used to watch when I was 15, and now I have an unnameable energy in me, a longing nothingness of sad joy. I want to scream and cry and laugh and I remember this peaceful cold anxious nothing I used to hold with in me. I remember the winter days at school looking out the window during art class, the grey sky. That was perfect.


here's the videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5iLkq-y_8I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLkgO3N6blM

>>15224171
yer not foolin nobody *spits*

I need to draw more.

>>15224291
And I thank God for it every day. That my time spent alternating between wageslavery and pleasuring myself is finite and will most certainly come to an end and all the feelings of inferiority, uncertainty, and general self-loathing with it, spiraling down into nothing, some tiny motes of entropy that the universe itself will see dispersed such that nothing can bring my self back into existence.

>>15224467
You can always try getting a better job

>>15224475
I'm not even sure what that really means.
My current job pays well, the hours are good (and flexible), benefits are good, the people there are pleasant.
I have hard time realistically imagining a better job, I don't know what I would do, and anything else would probably require either further education/training or for me to create some sort of portfolio of work to attract recruiters.

>>15224502
something that makes you happy

>>15224521
that's something of a tautology
to be happy, just do what makes you happy
it's logically sound, but it doesn't help me any, as it assumes I know what sort of profession would make me happy
if I had some clear goal like that, I wouldn't feel like I'm just passing the time until I die

She’s gone and she’s never coming back. She said we’d grow old together oh god lit why

>>15213777
>muh just world
Check your privilege.

>>15224549
not that guy but
dont "do something that makes you happy", just be happy
its not easy for anyone and most people never truly find internal happiness, but its the best thing to do, otherwise youre building your happiness on a shaky foundation

I wish I could work and be happy, not either or. There is nothing like a quarantine to make you question your passion of acting and theater, a very social medium, that you're spending all of your time studying in college. Tomorrow, I start a job at Lowe's. I don't know what to expect except pure boredom but decent cash flow. I was enjoying the time in this quarantine, watching movies in my backlog, reading more, even writing however little it was. I need money, though, man. I want to get my own house, I want to travel the world, but I'm so scared of becoming or realizing that I'm just a straight-up not good actor and will become a manager at fucking Lowe's. Acting requires experience, I have only been in like 4 plays (2 of which I had less than 3 lines). I do feel like I'm getting better at it, but it should also be taken into account that there are only like 7-8 people in our theater department so we can't do anything super elaborate (Shakespeare's plays have like 12-15 characters at a minimum). There isn't any real measurement of my skill until I get out there, and I was wanting to get out there but community theaters were like the first places to shut down because of the virus. I keep asking myself "what's the point?"