[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature


View post   

File: 1.05 MB, 1920x1080, 1573501945564.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15008723 No.15008723 [Reply] [Original]

It's crit thread time assholes
https://justpaste dot it/3yn2o

>> No.15009358
File: 215 KB, 1318x794, ss_2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15009358

>>15008723
Third paragraph is pretty strong and evocative, but the first two are rife with too much exposition imo, which is sorta superfluous with all the negations contained within.

pic related is the first two paragraph of a novella I'm chipping away at. Still a bit of trimming and tidying and the first paragraph - the dream - is a work in progress