No crit thread

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No crit thread Anonymous Fri Apr 3 02:11:40 2020 No.15008723 [Reply] [Original]

It's crit thread time assholes
https://justpaste dot it/3yn2o

Anonymous Fri Apr 3 05:00:05 2020 No.15009358
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>>15008723
Third paragraph is pretty strong and evocative, but the first two are rife with too much exposition imo, which is sorta superfluous with all the negations contained within.

pic related is the first two paragraph of a novella I'm chipping away at. Still a bit of trimming and tidying and the first paragraph - the dream - is a work in progress

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/lit/ - Literature