/lit/ - Literature

I've read 4 books so far which is on track for my target. But still feeling dead inside.

>>14769026
5-star-based book reviews make me rage. les mis is a solid 6.87 and not a hundredth more or less.

>>14769054
same senpai
desu they're working on magic happiness pills so hold tight

there's the 6th extinction too, looking forward to see what good comes from it

>>14769059
the only guy i know who uses based is a cringy virgin brexiter
pls refrain from using based

>>14769025
Really meh. I mean fuck, we were supposed to enter future years, so why doesn't this feel like the future?
So this is what it feels like to live at the end of history, nothing changes.
On the other hand, I've finished 3 books and I'm doing a great job at clearing my movie backlog

>>14769121
it's just the end of an era

haven't applied for jobs since nov

>>14769135
fugg
i did that and it was hard to explain
the more you wait the harder it becomes
stay strong brother

>>14769025
I wish I was dead.

>>14769149
don't say that
my estonian friend hasn't answered in 3 weeks
he's been out of job for a long time and they don't have neetbux in ex USSR
i'm worried
pls rember good times

>>14769146
>it was hard to explain
it's already 2 years now

>>14769161
it's ok me too
i worked for a sushi place where they put a stupid fuck in charge
left it
was ashamed of myself for a year and a half
straight up moved from the city out of neet shame
but
i started a training to become accountant, which is like "restarting" the CV
now i'm fully employed

be strong brother,
bad times ahead,
but we are one of soul

On paper, I’m doing fine. In a more real sense, I’m struggling. Everything feels so meaningless and I have so many regrets and so little hope.

I hate being this guy on this board. This board is filled with negativity. There’s something pathetic about venting your sorrows on an anonymous anime board, but where else are we supposed to go? I don’t know about anyone else but once I walk out my front door, I can no longer be myself.

>>14769025
Fucking beautifully mate

>>14769025
Reading? Just dandy
Everything else? Between JUST and boring

>>14769025
Bad. Still not picked a language to learn.

>>14769025
finished martin eden and Brief Interviews with Hideous Men
currently going through whatever
no to so bad

>>14769235
I understand your suffering. On paper I will be a lawyer before the end of the year, have a girlfriend, made lifting progress in the past six months, have a steady income and will leave for a vacation in exactly a week. Yet I feel horrible.
I‘m considering seeing a professional, maybe you should too.

>>14769025
i cant finish books, i keep reading half and moving on. it's alright doe.

Is going good, my man

>>14769359
I’ve seen a professional in the past. I didn’t think it was helpful and in fact, I think it made me worse off in ways that took years to recover.

>>14769025
i need to get a job and move out. i am finishing one last course and then i am done my undergrad. i hope that things will be different when i am no longer in school. the last few days have been sunny and that always makes me feel happy

>>14769387
that's good senpai, big books
hope you aren't wasting your time with philosophy though

>>14769324
pick French retard

>>14769318
that's good senpai keep at it

>>14769121
We're future-tired. We imagined a future better than the one we are in now because the one we're in is really boring and frustrating. Pedophiles exist in high escalations of society and face no repercussions, we see the contradictions and the world is hurtling towards its own extinction and there is nothing being done other than lip-service.

History means nothing now, I was talking to someone yesterday who was born in 1994 and did not remember when 9/11 was. Straight up thought it happened in the 80s.

Now that I look back at it, the past two months were nearly constant hell. I'm the fucking doomguy.

>>14769428
that's fucking cute

Things sucked but they're honestly getting better. Moving back to my home state, I'm leaving my wageslave job in two weeks (have to wageslave again when I move but I'll be working less hours), and I havent been able to read too much because things going on but when I move I'll have more time for my hobbies as well and get back on track. Things pick up for everyone here as well, we're all gonna make it bros.

>>14769492
That's great, i'm happy for you, anon.

>>14769428
>hope you aren't wasting your time with philosophy
Nah, phil is too dry for me. I've tried in the past and I probably will again in the future but so far it's been the year of re-reads. Only TBK is a first in this selection.

>>14769025
Everything is terrible. I can't find something to devote myself to. This week I'm into literature and reading, the next into mathematics, the one after that into music, and so on. I can't keep this up. I have no control over it. Please kill me

>>14769535
just stick to something lmao, or talk to a shrink

>>14769537
>just stick to something lmao
I'm trying but it's been like this for years anon
>talk to a shrink
already doing this, not helping

>>14769549
have you tried talking about this exact problem and how it affects you?

>>14769535
Fuck I do this. I get interested in something, devote some time, enjoy the possibility that its "my thing" and then get tired of it and abandon it.

>>14769535
>>14769561
i'm sure most people struggle with this, i've done as well, but i sticked with literature in the end and i'm still here

>>14769535
I too remember being 15, and not understanding how to get good. It's constant mediocrity, just dabbling in things without having the confidence or determination to accomplish something.

I guess I would try to finish complete projects, like write a novel, make a few minutes of music , an EP. Once you cross this barrier of being able to finish something, maybe that will help. It will take months though, and you won't have much to show for it. Even after years, you will be nowhere close to your dreams. Life isn't easy.

>>14769449
Remember when Americans had landed on the moon and we thought we were going to space, but instead we got facebook and drag queens story time?

horrible. worst year of my life so far, and that's saying something. i started cooming again and i've only read like 100 pages in the last 2 weeks.

>>14769580
Kys

>>14769587
dilate

>>14769574
The Navy actually released confirmation about UFOs and no one outside of that community gave a shit

>>14769554
>have you tried talking about this exact problem and how it affects you?
yeah but my therapist just says that this is a phase (which it might be, but it's been like this for years)
>>14769570
>It's constant mediocrity, just dabbling in things without having the confidence or determination to accomplish something.
that really sums it up
>I too remember being 15, and not understanding how to get good
I think it's normal at that age but I'm 22, anon . Thanks for the advice but I think it's all over for me.

Whatever, rate my meager book list for this year so far, reeee and so on

>>14769593
what?

favorite I read so far is beyond good and evil. least favorite is kafka on the shore.

>>14769601
>I'm 22, anon
don't worry, you'll grow out of it, but the advice that other anon gave is a really good one.

>>14769604
The US Navy released 3 videos on an encounter with an unknown aircraft(s) flying at high speed and odd manoeuvres that defy physics. Something straight out of a sci-fi and the collective reaction to it was "meh"

Look it up, Nimitz Encounter

>>14769609
how was the early irish myths and sagas? sounds kinda interesting

>>14769619
literally just a psy-op. you really think the government isn't trying to subtly convince people aliens are real to destroy belief in God? well they are.

>>14769666
what the fuck is this post

>>14769666
Imagine being this brain dead

>>14769678
>>14769712
midwits

>>14769025
It's February 22.
I stayed up all last night catfishing and edging.
Now I'm listening to video game music and being moved to tears by the profundity therein.

>cute girl talks to me in elevator
>try to avoid being autistic and saying weirdly too little in response
>say something incomprehensible and autistic instead

Success

>>14769727
>I stayed up all last night catfishing and edging.
fuck, i have been there bro

>>14769747
lol what'd you say?

>>14769025
Pretty bad, but I manage. Also I have come up with a crappy philosophical way of view.

>>14769666
What if god is a post-op by the ayys to deter the fact they've been here since the beginning

>>14769025
Going well. I finally crawled out of nihilism and college is going well. I've read five books in the last three weeks, compared to the none I read when nihilistic. I have a few girls that are showing varying levels of interest, so I need to make the decision if I'll actually try to get a gf or if I'll refuse to give myself more time for productivity/reading. I also deradicalized after I found hope and fought my OCD.

>>14769519
this big cover is so fucking beautiful
I'd frame it

>>14769580
coming is the only true pleasure in life
indulge it how does fight club compare to the movie? I heard the movie is better

>>14769609
I fucking hated dune

>>14769862
movie is better. i feel like the book would've been a lot better if you hadn't watched the movie first, but it was still alright anyway

>>14769654
I read it for purely academic purposes and for inspiration for my writings. I really can't see someone enjoying it reading it leisurely as one would something like Dune. The penguin edition of the Irish legends are pretty much direct translations. I'd imagine a more modern attempt at telling these fairy tales would be a lot more enjoyable a la Alexander Pope's Homeric epics.

>>14769862
Dune is great. I don't think I will continue the series though. Not a genre fiction / sci-fi guy to begin with. Dune had great writing though and definitely felt a lot more elevated than other sci-fi I've read.

>>14769822
>I also deradicalized after I found hope and fought my OCD.

>Pacification SUCCESFULL

>>14769619
To be fair though, people were so inundated with shock and awe news most of which turned out to be bullshit that by that point it wasn’t even an attention grabber for them and was probably assumed to be some shady CIA shit. People are hyper concerned with their jobs and their social status and their socioeconomic politics and that’s really about it now.

>>14769601
26 and I’m the say way

>>14769410
years of shitty therapy and useless psychologists made me completely ignore professional help. No matter how many times I switched from one to another or took prescription drugs not one of them seemed to help. Surely for some other kind of person they would work, but that's not for me. I took on to self-improvement and for now, things are okay. Not great but simply ok.
I'd suggest you to give it another chance, lots of friends have had good experiences with therapy so maybe I just had the shittiest luck. If it doesn't work again just quit. Wasting our time with this will only lead to more self wallowing as you'll think the problem resides in you, not their shitty practices.

cheers to you all senpaitachi

>>14770057
I don’t think I will seek professional help. I don’t even trust doctors anymore to be honest. I saw a therapist years ago when I was going through a tough time after a traumatic event involving a family member happened. It felt like it helped at the time, but what inevitably ended up happening was I got put on drugs which almost ended up ruining my life and I turned into a giant emotional pussy who just wanted to talk about his feelings all the time. I went cold turkey on the drugs and never looked back. Now, I realize all I needed was time to get over the event and maybe someone to talk to, not drugs and not emotional indoctrination. It’s more a dealing with an meaning crisis and coping with all of the mistakes I made during that period for me at this point, which I think I probably would’ve had to confront sooner and maybe would’ve made better decisions if that therapy shit just never happened.

>>14769054
Try the MAOI Parnate

>>14770057
>>14770130
yeah, therapy and psycho drugs are total snake oil bullshit. i literally went insane and never told anyone and eventually i just got over it. still depressed as fuck, but i'm going to start experimenting with daily alcoholic self-medication.

>>14770154
>there are people on 4channel.org that actually consider literal brain-shrinking pills as a legitimate option to treat anything

>>14769025
January was great, it all fell to pieces in February.

>>14770162
This, society, medicine and pharmacology are all wrong. I'm smart.

>>14770172
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luKsQaj0hzs

>>14769753
>she asks about a book i have
>don't want to say stilted autistic "huh? yeah i guess, bye" shit
>force myself to say something "real"
>start babbling about how the guy who wrote it got shot
>she laughs and says "Okay, well, good luck with that"

>>14770179
I guess it's a futile endeavor, trying to help the mentally deranged. These poor souls just think you're trying to harm them, as they are much more comfortable in their delusions. Perhaps it's a mercy, if they can't handle the real world their schizo fantasy land might be more comforting.

>>14770192
oof. what was the book?

>>14770154
>i'm going to start experimenting with daily alcoholic self-medication.

Don’t do that.

>>14770239
fuck off dr. schlomo

>>14770020
>struggle with horrifying intrusive thoughts for 5 years, resulting in isolation and starvation as well as the inability to function
>have nothing to live for and become aggressive towards society
>get help and begin volunteering with various organizations
>the future isn't hopeless
>no need to hate society now
I dislike the direction society is going in, and I dislike how people act in groups, but I don't think we're guaranteed to spiral into hell. I've seen plenty of people reform and improve. Why should I deny that second chances exist?

>>14770247
only the weak can't face reality soberly; the strong face the terror and the beauty of life head on.

>>14770247
How is someone who doesn’t want you drink yourself into a stupor with alcohol, which is an addictive consumer product sold for profit, dr. shlomo?

>>14770179
take your meds, schizo

>>14770259
every person lives a different life on varying degrees of difficulty and i'm not strong enough to beat mine sober. doesn't mean i'm weak, just means i'm not strong enough and i need a boost. i'm just gonna do it till i get out of this hole i'm in, like taking psycho or med-x in new vegas to beat a part that you're stuck on. i used to think like you, i used to want to be straight edge tough-guy, but my life is just getting too fucking hard.

>>14770283
>doesn't mean i'm weak
yes it does, chances are your life is infinitely easier than most people's and you're just a massive pussy/spoiled brat/manchild

>>14769025
I have read the first volume of London Frogs post collection "the last binge ever" today
Also I fapped 4 times

>>14770162
Pills can be necessary for outright psychotic disorders, or similarly immediately dangerous things. I am antipsych as fuck but I've also seen psychosis and schizophrenia up close and those people are in literal hell. I know people who are actual schizos and who choose not to take the meds because they would rather be insane than dead inside, but that's a choice that has to be made on a razor's edge in terms of weighing pros and cons. You are going to be in hell either way, it's living death either way, just of a different sort.

That being said, antipsych is broadly true for the vast majority of depression and anxiety retards out there. Not only is it just psychically neutering them, it worsens the problem by preventing them from fixing it at a deeper level. It traps you as a "functional" automaton, where "functional" is defined as going to work and enjoying pap culture filth.

That's not to even go into the practice of dosing children with drugs. 9 year olds are not depressed, and if they are, it's because of something society and their parents are doing wrong, not the kid's fucking brain chemistry. Let alone medicating "attention deficit disorder."

95% of psych use is unnecessary and abusive. Psychiatrists and psychologists are a state-sanctioned cult.

>>14770283
I get what you’re saying, I just strongly disagree that alcohol is anything at all like psycho in new vegas or that new vegas is at all a good model for how to live your life.

>>14770239
I did that for 5-10 years

Trust me, don't do it. Seriously. I'm not even prone to physical addiction, and it still shit all over my life and wasted a lot of my time. You should see the friends I have who ARE prone to physical addiction. They're now lifelong day-drinkers destined for an early grave, for whom giving up alcohol would be like giving up food because it's so integrated into their fundamental experience of reality. Watching their cognitive decline even while they're still in their youth has been one of the saddest things I've ever witnessed.

Alcohol should only be consumed socially and occasionally. You should never use it to medicate. Especially if you're smart and depressed.

Currently reading my 8th book of the year.
Things are looking up, I'm probably going to get into my university of choice and I can study what I want.
There is also a chance of me going to the US to study.
Actually started writing flash-fiction an poetry.
Translated a bunch of stuff this year.

Things are generally looking up.

>>14770354
I think this was meant for
>>14770154

i am in hell at present because i have to write some stupidly ambitious paper and i am HIGHLY DISSATISFIED with it but i DID THIS TO MYSELF! it will all be over soon enough but until then i'm going to wake up at 2AM sweating from stress dreams! there are a few really good things in my life right now but i don't think i'll be able to give a fair account of my 2020 until i do my fucking work. that said i need to stop browsing 4channel for this coming week (realistically i will continue browsing 4channel this coming week)

>>14770387
>Translated a bunch of stuff this year.
what language?

>>14770543
Hungarian into English.

>>14770039
God were all so boring now

>>14770283
>i'm not strong enough to beat mine sober
Too bad that hangover and the strain on your system is going to make it even harder. If you really need to beat something, you need homeostasis. Go to sleep early like 10pm, wake up early, get some exercise, leave your room everyday, get enough food, eat right.

The energy you get from all that is going to make everything just a tiny bit easier.

>>14770484

Kek. Low test detected. My God.

>>14770288
>your life is infinitely easier than most people's
>you're just a massive pussy/spoiled brat/manchild

Being spoiled, or whatever you think his failing is, is a part of life. It makes things harder, evens everything out. In the end somebody who you think has a very hard life, might have the same level of happiness as you.
You see this with amputees, at first they might think that their life is over. But sooner or later, it doesn't make a difference. It's a consistent phenomenon to hear them say that things are more or less the same.

>>14770319
I fixed my life and got everything back on track after getting on an antidepressant. Nice generalization you cuckold

>>14770962
Same, been on it for like over half a year, now I'm off it for like a month. Now it's time to learn to deal with things on my own.

>>14770962
>>14770980
doubt you're actually better in any way, you just took the bluepill essentially and have a retarded definition of "healthy"

>>14771093
My definition of healthy is not wanting to kill myself, waking up in the morning, and being productive instead of seeing how big of a hole I can dig for myself. Pretty normal stuff.

>>14771124
being a good goy isn't healthy

>>14771137
You can always spin the narrative so it suits you, whether I'm a goy, NEET or whoever. But what you should really do, is take those blinders off and seek professional help if you need it.

I think I've finally settled into a simple routine in my last 3 months of university.
>wake up early
>hit the gym
>have a healthy breakfast
>hit the library
>go to the park right outside the faculty at lunchtime to get some sun and read history or philosophy for an hour or so
>go back to the library
>get some fresh produce on my way home
>cook dinner
>be in bed by 9
It feels pretty good and it really made me pick up my shit. A bit too late though as I fucked up most of the rest of my uni time so grad school is off the table.

Yesterday I turned in a piece of coursework I'm really proud of and really enjoyed writing because it felt like it required me to actually think and not just follow steps like the rest of uni. It particularly reminded me of high school when I had this friend and we used to challenge each other in maths. Fuck, I miss those days. I wish I did maths or physics and just stayed the fuck home. Also just ordered a book I'm really excited about from overseas despite the transport being more expensive than the book itself.

>>14769822
I think I've actually gotten more radical in my political views and outlook on society this year. It feels oddly calm.

>>14770387
>>14770550
If you're Hungarian, please do not fall for the fancy uni in some western country meme. It may sound great when you're 18, but you're gonna hate yourself in 4 years.

>>14769754
What drives you in life, anon?

>>14771158
i'm glad you're happy with yourself, but itt there's been a bizarre amount of shilling for psychotropic pills - like the fellow suggesting an MAOI for depression which absolutely just psychically kills you (not to mention the list of shit you can't eat or drink and whatever) look, i tried the whole going on meds thing, and it's a fact that most psychiatrists are predatory. i was given mood stabilizers and antipsychotics and nardil and all sorts of other stupid garbage that in turn led to a bunch of dumbfuck iatrogenic problems, and for a good 3 years i was fully not myself. the process of finding a med that 'works' to begin with is excruciating! the side effects range from extreme weight gain to lactation to catatonia…the fact that they're okay with putting anyone willing to pay through that is kind of fucked imo. psychiatrists like to push this notion that everyone ought to feel at 100% and use this narrative to pathologize reaction to negative stimuli such that everyone is on prozac or whatever now, even kids. i don't think it's particularly fruitful to feel personally attacked when someone points out that psychotropic pharmaceuticals (and pharmaceuticals in general) is an evil industry.

>>14769025
Still finishing my first book of the year (War and Peace). I wanted to finish it by January, but now I don't want it to ever finish.

>>14769025
Turning 24 next week, last semester of college, been told i'm reasonably good looking and good at excentric cocktail party type conversation, also certified ocd autistic spectrum person, no longer on anti depressants, never had a gf, I waste lots of time online and feel lonely and rather uncertain about the future. Lately I've been reading Spinoza's etics, Foucault, Deleuze, klossowski and dh lawrence's studies in classic american literature, also fred turner's media histories and philip mirowski's economic histories, these last two for my thesis. I feel like I wasted away my youth in social isolation

>>14769025
Currently keeping up my 4 books a month goal since January. Always loved reading but only built an actual habit out of it this year. Still feeling empty inside but thankfully fighting my coomer addiction, I haven't tracked time but I'd say its been about 1.5 months or so

>>14769025
Ok. I’d really like to get back into reading, but the works that feel most worthwhile are hard to jump into, and even harder to stick with. Light reading feels like a waste.
To add to it, there’s a few that I want to re-read, like Moby Richard, Anna Karenina, and especially the few Shakespeare plays I’ve read.
I keep staring at my bookshelf and remembering how many times I’ve pulled Plato’s dialogues out, only to leave it sitting on the coffee table for months without finishing a single section.

>>14771310
How do you stop being a coomer? I want to do it for moral reasons. No matter how much I beat myself over it, in the end I can't stop myself.

>>14771340
I do jerk off but i havent watched porn in about a year

>>14771340
The problem isn’t masturbating, but excessive pleasure seeking as escapism. If you don’t like what you’re doing tomorrow, you’re going to milk tonight for all the pleasure you can get. It’s the same as drinking, or video games. Fine in moderation.

>>14771340
In reality, its about understanding your problem and using your willpower to get over it, after years of constant porn consumption my brain was rewired for a constant intake of porn, after quitting I've noticed a mild-moderate reduction in how much I jerk off (going from daily to once every 2-3 days) The problem is that after quitting actually consuming porn feels like total shit, it's an unbearable wave of shame and guilt, so that's another motivation for me to stay off of it.

If you aren't ready for quitting cold turkey you should just try to stop fapping to it daily, it's fucking hard but in the end it should be worth it. At some point it just turns into a fight against your subconscious mind rationalising porn use, which often feels like shit considering you understand how bad you feel after doing it.

Porn is the biggest fucking mind control/sedative since religion, people who tell young impressionable boys that it is natural should be hanged publicly.

>>14771349
hey me too! Idk why I even started porn in the first place with my imagination being more than sufficient

>>14769025
the exact same as every other year, I'm being put in an unfortunate position where people are trying to lean on me for emotional support, but I'm not that person at all and as such I'm getting called cold a lot lately by family and people on my course.
Suicidal thoughts on the increase, nothing matters to me, same old same old.
Reading 1984, its pretty good.

It’s a bit hard to explain. I’ve been dealing with existential depression for a while which underlies everything I guess. My girlfriend broke up with me a year ago and I still don’t think I’m over it. I had a family member die a few years ago and I don’t know if I’m fully recovered from that either. I hate my career and I hate career life in general to be honest. I have no job aspirations whatsoever and money isn’t that important to me despite having a degree that would signal otherwise (economics). I’m about to turn 27 and the age anxiety has set in. I pretty much regret my life from 18-25 and I’ve become acutely aware that I’ll probably never do anything worth doing or find a place I belong in my life. Sorry for being such a downer, but I’m glad someone asked.

>>14769519
>Rereading Joseph and His Brothers
We got a madman over here

>>14769580
Read only one book at once, that’s your problem

>>14771340
no, you're supposed to STOP beating yourself, that's the whole point, retard

Was a hikki for 5+ years, finally left the house to join a gym.

>>14771725
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING I HATE IT