/lit/ - Literature

I have to go. I’m sorry. I will love you forever.

>post a deeply personal poem written for the person you care most about in the world on /lit/
what demons must I be possessed by to do this ?

>>14750154
Bro...she's fucking tyrone the gladiator

>>14750198
Precisely because nobody of any worth will ever actually see it. Fag.

Lrn24chan

I really wish thou/thy/thee/thine were still in style. There are a lot of rhymes you can get out of those.

>>14750154
All women are blackguards.

>>14750154
>I'll only have to think of you
>And gladly draw my sword again.
So after all that you're just finna jerk it?

>>14750212
blackguard, Caddy, that blackguard, Caddy

>>14750221
>:( Please don't render my wholesome and honorable expressions of courtly love as something impure, you monster.

>>14750209
thou thee thine
would that thee letteth me imbibe
thy purest urine
and that the OP may dine
on an old cum rind
for he is cringier than
a love poem that rhymes

>>14750292
I'm sorry you're so devoid of joy anon

>>14750154
>dimeter
God, Frost was such a hack

(1/2)

>>14750292
I disagree but still kek'd

(2/2)

>>14750292
>proves you wrong

>>14750154
Sexy women make my willy hard.
I want to see their boobies and their gash.
Although I am a sweaty ball of lard,
I wish a sexy girl would let me smash.

Alas, no girl looks past my pasty skin,
My acne scars and pungent smell of sweat.
No women see how NICE™ I am within,
They'd rather hook up with that douchebag Brett.

And so I cry and fap to animé,
I waste away in empty Cheeto packs,
Dreaming of revenge, and that one day,
I'll unload several mags into their backs.

(This is a hastily written parody of an incel stereotype and in no way reflects the author's personal views. Please don't watchlist)

>>14750342
here's something just off the cuff in return for your gay shit:

love, a blaze through a cock, ripe
steaming like sick stained piss out my love pipe
filling a mouth with rich sauce, a cream goo
what's in the heart's nothin
a pussy will do

the words aint enough
passion, soul,
something more!
blow off her cunt's dust
who cares? she's a whore.

if she bends over for me
then all is all right.
yes I'll tell you I love you
as long as you're tight

>>14750154
Its pretty good, but the good thing about love poems is that you reduce your audience down to one. I'm sure he/she is going to love it.

>>14750154
Kinda corny

>>14750154
I wrote this a few months ago

>>14750154
The fifth line's the weakest because it's insubstantial, the only line in the poem that really is
Anon toys with the idea of sustaining the opening sun/moon analogy (follow thee to horizon's../..dawn breaks) but does not sustain it throughout, which he should
Also the knight's too small a figure to mean anything seriously to an eternal sun/moon (or the reader)
My suggestion's that he be upgraded, aligned with universal 'night' (or the encompassing universe *thereby* encapsulating the beloved in her capacity as sun and moon) from the perspective of which not just sun and moon but the entire solar system is protected or sustained or merely favored by the faithful knight: this is not just his plaything but his consistent concern.
Really, only a few adjustments are necessary.

>>14750391
She'll never get to hear it, thus the theme of courtly love. Such is life, but thank you anon : )

>>14750413
Pardon? Youre not the anon who sent a Valentine to his beloved on V-Day only to be hit with response- have any more?

>>14750343
I'm sure the FBI will have a field day with this

>>14750434
what the hell whats going on who are you

Since anything counts as a poem nowadays:

"As you leaned forward to discuss your dissertation on Heidegger,
I had to awkwardly divert my eyes from your cleavage while coming to terms with being intellectually outclassed.
I am indescribably turned on every time I remember that evening."

And now I have to crank one out. Fuck.

>>14750447
incriminating. How could he.

>>14750450
Dude
I'm an actual /lit/ guy; there are a few of us here, ya know
What attracted me to this thread was a content and stylistic similarity to one I read on V day. I also submitted the little crit above fwiw. The poem has potential..
The title's great: an attempt to generalize what in fact's a very personal attempt.
Not making fun. Youre being human in a very sweet and wonderful way.

>>14750154
There is nothing wrong with this.

>>14750451
>And now I have to crank one out.
You don't "have" to, don't go the way of the coom brain

>>14750451
Put some effort in and you've got something, it's steamy.

>>14750488
Oh, I see. See, on V-day I made a post on r9k about a very similar subject, and I had no idea how someone could have connected the two. Thank you, anon : )

>>14750511
Cheers and good luck!

Made his just now after reading this thread, please rate

as sunlight graces mountaintops
and casts across the sky
and peers through leaves to kiss the ground
so too i meet your eye

lean down from yonder splend'rous seat
yet unmoved there you stay
possess your boldest lover still
who falls for you this day

grant me that fierce abandonment
that throws me to my rest
and paint me clawing, bloodied, spent
so clutch me to your breast

show me that ladder stretching high
that banishes my fear
and mightily instills in me
my love for sweet sophia

>>14750585
Just read this through quickly anon and I like it
Am off to work now unfortunately but if this thread's alive in ca. 10 hrs will give it a serious look. One quick thing, that concluding off rhyme fear/Sophia is very good