/lit/ - Literature

>>14684639

Also

Neil Gaiman

what did they mean by this

>>14684639
I got Orwell, but I put in an essay I wrote on chinese art history.

>>14684639
I got Megan Boyle, pretty pleased

I got Lovecraft.

I wrote about the State of Israel because I'm an edgy 15 y/o

>>14684708
>Lovecraft
>I wrote about the State of Israel
BASED

>>14684691
nice

i just wrote sum shit about a depressed couple and there stillborn child written in a sarcasticish well spoken tone. Not sure it really fits wallaces general aesthetic but eh

i put the *hits pipe* copypasta and got Vladimir Nabokov

>>14684639
this is a total joke. put in a couple of different paragraphs from my essay and each yields a different answer. it's also got nothing to do with style of writing but what you write about, an essay about space resulted in sci-fi authors and an essay about politics resulted in completely different set. nice clickbait

>>14684711
I just tried again with the story of when I tried to give a girl an exorcism, and got Ann Rice. I think I feel more satisfied with this second result.

>>14684729
lol

reminder that there are people that take this shit seriously

the fuck? Christian erotica?

>>14684729
I put this post in and it says you write like DFW

>>14684737
Yes.

>>14684728

>>14684639
ESL and proud

Not unhappy with this.

i put two of my best works in and got anne rice and agatha christie.
then i put my minecraft fanfic in and got james joyce lol.

I put in some of Guenon's writing and got Edgar Allen Poe.

Anyone have a goth edit of Guenon?

>>14684764
I put in Evola, and he came out as Lovecraft. Perennialists are all based goths.

>>14684639
i put in 5 different copypastas and they all said cory doctorow

except this one which was >dfw

I have masturbated to every single one of her videos. I found her relatively late in her youtube career, but I began as soon as I watched the first one. Within the next 3-4 weeks, I noticed that I have came to all her newly released videos and a few of her older ones I went back and watched. I then set a goal for myself to do all of them. I'm not gonna lie, it took me quite a while to complete the task, maybe a month or so. And again, not all of these were "relatively" sexy. However, I always found something about her that just begged for cum... of course her brapper, her strong strong features, her bitties, and her face. But to be honest, it's not even these common features themselves that set me off - but rather her metaphysical bredability.

Keep in mind, katielovesclassicbooks has over 400 videos. That means I've came to the idea of breeding with her over 400 times. At this point, I believe I've formed a cosmic connection with Katie in which mulitiverses are formed from pure thought. In each multiverse, I've bred her another child. And in one multiverse in particular, we've started an army. Katie is hooked up to a machine that keeps her legs spread and there are various tubes jammed in all over her, like one in her mouth that force feeds her and one in her ass that is an extension of her digestive system, and a couple connected to her tits that continuously milk her, and various machines keep her washed and shaved. I simply walk up to her once per day, sometimes twice, and activate the machine by saying "Hello my strong strong friends" and the mechanics bring her to my erect cock and the whole thing vibrates until I orgasm. Then when she becomes pregnant, the machines manipulate her onto an "accelerator" of sorts, which removes the fetus and places it within an artificial womb to grow. In this way, the beauty and youth of Katie's body is preserved. Also, she is released from the apparatus once per day to powerlift.

>>14684774
>>14684764
i-is this why i love goth chicks so much?

>>14684789
Yes.

>>14684639
Gentlemen, this is Tina.

The guys, wasted, attempt to greet Tina.

TINA
Who's the lucky groom?

The guys point at Fisher, roaring. Tina presses her lips to
Fisher's ear.

TINA
Hi Fisher.

Boyd dims the lights, cranks up the MUSIC as the guys stumble
for position on and around the couch. Tina starts to move,
very sexy.

Michael tokes a joint.

MICHAEL
God, I love women.

TINA'S DANCE MONTAGE

SERIES OF SHOTS:

TINA dances, slowly peeling off her clothes.

The guys are into it. Michael seems especially turned-on.

Tina moves in on Fisher, starts a very nasty lap dance...
somehow incorporating a rubber hose.

The guys hoop and holler...

Michael is mesmerized...

Tina grinds on Fisher's lap, touching her nipples...

Michael's going crazy... He tries to touch her, she slaps
his hand away...

Fisher can't take it anymore...

Tina relents... moves on...

Michael reaches for her leg like a dog in heat.

She passes over him, teasing, tormenting him, and settles
onto Adam's lap.

The guys roar in approval... Michael glowers...

Adam turns bright red as Tina arouses and rides him...

CRY BABY- TRACI LORDS

“I’m just a be-bop baby, and I don’t take nothing from no one! See ya later, daddios…” OK, so she’s not Meryl Streep… but Traci Lords has me laughing my ass off as I look as this clip again after so many years. For you Millennials who never heard of Cry Baby, check it out.

BOOGIE NIGHTS- NINA HARTLEY

Character as device. Nina Hartley’s character has what, three lines in the movie? Because of her poor Little Bill melts down which leads to one of the defining sequences in Boogie Nights. Let’s start with this driveway scene. You can find the full script here. The dialogue in this scene just flows, so natural…

Am I the future?

>>14684639
Someone who looks like he could be a boss is working at his desk. The secretary knocks on the door.

BOSS: Come in.

Secretary enters office. She takes off her clothes and they do it.

EXT. CAR WASH — PROBABLY MIDDAY

Man driving a red Corvette convertible pulls into car wash. The female car wash attendant comes up to the car.

WOMAN: Hi, can I help you?

MAN: I’d like a car wash. Please.

Woman takes off clothes, gets in car and they do it.

EXT. MOUNTAIN — LATE IN THE AFTERNOON

A hang glider sails into the picture from the top left of the screen and slowly circles as the camera zooms in. Soon, we can see that the hang glider is a naked guy. If you are Sharon, my ex-girlfriend, you will then recognize that the hang glider is actually me. Fuck you, Sharon! I am naked hang gliding in my own porn movie that I wrote all by myself! What do you think of that? I don’t just watch porn, I write it and hang glide naked in it. Also, why are you watching porn? I thought you hated porn, Sharon. Liar.

EXT. SWIMMING POOL — EARLY MORNING

Camera pans up to show a voluptuous blonde and a man. They are doing it.

Production Note: There should be no dialogue in this scene to make up for the hang gliding scene.

INT. LIVING ROOM COUCH — NIGHT

A fire burns. A couple (mostly clothed) is sitting on the couch drinking wine and gazing intently at one another. Suddenly, a man crashes through a window next to the fireplace. He is obviously a burglar. The woman screams.

WOMAN: Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

MAN: Hey! What do you think you’re doing?

BURGLAR: Nothing.

They all take off their clothes and do it.

>(1/2)

>>14684639
I don't need some gay ass quiz. It's Hunter S Thompson.

>>14684639
>lovecraft
Should i take this as a sign that i'm irredeemably shit?

>>14684822
EXT. — HIGHWAY AT NIGHT.

A single car is driving on the highway late at night.

INT. CAR

A woman looks into rear view mirror and sees police lights. She’s being pulled over by the police. She pulls car to side of the road. A police officer gets out. He has sunglasses on so people will recognize that even though he’s a cop he’s still kind of cool. He walks to the car and the woman rolls her window down.

POLICE OFFICER: Can I see your license and registration ma’am?

WOMAN: Of course, officer.

She unbuttons her top to reveal ample bosoms with the words LICENSE and REGISTRATION written on them. The officer pulls down his sunglasses, winks and gets in the car and they do it.

EXT. MOUNTAIN — LATE IN THE AFTERNOON

It’s the naked hang glider again. He does an amazing flip on the hang glider. The last thing Sharon, who is watching this at home, alone, expected to see is me hang gliding naked, again, in the porn movie she rented. She is furious! “I can’t believe that asshole is hang gliding naked in this movie,” she screams. She looks for my phone number and angrily dials. “I’m sorry, the number you have reached is not in service or has been disconnected,” a voice says. It is me, pretending to be the operator. “If you feel you have reached this recording in error,” I continue, “then maybe you shouldn’t be watching so much porn.” Then, I laugh and hang up. Of course, no one but Sharon knows all this is happening, so for everyone else the hang glider just sails off screen.

INT. HOT TUB — NIGHT

A woman strips naked and gets in a hot tub. As she settles in, a man suddenly jumps out of the water. He has been hiding underwater waiting for her. She smiles. Then, they start doing it.

INT. OFFICE ELEVATOR — EARLY MORNING

All the people from the movie who have been doing it arrive at work and realize they all work in the same building. They are very embarrassed because they’ve all been doing it in a porn movie. Then, they get naked and do it.

FADE OUT.

THE END

>>14684826

you could be niel gaiman anon >>14684656

>>14684763
post the fanfic

>>14684763
>>14684863
Seconding this

>>14684863
>>14684870
this is all i have. i have to play a bunch of minecraft in hardcore mode to be able to write the rest well, so it will take a lot of work to complete, even though it will only be a short story.

The sweat thickens on my brow. Every muscle is tense. My gaze is focused on nothing but the magnificent glowstone deposit that hangs above me as I crouch precariously atop a pillar of Cobblestone. Don’t look down. Futanari_Priest will hold off any mobs, just focus on doing your job. The diamond pickaxe strikes unceasingly and a shower of dust rains down onto the face of the Nether below. Triceps are on fire, filling with lactic acid. I feel a bead of sweat coalescing on my forehead. It reaches critical mass and begins its descent, stopped by my right eyebrow.
Pcheeuuueaaa!
Ghast.
Fuck, better hurry.
I reach down and build a five block bridge off the side of my perch. As I lift my head back up to hone in on a new patch of glowstone, the levy above my right eye breaks and stings it shut. Just then-
BOOM!
A hot spray of dust slaps me in the face and blinds my left eye as that bastard Ghast’s fireball detonates right where I was mining. The pickaxe escapes my grasp and plummets to the ground below. I fall to my chest on the platform and desperately try to wipe my eyes of debris.
“Fuck, Futa, what are you doing you nigger!?” I scream, “That nigger just blinded me, fucking kill it already!”
I get my right eye open and look at the cavern around me.
One, two, three, four, five…
Five fucking Ghast have zeroed in on us. A fucking ambush.
“We need to get out of here!” Futa yells from below.
“No shit, nigger, but I dropped my pickaxe.”
Whooosh, whooosh.
Fuck, is this the end? Is this how I die? I close my eye and brace for death, then-
BOOM! BOOM!
Nothing. The shots were aimed at Futanari and landed on the ground. He’s got them distracted now, I have to think quick. I still have my sword, but there’s no way I’ll be able to hit their fireballs back with one eye and no depth perception. I’m about twenty blocks up and I won’t survive a jump.
“Futa don’t worry about me, just keep them occupied for the next forty five seconds!” I yell.
“Okay, hurry!”
There’s a cavern wall at my elevation, about four chunks out, and its my only refuge. I grab my cobblestone and start building a bridge towards it.

>>14684903
thanks senpai

>>14684903
Kino

>>14684916
>>14684938
thanks, guess i'm gonna play minecraft all day. this idea has been sitting for a while, but i have the entire outline done. just have to put in the hours in the field.

I got Agatha Christie but then I cut my piece in half and got David Foster Wallace. What does it mean?

>>14684973
>What does it mean?
You are writing too much fluff.

>>14684639
I hope know no one takes this seriously. This thing is as accurate as a buzzfeed personality test; it's more about word choice that writing style. I put two pieces about the same thing with an astronomical difference in quality and style from two different people but they both got the same author. This is clearly one of those things designed just to make you feel good but telling you you write like a big boy. It's a fun and interesting concept though.

>Delete one word
>get completely different author

This site is bogus

Megan Boyle. Nice I guess

>>14684639
I got Kurt Vonnegut, which is ironic, because I hate his books.

>>14685558
Yikes.

My burgerpunk pizza man writing got Arthur Clarke. Huh.

>>14685638
You don't like Tolstoy?

Lmao every sober passage I put in I get some Canadian I've never heard of. But everything I wrote on acid gets Kurt Vonnegut. Yikes.

>>14685648
I put in Marilyn Manson lyrics and got Rudyard Kipling.

>>14684903

Big if true

lmfao I put in the lyrics for My Chemical Romance - Vampires will never hurt you and got joyce
joyce writes like an emo lmfaooo

>>14684639
>posted my real writing and got James Joyce
smell ya later plebs

>>14685704
See the post above you, bitch.

>Bram Stoker
who?

I got Agatha Christie

>>14685754
Oops pic

>>14684639
Neato. I got Agathe Christie. Hadn't even heard of her until this thing. Neat website, but I'll take it with a grain of salt.

this thing is probably harvesting your writing.
i put in three paragraphs from the same story and got nabokov, conan doyle, and christie
its bullshit.

>>14685266
vonnegut is overrated, they were only good for the time.

>>14684973
It means the website is bullshit and just storing all your work so it can sell it to slush publishers

>>14684822
>>14684828
Based

>>14685918
I hope they enjoy my essay on chinese art history.

it has like 7 options and seems to cycle through them randomly

absolutely shit app

>>14685967
It has at least 20 or so.

I pasted a chapter from infinite jest and it said arthur conan doyle.
The app is bullshit.

>>14685985
I put in the nigger poem Lovecraft did and got Lovecraft

>>14684639
Agatha Christie

Noice

>>14684639
Agatha Christie, Anne Rice, and James Joyce. Who tf is James Joyce?

I wrote something so cringy

>>14684639
>Agatha Christie
what the actual fuck

>>14684639
I put the lyrics to Freezing Moon by Mayhem and got H.G. Wells. Interesting turn of events

>>14684763
This as well

I pasted the navy seals copypasta four times and got Agatha Christie

>>14684763
>>14684973
>>14684763
>>14685754
>>14685829
>>14686003
>>14686069
>>14686306
>>14686351
Anyone who gets Agatha Christie is a pseud.

Different paragraphs of the same rant got me Margaret Atwood, Harry Harrison (literally who), and Poe.

>>14686457
>Harry Harrison
>author of Onions Green
lol

this website is a spook

>>14686362
>says the person who doesn’t write

>>14686765
I got Ann Rice.

>>14686799
Yes but you don’t write

>>14684639
Agatha Christie
Stephen King
Lovecraft
Nabokov

Getting either Joyce or DFW for anything I put in

>>14686811
No one reads what you write, and no one ever will.

k

Just wrote about some bloke called Peter thinking about some street boy that had been watching him at the market. Left it open-ended if it was justified worry or just paranoia

>>14686873
You should have made it about Peter being frustrated, because he is sexually aroused by these young street boy eyeing him. He wants to make love to this boy, but cannot, as society is oppressing, his sexuality.

>>14686853
The goodreads reviews of my work would contradict your statements

Arthur C Clark. I like that but it's strange because I've not read a thing he has written.

>>14684639
I got James Fenimore Cooper. Never read him myself, anyone want to tell me how i should feel about this?

>WTF?
Her sister answered with a repeating animated image of a surprised girl, in her com.

- What? In your dreams sis you might get to pilot a tug.-Answered with an audio message, trying to contain the laughter.-But... say... promise me? Mom and dad say they are dangerous but what if one day...

And next came a message, asking to open Vera's pod, probably Lith would be next to it since she just hit her soft spot: Her ideas about a future in college studying archaealogy, or the study of the technology left behind by the archailects, maybe even working for one of the corporations in Sagitario Station or the Free space, in some institution or foundation

Her parents talked about it and said that when the momment comes they were willing to sell the Teko IX to retire and pay for Lith's college, they just needed to save enough.

Luckly for Vera, the astronavigator course was far cheaper than college.

I jus translated this from my language from a random fragment of something I wrote like a month ago.

>only person itt who got Jack London
this is either a very good thing or a very bad thing.

>>14686992
Tried again and got Tolstoy, i can live with that.

>>14684737

cute

I translated some of my writings into English. I feel like my style is more like Dostoevsky's, but I am not very familiar with Dickens and have not read him in English.
rate

Tolstoy

>>14684639
>H. P. Lovecraft

I got dan brown

>>14684639
I have gotten H.P. Lovecraft. I have never read a book of his, yet, although most people seem to know him mainly through references made regarding Cthulhu. What else is particularly inspirational, by Lovecraft? Also, why is Lovecraft considered suddenly controversial on sites like Twitter and Reddit? What erupted, over that?

>>14687927
nigger, not even joking

>>14687927

>>14684639
George Orwell

>>14686362
I rolled again with another thing I wrote and got Arthur Clarke

>>14688323
You are already tainted by Agatha. Try again next life cycle.

Kurt Vonnegut, Bram Stoker, Leo Tolstoy for my philosophy notes, and Anne Rice or my Fiction

>>14688392
These were the two writings I used
https://www.docdroid.net/AJdc73v/a-dragons-guide-to-magick.pdf
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Od7d-ts2_KcOYWVeSNDoSKp0eZlzfcmIJhFQnWUuSiE/edit?usp=sharing

>>14684639
I know the artist that created this cover.

They said I write like Neil Gaimann!

>>14688809
>Neil Gaimann
>Gaimann
>Gai Mann
>Gay Man
WEW! Nigga, you gay.

>>14688809

nice youre on par with this guy >>14684656

>>14688789
cool

>>14684639
Me

I pasted a Yeats poem into this thing and it said Charles Dickens.

>>14684763
i put in the fart letter and also got joyce.

>got stephen king
what did he mean by this?

>>14689629
you fuck kids

"NIGGERS could be here" he thought, "I've never been in this neighborhood before. There could be NIGGERS anywhere." The cool wind felt good against his bare chest. "I HATE NIGGERS" he thought. Sweet Dreams are Made of These reverberated his entire car, making it pulsate even as the $9 wine circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) fear of minorities after dark. "With a car, you can go anywhere you want" he said to himself, out loud.

>>14689663
Surprised you didn't get Lovecraft. Perhaps you were a bit too on the nose.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PakqRlK5DA

Critique:
In the loneliness of a cold night, young Jackson went out looking for companionship, or atleast a conversation. He found a bar in the middle of a nameless street, and he went in.
"Can you show me some id?" The bouncer asked.
"Yeah sure," Jackson answered coolly, then he pulled out his driver's liscence and gave it to the bouncer.
The bouncer glanced at the card, "fine, go in," Answered, and gave it back.
He saw a few patrons scattered in the bar, a few sitting together on separate tables. The bar on the inside was surprisingly large and spacious. It had general brownness to the palate on the inside, it looked ugly, but had a warm feeling to its inside.
Jack looked around and saw an older gentlemen, in his late 40's perhaps, writing in a journal with a glass of burboun to his side. The man looked balding in the crown, and had what looked like a 3 week old unkempt beard, and wore round glasses with brown frame.

>>14684639
I got James Fenimore Cooper.

>>14684639
I also got Wallace, for this

g-guys.... i dont feel so good

WHY AM I AGATHA CHRISTIE I WRITE ABOUT MEN SLAUGHTERED UNDER AN ECLIPSE BY AN ARMY OF FANATICAL ZEALOTS

>>14684737
>>14684762
>>14690222
Anyone who gets Anne should stop writing immediately.
I keep getting her and that means that I am a shit writer and by extension so are you

>>14689930
Damn, that's hot garbage anon

i keep getting stephen king and dfw. it's over bros.

>>14690250
I got rice because of the glorious asian blood running in my vein. English can die in a fire, both the language and the filthy gaijin who can't appreciate rice

>>14690271
Ann Rice is an Anglo.

>>14689906

I did too. This thing is biased. What I posted sounded nothing like JFC

>>14684639
I had some fun. First I entered my excerpt and got Annce Rice. Then I added the part that contained dialogue and got Agatha Christie. Then I used a more philosophical work and got Arthur Clarke.
I then took Goebbels and it said that he writes like a leftist author Kurt Vonnegut. Evola writes, according to this, also like Arthur Clarke.

>>14684639
So I put in some of my diary entries, and I got Nabokov. lmao.

>>14690729
Also put in some entries I wrote a few years ago and got Kurt Vonnegut.

>>14684639
OK, this is based

Just wrote about my worries and aspirations moving forward in life and got Bram, pretty based ngl.

>>14684639
i put some shitty smut i wrote a couple of months ago and I got Nabokov
https://iwl.me/s/c3e0655f
Checks out.

>>14684639
I pasted the navy seal meme pasta and got Cory Doctorow.

Who?