/lit/ - Literature

>>14294168
Here I sit,
Broken hearted,
Came to shit,
But only farted

>>14294168
one day i come home
tired of life
suddenly i hear a moan;
Chad is banging my wife!

>NOOO CHAD
>YOU CAN'T JUST DIE NOW
>WHO WILL PUMP MY WIFEY BRAP

>>14294192
Sorry...Soijak

The creeping hulk was ever there;
So tall, and fine—what handsome hair!
But, oh, sweet boy, why hide?
Why hide! From me: your love.

>>14294168
O body of iron,
Only god could design.
With chiseled face,
And gleaming eyes.
O beautiful mind,
And piercing glare,
To the pain of this life,
It could not compare.

>>14294168
basedjack gigachad
and nothing more

>>14294168
I need to center this mirror a little better.

Wither has he gone?
What gave us the sponge to wipe away the horizon?
Chad is dead
And we have killed him.

>>14294168

I wait all day long,
Tied up, my hole yearns for shlong,
Please give me your dong

>>14294177
Then one day
I took a chance
Tried to fart
But shit my pants

>>14294168
He comin' through,
He comin' through,
He suckin' dick,
He suckin' dick,
Suck my dick so good.
I'm like god damn,
You dirty bitch,
You dirty bitch.

two memes collide
neither good.

>>14294168
For sale: Chad shoes, never worn

Today I open the door.
Tomorrow my anal virginity is no more.

Fucker used the whole fuckin roll again and left the tube on the hanger.

The end

Oh Gigachad,
You're such a cad,
To embrace the death,
To leave the gourmet.

>>14294168
The redditor had so much to tell his friend about how the date had gone, and so much to thank him for. Gigachad's entering Basedjack's life had changed it for the better, with Gigachad having encouraged Onions in all his passions, and his insistence on becoming the personal trainer of Basedjack had ensured that he would become a powerful man, in remarkable shape for a friendless virgin of 28 years. Then came the invites to parties. Gigachad always paid for Basedjack, who was cash strapped due to being wagecuck, to enter the club with him, and his encouragements to go talk to the Stacies made his fears melt away, such was the charisma of this adonis. Under the tutelage of the modern day Hercules, Basedjack had finally landed the job of his dreams as an investment banker, and had shortly thereafter been introduced to his employer's daughter, who was immediately taken with his intellectualism and by now impressive physique.

So one can only imagine the horror that crept upon the face of he who had so much to be grateful for, when his savior, his constant companion, was seen in this state. The draft from the open door caused his body to swing from side to side on the end of the well-tied noose, which was of the thickest rope to ensure it wouldn't break under the immense weight of Gigachad's musculature. There lay a note on the floor.

"To Basedjack,

You were the only one to not treat me like a piece of meat like all the whores out there. Your new gf is a good woman, and she will be loyal and take care of you. I've done all I can for you. Thank you.

Until we meet again,
Gigachad."

Basedjack fainted on the sofa at once.

>>14299511

>>14299511

>NOOOOOO GIGACHAD THE JEWISH BOOK SAID SUICIDE IS WRONG!!!!11!

>>14294168
"Should I call him a coward? Mock his swinging corpse? This--This-- This cold dead thing took everything from me! He made me cuckold, put horns upon my head! My children--My very own flesh and blood-- call him father! He had his way with my sister, mother, aunt, daughter, and my--my--my wife--my very own wife-- my wife divorced me because of him! She took my house and my fortune and gave it all to him! I feel as if I should hate him-- and yet-- yet-- I can't find it in me! Where is that green eyed beast that turns husbands into a fools and men into monsters? Where is stubborn pride? Grim faced valor? Wise justice? Am I not a man? Does my blood not run red? Why can't I hate him? I should be laughing! Pissing on his corpse! Stealing everything of worth in his manse! Why am I crying? God, why am I crying? I've only ever spoken to the man once in all my life. Aye, aye, only once-- when he called me here this morn. Did he do it to mock me? One last show of his superiority? 'Everything I had wasn't enough to live for'? Was that his message? There's a note on his stand, perhaps his last words. 'To basedjak, my wayward brother: In the top drawer of this stand lies a bottle of onions and a gun. Your choice'."
>basedjak views the gun and onions and considers his life. After much deliberation basedjak picks the gun. *BANG*
End scene