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/lit/ - Literature


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14291765 No.14291765 [Reply] [Original]

What books will help me understand the psychology of women who stay in abusive relationships, why they stay in them, and what goes through their head. Fiction or non-fiction, doesn't matter.

>> No.14291773

>>14291765
my ex accused me of being abusive, she was a dumbass

>> No.14291781

>>14291773
what exactly for? if you don't mind me asking

>> No.14291783

Life at the Bottom - Theodore Darymple

>> No.14291797

>>14291781
I physically assaulted her when she "accidentally" broke my Mustang's gearbox

>> No.14291802

>>14291797
Based and boomerpilled

>> No.14291803

>>14291797

So you abused her?

>> No.14291816

>>14291781
Basically just being a dick to her. Drinking, cheating, arguments, etc. I never hit her or anything. I did once pick her up and put her outside and locked the door, so she had to go around the house to get in through the back.

She informed me that I was a abusive a year after we broke up this one random day we hooked up. Had a whole little speech about it I dont remember much of, I just said 'ok' and she stared at me a bit and that was that.

>> No.14291908

>>14291765
That girl looks like her choker is blocking blood-flow to her head and so it's swelling up like its about to go kaput.

>> No.14291958

>>14291765
Barbara Oakley - Evil Genes

>> No.14291988

>>14291765
The Idiot is pretty heavy on this stuff, even if it doesn't seem like it a the start

>> No.14292000

The man is still valuable in her eyes and she probably feels too close because they fugged. Women are totally willing to change their entire being for the man they are with.

>> No.14292006

>>14291765
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effort_justification
I just saved you 20 bucks anon

>> No.14292009

>>14291803
>gaslighting
>damaging/ destroying his property
Sounds like he was the victim here

>> No.14292051

>>14291765
Abusive relationships consist in convincing the victim that they are the one to blame for any abuse and that they are incapable of better while dropping in a sweetener once in a while. Many employers actually use this kind of tactic to overwork and underpay their employees.

>> No.14292080

Any woman wil cycle thru 3 phases:
-the one who likes sex and money, ie the slut and wants to be treated like a princess
-the one who likes money and sex, ie the whore and wants to be treated like a princess
-the one who wishes she was even more of a slut or a whore and wants to be treated like a princess

there is only one type of men: the guy who will do anything to value women, to please women, to entertain womne, to care about women, spend time or energy or money on women.

>> No.14292096

>>14291765
they like being abused, what is there to understand?

>> No.14292105

>>14291988
>beta nice guy cope

>> No.14292140

Only trannies wear chokers.

>> No.14292398

>>14291765
Don't look at psychology, look at the economics

Often at the base of abusive relationship there is the fear of becoming homeless or having to go back home where the family was even more abusive

>> No.14292457

>>14292398
true. to add, some victims are financially dependent (often against their will or for a good reason, like staying at home with a newborn) on abuser.

also, in many cultures the relationship itself holds great value, or it's "shameful" to dump your husband.

>> No.14292466

>>14292080
>gay men
>will do anything to value women
This pasta is so poor it reads like a parody of pastas

>> No.14292484

when a woman sees a man be violent, as long as he wins the fight she thinks "omg what an alpha" doesn't really matter if she's the victim

>> No.14292531

>>14291765
I think this is an interesting topic, but it is kind of un-politically correct so it will take some decades to be studied.

>>14292398
>>14292457
You don't have a lot of life experience and spent too much time reading feminist books...
There are plenty of divorced women (who did leave their former husbands) who actually finance their abusive lovers who bring nothing to them.

>> No.14292567

>>14292531

Claim:
>some victims are x
Your retort:
>That's not true because some victims are not x

See how retarded you look?

>> No.14292568

>>14292531
It has been studied though.

IIRC, common conclusions that are reached on this topic are:
>Woman loves the guy and hopes that he'll change, since leaving him would be equally painful
>not wanting to upset her children if she has any
>being scared of the consequences if she did leave (since being "abusive" can often constitute being violent)
>financial reasons

Stockholm syndrome is also a very real thing, and it's not a gendered thing either, since I've also seen guys who outright ignore how abusive a girl's being to them.

>> No.14292572

>>14291765
ancient writers talked about this all the time. Its a retarded bias, that we think we are the first people dealing with this bullshit. Machiavelli: women enjoy being dominated because it shows they can also be protected. There are also many psychological reasons.

>> No.14292585

>>14292567
No, really, you took your "Economics" explanation out of your ass. You probably don't know many people.

>> No.14292595

>>14292585

It's not even my post. I just pointed out that your logic is retarded. If you want to claim "abused women are never financially dependent on their abusers", go ahead and make that claim. It would be retarded but go ahead. However I have an issue when you think you can disprove the claim "some women are financially dependent on their abusers" by saying "some women are not financially dependent on their abusers". That's just fucking dumb and shows that you are fucking dumb.
dumbass

>> No.14292605

>>14291765
Fuck her good and treat her like a whore, she won't leave you even if you literally turn her into a punching bag.
Women have no philosophy, they have no brains, no souls. They're just horny sheep.

>> No.14292629

>>14292595
You are too emotional. Cool your head down, sweetie.
That poster was claiming that most cases are about economics. The great majority aren't.
If that other poster (and you) knew people, you would know this.

>> No.14292732

>>14292629
>That poster was claiming that most cases are about economics.

No he was not

> The great majority aren't.

Go ahead and provide evidence for your unsubstantiated claim

>> No.14292738

>>14291765
you should probably check out Stockholm Syndrome.
youll find most people who suffer from Stockholm Syndrome are female. there is a sampling bias though, in that most people who end up in a situation conducive for the emergence of Stockholm Syndrome are female - there are simply more females being kidnapped to your secret basement. the flip side is that males have less value as long term kidnapees and/or involuntary roommate making little to no economic contribution.
>the female gender has always possessed more inherent value than the male gender by virtue of the vagina
this is probably also related to the War Bride syndrome. history seems to be littered with war bride anecdotes, whether that be concubines pining for the Khan's attention, or the Dutch females who willingly engaged in relationships/affairs with the Nazi invaders.

leaning more into conjecture, it may be argued that the display of extremely prominent "Chad" characteristics (e.g. i do what i want, when i want) is more valuable to a female than males who display beta characteristics, even with all things considered.
this could be reflect how little value provider traits matter when compared to top-dog characteristics.
>"id rather compete with other females and share the attention of Chad with other females than settle for a manlet"
luv and lust is perhaps more appropriately viewed through an emotional lens. the tingle trumps reason.
finally, success tends to breed success. an abusive Chad who has managed to have a string of abusive relationships with females may signal to dumber females some kind of "value."
when your in-group suddenly pays attention to something, you tend to automatically give it attention and value as well, by virtue of your in-groups behavior.
this is demonstrated in studies showing the hesitancy of people to provide a clearly correct answer when the rest of the "fake" participants answered another way
>"which stick is longer?"
>anon thinks: "well obviously stick 1"
>every other fake participant: "stick 2"
>anon: "its.. uhh.. stick 2?"
anecdotally, this is seen when males reflect on the female attention and interest they get from wearing a ring, entering a public space with a female paying him affection, or how opportunities seem to arise when favorable rumors about him begin to circle within a female in-group
>"Marriage is an important part of getting ahead. It lets people know you're not a homo. A married guy seems more stable. People see the ring, they think, 'At least somebody can stand the son of a bitch.' Ladies see the ring, they know immediately that you must have some cash, and your cock must work."

>> No.14292740

>>14292732
>Don't look at psychology, look at the economics
>Often at the base of abusive relationship there is the fear of becoming homeless or having to go back home where the family was even more abusive

>> No.14292747

People need the eggs

>> No.14292775

I'll save you the effort
They enjoy it

>> No.14292835
File: 791 KB, 2294x751, weininger.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14292835

>> No.14292852

>>14292568
So this would imply that the affection is not genuine but just an alternative for the fearful unknown?

>> No.14292982

>>14292852
In the case of the first conclusion, it's genuine love that keeps them shackled in the relationship, but otherwise yes. Victims of abusive relationships are caught between a rock and a hard place. From an outsiders perspective, you can tell a person that the most logical thing to do is leave the relationship, but in many cases, they won't listen to you until it turns into a life or death circumstance.

t. Someone who has known people stuck in abusive relationships.

>> No.14293011

>>14292982
Interesting anon, thanks. Hope you're doing better now

>> No.14293036

>>14293011
It wasn’t me stuck in a relationship. It’s observations I’ve made from both my parent’s divorce and also my friends who have been stuck in bad spots. My mother put up with my dad’s abuse for years and only took action once it turned violent. Similarly, I knew a girl who told me about having some trainwreck relationships before finding a stable bf, and one of my male friends who to this day continues to defend his mother despite her being explicitly controlling and manipulative with him.

>> No.14293037

>>14291816
Abusive isn't necessarily a physical thing

>> No.14293374

>>14291765

https://www.4channel.com

>> No.14293419

>>14291816
Sounds like you were abusive, bro.

>>14291765
No books. Just go to a pub and talk to people.

>> No.14293448

>>14291765
Anything written by a redpill author. After you've exhausted yourself on it, notice the similarities between what their ideology espouses and BDSM.

BDSM communities are literally overrun with women who want to be beaten and raped complaining about the lack of men willing to beat and rape them.

>> No.14293459

>>14293448
BDSM isn't abuse, dummy.

>> No.14293500

>>14293459
I didn't compare BDSM to abuse. I compared it to TRP.

>> No.14293513
File: 619 KB, 750x881, CC2AB973-AEE7-4915-9C45-D027DF3356A1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14293513

This is natalie now. Feel old yet?

>> No.14293526
File: 144 KB, 750x910, 9E11284C-9B2B-40CE-9BB3-453BB9EC59E6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14293526

>>14293513

>> No.14293659

>>14292605
You're a psychopath

>> No.14293714

>>14292605
Unironically this. Women are biological computers evolved to find the strongest man possible, and have his babies.

The strongest man generally isn't a gentle man.

>> No.14293717

>>14293513
gross as fuck

>> No.14293819
File: 506 KB, 750x545, 87802596-46CA-4285-A8D9-C9319E7C3114.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14293819

>>14293717
She is a beeutiful angle

>> No.14294140

>>14291816
>abusive
Okay so you were a horrible boyfriend to the point of abuse. Sounds like she was right.

>> No.14294225

>>14293659
Sociopath

>> No.14294261

>>14291765
>abusive
because they're not abusive relationships
women are hard wired to do their duty
some are badly behaved and deficient in nurturing character and accept their punishment

the only prevalent 'abuse' is the abuse against the institution of the family by the media hysteria and the state

>> No.14294310

>>14292466
Why do you think gay men become womens' pets? Having one gene doesn't protect you from the other.

>> No.14294315

>>14292009
there are no victims
this is just human dynamics

that i have to explain this to you is a pretty strong indication you are subhuman degenerate

>> No.14294330

who is this whore and where can i see her naked

>> No.14295440
File: 327 KB, 750x896, 83919D18-8AB2-4C0E-9D0B-8A07A273CA15.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14295440

>>14294330
Nowhere

>> No.14295502
File: 90 KB, 750x734, 1539909425257.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14295502

>>14291765
why are women so gross? whenever i see a woman i'm revolted, i get this visceral feeling of disgust like i looked at an open wound or raw sewage, when i see them all i can think about is their worthless vapid chatter about asinine bullshit and their machavellian emotional machinations and how they dress like whores because they always have to be paid attention to every moment of every day
can anyone relate to this

>> No.14295512

i dont even blame women. its retarded guys who fuck them up
>>14295502
you realize its MEN giving them attention right????

>> No.14295537

>>14295512
yeah because men are retarded, what's your point

>> No.14295538

>>14293513
Wtf is up with her face

>> No.14295626

>>14295502

"But when it suddenly dawns on us, or is forced to our attentions, that everything we think or do is necessarily tainted with the odor of the flesh, then, not uncommonly, there is experienced a moment of revulsion: life, the acts of life, the organs of life, woman in particular as the great symbol of life, become intolerable to the pure, the pure, pure soul.

The innocent delight of Oedipus in his first possession of the queen turns to an agony of spirit when he learns who the woman is. Like Hamlet, he is beset by the moral image of the father. Like Hamlet, he turns from the fair features of the world to search the darkness for a higher kingdom than this of the incest and adultery ridden, luxurious, and incorrigible mother.

The world, the body, a woman above all become the symbols no longer of victory but of defeat. No longer can the hero rest in innocence with the goddess of the flesh; for she is become the queen of sin."

-Joseph Campbell, Hero With A Thousand Faces

Until you undertake to withdraw the accumulated dross of your own projections from the world, and see the creation around you not as an objective world, but as a phenomenological reality, you will continue to wallow in the filth of your own degeneracy and serve as a spreading bastion of negativity.

Women aren't gross. You perceive them as gross, and so are revolted. Your beliefs generate your subjective reality. Time to start living your own life. Not this patchwork Frankensteinian creation of other people's opinions that you have decided to adopt as your personality construct.

>> No.14295643

Provide 50+ peer reviewed academic studies that confirm the existence of the female orgasm

>> No.14295651

>>14291797
Chad

>> No.14295926

>>14294310
many women feel safe around gay guys
and some gay guys (especially those who look pretty gay) just can't have straight male friendships because 1. they may have few common interests so bonding can be difficult or 2. straight men often are homophobic, especially non whites
t. fag who is friends with both straight guys and straight women (and other degenerates like me as well)

>> No.14295938

>>14295926
are there normal acting gay guys, or do all gays have some kind of secret fag gene that makes them lisp and act like catty homos?

>> No.14296006

>>14295938
i am a gay man and i don't think i "act" gay, i have always been sporty and i have a decent amount of straight male friends
not sure why some gays are so effeminate but there's probably fag gene involved or hormones
even masculine gay men tend to take care of their appearance, have good skin, dress well, work out, etc. which gives off a "gay vibe"

>> No.14296022

>>14296006
the gay vibe is real

do you also notice that gays talk like this
>hot bro. str8 acting here bro that's real hot bro gettin hot bro. hot that's hot bro.

>> No.14296035

What's it like having an abusive gf? Like I can't even imagine it, how do you let yourself be abused by a woman?

>> No.14296044

>>14296006
Do you have the voice though? I've never met a gay without the voice

>> No.14296050
File: 520 KB, 581x728, F4D25E3D-C7C7-4118-965E-D4E7E79DB7D7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14296050

>>14295538
Photoshop I imagine

>> No.14296059

>>14296022
honestly taking care of your appearance is a feminine trait at least in /oursociety/. but this board will never get that there are good things about femininity
i think calling men you're banging "bro" is weird but i've met men who do that all the time and its pretty cringe, sounds like you're faking it
i'm not faking anything i'm comfy with my feminine side. i'm a bitch bottom

>> No.14296061
File: 504 KB, 1536x2048, 1568242436210.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14296061

>>14291765
Lord deliver me from my lust for easy whores with chokers and septum piercings.

>> No.14296069

>>14293513
>>14293819
She is literally a cumskin, however there's something about her colorful image that turns me on.

>> No.14296075

>>14296044
a lot of bi dudes don't have the voice
i do have the voice to some extent but i can definitely pass off as straight, i do it to my family every day lol

>> No.14296101
File: 628 KB, 750x687, D382FCB1-B6A8-4BCD-B494-1288F9EDFC15.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14296101

>>14296069
>>14296061

>> No.14296557
File: 56 KB, 640x596, 0ekwjipwuu131.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14296557

>>14291765
a man who has the strength to harm you must also have the strength to protect you. There. There's your answer.

>> No.14296795

>>14291765

>Know girl during and after abusive relationship
>During: Don't hear a dozen words out of her over a year of seeing her at least every other day; total accessory to her man, ordered not to do anything, especially speak or make friends without his permission. Definition of an empty shell
>After: Highly social, talks to and makes friends with everyone, artistic and active, "night and day" doesn't half describe the difference
>Taste in men still dogshit, all brief relationships since with (very obvious) creeps and assholes
>Hear her giving this one loser relationship advice one day
>Highlight: "You've gotta be a little mean or you might seem boring"

Sometimes it's hard not to develop "nice guy" opinions. Some girls would see foam on a dog's mouth and think "Probably just thirsty, I should pet it!"

>> No.14296805

>>14291773
Same

>> No.14296821

>>14292568

>>Woman loves the guy and hopes that he'll change

This irks me more than anything, I've known a good few girls who will hear friends talk about how awful a guy is, then end up with him, then eventually end up saying the same things. Literally seen a rapist go through like half a dozen girls in the same circle.

I always wonder if it's some sort of conceit. Like, "He acted like that with these girls, but they're not as special as me, it'll be different, I'll be the one to tame him", or something.

>> No.14296848
File: 42 KB, 716x900, 1524933958102.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14296848

>>14293659
lol found the woman

>> No.14296875

>>14292466
gay men aren't men you binarist beast

>> No.14296905

>>14292080
I don't think you know what a phase is. Do you mean types?

>> No.14296983

>>14296875
Are ostriches not birds because they can't fly? No, of course they are birds. You fucking faggot.

>> No.14297072
File: 97 KB, 515x774, 191651_1_ftc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14297072

>>14291765
great book recommendations everybody, give yourselves a pat on the back for another high-quality thread courtesy of /lit/. OP try this one

>> No.14297104

>>14297072
op here, ultimately I hold men to be at their nature, retarded and beastlike, and therefore can't really bring myself to hold them accountable as I have doubt that these people could change how they are, which is why my default response is to shift responsibility onto the woman for staying in that situation.

>> No.14297155

>>14297104
well that sounds like a self-serving and intentionally shortsighted viewpoint. try reading more books

>> No.14297313

>>14297155
not an argument but I'm willing to learn, please recommend

>> No.14297588

>>14292398
Stop posting this you robotic retard

>> No.14297596

>>14292738
Only good response here

>> No.14297601

>>14297588
Women are materialists. Sorry to spoil it for you xD

>> No.14297605

>>14292398
>don't look at this shitty social science, look at this other shitty social science

>> No.14297900

>>14296006
I’m not even gay, and part of me suspects that some people might think that I’m gay since I’ve always thought that I have a faggy sounding voice, I dress well and am somewhat effeminate in personality.

Women also seem to be extremely friendly with me despite me being a weird autist (although I’ve been called “cute” by girls before, so IDK if that interest is platonic or not). I get the feeling that this effeminate/faggy energy goes beyond sexuality.

Ironically enough, the only LGBT guy I’ve met was an extremely masculine man.

>> No.14298128

Sex and Character by Otto Weininger

>> No.14298167

one of the biggest red pills is the first time you realize that women experience literally no disconnect between saying X when it feels good to say X, and completely betraying and contradicting X five seconds later when it feels good to do that. women like to "try on" male-centric morals and virtues like children playing dress-up, but they don't actually know what it means to set up a virtue as an objective principle for oneself and then resist the temptation to break it in future moments when it stops being convenient and pleasant.

so if you ask a woman what kind of guy she values, she will blab on and on for hours about how noble she is and how she sees through superficiality and only wants sweet genuine men and etc., etc., etc. then five seconds later she'll completely contradict everything she said. the key thing to understand about women is that they don't perceive any difference here. from a man's perspective, you are thinking "but she said 'i only do X' and two seconds later she did 'non-X'?" this is because the fundamental modality of male consciousness is erecting principles and trying to follow them - even if you're a shitty man, it just means you're shitty and weak at erecting principles, not that the FUNDAMENTAL modality of principle-erection is absent. a woman's fundamental modality is "doing what i feel like." to a woman, that behavior is completely consistent: in the first instance, she did what she felt like. then she did what she felt like again. only a man perceives that the CONTENT of the actions was contradictory, i.e., would be contradictory if performed by a man. but for a woman whose primary stream of consciousness is "what do i want to do right now? :) perhaps i'll wear a ribbon in my hair tomorrow, trala la!," no such contradiction occurred, or indeed is even possible.

>> No.14298189

>>14292096
this is the correct answer, especially if the woman is under 30

>> No.14298211

>>14295626
Based

>> No.14298435

Bluebeard

>> No.14298686

Oh but when I make this thread and even provide a very relevant image and some relevant background information, it gets deleted.
>>/lit/thread/S14236018

Whatever I don't need /lit/ I dont need anyone when the world is always out to get me I can figure everything out on my own