/lit/ - Literature

If I could choose between all or you dying or not, I'd definitely choose yes

>>12182035
Thank you

I honestly believe tobacco is harmless and in many cases, beneficial. At the very least, the dangers are drastically overhyped and rely on weak science.

>>12182087
Man I really love the smell of cigarettes. I don't even mind the aftertaste in somebody's mouth after they've had one. People say I'm crazy or disgusting, or both.

My kitten smells really good. I think this is what babies smell like to women, so I kind of get that now. Anyway I really want to hurt my kitten because it's small and soft and I could do it so easily. Like just throw him into the wall suddenly. I'm always picking him up to get him out of trouble so he's used to it and I could just thwack him onto the floor. In my head it's like slapping dough on the table. He likes having his tummy scratched, but I don't always want to bend down so I use the sole of my foot and rub his belly. He play-fights with it and all I can think about is pressing down. He's so soft and squishy, and it would be easy to clean up afterwards. He's a lovely cream-and-ginger color and he's going to be really big - he's only four months old and he's in the middle of his growth spurt. If I wanted to to could just stop feeding him. I keep him inside the house and there's nothing fpr him to eat other than what I give him. I could wander around and ignore him when he whines for food and kind of watch him get thinner and thinner out of the corner of my eye. He'd probably be really confused and upset, because I've fed him since he was a baby. I wonder what kind of sounds he would make.

>>12182087
I genuinely struggle to think of a cause and effect in medicine that's more strongly supported than smoking causing cancer.

>>12182017
can i do it, /lit/?

>>12182132
if you were going to do it you would have done it already

How much math and science does one need to know in order to start reading analytic philosophy?

>>12182141
none

>>12182017
I resent the creators for giving other people so much and me so little.

>>12182141
The more the better.

Whenever people give the advice to "be yourself" I wonder what exactly is this self of mine that I should be. Is it the me that comes naturally, with no mediation or efforts? That can't be "my self" since it's under the conditioning of societal expectations and other things. So is it the self that is completely free of the weight of others that I should strive to be? Or is the self that lives in my ideas, my idea of myself, or the self that watches this life as a 3rd person? Is it really "my self" if I need to put on effort to be it? But the effortless self is never truly mine.

>>12182136
thanks.

w-wait...

Do all women have mental illness?

>>12182150
hi tumblr

>>12182183
Whenever people tell you to "be yourself" they're just taunting you, knowing full well that it's just a piece of meme advice that will never help you. It's sort of like willfully pointing someone the wrong way when they're asking for directions.

>>12182087
I don't know about that. I do know that nutrition and exercise, specifically anaerobic exercise, can negate the vast majority of the deleterious effects from smoking. Smoking combined with sedentary living and a fatty shitty diet is a death sentence.

Look up the research done on Japanese businessmen in Tokyo and lung cancer rates. Japanese salarymen smoke more than almost anyone else and Japan itself has relaxed attitudes toward smoking, with it being banned in in door places only recently. These men also have extremely low incidence of lung cancer; they aren't distinguished from the control population.

It's probably because of their diet and to a lesser extent genetics.

>>12182196
>2018
>not knowing the wisdom normies are clumsily trying to convey in an inability to better phrase their thoughts due to being too much of a brainlet to infer it from them anyway
Aw man oof gosh ouch
It's real unfortunate that you need to be wise to become wiser, sucks for you huh

>>12182208
>Aw man oof gosh ouch
>It's real unfortunate that you need to be wise to become wiser, sucks for you huh

>>12182196
>knowing full well that it's just a piece of meme advice that will never help you.

It's all I've done all my life and it's worked so far. It's like the saying 'if you build it, they will come'. If you become your true self and follow your passions, you will find yourself in the company of fellow enthusiasts.

>>12182230
>it's worked so far.
>posting on an Atlantean Ark-building stone tablet exchange

I got memed into reading A Little Life and after 600 pages realized it was shit but had devoted too much time to put it down. Do people really love this to sound intellectual or because they are so desperate for any sort of gay representation? The length itself is insulting, what could have been done in 400 pages was made double for repetitive torture porn.

>>12182196
I don't think that's case. Maybe it is deep down but a lot of people, maybe even most, give this advice to heart, genuinely.

>>12182230
Who was your true self that you had to become, how did you find him?

>>12182183
The better advice is "find out who you are"

>>12182203
And even then it's fairly difficult to fuck yourself up real bad from smoking. You need to be one of those sorry motherfuckers who subject themselves to smoking a two packs a day. If you're able to put up with that filth for nothing in return you're a bad addict.

You could at least be getting high for the same price, cigarettes are expensive in many parts of the world. You could buy a dimebag of pot and be in bliss without the risk of horrible death for the same price as a pack.

>>12182235
Well yeah I like it here. This website has plenty to offer, and when I get bored, I leave. Being here isn't such a prison that people make it out to be. If you have a crippling addiction to it, then maybe.

>>12182250
By doing the things I enjoy, with confidence and no longer being so afraid of what other people might think of those things. Be honest with yourself and be who you want to be; confidence is sexy.

>>12182117
I agree 100%.

Am I an idiot /lit/ ?

I told a friend about my feelings for her while over the weekend. I expected her to turn me down. She didn't. She told me she liked me too. We kissed a bunch. It was nice.

She lives in another country, and will for the next six months at least. She's impulsive, she just got out of a 5-year relationship, she cheated on her last boyfriend, she drinks too much, she has huge daddy issues, bigger mommy issues, she is definitely not good for me and she makes me so fucking happy it's ridiculous.

This will most likely end in heartbreak for me. Why do I do this to myself?

>>12182286
Yes and because you are an idiot.

>>12182297
Thought so.
Fuck.

>>12182017
I want to kill my disgusting mother.

>>12182263
>>12182087
>You could at least be getting high for the same price,
>You could buy a dimebag of pot and be in bliss without the risk of horrible death for the same price as a pack.
Tobacco stimulates the mind and helps with focus. Cannabis, especially chronic, does the reverse and dumbs it down. People read on tobacco. Cannabis consumers watch Richard Mortemer
Users of tobacco do not smoke for recreation. They smoke it because it is a mental performance enhancement drug whether they recognize it themselves or not. The brain knows it is good for them. That's why the dumbest people are the most dependent because it enables them to perform and work in the world.

Sometimes I wonder if I (or even humanity in general) would be better off with passing down occupations again. Like blacksmith, farmer, etc. I feel like this entire "freedom to choose" is just a capitalist plot to have more of a monopoly but still retain slaves. There are comparitively few small businesses/co-ops and they can hardly compete against bigger companies that exploit everyone and everything.

Of course, the rich hand off their companies and groom their children for the task.

University/college is not just a trade school instead of a place of learning for its own sake. Just a factory for information kept behind a paywall that rewards you with paper and connections if you're lucky.

why do incels get all the hate but not the narc hypersexual whores that make up all of the women in their 20- 30s in this society?

>>12182590
Because the incel is the proletariat, and women the bourgeoisie.

got 2 credits on audible recommend me a non-fic to cop

>>12182600
revolution imminent

>>12182514
Read paul goodman and take the guild pill

>>12182590
They both lust after the flesh. They're related to one another, not opposed.

I thought I would get over my oneitis by recognizing that I had just projected a fantasy onto someone and that my infatuation blinded me to that, but instead I just miss the illusion and hurt whenever I think about how the good times I had with her were all just a lie. I'm hounded by the memory of someone who never even existed. How can I save myself if I'm already that far gone?

>>12182686
that doesn't matter; incels are the ones that are hated

>>12182689
So if you had good times with her, does that mean you actually dated? I always that a oneitis was impossible to date, as in you never stand a chance with her.

I’m a boring cunt

>>12182689
lol i'm so glad i grew out of oneitisism that shit is torture

>>12182718
No, we were just close friends, (or at least I thought we were. she was certainly my best friend) and I thought our relationship was becoming more and more intimate until one day she casually mentioned her boyfriend and the whole thing shattered.

>>12182746
Tell me about it. I'm pretty sure I've walked past you in between classes before and you look like you have the personality of a stick. My advice: don't shave, wear shorts that are at least 5 inches above the knee, and wear outdoors clothing.

>>12182754
Damn. Have you always projected fantasies on women, or just her in particular?

our choices in life are do or don't do. those who do arguably get further towards their goals than those who don't do. i need to do

>>12182754
how can you not know your "best friend" has a boyfriend?

I'm starting to hate being an authority figure. I've become a teacher and every day I must slowly carve away at the natural anarchic tendencies of my students to mold them into responsible adults. I just want to goof off again and spread pure merriment rather than laying down the law. I have brief moments of clarity during my workday where I ask myself the question "has this been me all these months?"

>>12182784
doo doo xD

>>12182117
Smell is good, at least for premium cigarettes and pipe tobacco but the other stuff, no. Inappropriate and too much information.

>>12182286
Actually idiotic.
End it now or suffer the stings of hopeless love.

>>12182834
>the taste in somebody's mouth after you kiss them is inappropriate

what are you some kind of puritan?

>>12182183
>>12182256
"know thyself" was inscribed on the temple of Apollo at Delphi

>>12182774
I wouldn't say I've projected fantasies before, but I've had an unhealthy dependence on women for a long time. I think it stems from me being an unironic holden-tier late bloomer in high school who struggled with forming male friendships and was depressed as hell. Girls were kind and compassionate and told me they cared about me and understood my emotions. The result is that I strongly associate things like beauty or compassion with women, something I'm sure many anons here would ridicule.

Theres a girl in my group project for college. I like her but I don't know what to do. I find her attractive and we seem to get along well, but so what? Is there anything else? When our eyes meet and she smiles at me it feels good but is that enough? Do I have the warrant to ask her out just cause of those reasons?
I don't even know if I want a gf, or if I want her in particular as a gf. I hate the dating culture, because what she's presented me I like enough to be interested, but now what if I asked her on a date and then she isn't what I hoped when I get to know her more. I hardly really know her now.
Thursday is potentially the last day I'll see her as our class will be over. But what am I supposed to do? How would I ask her out? Do I even actually want to ask her out or am I just getting tired of being without any intimacy for over a year and a half?
Fuck

>>12182874
>holy shit a girl forced to work with me in class smiled at me...
>i don't know if i'm ready to commit to this relationship!

get a load of this kid

>>12182867
I sympathize with ya mate, as awful as it is I am the same way. Of course, I've tried working on it, but no luck so far. I think what we should still have fantasies but not project them all at once. Bit by bit we should mold the other person to our standards, not overwhelm them

>>12182858
>muh puritan
This is a buzzword, one that shows an ignorance of history.
Concurrent Catholicism was much more strict in terms of social norms than the Puritans. Puritans were only socially conservative relative to the Anglican church. They still were a bunch of degenerates.

>>12182811
x)

>>12182900
Anglos cannot not be degenerates.

>>12182874
made me smile at your post
anyhow, do it after the holidays or don’t do it at all. 90% she’ll turn you down because girls generally don’t date classmates.

>>12182675

The anarchist? Despite being one myself I have never heard of this guy if he's the one you're referring to. Any particular reading recommendations from him?

>>12182887
You're missing the point

>>12182917
>90% she’ll turn you down because girls generally don’t date classmates.
literally how the fuck are you supposed to meet girls then? I feel like after high school your chances of meeting a girl drop considerably

>>12182900
you know what i mean, don't be cute.

>>12182954
That's just a lie, something we pass around here and there to keep any of us from reaching better heights.

>>12182954
Not all students at your college are your classmates

>>12182954
dont listen to that bitter anon, classmates are THE prime people to get to know/ask out on dates. and yes, it gets much harder once you graduate, so at least get all the experience you can now.

>>12182963
Nah it's definitely true for most of us cause the majority here is either neets or emotionally dead zombies who have no opportunity to meet women and are too autustic to capitalize on it when we do

>>12182985
>No opportunity
Nigga you just fucking meet them in class, that simple

>>12182954
chicks fuck chads from their classes, they dont fuck you, if u want to fuck chicks u should join some gay student orgs like the young stalinist league or whatever, at least that's what i did

>>12182993
Stalin would not approve

>>12182994
genuinely cant see stalin caring

>>12183001
If that's what the stalinist league teaches then it's time to move on, comrade

>>12183003
im not that anon and i dont like communism, i just like Stalin because he killed a lot of people and made women submit to men, which are based and redpilled things to do

>>12183010
Stupid fucking reasons to like Stalin, comrade. You'd be one of the first to be cropped out of the picture, for sure.

Reminder that Stalin was a first rate intellectual.

>>12183016
no matter how faithful you were Stalin would probably have you killed anyway, because he was based and redpilled

>>12183025
Another capitalist plot to dissuade young, ardent proletarians from banding together. You might convince others, but not this tovarsich, no sir.

>>12183028
>proletarians
do you work in factory or something

if you want to commit a violent coup and seize the means, i am 100% on your side, let's do it

there's always gotta be that one annoying guy at work

>>12183036

Brocialists go gulag.

>>12183036
Let's fucking do it.

>>12183077
ok just have to take my asthma medication

>>12183085
Oh and please don't forget to bring snacks. A hungry comrade is a useless comrade.

>>12183090
>. A hungry comrade is a useless comrade.
shouldve informed the soviets of this

>>12183093
Fuck, another westerner here to give his "opinion" about what the "glorious soviet union" should've done.

>>12183103
killed the ethnic minorities tbqh

>>12183117
The proletariat is an amalgamation of every race. The most divine working class knows no color, nor gender. It is pure and is at every moment reeling into its destiny.

>>12183128
>reeling into its destiny.
to die in a gulag?

>>12183128
if proletarians were smart they wouldn't be proletarian

>>12183134
An excellent destiny, to be sure. For who among you poor, downtrodden laborers wouldn't jump at the opportunity to prove your devotion to the communist party by withstanding the harshest conditions which bourgeois nature throws your way?

>>12183138
You are confusing THE proletariat with the lumpenproletariat, tovarisch. No worries, for both are very similar, but the former is distinguished by the later insofar as it revels in avoiding the comforts of education and intelligence.

I'm not trying to be a retard, I just don't know how to handle both the plot and the metaplot

>>12183076
>>12183036
>>12183028
>>12183077
>>12183085
>>12183103
>>12183103
>>12183093
>>12183117
>>12183128
>>12183134

>>12183188
Yes, a helicopter built from the sweat and toil of the working class. And you know you stitched his fine clothes? The proletariat. Furthermore, I'm quite certain the lens in his glasses didn't come about by the invisible hand of the market but were willed into existence by the labor of my brethren in arms.

>>12183193
Shit he's not wearing glasses. Well, show's over folks.

>>12183201
It's over alright.
*pushes out side of helicopter*

>>12183209
NOT SO FAST CAPITALIST SCUM I yell as I grab the side of the hulking imperialist beast, ripping the blades off with the strength of ten thousand motherlands.

I think I broke the regular plot...

>>12183219
This is cringe and belongs on /pol/ and leftypol. This isn't writing what is on your mind. This is just shooting the shit.

>>12183224
The only thing occupying this mind are the ideals of the proletariat.

I think I wouldn't mind being married to someone whose past partner had died, and I think I'd prefer it over them being divorced.

Verisimilitude. Verisimilitude.

What's wrong with my plot? Why did I have to be shoehorned into someone else's plot. You know perfectly well that wasn't what I meant by anything, but you still forced that interpretation on me and expected me to play along with it, when I'm not even conversant with it intellectually, let alone at that level. I mean wtf.

>>12182867
Boy if I don't know that feel.

What the fuck do you want from me anyway? You knew what kinds of texts I'd read. Did you even bother to read them yourself? There was nothing wrong with my reading or perspective, even if it wasn't aligned with any traditional metaphysics. If you're at the point of instantiating metaphysics in computer code anyway, it's all equally arbitrary, so I'm more right than you are, with your bizarre expectation that I should be able to discern your system through its effects after a single incident. Fuck you.

>>12182017
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Cringe thread

>>12182754
I don't know if this will make you feel better, but I was in almost the exact same situation as you (except just friends rather than best friends) and I asked her out and she said no. I too do the whole oneitis and fantasy thing with her but I think I do it a little less now.

y'know, /adv/ has these threads called 'get it off your chest'. you could go post your >tfw no gf stories there instead of shitting up a thread that was meant for literature

>apple music posts top 100 streamed albums of 2018
>every single album is hip-hop or rnb

guitar music sucks but damn not even one...

>>12182132
keep doing what you think is good, both for you and people. and hey, don't harm yourself, dear

>>12182017
That I am the only person I know who thinks it's thoroughly anti-Civilization for women to wear tight clothing because it turns us men into animals and it makes women look undignified.

There should unironically be a stricter law in the books for public decency in relation to clothing. Else more rapes will likely occur.

>>12182418
It's the nicotine mate, and lack of oxygen.

>>12182514
Christopher Lasch talks about this within a few of his books. Choice (or at the least appearance of it?) creates anxiety, paralysis and disappointment.

i was like woah id read this shit for fun not even for pseud cred as a cook at some park and there nothing big but i still come here i know an actual crack dealer that watches anime he was a massive web of fleshy organs pulsating and warping about it but id never read like an issue of the u s a our minds are an activated seaurhcin of y e s whenever a pair of inflated ff tits flash across the screen that we hold on the garden honestly people are so uptight i was started getting followers myself and this guy was sitting on his couch and he honestly never got into criminal activities at all he didnt even sell drugs like the rest of us he worked as a kid in some rural county clink i didt have the worldliness to dig it now im like

>>12182514
Having tried to choose and failed, I agree 100%.

>>12182017
Children these days are fucking cancer.
They have an ill mouth, they spend their days watching shitty youtubers swear and play minecraft, spoiled by their spineless parents.
They bully other kids that are shy or naive (as children should be in the first place) with the cruelty of an adult.
If Holden was real and lived in our time he would blow his head off

>>12183921
it's a little silly to blame the most innocent members of society for their behaviour. Everything that's 'wrong' with children is due to predatory inventions that they have no control over.

>>12183921
Judge Holden or Holden Caulfield?

This album.

>>12183941
it'll be Caulfield due to his sperging out over the graffiti

>>12182286
>she cheated on her last boyfriend
then she will probably cheat on you. not even an insult it's just the way cheaters are

about 9 hypno hands free orgasm attempts and still no dice. comfy af sessions through

>>12183938
>children
>innocent

You retard. You fucking imbecile.

>>12182874
dude you don"t have to marry just look up some concert or sth to do and ask her to come with you and see what happens from there

I wanted to write a novel but i thought i couldn't make money here in my shithole as a writer. So i went for the filmschool option and now i don't think i want to be a filmwriter even though there is much more money here in that and the writing doesn't even need to be as good as a novel.

>>12182286
end it

I didn't get no sleep at all last night
My shoulders were as heavy as lead
I felt something was just not right
I had to roll a little spliff for my head
So I took a walk inside
Talked to I, I self
Trying to ease these pains of mine
Oh Jah give I strength

>>12183656
Most remarkable. Thank you for your sharing your astute psychopharmacological prowess. It was extremely enlightening and certainly cleared things up.

My psychiatrist is convinced I'm a sociopath, I don't believe me because I just feel like I'm making rational decisions in my life. But an hour ago I had a conversation with a colleague and put up an act to seem more "fragile". Worked and got her sympathy, now we might get lunch together. Reflecting of the amount of times I've acted/lied to get what I want I'm slowly starting to believe my psychiatrist. Still don't feel like I'm doing a bad thing however.

There's this medicine I take to try and unstuck my emotions, and I started taking it again three days ago after half a year's hiatus. Last night, I had another nightmare - the first one in many months - and again, it was about my troubled home life. I guess this pretty much confirms that the reason I can't feel anymore is because I simply couldn't handle it back then, and with no idea where to go, my mind just sort of tuned out to where nothing in the world could have an impact on me, and everything felt the same. Like an absolutely safe capsule.

It is really good to know I am not insane, and that I did feel like a normal person once, but I'm confused on what to do from here. I suppose I'll keep trying the recommended medicines and something like ECT if I can. This probably sounds bad to you guys, but these nightmares are solid evidence that I'm not a schizo or a demented human or anything, and I have a good chance of feeling normal again. I would give almost anything for that.

>>12182123
>My kitten smells really good. I think this is what babies smell like to women, so I kind of get that now. Anyway I really want to hurt my kitten because it's small and soft and I could do it so easily. Like just throw him into the wall suddenly. I'm always picking him up to get him out of trouble so he's used to it and I could just thwack him onto the floor. In my head it's like slapping dough on the table. He likes having his tummy scratched, but I don't always want to bend down so I use the sole of my foot and rub his belly. He play-fights with it and all I can think about is pressing down. He's so soft and squishy, and it would be easy to clean up afterwards. He's a lovely cream-and-ginger color and he's going to be really big - he's only four months old and he's in the middle of his growth spurt. If I wanted to to could just stop feeding him. I keep him inside the house and there's nothing fpr him to eat other than what I give him. I could wander around and ignore him when he whines for food and kind of watch him get thinner and thinner out of the corner of my eye. He'd probably be really confused and upset, because I've fed him since he was a baby. I wonder what kind of sounds he would make.
This was a great read

>>12182017
I fucking hate talking to northern Europeans. It's like talking to a baby zealot. These people are fucking retarded.

>>12182286
literally every relationship with a woman is like this. just go with it and enjoy the sex. just don't expect it to last and don't have any expectations. oh, dont wait for her when she's abroad, but fuck her when she's back

>>12183948
Yup. Listen to the Brian Jonestown Massacre.

>>12182203
but why inhale tobacco when you can smoke a pipe?

>>12182704
Nobody hates incels inherently. Incels just make it really hard for you to like them.
Same with party whores. Nobody likes these either. But at least they're "enjoying" life as opposed to incels who are just bitter virgins who are ugly, undesirable, demanding and lazy

>>12182017
There are moments in which I distinctly feel like I am not human, this feeling is of impenetrable sadness, a hole opens in my mind and where there were once love and hate, sadness and joy, lust and pain, there is nothingness. But after an uncertain amount of time, I usually come to the conclusion that this feeling is due to my own ineptitude to fathom the magnitude of the absolute absurdity of human thought. My brain is collapsing in on itself and sometimes it can not provide the blanket for the thin, frail and skeletal body of my consciousness, which would surely be freezing to death were it not for the soothing warmth of ignorance that my subconsciousness so lovingly draped across it.

These moments, when I get a vision, a clear image of the subtle but crystallized pain of complete and perfect self realisation, of feeling, no, knowing that to the world, I am nothing but an earthworm, crawling under the burrow of a fat and lazy mole, barely escaping it's rodent teeth by mere chance and not by superior intellect, I feel defeated and I want to end my life then and there. But quickly there's a warmth again, a blanket cradled in the hands of a frail, skeleton like figure which shivers, then smiles as it slowly drifts into a calming and comforting sleep.

>>12184217
These kind of questions always make me fear for my own self image.
It's not like I would have a problem beinga psychopath but if I was, my entire life would have been a lie and I would have to slowly accept that maybe I am just that way.
It's interesting on the other hand because I will never know what being a normal human is like but then again, their lives suck even more than mine, at least I am self aware.

it is my birthday today. its 10:48pm. not one friend or acquaintance said happy birthday to me. tbf, unless they put an effort into memorising my birthday, they wouldnt have known and i didnt celebrate it with them. Anyway, it made me appreciate my family more.

>>12182123
This is a good read and very relatable even though I never had a kitten.
I felt the same way about my little brother.
They're so vulnerable, you could do so much harm to them and they'd never even know, just traumatizing them for their whole life. I don't know why and I am sure people would think I'm a monster because of this but I never actually did harm to him, it's just that the possibility is so feasible and real that it feels almost weird not to act on it.
It's strange and kinda insane.

>>12182017
Breathe in breathe out Breathe in breathe out Breathe in breathe out Breathe in breathe out Breathe in breathe out Breathe in breathe out Breathe in breathe out Breathe in breathe out

>>12184498
Yesterday was mine and it's just another day in the grinder.

>>12184498
Happy Birthday fellow Australian. As I got older, more and more of my friends forgot my birthdays too. It sucks.

>>12184519
i guess this is adulthood

I wait in my room here set flat in bed and resisting the sunrise. My belly flicks stone at itself for last nights beef slab plunge. My eyes are plastic aging noticeably but not dissolving. The sky lightens as a cheek who has been rescued from embarasment. A succulent on the windowsill beside a baby pumpkin and a coffee table book of Kirchner. Empty Dasani bottles and vitamin water stilt beside two poetry books, Rimbaud and Tennyson. The bed unmade the floor bulges with clot of clothes and other mess. If I could return to sleep like mole to dirt that would be very nice.

>>12182087
I believe that any cancer causing agents in tobacco are inorganic additives, and that natural smoke only causes cancer after prolonged, deep inhalation. And why are filters used at all? They do not make it "safer" at all, they only dilute the flavor of the tobacco and cut the nicotine

>>12184602
It's a PR thing. They went to war with the mattress industry too for not adding enough flame retardant too. Some of the shit the tobacco industry made up to not be responsible for more than cancer is hilarious
>The case of the baby burning to death because its mother put a candle in a baby's crib and that is the mattress maker's fault for not saying no candles or cigarettes in the crib
Thank You for Smoking is actually a very good book about how it doesn't matter to the company what the product does good or bad, just so long as it sells.

>>12182759
>changing my appearance will make me less of a boring cunt
I don’t think it works like that

>>12184602
Absolutely correct. Same for "light" cigarettes, they cause the smoke to be further aersolized where it goes deep into the lungs. The development of filters and light cigarettes have actually worsened oncological diagnoses.

https://academic.oup.com/jnci/article-abstract/109/12/djx075/3836090/Cigarette-Filter-Ventilation-and-its-Relationship

http://tobaccocontrol.bmj.com/content/11/suppl_1/i51

>>12182150
why are women still considered human

I'm in the worst depressive episode I've had in recent memory. I enjoy nothing. When things go wrong, I feel worse, but when they go right, I never feel better. I can barely even laugh at things anymore. I don't know why it's like this.

>>12182150
Cute

>>12184529
It's a fair trade-off considering I don't have any positive achievement to celebrate along with.

>tfw just dreamt I was back with my high school buddies
adulthood is a literal meme. literally my only goal anymore to find some new bros, weird neurotic ones like myself that will stick together forever. maybe even live together in a weird hippie commune.

>>12182150
I love that bait like this doesn't even bother to draw an actual conclusion, it just assumes retards will look at it at go
>LESS BRAIN CONNECT BAD ME HATE WOMEN

>>12184498
Happy Birthday cunt. May you live forever and more.

I've been getting bouts of vertigo
why the fuck am I so unhealthy

>>12182632
probably some philosophy would be easier to listen to than read

>>12184498
happy birthday anon :) we care about you

>>12182124
getting stabbed and bleeding

Why do women with boyfriends keep talking to me? Can this please stop?

>>12185316
I sometimes find it easier to talk to woman with a boyfriend. My expectations are none and i allow to just be myself around them.

Think i might be gay

>>12185886
i have a theory about this

>>12185930
For you, I have 20 minutes. Let's read it.

I need to stop being so angry. I like being angry, I like angry music, it's fun to be angry. But "anger is an acid that corrodes its container" as Twain said. Nobody likes angry men. Nobody like angry music, nobody thinks it's fun to be angry.

Also, i'm not really angry at anyone particular, I'm angry at patterns. Tendencies. Oppositions. Resistances. They are abstract, karmic forces, ki you might call it. It's a spiritual level. A righteousness perhaps. But it gets tiresome.

Nobody might like it but who does everybody turn to when things go wrong? Men who are like this. The ones everybody has misunderstood.

>>12185924
And that's okay! ;^)

>>12182303
What is there that god did not create? When you develop a game and your player base figures out some entertaining alternative way to play it it's still your creation. What you're doing is like getting romantic and saying "No dude, at that point the game surpassed its creator," which sounds great and is a lovely way to inhibit truth.

>I don't have a viewpoint on this. I'm trying to understand.
I mean, I didn't ask for a viewpoint that'll conclude the discussion, but one on a subaspect of it. You can't very well discuss philosophy when you have no opinion whatsoever. In case this needs to be explained: you have a viewpoint on what counts as logically sound deduction.

She goes on vacation tomorrow morning, but i'm seeing her today.
What should I do? Should I tell her I can't stop thinking about her? Should I ask her if she and him are still in a relationship? Should I tell her about my hand problem? About our age difference?
Fuck, I shouldn't have accepted that date.

>>12185956
>Nobody likes angry men
Nobody likes angry men because angry men can be the most dangerous thing in the world.
>Nobody like angry music
Plenty of people do. A lot of hip hop and rock is angry, two of the most popular genres of music. Case in point:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao-JRq-KcYQ

>nobody thinks it's fun to be angry.
Crazy people do. Battle-ready people do. People who feel righteous fury feel it. People who have been WRONGED may even have a right to anger

im having trouble deciding if I should cut the main villain from my novel.

the story is about an ignorant boy going on a journey around the world with an old chinese man and his heavily assimilated granddaughter, unaware the man is an exiled dissident. their journey takes them across the british colonies, where a string of minor villains make the boy more compassionate and the girl more resentful. the main villain is an agent keeping tabs on the old man, and depending on how I play it, he could either have the boy spy for him, or he can be cut out of the story completely.

the thing is, the story has fantasy elements, so mixing in the spy stuff could make for a cluttered narrative

>>12186005
Start by telling her how the last couple days you weren't treating her as you actually wanted to treat her; that's a line you can easily get across mid conversation, and from there your heart will do the rest
ガンバよ

I am physically insane. I need wet cotton panties and lesbians in my life.

The best and worst people are high IQ.

>>12185956
Anger is an energy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv0efmUKP9s

>>12186044
True but so is happiness, love, peacefulness, tenderness, simple calm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4Zey7o04Qk

>>12180716
I do know what I fear the most about myself, for sure. I didn't realize that could be what's holding me back towards others though.

>>12186028
Ok, seems reasonable. Not commitment, just be clear to what's been on my mind as of recently.
Thanks.

>>12186127
>Thanks.
You're welcome. As payment I'll take an explanation of "what I fear the most about myself" thanks (I'm invested now, don't leave me hanging)

I broke up with my girlfriend recently and I've feeling an urge to get on tinder and fuck new women, but at the same time I feel like that might be a very bad idea.

I don't know if I'm going towards happiness, or away from it
I only know I'm going very fast

>>12185107
stfu whore

I don't think about it very often but I have a myriad of health problems and its probably at least in part responsible for me being the way I am

my shell is shorn and my soul is bared
in this moment i think without filter
my warnings fell flat, my attempts at rescue were pointless
i wasted it all, lost it, abandoned it
now i can speak the truth
i wanna try sucking a dick

I'm sitting outside smoking my pipe with my dogs. People near me recently sold their land and now the great earth-moving machines are devastating the forest and field. I can see them through the trees. Toiling. Destroying. The roaring cacophony of annihilation.

It physically hurts me to witness this. All so more developments that yuppies will live in can exist.

>>12187209
You know what to do

>>12183019

>>12185886
I thrive in the ambiguity of not knowing honestly. I feel more confident and able to show off myself more successfully. My expectations in the previously mentioned situation are none but once the information of them being in a relationship is out there, I get annoyed.

>>12186127
On second thought I have a more pressing question
Were you a bully in elementary school?

>>12187474
whoops

I think I have finally accepted that I completely screwed up my life and will never be able to live a good one. I want to kill myself, but the pain I would leave behind keeps me from doing it. How do I get the people that "care" about me to realize that if they truly cared about me, they would let me kill myself rather than try to convince me living a mediocre life is worth it. In before "it always gets better". It might, but it won't be my version of better.

It'd be rather neat to be chums with some hard English mad-lads involved in organized crime back in the day. I respect someone with a code of honor and a willingness to make their own way against the odds.

Of course organized crime is strangely ethnocentric so i'm not sure how it work out. Many working class boys with half a brain used to end up in organized crime. It was the best way to make money and in some warped sense feel like you were doing meaningful work, protecting your community and providing for your family.

>>12187778
>Many working class boys with half a brain used to end up in organized crime
And they still do. You just never hear about it unless something went wrong. The perfect criminal is one who is never known as a criminal.

i think i am manic depressive/bipolar but my manic episodes seem to only last for a day or two at a time, and the normal diagnosis states up several days/weeks/months at a time, so i don't know what to make of this. very weird. seeing psychiatrist next month because my normal doctor doesn't know what to make of my symptoms and none of the antidepressants i've tried have worked properly.
on the upside, i feel very good about life at the moment and i am planning on focusing on reading as many books as i can and enjoying life as much as i can. starting school in january for comp sci and i'm looking forward to a career in game dev as well as (eventually, once i practice for a few years) writing novels and short stories under a pseudonym. i want to be great one day. i'm not there yet, but i'm trying my best and that's all that one can do

Just wrote two paragraphs of smut for someone, one about a princess teasing a village girls cock with her feet, the other about a cuckquean. I have the feeling that I hate writing.

Hate how I am on edge constantly, how I want to beat up everyone who looks into my eyes and how I want to fuck almost every woman that crosses my path.

>>12187778
unfortunately real life is not like your favorite drama show

>>12184498
Happy birthday anon!

>>12187847
>a princess teasing a village girl’s cock
>a village girl’s cock
>girl’s cock
Huh?

>>12187926
Welcome to the future grandpa

Oh boy I haven't posted about depression yet!
Alright here it goes
I'm in bed as usual, barely left for the bathroom a few times during the day. Empty coffee cups are gathered on my bedside table. My book is untouched. I'm sweating under the blankets and there's a tightness in my chest, that familiar unease that accompanies me throughout the weeks, months, years. It's always there. It got to my head, too, pulsing and aching. It's a discomfort that never changes shape nor state. It's a crawling in my marrow, a parasite devouring me from within, laying eggs that contain nothing and will erupt into nothing, a void, a vacuum that day by day makes me implode. And so my mind collapses, ever emptier yet tangled with disaster, an unbearable fullness that I know no release from. I only know it's coming with a crack, a definitive shatter that will flatten these ruins. The dust will slowly settle and I will have finally gone mad, mad forever.

>>12184205
>>12182087
that poster is right -- cigarettes are terrible for you. nicotine is the only nootropic in there, although tobacco does have some other more subtle psychoactive properties. nicotine's only about as addictive as coffee, i find it incredibly easy to quit vaping for periods of time as opposed to when i had to quit smoking.

there's absolutely no evidence that nicotine by itself causes cancer -- cigarettes, on the other hand, absolutely do. if you want the stimulation and mental benefits of a cigarette, it's really just smarter to start vaping.

>>12182192
Women crave attention, and the easiest way to achieve it is with injury. Mental problems are convenient for this, since they're longer lasting than physical, so they don't have to keep hurting themselves, and being non-physical, are easy to feign.

>>12187940
Wew, maybe stop drinking so much coffee. Sounds like your depression is mostly caffeine poisoning.

>>12187940
u need adderall

>>12187947
I only drink one cup a day but I haven't cleaned up in a while

>>12187940
man up

>>12187926
It's just smut, it doesn't have to fully make sense. She looks like a girl, thinks she is a girl and happens to have a dick. Maybe she is a herm?

Running into a slump from my English professor being overcritical of my and the class' writings, and has a record of making students cry. He reminds me of my father in that he is narcissistic, controlling, and seeks affirmation from anyone with a pulse. Maybe it's a different shade of muse.

>>12187964
I just can't. I tried so much. The medicines don't work at all so I just get worse all the time. I've been bedridden only in the last three weeks or so. I skip meals.

>>12187990
Lying in bed all day makes it worse. Force yourself to walk around the block once or twice.

>>12187998
I managed to go outside a few times this week, but it's an insane amount of effort. Also it's been raining most of the time which makes me even more depressed

>>12187954
I take a lot of meds already, they don't do anything

I want to write a short story but I feel like it's gonna be ridiculed

>>12188047
Go read some contemporary literature journals, you'll feel better.

>>12188047
Just write it for yourself then. Afterwards, if you like it enough then you can rewrite a few times until its not ridiculous anymore.

>>12186127

>>12179920
No wonder she gave you "the look", you corrected a grammatically correct sentence, you dolt. Apologize to her.

>>12187940
Just fall in love with your depression, so it can leave you like everyone else you love.

>>12188217
holy fuck

>>12182124
Not really if you examine it is soley reliant upon epidemiological evidence, much of which is extremely poor and doesn't adjust for lifestyle factors, obesity, workplace hazards, etc and often participants self select (i.e. non randomized).

just took a massive bloody shit

>>12188217
whoah

>>12187945
lol you think sucking hot vapor into your lungs is somehow not bad for you?

Is there anything similar to these three stories?

>>12188283
Not that Anon and not a smoker but I'm pretty sure that vaping is only a fraction as harmful as cigarettes

i've passed the point of being happy drunk to wanting to murder every human who crosses my path

>>12182017
He gives her the breath of life, she gives him hope.

I saw Xi Jinping at a grocery store in Zhongnanhai yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

>>12188421
>Xi Jinping
he's in Portugal now

>>12182123
I was with you until the not feeding it part
I've had the "this thing/being is so fragile I could break it just like that" moment and had the thought "wait, could I? would I? what would happen?", and I think that's actually fairly common, but usually people don't admit to it and/or nip it in the bud once they get to "this thing is so fragile" because they don't want to be uncomfortable with themselves
I will say for me it's more of a mild anxiety than anything else
it's the same feeling you get when you're at the top of a high place and you realize you could just step off at any moment and you start thinking about it a lot

>>12182183
what they usually mean is "don't worry about it and just go with the flow", and given your analysis I'm almost certain that's what they meant saying it to you
that's not to say they're right, just that that's what it often means
the other most common meaning is "don't pretend to be someone you're not", which I would say is usually good advice, but I would tweak it a bit and say you should act like a better version of the person you are, and/or act like the person you want to be
it's extremely anecdotal but I decided when I was younger (early teens I think) that I wanted to be a kinder person because I really looked up to and appreciated nice people, so I started trying to act kinder, and now my thoughts naturally sway kinder

>>12182017
The bubbles of bliss look too much like tar, for my tastes.

I feel like happiness--just moments in which I feel good, not true otherworldly fulfillment--is something I am being completely denied. It just feels like all the joy that could have ever been in me has gotten up and walked away. I've felt like this for two weeks now. I don't think I'm in a "low" anymore; I think it's something more permanent.

>>12182754
I'm so glad I escaped going full oneitis on my latest, strongest, and possibly only crush
like I started imagining the future and things but every time I did that I'd go "wait, hold on, it might all fall apart" so it was as bad when I found out she had a boyfriend and was a lot younger than I am, and I was pretty much over it after a few weeks

>>12182799
you don't know how much I want that chance, except without the boring shit of reciting facts and figures and the pain of dealing with idiots that just won't get things into their heads
even then I'd deal with those things if it wasn't for the fact that teaching pays dick and requires almost medical doctor levels of education and training

>>12187940
beautiful piece of description
>>12188217
beautiful bit of black, cutting logic

Ive been single for too long. And not to flatter myself but I'm often asked why, which is a rude and frustrating thing to say so if grandma says it again this Christmas she's getting the backhand. I like dick grandma and I know you're not reading this!

Lol. Anyway. About being single. What is the universal experience of this sensation? It is a shared human experience in all cultures. It is commonly seen as a negative state, carrying even a note of stigma. That is certainly unfounded on a rational basis but there are always primal reasons people do shit over and above ideology.

I don't just want to blog about myself. I want to get at the underlying problem with human experience. My own case happens to be the one of which I am the most knowledgable, so some introspection is appropriate.

Why have I always been single? The common reasons don't apply to me. I'm not ugly, I'm not stupid or an underachiever. I am a little aspy but I am able to get anything done. Many young men in this generation are ignorant and timid, and are easily overwhelmed. Sapiosexualism isn't very common it seems, with goofy crazy-sexy-cute winning all the attention. Granted I don't put myself out there and am a bit shy. I'm also loco but not in a way that could reasonably be construed as detrimental to a relationship. I'm not abusive or cruel or emotionally undermining to my partners.

Is everyone single single like I am? No, there are many reasons for imposed solitude. Not all of them are culpable or blamable and to be seen as a mark against one's status or acceptability as a human being. That doesn't stop people from thinking that way, but some people are weak.

inb4 killl urself fgt. Why don't you and I both see who races to that finish line? Fascists are known for killing themselves in statistically large numbers too ;)

the things that keep coming to mind are that I'm kind of a failure of a human being-- I know that I'm not, but the feeling comes up anyway-- and that society is not working right
the former is because I got into a car accident recently and because I can't find a girlfriend (unrelated things that both reinforce that feeling)
the latter is, well honestly mostly also because I can't find a girlfriend-- no one ever made me go interact with other people, and what's more the encouragement I got on that front was mostly focused on things like sports and summer camps (I got sent to a summer camp once, hated the idea, liked it once I got used to it) and this idea I should "get [my] nose out of that damn computer", and a lot of the time there really was nowhere in particular I was told I should go, just "outside"-- I love being outside, but that's not the same as going and talking to people
I might as well add this:
people toss around this state-assigned girlfriend thing and it's a joke (at least I hope it is) and I wouldn't say it's a good idea, but I really do think there should be some sort of program in schools for kids that have difficulty making friends that puts them together with each other and other kids that volunteered to be in it and have lots of friends and just gives them space and time and a good setting to get to know and respect each other
because it's not just girlfriends, I had and still have difficulty making friends, and keeping friends, and telling who even is my friend-- I've had lots of occasions where I said "oh well I'm not really friends with so-and-so" and they were taken aback, because I didn't consider us friends because I didn't know them that well and I never told them some of the really intimate stuff I tell my actual friends-- but they didn't see friendship that way
I'm rambling now and there's a lot more I could say (why the fuck does it seem like every single woman is taken, loose, super-religious, lesbian, trans, covered in tattoos, too old, too young, or some other thing?) so let's just cut it there

>>12185287

I've been going through a drawing book because I want to learn how to paint it turns out you really should be able to draw someone competently before you do that. The exercise I just did was to draw my hand looking towards the finger tips. I think it turned out quiet well (though it looks pretty fucking weird because of the perspective). Unfortunately my hand cramped up and spasmed before I could add all the details I wanted, and I can't get it back into the same position.

Also if you're someone who just can't draw , there is hope! I've managed to advance from "retarded third grader" to "unmotivated middle school student". It turns out drawing isn't that complicated, it's just that no one bothers teaching you how to do it properly. It sounds fucking obvious now but I've benefited a lot just from meme-sounding advice like "draw how things look, not how you think you they should look".

>>12182935
Honestly I'm just LARPing, I've read a single essay that was only about him, not even written by him (which I'd link but it doesn't exist online as far as I know, I'm planning on submitting it to the anarchist library eventually), but he seemed like a pretty brilliant guy with a strong vision for how institutions like universities and artists guilds could operate in a libertarian society. I plan on reading some his work over the christmas holiday.

>>12182785
because I was delusional the whole time and drastically overestimated our relationship

>>12182892
That sounds sensible. For the moment though, I think I should be alone. I need to be in the right mindset or else this will probably happen all over again if I start getting involved with girls.

>>12183402
I didn't ask her out (there was no hope at that point, believe me, even if she said yes miraculously it still would have been a disaster), but I did tell her how I felt and that I couldn't really be around her anymore. It has helped, but the feels are still there.

I'm not depressed, I just need a girlfriend. But, on the rare occasions where I might have a chance at getting one, I shut down and blow those opportunities. Hence, still a virgin. Maybe if I read enough Houellebecq I'll be motivated to just fucking man up, lest my virginity be eternal.

I'm going back to work soon. Third shift. I hated it. No mental stimulation and a Sisyphean task that ground me down in a month. It was easy, but I think I had some delusions of grandeur and eben romanticised other jobs. All jobs are the same thing every day, right? 99% are an endless grind with no real meaning.

I guess it also didn't help that I thought I'd be stuck there forever for some reason. Like I was just dreading it constantly. I didn't have any hobbies other than reading or browsing the Internet which changed when I was able to afford them. Running out of money now, though. Let's see if I can hack it for more than a month. I won't be there forever.

I don't know what's real. From one moment to the next, I'm living like I don't know something then I live like I know it and then counteract that idea with another idea ad infinitum. I create poems about cutting, constantly, I listen to music and isolate myself constantly, I have next to no friends where I don't know which ones actually matter and the ones that matter don't seem to matter so I have no problem with letting them go but the ones that I want to matter end up not mattering because they know I don't care if they matter and I tell them in the grand idea they don't matter. So they let me go, and I let them go after that. I just recently admitted that the label of "best friend" doesn't matter anymore. It's just not important. A friend is a friend of varying degrees comparable to one another, there is no best. I just finished Doki Doki Literature Club, where I practically watched a friend hang herself, even though I knew it was going to happen and I saw it coming, when I actually saw it, it sent ASMR shards of glass shooting though my body so that I couldn't deny that I was affected. I was afraid. I was affected. I was afraid. I love making poems about cutting, after I came to this poem in Doki Doki Literature Club, where it was complete random gibberish, and I tried to translate it onto my computer using a keyboard, while looking at the poem and finding what I interpreted a random scribbling as a "word". It was very existential and it was scary at times, but it hardened me and I felt like I was just alone. The whole time. I didn't feel connected, because I didn't agree with the protagonist, Monika was dead to me the second that she didn't give me a chance to answer "no" to "will you go out with me". It was a total mindfuck and I sat through a 7 hour session finishing the whole thing straight through.

>Here's a taste.

The Answer
be a dead star truthfully seeing all knowing seeing hate AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
you all saw the truth. today be one with yourself. oh, you didn't all see it? so sorry.
start to return.
a stupid answer. you lose. I see you. that's the truth. All seeing stupidity. All of you lose.
This is the truth. I am here. I see into infinity. I see and I know. I see and I know. I lose. You lose.
Take all. Tell Us truth.
How can I tell us truth if i'm the center?
Let someone kill you.
Tell us trust the center.
Stupid truth. Oh, you are the highest? What if I go the opposite way? You, girl, hate the truth.
random. Choose random. The answers you seek are seen in the entertainment of killing.
Find the end girl. Find your mental peak. And face the end. Unless, of course, you want to have sex
before you die. You know it can be painful. But you never know unless... So sorry. The truth ends. truly.
So, fucking hate the answer. truthfully. truly. Truth. randomly end under no reservations. exit peacefully.
Your evil has been released. Your evil is off.
Close the poem.

I am just getting into writing. During school, I despised reading and would do what every lazy high school student did, use Sparknotes. College is when I began to get an itch for reading literature. I started with Catch-22, then onto The Trial, Lolita, Slaughterhouse V, Cats Cradle, Catcher in the Rye, and my personal favorite, The Brothers Karamazov, among others.

I only visit this board infrequently, but I know this seems like a light summer reading list to some. It was my desire to read literature first, and these seemed the most accessible. I am very open to suggestions.

Now, I have moved onto poetry and writing. Rimbaud is my starting point for poetry because my musical idols thought he was great. So far, I love it. There is an emotional impact to poetry that is direct. Writing has not been so easy for me. I expected that. All I can do to improve is just keep writing, but I can help but think that squandering the efforts of my English teachers means that I will never write anything of worth.

Once again, any input is much appreciated

I've lost interest in ever trying to have sex again. I masturbate with the same mentality with which one shits or pisses- just the performance of an inconvenient bodily function. I'm not a misogynist or anything like that. Sex just does not seem worth the herculean effort to convince a woman to have it with you nor the inevitable misunderstanding that results when the act is completed. It may be because so much of my life up until I was about 25 was consumed by feeling this strong urge to have sex at nearly any cost (never went so far as direct monetary cost) and anxiety over not having enough of it (despite the fact that I'd had several partners) that this revelation of the inherent evanescence and meaninglessness of sex seems so cataclysmic.

>>12184049
Cringe but redpilled

>>12185092
I feel like anyone who doesn’t have a meme job is like that these days.

>>12184049
I hired a hooker yesterday and now I feel awful.

>>12182370
Care to elaborate?

My little black book appears to be missing. The ancient book, the secret book. That which has traveled with me. I have sent my minions to retrieve it but they have failed me again and again. Banish them to ash.

Nothing is particularly important about this black book, except that I have wrote it, and only I understand its secrets. If I left it at my mom's house that means it isn't in my possession now. If some malevolent spirit so thinks itself audacious enough to steal my secrets know that I understand and possess its essence. In other words don't fuck with me.

>>12185287
stay the knife put

>>12185886
hmmm no pressure to appeal to the owned? seems there are two camps in this specific instance, one of dissatisfaction which leads to attempts at dissuasion, the other of relief which leads to acceptance and authenticity in reception of the person.

if you've already the identity of a man, and know it, and accept it, you meet on even ground. unless you yourself roam faceless.

>>12189065
What secrets doeth this black both contain you wonder? What dark horrors? Let me offer you up just a tiny bit.

Honestly nothing special,but as a kid I thought it would be cool to have this one leather bound book I could pretend was my spell book. I always thought it was cute and had sentimental value. My grandmother always taught me to value family heirlooms, and I think that's something any family should teach its children if they are so fortunate to possess any.

However I also wrote many useful to remember things in this journal over the years and it would be a shame to have lost it. I normally keep it in the same place but have been moving around so much lately.

>>12188306
yes it is probably less harmful, but we have no long-term evidence or studies to show how much less harmful so that's not saying much. there's no basis for saying it's only a tiny fraction as bad. but with all the zoomers in middle and high school on JUULs I guess we have enough guinea pigs trying to figure that out for us eventually

>>12182087
When you posted this last night my curiosity was piqued and I spent a few hours researching. It should be noted that the study you are referencing is from 2001, and was funded by the Lorillard Tobacco Company who were at the time in a legal battle against state smoking restrictions. I'm not saying any of this makes it false, but it is something to keep in mind. There's also the fact that several of the experiments referenced in that study were never published, peer-reviewed, or reproduced, for example: "An unpublished study (18) used the tracheostomy technique to .."

You should also know that Doctor William Whitby who wrote "Smoking is good for you" was secretly promoted by the tobacco industry:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14645942
> Privately the tobacco industry regarded him as "nutty", while nonetheless believing that his views should be promoted. They quietly supported him by distributing his book, offering legal advice, and persuading him to take media training.

When I looked up the opposing side I found what appears to be insurmountable wall of evidence. The 2014 Surgeon General's Report to start: https://www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/reports/50-years-of-progress/exec-summary.pdf

I don't know how you can argue with this. The combined number of studies and raw man-hours that went into that document alone is overwhelming. If you're wondering where to start try section 2 of the executive summary: "The Health Consequences of Active and Passive Smoking: The Evidence in 2014"

Mind you this is coming from someone who thinks global warming is a fraud and that vaccines are for the most part a waste of money if not outright harmful.

I think it may be that you work for a tobacco company.

>>12182035
There always seem to be the most bizarre people in these kinds of threads, but I really enjoy them anyways so not sure what that says about me

>>12189142
The same argument could be just as easily made for the reverse, that funding from the American Lung Association would be biased against smoking. Interesting to note, looking at studies that emerged from Japan in the 90s and 2000s, not funded by these groups, now known to the west as the Japanese Smokers Paradox, showed drastically lower associations with cancer.
>You should also know that Doctor William Whitby who wrote "Smoking is good for you" was secretly promoted by the tobacco industry:
After the fact. He still lays out a fairly good case for laymen to be skeptical of the anti-smoking science.
Read them for yourself:

http://wispofsmoke.net/PDFs/Whitby.pdf

https://www.scribd.com/document/44685607/Smoking-is-Good-for-You-William-T-Whitby

>When I looked up the opposing side I found what appears to be insurmountable wall of evidence
A mountain of non-randomized epidemiological studies, which failed to adjust for occupational hazards, income, lifestyle habits and so on.
>I think it may be that you work for a tobacco company.
I do not. I am a physician who smokes cigarettes.

>>12188217
yeah all right

>>12188889
tryna cut the porn outa my life brah

>>12189017
I know exactly how you feel. Similar thing happened to me a few years ago, but it was my second brothel visit rather than an outcall. I can't stress enough how important it is to do your homework before hand and make sure you go someplace reputable.

>>12189170
Damn, thank you for sharing. Smoking has always appealed to me but the fear of lung cancer kept me away. Looks like I have some more reading to do.

>>12189084
>>12189065
HAHAHAHAHA

I'm going to burn my copies of Kafka, just like he wanted.

>we live in a society

Despite being a meme it summarizes my thoughts, feelings and struggles entirely.

I feel like I want to write and have something to say but I don't know what do I have to say (even if I want to say it) nor how to write.

Every time I want to say something I just crash my brain because I cannot think why wouldn't I just refer to someone who said it better.

>>12189583
Just write about your day. Write down your thoughts about an issue. Writing is like a stream, once it runs it keeps going and something good might come along, just don't try to force it.

if you really, REALLY want to hurt someone you have to earn their trust first.
your best friend or anyone very close to you might have the power to ruin your life overnight and you have no real objective idea of what their real intentions are.

>>12189597
What the fuck is your problem?

>>12182017
>Write what's on your mind.

>Boss?!..gibe da pussy, BOSS, please boss!

Dank memes all day nigguh.

>>12189595
I don't want to write about my day. Everything I want to write about has been said better by better authors than me.

>>12189709
God bless black people and god bless 4channel.org

>>12189098
what i've observed is that addiction builds much more rapidly with vaping, especially juuls with their 5% nicotine. there's no lasting smell, no incentive to go outside every time, and it's easier on your throat -- this leads to constant chain-vaping.

>>12182017
I unironically hate niggers

WHY CANT I HAVE A GENUINE INTEREST IN ANYONE OR ANYTHING AHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY AM I SO MEDIOCRE AT ANYTHING I ATTEMPT

>>12189857
low IQ.

>>12189866
Defintely a factor

>>12182123
Anon this upset my very much, you shouldn't have bad thoughts about your kitten only pure and loveful throughts

>>12182759
>wear shorts that are at least 5 inches above the knee
Disgusting

>>12187209
do it

>>12189882
t. Thighlet

Man I'm thinking some really messed up shit right now, like if people could read my thoughts they'd probably run away screaming. Some people underestimate what I'm capable of, they just don't know. Then again, they underestimate just how patient I am. Sometimes I think I could really save humanity, other times I think I just might show them the dark grim truth that they're weak, the bottom of the food chain, how easily they can be destroyed. But I think it's better they find out for themselves, humans out there killing themselves off instead of helping one another...while I sit behind a rainy window looking on with a knowing smile...I warned them. But they're just too vain to listen. And so I whet my sword and dagger in wait for them to come to me in revenge, revenge on their once-friend who they turned their backs on, their prophet, their stoic... oh I'll be waiting. Blades don't need reloading.

>>12189866
>>12189872
*blocks your path*

>>12189910
He has low IQ too. He hasn't done anything resembling of having high IQ. even if he had high IQ it wouldn't matter. For all intents and purposes, he could have 40 IQ and odne the same.

>>12189914
Then your original point does not stand.

She was a whore. And yet I could not fault her. She had lied. And yet I never anticipated the truth. She had betrayed me. And yet that betrayal felt justified.

The sickness In it all was how I blamed myself. Like a lung cancer patient mad at the tumor for existing, not acknowledging the packs of cigarettes that brought him here. You saw the signs and ignored them with such bliss

Pretending you could start a life.Thinking this patchwork of emotional turmoil would correct itself with time. The foolishness of it all!

Now as you pick up the shattered remains of the five years spent in contempt and captivity you begin to know the true meaning of freedom

The sun dawns on a new day.

>>12189919
I don't have original points, I have 70 IQ and I move goalposts all the time because I lose every argument because I'm stupid as fuck shit.

>>12182017
i wish i wasnt a faggot and i wish i was better with women romantically.

>>12189929
based and redpilled

I want to write a dark satire about incels named A Hundred Angry Virgins.

>>12189882
>he doesn't show off his legs

>>12182017
I'm trying to think of a deeply stupid picture to start the next thread with

>>12190470
tuxedo pepe is so stupid he's smart

>>12182017
I had facial surgery last year to fix my fucked up teeth.
I can beath through my nose now and my gums are healthier, I guess I look slightly better too, but the teeth are still not perfect, I also have some TMJ pains now that I hope I can fix soon.
Sometimes I think God or some other thing punished me for my vanity. I'll just leave things as they are.

I liked Blood Meridian.

What else should I read?

undercuts look awful unless you do something weird with it like only have one side cut and grow out the other. then you still look awful except in a edgy, punk way.

I want to kill this vile old bitch I work with

This Pip guy's really starting to piss me off. I fantasize about Magwatch strangling him for being a shithead ingrate, then cucking him with Estella over his lifeless corpse.

>"hey /lit/, i think this girl is flirting with me despite having a bf. what do?"
>"she wants you to help her transition from him to you."
>"ha, what does /lit/ know about girls anyways keks lul"
>tfw /lit/ was right all along

Yesterday definitely met a breakpoint.
We tried to get into the VR room that the campus has to try it, but we saw that other people occupied it. We dropped that idea. We had lunch for the 4th day in a row. This time nothing expensive, just cafeteria food. I felt talkative this time around; I talked about my college career, my ups and downs, and certain experiences she could learn from.
I had to go to an end of the year party for the rest of the day, so just as we finish eating I should have said goodbye to her. I lend her a book, as she previously requested, and walked towards the auditorium.

I was about to say goodbye, but just when I got near the waiting line she said:
"Are you embarrassed that your co-workers see you with a 21yo?" said playfully.
That did it. I stopped mid-walk and said "follow me for a sec, we need to talk."
I remembered what anon said, just talk about how you felt this couple of days. About what I thought about her that i haven't said to her.
She got hella nervous. I was trying to guide her behind a school building but she couldn't keep walking beside me, started to tremble and her gaze couldn't met my eyes.
"I don't want to talk about it."
She already knew what I was implying, i guessed. I started to get nervous too. She was so self-conscious, I couldn't talk but laugh nervously. Moreover, she kept repeating she didn't want to talk about what she was thinking.
I took her hand and held it with both of mine, very awkwardly mind you. I tried to corner her into talking until she finally agreed to answer at least one question.
I said I have purposely treated her like a friend, maybe even a こうはい all this time because even if I she tried to unconsciously flirt with me, I promise to myself not to get any hopes up because I knew she had a boyfriend. And after saying that i decided my question
"Are you and Anonさん still together?"
She said she was, and surprise, surprise... she’s been fighting with him lately. She told me how she treated her and bla bla bla. Many things he has done.
After the back and forth I said that I admire her; she has excellent grades, she is in a social group (dunno how they are called in America), and she pays most of her college. I was very proud for her.
I said that I liked how we have had lunch, how we talked and I would like to keep doing it. I offered her to stay her friend until she sorts everything with his bf.

>>12187474
No, I wasn't.

Damn son italo disco rocks

I think this semi-cute girl that works where I take German classes is trying to flirt with me but maybe she's just being sociable. She starts conversations and asks about me about myself, how i've been, what do I do, how do I feel about x. But maybe she asks that about everyone. It feels like there's a certain tension, things unsaid and unrealized, when we speak but that might just be me and what I want to see. Navigating the social realm is a nightmare. I just want to stay at home and look at my dog skip around and roll in the grass .

>>12191036
>doubting me for even a second
Rookie mistake

Anyway, good luck with things from here, you're on open waters now. Remember to smile

>>12191161
>But maybe she asks that about everyone.
Casual flirting is normal man, go along with it. People don't immediately put others into black and white boxes of "this person I want to date, this one I don't." You'll know she did if she stops starting conversations herself.

>>12191207
I do. And I'm not particularly interested in dating her either. But I'm wrecked by not being able to infer what are her intentions and purpose with doing this. Is it just flirting for flirting sake's, in that I am attractive enough for it to be a feasible mode of interaction for her, as passtime, and nothing else? Is it really flirting or just my neuroticism and fear of others projecting all kinds of assumptions into what are otherwise simple actions perceived clearly by people who don't have wet, distented brains like mine.
It's not that I would feel dejected by discovering that she, in fact, was never flirting with me. Every act in the social sphere sends two, three, four conflicting signals to my brain and I can't ever make sense of anything.

For all of the dumb memes surrounding Stirner, pursuing goals that satisfy your ego is not only rational but entirely healthy once you realize that most political/social/cultural movements and organizations demand sacrifice from the rank and file not so that a common goal may be achieved, but so that the managers of said groups can skim donations and achieve personal ambitions through the hard work of others.

On a related note, realizing and then accepting that I can change very little in the world is probably the healthiest thing I've done for myself as an adult.

Shoulder length hair and fat asses, sprinkled with self-conscious busts and unresolved traumas. Likely bi-sexual or willing...we take turns calling each other Mommy and Daddy but only in the bedroom.

>>12191274
I don't think you understood my point: Flirting =/= viewing you as desired partner. She's flirting with you, and she doesn't (necessarily) mean anything by it. There's nothing to over-think here. Just because you acknowledge her behavior as flirty doesn't mean you have to expect her to say yes to a sudden request for a date or whatever. There isn't some magical line where acting affable becomes flirty. It's not a state that's either switched on or off.
The reason't other people don't struggle with this isn't because they can somehow correctly judge others' intentions while you can't, but because they don't worry about raising their expectations to an adequate degree. Be optimistic as you go along with her, be accepting if she stops going along with you.

>Meet someone from Utah
"So are you some kind of Mormon or something?"

What observable difference would there be between a world with free will and a world without it?

I have no friends or social life and live vicariously through people I listen to, either them being colleagues at my internship or livestreamers. I fell in love with one of those colleagues and I doubt she's into me, honestly the most beautiful woman I've seen in my entire life. I can't engage in regular conversation without my negative mindset fucking the mood entirely, so I don't bother talking with her all that much.

>tfw people trying to ban racism convinced that it's a systemic issue in society and a cult of pure hatred are too stupid to understand that they are repeating the same totalitarian mindset of the 20th century which they hate for causing en masse dehumanization and violence to begin with

People are starting to use ideology to justify censorship, violence, and a sense of superiority over the ontological other in the most ironic way possible. They're not even aware of the passion they have behind their "tolerant" and egalitarian ideology blinding them to self awareness to the extent that they're repeating the worst behavior of their ideological opponents.

How many more generations of this autism am I supposed to suffer? Is tribalism really just so central to our behavior that it's totally inescapable? Was Carl Schmitt right all along?

>>12191439
Stop being so codependent and learn imdividual self contentness desu

>>12182017
My life is just me whining over and over until I get what I want and then death, I guess. Oh and also, when I actually get what I want, happiness lasts briefly, and I'll soon want something else. Same old thing every human being eventually notices. Is desire really a bad thing? My will to possess made a lot of stuff happen in the last few years. Lots of adventures.

>>12191459
>there's literally no difference between good and bad things. you imbecile, you fucking moron

>>12191336
I'm not sure I did either. Should I do away with the notion that flirting necessarily means anything at all?

>>12191500
How a conversation with ideologues goes
>Yeah sure I'm beating and imprisoning my ideological enemies
>But they're evil so they have it coming anyways
>What do you mean *I'm* evil for beating these people up? They're not even people they're just evil
>No it doesn't bother me that I have the same moral standards as my enemy
>They're evil but I'm good, that's the difference

On and on for till the end of time. Its the same old excuses as ever leading to the same old products of conflict.

>>12191535
Congratulations! You've discovered literally _any_ ideology is enforced with violence, even the current liberal status quo! Take this knowledge and realize that defining feature of an ideology is primarily who violence is directed towards.

>>12191528
Congratulations anon, you have put your first foot into chaddom. The next step is not only getting carried along by others' flirting without thinking anything of it, but also initiating it yourself without thinking anything of it.

>>12191549
>No it doesn't bother me that I have the same moral standards of my enemies
>They're evil
Like I said, ideologues don't care about people they care about their ideology. This conversation could go on for hours and go nowhere because ultimately they don't care about dehumanization

I asked her out and she said yes. Probably feel the happiest I have in years right now.

Do we make good just to get some control over something ?

I've heard that there's a lake in New Jersey with an abandoned town underneath it. Within it, I suppose. It has roads and homes, a school and even a graveyard. It also has trees. The tree branches must be what trap divers under the water. Bodies floating in the trees.

I'm very fond of this blue mug of mine. Owning it has not depreciated it at all. I wish I could feel this way about several more things I own and that would be enough.

>>12188665
>>12188697
You seem like a decent person anon, but truth is you really need a good social life to meet girls and gf them. It's not about anything else. There's someone for everyone, and if you got this social life you're not that hung up on the gf thing, don't overthink it, leading to more attractiveness. You'll find one eventually (if you're not one of those cliche 4channeler who never go out of their homes). But you already know all of that. Godspeed my friend

>>12191690
Congratulations. I don't have the courage or will to do that. I'm too proud.

>>12187847
Post it.

I'm high on php. How could anyone think computer science is boring?

>>12191459
>People are starting to use ideology to justify censorship, violence, and a sense of superiority over the ontological other in the most ironic way possible
Yes, but they won't for much longer. The world needs a serious economic recession. People will immediately forget and cease caring about everything those ideologues have to say, and will turn to economic revolutionaries, socioeconomic platforms, and larger questions about how to build a new world with more advanced sustainable practices and technologies.

Historically recessions provide a shock stimulus to a culture, forcing it to get its act together. And because the world economy never fully recovered from the events of 2008, the economy is in a wounded state and these issues could surface violently or hopefully diplomatically and politically.