What is the solution?

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What is the solution? Anonymous Fri Nov 16 15:55:56 2018 No.12091532 [Reply] [Original]

I'm lying in bed at the end of a day spent doing not much. It's 8.34 pm. I simply have no fucking motivation to do anything productive. I imagine myself getting out of bed and learning something or doing something but there is some mental barrier between myself and the action. And any attempt to create rules or goals for myself feels like the most pathetic thing in the world and an admission of deep failure as a person. I'm not even joking.

I thought about setting goals like, "Do X by this date" but it just means I'll do sub par work and not follow my curiosity. I thought about a goal like, "Start doing something productive 100 things by the end of this year", to try and build a habit. But even using the word habit feels like a denial of free will. Of course, I see that my future self is not like my current or past self. I see my past self as an automaton who never truly grasped the present moment. Even when I was young and doing well in school I was simply doing the tasks put in front of me.

I've recently had multiple interview invites and I will likely be trapped in a respectable office job that I couldn't reasonably quit, within 6 months.

I used to have this recurring dream where I would punch something and my hands were somehow slowed down as they got closer to the thing, by some invisible force. I don't do producerbull activities because I worry that I'm fundamentally ineffective (non-effective is maybe be a better term).

I read books yet I forget everything and it sums things up. What is the point?

The Silicon Valley superhuman autists start companies at the drops of hats. To me, an entrepreneur is someone who does something before he knows how to do it, making something extremely obvious that nobody else predicted. Evern midwit BBC presenters have written multiple books. Even no mark, vacuous politicians went to Oxbridge to McKinsey / law, before networking in to politics.

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