/lit/ - Literature

>>12042869
*liberry

But the ice skatesing liberry open soon :)

>>12042869
>someone let kant out of the manlet pit again

>The university library mime keeps silently mocking my book choices

>>12042869
please stop calling the special needs class 'the petting zoo'

>influential and relevant literary oversight committee agent asks about my interest in Jünger

>>12043398

>>12042889
are there any good books about ice skating?

>library sex slave friendzoned me

>library goblins stole all my gold coins again

>>12043431
That's what you get for reading Stirner in public you fucking pinko

>>12043431
why are you carrying gold coins?

>>12043451
Because I'm not a FIAT sheeple like you

>library incel is crying again
someone shut this dude up ffs

>don quijote replaced with the shining standing next to infinite jest

> go to liberry cafeteria
> they out of mustard cups and hot ham water

>>12043416
I don't know why this bladerunner 2049 reaction pic is popping up more frequently but I like it

>my gf failed the p-zombie test and is now part of the ethical exhibition

>the library toilet ghost clogged up the drain and caused the indigenous erotic fiction section to flood

> liberry showers clogged with toilet paper again

>>12042869
you can pet me anon :3

>>12043391
kek

>>12043365
maybe stop reading faggy shit then anon

>>12043451
(((why))) indeed

>liberry dad only lets me take out one dvd of paw patrol

This is fucking bull sharkie

>>12043405
Tom's Midnight Garden anonsanim

Does anyone need a date for the library dance this Friday?

>>12045178
me :)

>library credenza had a sweaty bottom-print on it

I cant wait to mow the library’s indoor lawn tomorrow

>>12045186
L-lewdness is not allowed outside the private collections of the liberry anon

>library DJ spoiled the ending to Gravity's Rainbow

>>12043416
everyone needs a friend anon.

>>12045279
Correction: everyone needs a girlfriend

>>12042869
>The library's professional reciter of Homer quit

>>12046753
my girlfren broke up with me in the fairy fort her frighteningly intelligent daughter made for us in the giant blocks area ):

>>12047136
I unironically want that job

>>12047294
=[

>>12042869
>Library pharmacy out of benzos
Well I guess no Kafka today.

>>12042869
>reading very hungry caterpillar in the children's section
>library bully rips the book out of my hands
>"nice baby book, you little baby"
>mfw he reads chapter books
>mfw I'm two grades above him

>>12043431
>elf on the shelf stole my dustcovers

>library warden banished me to the nonfiction section for 3 months
What do I even do here bros?

>Librarian tells you that you need to go under 20mph when riding your electric scooter around the library

>failed my library license exam again

>I want to take out Infinite Jest
>so does another guy
>now we have to joust
Any tips guys? I've never even ridden a horse before

> library groundskeeper caught me trespassing after 10pm
> now I'm only allowed to take out the audio books on cassette!

>>12048944
just joust ironically

>>12048944
Sorry I have no advice for you. The one time someone challenged me I intentionally shat myself which is of course an automatical loss.

My library’s walkaround Lovecraft character called me a nigger.

>>12043405
Krig by Knut Nærum
Not sure if it is translated to english though

>>12048580
>when someone saves the post I made
Thank you

>>12048869
It's licence in UK English when it's not a verb. That's how they're catching you; take the form with the c, fren.

Its always been my dream to own and run a library or reading space. What kind of unique things would you guys realistically want to see?

>>12049626
Cats

>>12048495
Hoard all the spellbooks and perform continuous curses on him till he relents.

i love these threads

>>12043391
This post is severely underrated and yes I am >>12044838 but I felt the need to come back due to its continued dearth of rating

>>12043405
Season 1 of Yuri on Ice.

>>12050644
>t. contributes nothing

>>12051508
>Not collecting bumps of good threads for admission to the Novel with Cocaine workshop in the Russophile liberry next month
Another smiling virgin who didn't spend the money. Tsk.

>>12042869
I don't know what it is, but I really fucking hate American English. Words like petting, aluminum, petting, mom and shit ending in -ized and -or really fucking annoys me

>>12052319
You hate petting so much you typed it twice?

>>12049626
Mythical beasts set free.

>got caught moving Bibles to the fiction section
>as punishment I can only check out Joel Osteen books
Guys what do I do

>>12049684
A lot of bookstores have cats but that doesnt mean its not a great thing to have.

>>12049626
Coffee please. A fireplace, even electric if it's all you can manage. Have a biweekly poetry workshop and make sure it's well structured (so it doesnt become a bullshit popularity club). Have a section of good books that are discounted for people below the age of 18, books that have literary merit but are still fun and accessible, Huck Finn, Metamorphosis, Flannery O'Connor stories, etc.

>>12053206
Oh, and a lot of Vonnegut, he is so much fun and a great place to start reading for adolescents in general.

>>12043416
Literally how? They starve her if she refuses sexual advances. Are you telling me she literally would rather starve than have sex with you?

Holy shit, what a life.

>>12045178
*Dates you as a joke*

>banned from the library's fast-paced section for reading too slowly
>tfw I have to read slower than I am used to now to avoid getting a speeding ticket

>Code 5 psued alert at my library so everyone had to evacuate

Wonder who it was.

>library driver instructor failed me again for not using my indicators

>girl who normally does extraction for the semen catalog was out
>couldn't reschedule my appointment
>the special needs janitor performed my extraction in her place

>>12042892
>Books are now ordered by moral beauty instead of Alphabetically or by Category
I'm okay with this, Congress systems are worse than Dewey.

>>12053604
Sorry, guys, I really thought Inferno was the third part of the series and I had to spoiler it. I got banned from condescending to my audience for three months if that's any consolation.

>Library baptist preacher replaced all bibles with the KJV again

>>12053663
Yeah but he can only reach the shelves under 5'8.

>>12053647

w-was she a woman? If not, was he at least tender?

>liberry monk was chanting while i was studying
>now my essay is written in high latin

>pick up Ficciones
>someone put all the words away in the dictionary
>now I have to place them all back in the good order

it's getting really tiring...

>>12049626
Serve alcohol

>enter book tavern
>dodge sentient smoke
>hire out a thinking mechanical for a single pewter button for one whole hour
>clerk gremlin smirked as she placed it in her trinket pouch
>wipe corrosive bile from face that gremlin spat for staring at her dainty little gremlin fingers for longer than she was comfortable with
>make donation of a further button by way of apology (gremlin must think I'm a big shot or something now)
>arrive at lectern
>push smouldering heap of bones of previous user to one side and log them out (darn smoke must've got to them)
>insert disc containing sum of all earthly knowledge
>adjust privacy curtain making sure longsocks are not obscured and in plan view clerk gremlin
>doth supplied felt thinking cap and dig through adaptor satchel
>brand spanking new mechanical uses fostergill lacewheel overhang which I have somewhere in here
>Dial the index reference for big human breasts

>>12053730
>reading war and peace
>library monk sees it
>takes it away from me
>throws it in the library fire pit
>gets me a copy of the brothers karamazov

>>12049196
Stop wearing cat ears then.

>Incel was shot out of the emergency escape chute for violating the Library's no singles policy

>>12042869
At least the aquarium will still be open.

>>12049206
t'was baised.

>asked liberrian to show me where the self help books are
>she told me to find them myself

>>12053767
This.

>>12049206
what did it feel like only getting one (you) on so much effort?

>>12053147
I live in a very conservative town so our B&N has about 20 different types of Bibles and ~15 bookshelves dedicated to “Christian living” and one day I was in the fiction section holding a copy of 2666 and looking for something else when this little fat guy in a cum-stained (yes it really had cum stains on it) early 2000’s Walmart black hoodie with a graphic of a skeleton holding two pistols akimbo on the back of it rounded the corner. He smelled awful and had pimples all over his face. His haircut was about 3 weeks overdue a trim and looked like it had been without a wash in weeks. Then, I assume, his girlfriend rounded the corner too and she was just as bad. She was shorter than him and he was about 5’8”. She easily weighed 250+ and had a graphic T with a minion on it. She smelled and looked as bad if not worse than him. As she came over he pulled a Bible of his jacket and placed it there where I removed 2666 and started giggling to himself. His girlfriend laughed and said “your so smart Harold”. Then he saw I had 2666 in my hand so he look at me and said “nice to see another enlightened one around here”. Then he walked away snorting to himself.
Ever since then when I see a Bible in the fiction department I instantly think it was someone like that who did it

>>12052319
t. Nigel Bongsworth

>>12053669
based and breadpilled

>>12047685
I have some benzos and some Kafka, how well do they go together?