/lit/ - Literature

>bookmark dispenser
What and where?

>>12006902
>bookmark dispenser
Are there such things?

>condom dispenser at the library got jammed right when it was my turn
>not allowed to have sex with the one of the librarian-prostitutes since it wouldn’t be safe
Fml

>library drug dealer is late
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy Oblomov without a nice relaxing bit of crack?

>>12006965
should i read Oblomov?

>>12006975
NOT WITHOUT SOME FACKING CRACK GOD DAMN IT

>>12006950
>spend hours reading at the temple of knowledge
>expend all knowledge in the form of semen on worthless temple temptress
The absolute state of you.

>the dog-earing machine is jammed again
Well shit fellas how am I supposed to keep track of my place now?

>>12006985
I have valium, alcohol, and some dxm. A bit of heroin as well but I dont use heroin somebody just left it here

I was going to spend tonight reading some more about esoteric hitlerism and writing a bit of philosophy ive been thinking about recently, but i do miss the days of just drinking and reading 19th century russian lit. Abslutely fucking comfy

>enter library through bathroom tunnels
>reading some Camus when the alarms go off
>”it has come to our attention that there is a person without a gf in the library”
>start sweating
>put up the Camus and walk nervously to the bathroom
>the library guard stops me and asks me where my gf is
>o-oh s-she probably in the YA section
>visibly shaken at this point
>”I’ll help you find her then”
>as he turns to the YA section I sprint towards the library bathrooms
>knock over at least 5 bookshelves on the way
>halfway there when one of the guards tackles me
>he puts me in handcuffs and starts to kick me
>the other guards escort me out of the building and throw me on the pavement breaking my glasses
>through the broken frames I can see shattered sign in the library window that says “no singles”

>>12006997
Don't fap before read, bro! It sucks out your test, bro!

>>12007046
Kekked audibly

>>12007046
You got off easy. Usually they throw us into the auditorium of shame for a two hour humiliation session.

>>12007046
>it has come to our attention that there is a person without a gf in the library
my worst fear desu

>library petting zoo opens up tomorrow
I cannot fucking wait you guys

>>12006902
We have literature dispensers in my city.
You just hit a button for how much time you have to read (1, 3, or 5 minutes) and it'll spit out a poem or very short story for free.
I usually use those as bookmarks.

>searching for /lit/erature section in library
>follow a maze of signs which eventually lead to an underground room
>"literature A-Z, please verify credentials at door"
>several people are rejected by the book bouncer, a smirk forms on my face, ha, fukin pseuds
>at front of line now, peek into room, overhear involved literary discussions, intense arguments
>books strewn across desks, cigarette smoke, library thots hanging off bookshelves, wizened men engaged in argument, young men gathered around them with eager looks on their face, I get to the front of the line
>Book bouncer says he'll ask a question to verify my /lit/ status
>"Is Infinite Jest your favorite book?"
>*sweat forms visibly on my forehead*
>I walk towards exit

>>12006902
>be reddit
>come here through /pol/ and /tv/
>see gay meme on /fit/ and /tv/
>go to weakest meme’ing of all boards which is easiest to slip into since it has no board culture owing to original posters having no sense of humor or self respect
>ruin board for 2 years posting about evola, jbp, crime and punishment, nick land
>finally reach terminus of /lit/cycle
>no one left to call you annoying illiterate newfags
>all remaining oldfags don’t care anymore
>oh look this retarded offtopic, unfunny thread didn’t get deleted we should post one multiple times a week
>no one says you’re retarded uncreative newfags because everyone hates this site and has hated it for years
>feel extreme overconfidence
>wow i really know how to meme
>get this post in your thread
>chimp because you’re reactive NIGGERS

>Popeposter greeted me at the door again
How long are they going to keep him for?

>>12007861
Lololologalize funposting DUDE!

>>12006902
sorrry for your loss

>>12007861
Imagine being this guy

>people keep dropping the weights in the library gymnasium