/lit/ - Literature

I'm so tired when I get home from work I don't have the energy to do much other than shitpost.

>>11976847

I'm taking a greasy asparagus shit and using the agency wifi to post on /lit/. That unintentionally rhymes. Why are my coworkers so inadequate? Man, that statement seems to lack self-awareness in light of the first sentence, but it really is true and I'm the best at my job.

>>11976847
I'm glad I got to get to this thread before it hits triple digit size for once

I dreamed that a nice girl I know was cleaning my palm with a cloth and I woke up with the sad awareness of the eternal time since I experienced the touch of another human.

>>11976847
I'm thinking of starting a youtube channel .
If it's dubs I'll do it.

what if people democratically voted for autocracy

>>11976847
I was invited to the birthday of a girl I know.
Won't go.

>>11977108
Why not?

>>11977114
I imagine she invited me out of courtesy or pity.
I'm trying to convince myself it's for the former reason but deeply I know it's for the latter.

>>11977086
What if something that already happened in other words. Weimar Germany. Hitler was democratically elected and appointed chancellor by von Hindenburg, and the nazi party swept into parliament through perfectly legal means. Only then did the party act to disassemble the democratic apparatus.

>>11977157
Your self-esteem isn't just in the toilet, it's miles deep into the sewer. Try to think better of yourself. What you're imagining they're thinking of you, you are thinking of yourself.

You can't read people's intentions or their minds with reliable accuracy.

>>11977157
>I feel bad about things and my feelings are facts
Even if you're right, the best way to change people having that kind of perception of you is to become more positive etc. Don't just be yourself: improve yourself, be a better yourself, and be happy with the current yourself, but know that tomorrow and next year you will be even better, because you know that you will work towards that.

>>11977071
Roll

>>11977200
>>11977212
I don't care enough about myself to bother.

College is stifling my creative output. I'm reading less in order to complete assignments. My coursework is terrible. Everything I despised about highschool is here at my university. I have now come to the conclusion that education has never been about learning, but forcing. These places are american madrassas, where npc's are pumped out at an astonishing rate.

>>11977220
You can't reroll, just start the Youtube channel if you want to do it that badly. But maybe not badly enough if you're relying on basically a dice roll to make decisions for you.

>>11977225
Congratulations, welcome to adulthood buddy. Now party it up while you still can.

I'm intellectually insecure. I fail at life, but constantly come off as intelligent. I love to write, but I always worry that I'm simply not smart enough. I think deeply and sometimes feel deeply inspired in a way that others would find strange and would say demonstrates intelligence. But I simply don't have any confidence in myself.

>>11977230
It wasn't me, I see someone else took that in consideration

>>11977230
>>11977235
Yea lol that was me

>>11977225
I'm so scared of this. I don't want university to destroy what I love to do at home. I'm 20 and late to start university, will probably be 21 before I even start, but I've got cold feet reading posts like this since I'm willingly taking courses that I know won't pay off. I want to major in English despite everyone telling me to go STEM, but I don't want it to ruin my love of reading and writing.

>>11977196
but they were elected then became an autocracy, not elected as one

>>11977224
I love being smart. I may not have everything in life but at least I'm smart. It's better than anything, more money, height, youth, a bigger member. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I believe in a growth mindset. Anybody can change and the brain is radically malleable if effort and concentration is expended. On the flipside, laziness and lack of discipline can shape your brain into a haphazard mess, checking emails 100 times a day, wasting hours unproductively, procrastinating and avoiding the task at hand.

A man needs to be more than just intelligent, or handsome, or well put together. He needs to have something to do, a goal to shoot for. That goal needs to either stem from within or it needs to be an extrinsic reward. Otherwise modern people aren't much more than caged animals in a zoo called civilization.

>>11976847
People with nothing to show for their time on earth shouldn’t be allowed to use first person tense frequently.

>>11977251
They were planning on it buddy. Anybody who researched the nazi programme could tell that they had authoritarian bents. It's not like they tried to hide it. Hitler was sold as the fix for all that ails Germany. Trump is similar in this respect, but he's diluted and a piss poor authoritarian. Give him a major terrorist attack and that may change.

>>11977257
>Give him a major terrorist attack and that may change.
Nah, he has no ability to do anything. Anyone (on the left or the right) who believes this is deluding themselves and cannot comprehend the mass machine that is US government. Short of a military coup, he cannot actually become authoritarian due to the retarded nature of seperation of powers.

>>11977277
Idk man, he is commander in chief. He could still declare martial law. The president has those powers. Congress would technically need to authorize it, but with executive orders having such a deep and established precedent at this point, who knows how much he could get away with without Congress's consent.

>>11976855
the only way to escape this prison is to start lifting, man. That's the only way to gain extra energy, it's lifting or a fate worse than death.
Or you could also maybe find a normal job, but that's not always possible.

>>11977295
He would not get very far and it would not resemble traditional authoritarianism, it would be something closer to FDR and the like. Slightly more efficient than the apathetic and lethargic behemoth that is US govt, but not much better. Anyways, I don't think even a military coup and full on authoritarianism could solve America's problems at this point. They are rooted much more deeply. At least it will be nice to see the death of liberal democracies.

i'm 27 years old and i've never talked to a female for more than 5 minutes. I tried a lot in college but the conversations never passed the awkward silence phase. Strangely enough, i have male friends and never had any problem making them. Tried tinder. 5 months and 2 matches, 1 with a bot and the other, a girl asked for my height, i said "5'7" and she replied: "no thanks". Yeah i won't be back there, and it seems that i'll truly die alone. I also haven't talked to any other friend in a year, they're all too busy with their families to hang out.

people are setting off fireworks and my dog is frightened, but he is a brave boy and coping very well
i will give him some meat with his food to make him feel better

>>11977320
Maybe, maybe not. It's all speculation. Certainly Trump's affinity for military pomp and flair, and his lavish courtship of the Pentagon, means that if he were cunning enough--which he's not--he could orchestrate very elaborate military-backed shadow ops. He neither has the brains nor the intentions to do something so brazen. He respects more of the law than people give him credit. As do the often honorable generals.

>>11977358
>girl asked for my height, i said "5'7" and she replied: "no thanks".
made my blood boil for a second. I'm sorry about that, anon. She sounds like a bitch anyways.

>>11976847
I love tangerines, they remind me of The Fall and Winter time.

I hope my book comes tomorrow

>>11977396
>if he were cunning enough--which he's not
>neither has the brains
i mean think what you want about trump but i think you need at least quite a bit of cunning and brains to become as successful as he was and then president

>>11977430
what book are you waiting for

I am starting to suspect that my awful diet may be deeply related with my depression.

>>11977444
What looks like some physicists vanity project about how tickling evolved humanity. Nice trips, i'll check the title later if you like but I'm in a rush right now

>>11976847
I'm a good student who is above average in every class, but my peers all have something that they are absolutely amazing in. I feel like I am missing that, and am less interesting because of it.

>>11977411
seriously, when she answered that my immediate reaciton was to laugh. that was so rude and uncalled even for that #yaasqueenslay type that i didn't even get mad. she probably posted that shit to twitter and got 2k likes. i'm getting past all this petty shit. i remember i used to browse "female twitter" (i remember browsing that to see how females interacted with one another because i was writing a story and had no idea how to portray a girl, i still don't, really) and i it made my blood vessels pop. i remember seeing one from this girl who in class looked absolutely normal, bookish type of girl but on twitter she was posting screenshots about how she'd match with guys and then set up dates, sending them to the same location to waste their times. they'd get there and find like 3 other guys that matched with her, all waiting for the same woman. nowadays this type of shit makes me feel nothing desu.

This year I've spend my winter on a tropical Island where my wealthy father lives, I escape the winters in Europe and don't feel as pathetic because I only live at my mothers home for 8 months out of the year instead of the whole year.
I'm 24 and this year had my first real job working in customers service, the one sector that suits me the least. It has become unbearable so I'm considering going back to my birth Island and starting this routine over again. Another plus is that 4 months out of the year I'm not smoking weed every day, although I don't notice the difference a lot/
I don't spend a lot of money and I've saved quite some living at home as well.
I could keep this up for a while but something about it feels wrong to me. Am I spooked?

>>11977438
He had a legion of supporters and sycophants. He knows how to play the media and strut around as a celebrity-business figurehead. He's an entertainer, a reality tv star. He's not a political mastermind.

>>11977535
Seems to accomplish more than a whole lot who came before him though. Not bad for a dumb dumb

>>11977508
Do something interesting while you're living on that island, boy. I'm tired of boring rich people. If I had these opportunities I would be a high flying bon vivant. At least write a collection of stories like I do every time I'm on vacation.

>>11977540
What exactly has he accomplished? Gave more money to the superrich through tax giveaways? Deported thousands of immigrants but still no wall? Botched the Kavanaugh nomination creating a national controversy at the worst possible time? Had dozens of his cabinet and staffers resign in protest of his childish behavior?

>>11977552
he has a lot of money and is the president of the usa

>>11977547
I'm going to disappoint you but the last time it wasn't very interesting, swam a lot, enjoyed the weather as much as I could while doing slave labor at my dad's company.
What do you consider high flying?
I don't know have friends there and the only time I got laid was when my uncle took me to a whore.
What are some things you would do?
I guess I could write some stories down although I'm more of a reader than a writer

>>11977552
Saving billions by tearing up the paris agreement is pretty good.

>>11976847
i haven't eaten in about 50 hours except a bottle of cough syrup last night. Holy fuck was that an unpleasant night. My body has literally no food whatsoever in it, I would explain how I know this but it's gross. I can almost feel it feeding into whatever reserves of energy are stored elsewhere, i did some pullups earlier and it was like moving through molasses.

>>11977562
>lot of money
Big deal, he inherited it from his dad and thru tax scheming. Any instathot retard can sell their image for big bucks if they get set up

>president of the usa
That says more about the stupidity of Americans than anything exceptional about him

>>11977577
Saving billions at the cost of potentially billions of lives. Money doesn't stand for much if you've got no earth to spend it on.

>>11977590
>Saving billions at the cost of potentially billions of lives
lol

>>11977590
>caring about this planet
cringe

>>11977570
>What do you consider high flying?
I just mean taking advantages of what's available to me. Perhaps you're not as affluent as I assumed, maybe only your dad is. But I would definitely travel more and go to more events more widely in the world if the cost was negligible. I'd try to see and experience as much as possible.

>>11977570
>What are some things you would do?
Lots of wandering around and taking everything in. Drinking expensively. Philandering. Studying the culture and local history. Writing and reading in cafes .The occasional drug.

>>11977594
>>11977595
There is nothing to admire about this man. The sooner you realize this the sooner intellectual maturity and adulthood will come to you.

>>11976847
I imagined that I died and people were crying for me, that felt good.

>>11977635
I don't care for both orange man bad and earth.
/leftypol/ tier post

>>11977628
Yeah i'm not wealthy, my dad is.
I of course profit from it but it doesn't mean he gives me 20k to spend while I'm there.
Those things are more fun to do with a friend/gf and I have none on that Island.
As for traveling more I do plan on doing that but again, some friends to go with me would be nice but the few I have are living the wage slave life.
>>11977635
intellectual maturity is being so obsessed with trump you talk about him on image boards not relating to politics

>>11977635
i admire his bantz. that's about the only thing but he honestly has enormous fucking balls
of course that's easy mode for a narcissist but still the Republican Primary debates were the greatest irl shitposting I have ever seen

>>11976847
Started to talk to my japanese teacher through whatsapp. She is kind of pushy with conversations unlike other girls i happened to talked too.
She managed to make me lend her one book i written. She is the only person who game me some positive feedback about the stories. The other friends and family, helped correcting grammar and giving a neutral feedback (like, why they think i wrote a short story rather than if it was bad or good).
I feel bad because i have no physical attraction to her, she is average but i have liked average or not good looking girls before. And she even said that she'll lend me her stories but i have no interest in reading them at all... I even told her that she shouldn't feel obliged.
I wish i wasn't this superficial.

>>11977657
>intellectual maturity is being so obsessed with trump you talk about him on image boards not relating to politics
It's a free-writing thread dumbass. You write what's on your mind. Currently, the Orange Menace is on my mind. As well as how I'm going to put to rest all the idiots in this thread.

>>11977649
Good for you.

>>11977658
I don't begrudge his bantz either. He does have a talent for cutting humor and absurd self-parody. But that counts in his favor as an entertainer, his proper role, not as head of state of a powerful country.

>>11977670
Whatever you say, you're the intellectually mature one in this corner of the anime imageboard.

>>11977682
You're damn right. And all you're trying to do is derail my points. So I'll take your passive comment to be an admission that you've lost.

>>11977686
>lost
so mature.
I'll try to be as mature and filter you.

The fact that men and women have different psychology when it comes to having sex is reminisce of God's. Can you imagine if women's turn on were as easy as men? People would have sex all the time and the concept of love would have lost its appeal by almost 80 percent of what it is today. Zero effort on chasing after women, no production of romantic poems, romantic novels.

>>11977773
And yet, animals don't need those in their lives.
Everything would be ok.

I often cry just a single tear from my right eye when I'm somewhat melancholic and it makes me feel like such a tool

>>11977876
Having emotions doesn't make you a tool.

>>11976847
There can be no progress. It doesn't matter how much one thinks or knows, something else is required entirely to be a person. Belief might be the word for it. All the intelligence in the world isn't enough to convince intelligence of anything. I've spent half my life now thinking, trudging along for some answer, as I equated it with conviction -- thinking on what I should do. All I've learned is how useless I am, and how I've been made all the more useless by the rigor of my skepticism, the depth of my disquiet. I think I can't be convinced of anything, now. That I am wholly ruined. But I'm not sure, of course, and can't but think on it...God, am I weary.

>>11977808
Animals don't have the concept of love/romance.

>>11977876
i unironically would pay to be able to cry again. it's much preferable being a over sensitive faggot than a soulless being. trust me, anon you wouldn't want to be like this

>>11977358
>female

Why is this the telltale sign of sexually impoverished men?

>>11977953
i seriously doubt this. The way mammals pairbond seems very similar across different species. Actually even some birds as well

Unless you mean concept in some abstract sense that requires more intelligence than they have.

>>11977989
girls talk about "white male" all the time though

>>11978003
it tends to be the more sexually impoverished girls that do that to be fair

>>11978003
Only the ones that aren't getting laid.

>>11977989
it's also a black guy thing for some reason, rappers are always saying 'females'

>>11978008
>>11978017
Wrong. Have you guys ever talked to a college girl? They complain about "male privillege" all the time. Male is a common word. Female isn't much accepted for some reason.

>>11978026
>for some reason.
lel i wonder

also whenever i talk to college girls they dont seem to ever bring up this stuff. we just talk about random shit. maybe because it is extremely obvious that im not a college student and look quasi-homeless

>>11978038
Maybe i just have bad luck but pretty much all of the college girls that i know have this "empowered feminist" personality, which isn't much of a personality at all. They are constantly rambling about males and females or making haha le snarky joke about "guy in your class" in order to get attention. They just can't shut up about it, it's like a child that think they've learned the truth about the world and now need to spread the good word.

Aliah plunged three stiff fingers into her throbbing cunt, sending a wave of pleasure through her inner thighs

I watched part of Titanic and Cal Hockley lowkey looks like Julius Evola

I never should have leave my hometown. I haven't see my mother for 2 years and I'm dying inside

>>11978143
look at the nose and the chin. Evola is far more attractive.

>>11978077
"Allah plunged three stiff fingers into her throbbing cunt, sending a wave of pleasure through her inner thighs"

>>11977998
I mean the abstract sense perceived by humans. It wouldn't have been possible without the current psychological setup of two genders.

I have been extra angry for the past few days. Lashing out at people and just being generally annoyed by everything. I'm not entirely sure why. I feel like I'm about to have another meltdown but I haven't had one for about two years now.

For reference I am on the autistic spectrum.

>>11976847
Fucking up my marriage was the biggest mistake in my life.
I was with an insanely good looking girl, way out of my league, intelligent, driven, the whole shebang. We have 2 wonderful kids together.
And then I fucked it up by demolishing her for not being the mother I wanted her to be.

Now I'm sad, alone and have my kids only half the time.

I'm a stupid ass motherfucker.

Is there anyone here who is unironically anti-vaccine? Could you explain why? Genuinely curious.

>>11976847
I’ve felt a singular question about my life emulsify out of the repetitive thinking patterns I perform every night, the ones that come with post traumatic stress disorder. It goes as do:

If your entire life has been taken consumed by the very fact that you have lived through something, have you really survived at all?

Is this a spiritual death?

>>11978460
Go on /pol/ and make a thread that starts with something like "redpill me on vaccines" and you'll find your 4chan anti-vaxxers, I really doubt you'll find any here.

>>11977418
Based comfyposter

I am in a rut. If I didn't have a good job I think I'd be a NEET by temperament. I am actually very scared by that thought.

>>11976847
I feel fucking dumb and i don't have a girlfriend.
pic related, why is this guy so obviously intelligent? I didn't notice any of these things, my only observation during Ghost World was "jew girl got big tiddies"
You know, I wrote to him ''gonna have to rewatch that film now haha" but I know damn well, I won't be able to fucking notice anything
fuck faggots, if only I was a chad, this wouldn't matter

>>11978454
I'm sorry anon. How was she a bad mother? What did you do in response that pushed her away?

>>11978560
I wouldn't worry about it, he's not really noticing anything. He's just making shit up that seems to fit well with the imagery in the film. Anyone can do that with enough practice.

>>11978560
>pic related, why is this guy so obviously intelligent?
Because of genetics. Why do you think Asians are smarter than blacks and whites? It's the way god intended, so struggle with it and accept Jesus.

>>11978613
Even that pressuposes some intelligence. Genetics. Genetics are everything. It's the way god found to imprint fate on our chaotic world. It's pure order.

>>11976847
If you live and recovered through something that kills most people, that’s completely fucked you up, that forced you to crawl out of a rotting hole in the ground, and the memory of this thing has completely wnveloped your life in the post-traumatic sense of things, have you truly survived?

Is this a spiritual death that I am experiencing?

>>11978693
rename that image 'Shiggy diggy'.

>>11977237
If you love English then you should major in it. You'll end up liking at least 50% of your classes. Besides, most lit departments have a lot of course offerings to choose from

>>11978693
What do you mean by spiritual death? You feel like you don't have a soul anymore?
From this post and the one you deleted a while ago it sounds like you need some kind of professional help to stop you from fixating on your past. Also, since this is /lit/, you could try reading Moby Dick, might help.

>If you're writing screenplays to make a lot of money, or to get your work made into a film, one of my screenwriter contacts gave me the advice to "write a bestselling novel instead," since the book publishing industry is easier to break into, and a successful novel is more likely to be made into a film than an original screenplay written by someone outside of the industry.

wtf!?!? Is this true

>>11978693
>survived?
Partially

>spiritual death?
Rebirth requires death.

>>11978760
Publishing isn't easy to get into. But yes a big novel will get optioned immediately and has a built in audience and the proven appeal is very attractive.

How long does a man have to exercise his patience for until it changes from a virtuous act to a foolish one? I feel that's the entire project of my last few years, pushing me further and further along with that promise only to snatch any taste of joy away each time.

>>11978830
cut it loose and be free

>>11978885
I'm too young to die

>>11978899
You're never too young to die.

>>11978899
Write out your last wishes. Someone will do them if they are possible.

I don't want to do my homework because I'd rather read but I'm not reading because I know that I should be doing my homework.

>>11976847
Vaporwave is reddit-tier faggotry, kill yourself.

How are there so many early 20s here who are so knowledgeable about literature? I mean apart from the obvious memesters people here generally tend to know their shit, and more than you would expect them to.

>>11978978
No sex life to get in the way

>>11976847
On this day that I realized that it is of no use to serve any kind of "greater good", as the path to hell is paved with good intentions. People never really have the will or the power to do what is necessary, as doing so would require them to detach themselves from that which they hold most dearly. Thus is born necessary evil, if only for people naming it as such.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCikD1xcv0o

>>11978978
I went to college and i'm a software engineer now. During last semester, i took a class of creative writing. Best class from college by far, teacher was down to earth and always had this contagious positive attitude... I wrote 1 shit book thanks to that class, and a second one because i kept writing after that.

Anyways, i was at last semester during that class and there were a lot of first semester kids who already spoke like they have written thousands of words before.
I don't doubt they have read a lot and written something too... but you could just smell the pretentiousness of their words during an open discussion during class. The way they counter each others arguments and tried to be sly with their intonation... almost cringy.

My guess is art students think they are pretty smart because if they don't, then what do they have left?

>>11976847
I don't know how to form meaningful friendships. I'm 21 and in college. I have a "best friend" but honestly we won't be in each other's lives in a few months because of traveling and work. How do I turn a friendship I like into a truly beautiful thing.

wow nice blast for 2011 op

this site is awful i want to shitpost but all the threads might as well be made by some 4chan script bot

>>11979210
Then make your own threads to show us how it's done, O Master of Shitposting.

>>11978731
I’m partial to “swiggity swooty” -1906 (colorized)

>>11976847
A girl co-worker just deleted me on snapchat when I said no to going over her essay for money.
lol
Any one else ever experience this?

There was a time and a time seemed long ago. That was another person ungifted and relieved of the intervening years. There is a washed up old man I swore I would never be yet find myself by the day becoming. Two things might happen but they are the same. Sickness and death. Or train wreck, and death. The difference is small. Even the sick man supposes his death is coming next month., or next year, and not the next minute. And then it hits him like a train.

I read a magazine article about golf clubs to think of other things. I had a hope that I could swing it, that I could have something totally. I had a few things partially, but always the world took back its property, and in time the world's world will take the world.

I am chewing my nails and drinking beer.

I take pride in the way I word my confession. I judge the priest for being unimpressed.

This soul is a fat gold coin in my black bag of a body. I may lose the bag someday but this coin gets rolled around in my fingers and its coldness is its reality.

the future is bright. the world gets better and better every day

>>11979466
This needs some work, but I like your line
>I take pride in the way I word my confession. I judge the priest for being unimpressed.

>>11978970
>le lazy blanket nebulous boogie man enemy “Reddit”/“Reddit tier” meme

Holy shit get an original thought you mental midget.

>>11978970
vapor wave was shilled on /mu/ first, face it 4chan is soi central

>>11979496
Reddit has a definite meaning, it isn't nebulous at all.

Damn, I didn't win the lottery

>>11979519
>isn’t nebulous at all

>even peoples line spacing is ridiculed and imbued with the pejorative dye of “Reddit”

Fuck out of here.

>>11979542
Just because people use the term wrongly doesn't make it nebulous. Is the term "woman" nebulous because some men call themselves women?

>>11979542
Well you're setting a perfect example of Reddit spacing and generally acting like Reddit so I'd say it's not completely nebulous.

some one said vapor wave check out this fresh vapor fire my dude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjhtVF5a-34

>>11979709
Weird to see this here. I skate and genuinely enjoyed this new Bronze video.

I think I finally understand hegel, but it is in this exact moment I likely do not understand hegel at all.

>>11979795
who gives a shit philosophy is corny as shit

saw the ex gf today
we definitely made eye contact but I panicked and didn't register anything about her face
feel like she doesn't resent me but should, and eventually when she gets more confident she's going to remember me and hate my guts
only ever dated somebody once, but it was enough for me to be sure that I don't deserve another human being and if I end up with someone it will be through sheer luck and/or mercy, and not my own merits
glad these threads exist so I can shit them up with my gay sadposting and leave the rest of the board unmolested

>>11979873
get a load of this incel ass mother fucker

I haven't fapped in a week bc I'm saving up my libido for my school's social event with some ladies from an all-girls hs. I'm 18 before anyone accuses me of being underage. I haven't really had much experience of talking to girls before; how do I get from talking to them to fucking them.

>>11979992
castrate your classmates

>>11979997
No thanks, I'd rather not spend my life in prison.

>>11979992
castrate yourself

>>11979992
learn how to be sexy

>>11980005
No thank you, my sex drive is quite useful for the most part.

>>11980000

I feel like the world around me, and everyone I talk to is superficial at best. There's no real emotion in anything in my life. This part of America has no aesthetics. I hate myself horribly for my failure to get a girlfriend and stabilize my life. I feel like I'm doomed to wander aimlessly and never achieve anything greater than myself- not that the current generation is worth doing anything for because they're primarily a bunch of disengenuous faggots who have no set of higher values, but pursue wanton drug use and general laziness.

>>11980025
start meditating and maybe try dmt or mushrooms if you cant get over that edginess

>>11980046
I'm not being edgy, I've been too depressed to get out of my room for nearly 3 months- and I've attempted suicide but failed. I lost everything I had november last year and I can't get it back. So I feel like I have no future, and the only thing that keeps me going is reading and writing.

I don't take drugs anon. They're not good for you, even if they feel good for you. And the suggestion you're making is that I need to expand my consciousness or I'm being very unnecesarily simple in my thinking.

I did not spend 4 years at a military academy and earn an engineering degree to think I need to take mushrooms to expand my fucking ability to perceive the world around me.

>>11980025

I hate this place. I'm not allowed to leave though.

>>11980064

Anything left of 110 is an NPC

>>11980058
I'm not that anon but
effects vary. they aren't a feel-good drug
mushrooms can treat depression (google it)
they can push you out of your normal POV to look at your life from another angle
they aren't for everyone

>>11980070
you'll die sooner or later

>>11980075
even if they might help me with my depression, aren't they still illegal?

>>11980079
Yes they are illegal. (They aren't any kind of priority for the police.)
I don't want to get logged into the medical system as a depressive so I self medicate with shrooms once in awhile.
(Then I drink to cut down on my anxiety. I wish I had a real scrip for that but I don't have medical insurance anyway.)
/blog

>>11980046
>>11980100
I think I'll start with meditation.

>>11979730
Are you Mark suciu?

>>11980107
I do that too and it helps.

I had a really cool idea for a drawing as I was falling asleep but now I've woken up it's gone.

As an American sailor I had a wonderful experience while in Japan. i had been drinking and got lost while trying to find my way back to the landing for the boat to the ship which was anchored in the harbor of a small traditional Japanese town. At about 2AM I was walking down a road under a full moon through a beautiful landscape right out of a woodblock painting. It was summer and I could have walked all night :) A very old Japanese man putted up on his motorbike on this empty road and stopped and spoke to me in Japanese. I don't speak Japanese and so he motioned to get on the bike behind him and we putted off at about 10 mph. Eventually we came to a kiosk where he made a phone call. While we waited I offered him a cigarette and he happily accepted. We stood there smoking and smiling and police car pulled up. The two police officers, who spoke English, introduced themselves and explained that the old man had called and said that he thought i might need some help. They politely asked me to come with them and I gave the old man some cigarettes while thanking him. His smile is still with me today. At the police station the officers took their shoes off, relaxed and made tea for us, I shared my cigarettes with them and we talked and laughed for a couple of hours. I was treated very nicely and really enjoyed speaking with them. When I got tired, they showed me a couch where I slept until the shore patrol from my ship arrived the next morning to take me back. I will always remember how kindly i was treated and how nice that old man and the two police officers were

>>11980644
Did this really happen? I wish I had joined the Navy.

I can feel my talents and abilities increasing each day with each bit of practice.

Work hard and you can achieve anything, anons.

>>11980680
It did but it wasn't me. I stole it off a comment because it felt comfy.

Woo op woo op woo op uh huh uh huh uh huh huh *violin sounds* my name is Miker G
I use the holiday with the M.I.C but they ain't got nothing on me I want to dance with you and I'm sophisticated fun I eat filet mignon, I'm nice and young because I’m number one ride n in style everybody get on the floor crank the party up cuz we about to get it on let me see you 1- 2 step I love it when you 1-2 step everybody 1-2 step we about to get it on Jazze made it (ha!) yes I farted goodies make the boys jump on it and now I stop you let me see you one two step

go

niggers

>>11981311
Watch your language.

Does anyone else have dreams where it feels like it's sort of a 'part two' to a previous dream you had, only to realize you never had such a dream before then upon waking up?
I've been getting these more often and it's incredibly weird, like fake memories are getting planted in me head during my sleep.
Also commonly after waking up I'll think I'm on my phone, looking up stuff or whatever, only to realize I'm still lying in bed with my phone to my side, and that what I was doing/seeing on my phone was just a sort of hallucination, though I could probably attribute this to being groggy after waking up.

>>11981398
>Does anyone else have dreams where it feels like it's sort of a 'part two' to a previous dream you had, only to realize you never had such a dream before then upon waking up?

I have. And I've also had dreams where I'm hoping for a sequel that I know will never come.

Nominalism is the ideology that's destroying the society rn. Bring back the essentialism.

I feel too much

my friends wife keeps making fun of me for being a virgin

I have imaginary conversations with idealized versions of old friends. I've spent more time having these fake conversations than I have with actual ones in the past year.

>>11980025
Hate to burst your bubble but it's that that everywhere in the developed world. We're having a global monoculture informed by technology and the universal culture of the internet, consumerism, and blah blah blah

>>11980058
>I did not spend 4 years at a military academy and earn an engineering degree to think I need to take mushrooms to expand my fucking ability to perceive the world around me.
L M A O, you sound like the most "superficial" person imaginable. Only thing worse than a druggie is a puritan desu.

>>11981542
Hot.

>>11981672
Faggot.

"I love being smart. I may not have everything in life but at least I'm smart. It's better than anything, more money, height, youth, a bigger member. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I believe in a growth mindset. Anybody can change and the brain is radically malleable if effort and concentration is expended. On the flipside, laziness and lack of discipline can shape your brain into a haphazard mess, checking emails 100 times a day, wasting hours unproductively, procrastinating and avoiding the task at hand.

That's the only way to gain extra energy, it's lifting or a fate worse than death.

A man needs to be more than just intelligent, or handsome, or well put together. He needs to have something to do, a goal to shoot for. That goal needs to either stem from within or it needs to be an extrinsic reward. Otherwise modern people aren't much more than caged animals in a zoo called civilization.

People with nothing to show for their time on earth shouldn’t be allowed to use first person tense frequently.

I dreamed that a nice girl I know was cleaning my palm with a cloth and I woke up with the sad awareness of the eternal time since I experienced the touch of another human."

>>11981843
>I dreamed that a nice girl I know was cleaning my palm with a cloth and I woke up with the sad awareness of the eternal time since I experienced the touch of another human.
I had a similar dream recently, only I was rubbing vaseline on this skank at work's nipples.

>>11981542
Give her the dick anon

>>11981542
one of my chaddish roommates gfs was making fun of me last week for jacking off all the time, speaking of which...just got done fappin right now, deal with it, the rent is paid

>>11977071
Are you the same guy that wanted to do internet stories from two days ago?

>>11981542
one of my chaddish roommates gfs was making fun of me last week for jacking off all the time, speaking of which...just got done fappin right now, deal with it, the rent is paid

>>11976847
Haven't seen any anime posted in some time.
That's Nice. I can go back to discussing books and being polite to people.

>>11981993
No, I just started uploading short clips and playing with a video editing software.
Nothing I would be proud to show anyways.

was browsing the other boards and i have to say that /lit/ might be trash, but it's in no way comparable to the hellhole that is /tv/ or /mu/. take a shit board like /tv/. ok, if you're not going to seriously discuss films, if you prefer the haha le shitposts, then at least be funny. not only they are not funny but the level of discourse is laughably low, below eddit tier. /mu/ goes the same but it has less shitposts and more juvenile irrelevant music. i seriously doubt that anyone older than 20 still listens to kendrick lamar or whatever meme rap they unironically listen to. at least sharethreads are decent. the rest of the boards on this site are so bad they do not deserve my visit to rate them.
i just think there's no quality place on the internet. other literature forums in general are dead or are humourless trash with users who post highschool essay tier "observations" about literature. with film is the same though i've seen decent discussion on rtruefilm, though 90% of their posts are what i just described about "serious" literature forums. /lit/ is the perfect blend between fun shitposting and content but i feel over the years the tide has shifted to shitpost too much.
this is all vanity, vanity of vanities, the biblecuck was right. i have no place on the internet to go, really. i spend my days "studying" and in my "free" time i shitpost here and lurk on some other places but i have no home, no friends to talk with, no nothing. i just miss having interesting frens, i look around the internet and everyone is boring, myself included.

>>11982153
people who take tv seriously are utter fucking trash, like can u imagine being some faggot who analyzes whatever doctor show is on nbc like its some kind of work of art and not shit to entertain mindless plebs, imagine having a strong opinion about season 3 of ER or something

>>11982173
pretty much. i do wish there was a /lit/ version for discussion of films though. tv shows are absolutely trash, i haven't seen one that is on the same level of good films, though i kinda like the sopranos

>>11982178
Just discuss films on /lit/, we've had good threads here before. Just remember to tack on "books expanding on this idea?" or similar to the end of your post to keep the mods away.

>>11982197
yeah, fuck, i forgot about that. i remember participating on some threads that had the "Sculpting on time" by tarkvosky as a thinly veiled film discussion. they were decent i remember, don't know how i forgot them. see, this is why i'm praising /lit/, though yesterday i was shitting on it. it seems that if you ask the right questions you can get quality discussion

>>11982217
/lit/ would be really good if people would just learn not to respond to trolls

>>11982153
internet isn't a substitute for irl. i'm massively introverted and love being alone most of the time but if i didn't have friends and work friends i'd go crazy with nothing but internet

maybe take up a hobby that gets out out of the house. i'm doing nanowrimo for instance and going to the write ins. take a martial arts class or something.

>>11982007
Based

>>11982007
Been having a shit day, this post made me giggle.
Thank fren

>>11976847
When ever I see someone that is extremely attractive to me It makes me feel like garbage, and messes up the rest of my day. And sometimes I wonder if I ever have that same effect on people.

>>11982245
i mean i haven't talked interacted with a person for more than 5 minutes (if you don't count 4chan as interaction) for a year. and yeah, i absolutely agree, i also 'love' being alone and every time i interact with some one for more than a hour or so i get absolutely drained of energy. unfortunately the internet is no substitute because it's trash and i've "matured". it was absolutely a substitute when i was a kid playing gmod and cs 1.6, and i probably fucked myself for being in the internet instead of making irl true relationships.
>maybe take up a hobby that gets out out of the house
it's contradictory, i'm sick of being alone but at the same time i have no desire to interact with people around me desu.

I don't like that we live in a world were a huge amount of things could be automated and rendered essentially non-scarce but they just aren't. Food is the big example in my mind. Is there a way I can help remedy this? My fear is that all the holdups are of a political nature, which isn't something I'd be any good at addressing.

>>11982007
I've enjoyed your little saga anon. Start jacking off in the middle of the living room now.

>>11982007
Finally, the no-nofap revolution we've been waiting for.

>>11982346
>My fear is that all the holdups are of a political nature, which isn't something I'd be any good at addressing.
They almost certainly are, I'm afraid. I don't really know what to say other than to become either a politician yourself or to become a hot-shot lovable billionaire that captures the public's imagination and shows them an image of the future that they'd never considered before.

>>11982007
Capped

>>11982232
60 percent of the site would die instantly.

>>11977358
Have you tried cute boys instead.
They won't be a bitch about your height and boipussy is amazing.

>>11977358
27 is young enough to go on a journey of self-realization and improvement. You can do it Anon

I like halloween.
I mean the commercialized halloween with kids wearing cheap costumes and asking for candy. It's fun, it's innocent, you know.
That said I still pretend to not be home because this is my candy go away.

>>11977358
How is your tinder so bad? I get a match every couple of days and I'm a weird autist who doesn't try to obscure that fact

I'm rocking between comfortable self-confidence, where I look at the world and think that its beautiful and I'll be satisfied to be in it, doing my hobbies and reading beautiful books until the day I die and terror that I'll fail my exams and not get onto the course I want to, or that I'll fail to write this essay decently. I've spent years working up to a state of affairs where I can look at the world and be happy, and can look at myself and know that I'll be alright, I don't want to sacrifice that tranquility for ever single stress in life. I love worcestershire sauce.

>>11982608
I wish it was that easy, anon, men are disgusting.
>>11982618
How to 'improve' and at what? If we remove relationships then i'm fine in life. Do you know how hard it is for a 27 year old guy to make friends? Here's a fact that maybe you don't know if you're not this old: people at this age don't make friends. They stay at their social groups and with their families. The same goes for meeting a girl. Normally you meet a girl that's friend's with your friend but that didn't work out for me and doesn't happen anymore because everyone is either married or they don't care. "meet girls at bars and public spaces" I've tried that and i can say, that a grown lonely man trying to meet new people at public spaces is one of the most pathetic sights you'll ever see. If you're young and are reading this, then try to fix your social life NOW. You don't want to be in my situation. But anyway, that advice has obviously not worked for me. Strangely enough i think i "understand" human interactions, it's just that i don't know how to act them, or when i act myself i'm not amusing or interesting enough to others. I'm forever doomed to being a observer.
>>11982636
I'm ugly and charmless. Let's be honest anon, you're not a "weird autist" (or maybe you are, feel free to disprove me). Terry Davis was a weird autist. Kids who can't go to school without noise blocking headphones because sound make them paralized are weird autists. Maybe you're a little off the mark, or not a normie but that is definitely not a deal breaker from what i have observed, especially if you're good looking. "but i'm not good looking", you're probably not bad looking either. My problem really is: being ugly and not knowing how to interact with girls.

>>11982245
Yes, I'm such a faggot that I live somewhere that has a reputation for being literary and I take almost no advantage of that whatsoever. I'm so fused to the internet that it subtracts from my ability to deepen my involvement with the literary world.

Then again I've always been a bit of a recluse when it comes to getting out and engaging other people about lit so I doubt it's entirely the internet's fault.

i wish i was more literate, i just really struggle with words i mean that in a non-brainlet way

>>11982705
maybe you're mildly dyslexic

>>11982696
Manly men gross me out. Cute girly boys are ok though.

>>11982705
Are you dyslexic ?
Maybe try reading more if you're having trouble with processing the words.

>>11982709
probs, everyone in my senpai is like highly dyslexic i just wish i wasnt

How is student loan debt a thing? The idea of forcing a student to hedge their entire economic future on their one time educational choice is plainly retarded, if not outright fraudulent.

Now 40% of US student debtors are in default and that number ought to grow, grow, grow. This is our economic bomb we can use to explode the whole house of cards. No one should pay a single penny of interest on any student loan!

>>11982739
I unironically agree with this.

>>11982696
>Do you know how hard it is for a 27 year old guy to make friends?
As a 27 year old guy, I can say it's pretty easy actually

>>11982821
How? Not him, but I'm in my early 20s and already worried about making new friends. Genuine friends that is, like the kind I had in high school.

It seemed to him after his cold shower that the only way to win over this girl was to stop caring about her. The restless nights and the waves of anxiety were not worth the trouble of his young love

>>11982821
I wish it was easy for me. But i have talked about this with my friends and they said the same. They didn't make any new friends in the last years, they just got closer to people they already knew. I see other anons that are close to my age saying the same, it's extremely difficult to find people who aren't engaged and want to make friends with you.

Kant is a fucking shitlord I hate him so much why couldn't the 3rd biggest breakthrough in philosophy been done by someone other than that fucking autistic midget.

>>11976847
I want to go to the gym, but I'm so beat from working at a touristy restaurant at an amusement park. The job is lousy and banal. Just the other day, I worked an eleven hour shift.

>>11982842
I'd also like to know this. I can "make friends" in the sense that I find people to go the gym with, have lunch with, drink with, etc, but they don't feel genuine. I measure a good friend by asking myself if I would be distraught if they disappeared from my life. No one has met that mark since high school.

I really, truly, just deeply desire people I can meet up with at sunrise then fuck around in town all day before driving up to the hills and having a bonfire and laughing and joking until its two am and we all head back home shouting about our plans for the next day. I would give up all of other dreams of academic success and getting published and traveling and having a cute gf for that. 'Cause what's the point of living if you're doing it alone?

I wonder if it's possible to write about a girl shitting her pants and make it sound sexy.

>>11982245
>nanowrimo
thanks for mentioning this, i was unaware. sounds fun.

I want a difficult, dangerous job again, I was used to hard living and no longer get shit done. I am growing soft

It's pretty obvious that she's into me yet I sperged out again today. Besides some small talk it didn't go anywhere. I think she left the class looking vaguely confused or even sad. I just totally froze up. To be fair, on my part I'm more worried about if something really does come of this. What will I get out of it? I've never really been in love and the unknown petrifies me.

>tfw single
>Grill at work is constantly giving me "that" look
I'm so fucking horny, I need to fuck this girl. She's like a 7/10 20 year old qt too. She's not old enough yet to have some drinks after work though how do I do this?

>>11983161
Just choose a dangerous hobby like hang gliding or bomb making

>>11978077
aw fuck yeah

>>11978209
go back anon she misses you too

How can I stop myself from reaching near Werther levels of romanticism? I can't keep on living this way. I know I'm young but every day is a roller coaster.

>>11983344
Different anon but I love my mum and she's been, at times, the only thing keeping me from throwing myself off a bridge.

>>11983386
This is what I did, operating under the assumption that you're not actually going to succeed in getting with her.
>be like you
>build relationship with crush to point where a platonic friendship is impossible to continue (this part is key, you need to put yourself in a position where you can't back down)
>ask her out, or, if that is not possible due to her having a boyfriend, etc, just tell her you love her
>disappear into the night and never talk to her again
>think on her daily, but in a way one looks back on and longs for a story that you've reached the ending of

>>11976847
Is 1st person perspective a crutch?

I just want one thing to look forward to in my day. Recently, I bought a Nintendo Switch, but I find myself so bored with it that out of four games, I've only played one more than an hour, and even that one just feels like nothing, like I might as well be reading an economics textbook. With my PS4, same deal: I got Guilty Gear Xrd, the Shenmue collection, the DMC HD Collection, Final Fantasy X/XII, 1 year of PS+, and...nothing. It feels like nothing. For my birthday I bought a large stack of books, also untouched. Today I bought the last copy of Dubliners at the campus bookstore. But I don't want to read anything. I don't the energy, and if I did it anyway, it would still feel - nothing. That's all.

Such is life with anhedonia.

How does one transition from small talk with a tinder girl to actually meeting up, etc? And what timeframe should you be trying to advance the relationship in?

Assume I'm doing this out of a pathetic want for human contact not because I'm desperate to get laid. My ideal outcome would be taking her a coffee date.

>>11982007
How loudly do you fap anon that she can keep hearing you and noticing? Assuming this isn't a larp

>>11979730
is that you wilguen

>>11983414
>operating under the assumption that you're not actually going to succeed in getting with her.
Thanks for the advice anon but actually I'm this poster >>11983257
What scares me the most is that I do have a real chance of getting with her and somehow I feel as if I'm subconsciously sabotaging myself. I've never felt romantic love and it truly scares me. When I'm away from her I idealize her and the moment I see her in person, I freeze up; and its all my fault since she's a sweet girl. I know this is lame but I just needed to vent since I don't have anywhere else to.

>>11980025
eat acid and listen to emo music

Women are such a fucking mystery, even when you feel you're doing everything right and you're confident about where things are going... I don't even know what to do anymore.

I sometimes wonder how our ancestors would've managed modern dating and romance. Tempted to start reading some Michel Houellebecq right now but that would just make me feel like a turbo-incel. Gotta keep resisting the blackpills I guess...

>>11976855
Lift mang. Lift/work out, drink more water, consider Keto

I'm feeling better after that nigga. You can do it

>>11983471
>watches youtube instead
Super guilty of this. I still watch gaming comedy videos daily despite not having played vidya for five years. I could get a lot more done if I stopped doing it, but autistically enough it's the part of the day I enjoy the most and what keeps me going through the drudgery.
it's because it feels like having friends

>>11983480
>it's because it feels like having friends

>>11983480
>>11983482
>it's because it feels like having friends

who else /failednormie/ here?

>>11983430
Jus b urself

>>11983420
Seek therapy.

>>11983506
fuck off pol

>>11983529

I want to be clean.

>>11983526
I tried therapy, but it's a biological problem, and only medicine can cure it. I know it sounds like I'm being metaphorical with my description, but I'm being very literal. In fact, I ordered a powder from China for the sole reason that people with my issue rate it highly, since regular antidepressants don't work for them, and they haven't worked me me either. I'm over panicking about it, but still, my life feels so empty when I get home. I want to enjoy my free time yet I just can't. It's bizarre.

That's why I think I'll pick up some crappy multiplayer game on my PS4. They're just stimulating enough to keep me distracted while I wait for this thing to ease up.

It's 1am and I'm laid in bed but all I can fucking think about is breakfast.

>>11983580
Good luck man.

>>11983277
Normie get out. Get out normie.

>>11983099
>>11982842
After a bit, A good trick is to have them do a favor for you. This gives them some investment in you.

Can a machine pray?

>>11976847
I have accomplished my mission of getting to dallas before halloween.I pitched my tent before the rains came but then it started to flood.I dug trenches and it drew the flood waters away but one channel blocked up and I got damp.I cleared the blockage and the waters receded.I am damp and its 50 degrees outside.I look forward to cooking dinner on my msr stove,potatoes,onions,mushrooms,bell peppers and ground beef with a few eggs.When i cook in tent it becomes warm and drys things off.

>>11983766
Please elaborate anon. Are you vagabonding?

>in Political Science class
>'so how does feminism have any relevance in society today?'
>fat bitch starts to speak
>"well it's kinda sexist how girls get pregnant and boys don't. I got pregnant once and I had to go through all this bs to kill the babby while the guy who got me pregnant buggered off someplace..."
How can feminism help with this? Those are biological differences

>>11983775
yes

>>11983782
I looked ahead into the syllabus of my intro to poli sci class in order to skip the lecture on feminism. Still got all the questions about feminism right on the midterm.

>>11983782
I really hope this didn't happen. My opinion of the university system is already near rock-bottom.

When are we going to admit we just need a trade school for office drones?

Why is the night so fleeting? I dread the morning and everything that comes with it.

>>11983798
yeah I missed the feminism module too

>>11983843
Night is the only time I can write. It's why I like the winter, more nighttime.

>>11983935
Yeah winter usually spells a marvelous boost in my writing productivity. 4 months of unalloyed weather-imposed cloistering in my private scriptorium.

>>11983935
yo im the same for writing code i cant do shit if the sun is up idk why

>>11983526
>Jus b urself
Alright anon I'll try

>>11983563
Want me to give you a bath?

>no clear way to advance conversation
>its with a girl I think is pretty cute
help

wow my mind is blown by how shitty nextflix is, someone just gave me their log in so i get comfy to binge some shiz, and i put in godard, nothing comes up, weird, well maybe they dont have much french shit, put in kubrick, the shining comes up only, ok, put in america psycho, doesnt even have that, what the fuck do they only have super hero movies and cop shows or what?

>>11984697
they didnt even have that live action ghost in the shell remake, oh shit do they have that dfw movie?

>>11984697
idk why you expected quality. i have a huge queue and only a handful i really want to watch. i mostly pay for it for my mom.

i heard fandor is decent

>>11979519
Originally it was an insult during the Meme War to degrade "reddit humor" when compared to 4chans danker memes

I'm tired of sleeping on the floor, gets comfortable when you get used to it, but the act itself makes me wanna cry

>>11984844
Do you want to me to sleep next to you anon?

>>11984891
yes

>>11984895
Why are you on the floor anyway?

I'd like to feel like I'm not about to die for about 15 minutes. Lately I've just been feeling like shit and I don't know why. I could go to a clinic but I just think it's regular fatigue/lack of sleep combined with cold symptoms. But man does it suck. I'm still able to go about my day and function but I just feel like well blended shit.

I know I could live healthier and that it is within my power to do so, but habits are the devil and will keep you set in your ways until you've been ground to dust. At a certain point you have to take executive control and consciously abort a habit before it is enacted.

>>11984844
What happened to your bed? Your post is making me sad :(

>>11983471
Keto is a bad meme. Better to go vegan.

>>11982007
This is why living with carnally minded people causes you to be sexual too. If you want to be a slave to this life draining habit, then carry on. Don't pretend it's an act of power or agency. It is an act of capitulation.

>>11985596
Based flesh renouncement poster

>>11982153
I'm one of the anons attempting to float a /drum/ general on /mu/. One of the things that bugs me about that board, aside from it being teenagers with the same awful tastes of all teenagers, is the lack of instrument discussion.

Already I've learned a lot and hopefully inspired others to get their learn-on. It's really rekindled my want to grow, as long-time players eventually carve an identity and then peddle it like the whores we're forced to become. Most of the community is acting like, well, a community more so than the dick-waving that most drum discussion devolves into.

I think most of the community correctly finds me a flibbertigibbet sperg, just like most of my peers irl, but I'm old enough to own that, not implying younger people can't do the same.

Ultimately I think it's unsustainable, but it's been nice to have a place to sharpen concepts and take the pulse, ya know?

>>11978454
t. endeavor

>>11985701
good luck anon. if there's ever a piano learning general i'll be sure to participate, i want to self teach but seems really hard.

>>11977392
i have a friend whose dog is retarded

>>11977773
confusing god with evolution is somehing that always gets to my nerves tbqh it"s like an allergic reaction to such level of brainletism

>>11985782
Thanks, there's key and piano threads here and there. The /prod/- production general might be more piano oriented. Real musicians fear the /mu/.

why did the janny delete the uni thread from last night? we've always had those. much better than pseudo porn threads or deleuze posting.

>>11977773
>People would have sex all the time and the concept of love would have lost its appeal
Sounds pretty good to me

I feel like a warm, snowless winter day looks.

Escapism doesn't work for me anymore. When I was a kid every new sight and impression was much stronger and I could get lost in w.e entertainment I was consuming. Now I'm just going through the motions hoping to recapture that feeling, but it just gives me anxiety. The only things I still enjoy are sleeping, eating and drinking.

Also I have no friends (not even online anymore) and I'm an ugly virgin working a grueling, low-paying job I hate and I have nothing to believe in.

I don't understand people who complain that their personality is too bland for them to get a gf. Like shouldn't that admission horrify you into change? You've essentially just said you're not a real person.

I used to think hard-materialism was horrifying, but now I think it's pretty neat. The idea that the mind is just a machine is unappealing at first, but once you realize that it would be a machine of grand and transcendent complexity I get a feeling of awe at the idea.

I still don't believe it's true though, no one has ever given me a convincing argument for what thoughts, feelings, etc would be materially. Differing neuroelectrical states themselves don't explain the subjective experiences that are claimed to arise from them.

I hope more people realize that maybe they aren't depressed , just exhausted. And that can easily be cured.

>>11986625
How?

>>11986567
I feel like I've said this verbatim before.

>>11986618
Every time I take the dualist approach, I worry that I'm just on a cop-out train to cop-out land because I'm scared of death, and, uh, life too, I guess.

>>11986567
why should i kneel before the female trial over my personality? why should i let their judgement change me in any way? i'd rather get a gf that loves me for what i really am, though i do understand what you're talking about.

>>11986618
sure thing, there's a gap between the eletrical neurological states but i also don't think any other explanation is better than this. we're a biological machine lead on by genetic and neurological expressions. no free action, no nothing, just a voyeur experience of life, though that's wrong, since i don't believe in any 'self' to be voyeuristic. destroy some part of a man's brain and he loses coherence, he loses 'self', there's something weird on how all these particles arise to give a unity, but don't you think it's also weird that we observe this same 'oneness', 'coherence' in the universe as a whole, as compared to quantum mechanics? just embrace materialism already, it's beautiful, i'm essentially leaving depression by admitting it, i feel free of any constraint "life" puts upon me.

>>11986727
By dealing with what's exhausting you. It may be stress, lack of sleep, maybe you haven't been out having fun with friends, maybe it's a mineral deficiency, maybe you need to work out just to get out of that slump and also get into the right mindset that you can be happy without some things you carve at the moment ( a girlfriend, a better paying job, being able to hang with your friends etc). For me being depressed feels like I just want to sleep and I can't think clearly. That's when I know I need to restart and get my life toghether.

>>11986806
Like I said, I'd be fine with materialism if someone could fill in the missing step between:
my brain, an electrochemical computer -> ??? -> my subjective experience of the world

All the explanations of consciousness I've read have been unsatisfying. It's undoubtedly tied to the material word, that much is clear, but if it exists fully within it, where is it?

>>11986836
yeah, whatever it is, is completely subject to the material experience. why assume it's some transcedental nonsense free from matter when it simply isn't? i mean, it could be, but unless you think there's some afterlife where the conciousness gets free from this body, the fact is that conciousness is a slave. If it existed before it entered in this body, then it was limited, for i can't remember anything from that time. if i can't remember anything because i didn't have the material means (that is a brain), then why should i assume that i was concious before? It's an empty assumption, assuming that you believe in some transcendental aspect. if i can't assume that i was concious before, then why should i assume that i'll be concious after? either way conciousness seems to be destroyed when matter is destroyed, thus we should pay more attention to materialism than whatever else there is to fill the gap. like i said, there's no fullfillment of the gap for now, but there isn't anything else as well. for now i'll just embrace materialism.

lmao at the fact that "fascism with american characteristics" has turned out to be a worship of stupidity and sheer incompetence enforced by weight of law

>>11980074
>JD Salinger was an NPC

>>11986957
american fascism isn't going to happen because americans arent cucked af european peasants, "american fascism" is wishful thinking from sick european minds who wish someone could be as depraved as them

>>11986567

moreover, how bluepilled do you have to be to think women give a shit about dudes personalities lmao

lol i just woke up its 2pm lol

damn it man i thought i had a chance to jack but i think i just heard my roommate

>>11987122
People get personality confused with the fact that women are more attracted to conviction and resultant action taken from said conviction. If you’re the type of person who successfully goes after what he wants in life regardless of what other people think of him (women especially), that’s a primal marker for stability that makes a man attractive.

>>11987130
see
>>11982007

>>11986567
I'm probably too boring for a gf. But the truth is I don't really believe my interests are that boring. It's that they are to women and don't sound impressive or interesting. Like this thread. Would you show it to a girl? I don't think it's boring to participate in a thread or board like this, but I sure as hell wouldn't share it with any girl to interest her.

What woman wants to discuss abstract radical politics, harebrained philosophy, world building and the meaning of stories, etc.?

>>11987353
Solid point.

>>11976847
can cats drink soda only with one spoon

>>11987353
I think you're seriously overestimating how interesting women are, or how interesting they expect their partners to be—whatever 'interesting' is supposed to even mean here. They just want to be coddled and cuddled and made to feel warm and safe. Field of interests almost invariably comes after personality in the hierarchy of compatibility traits; also most women are very easy to impress and entertain.

>>11987109
it's trying to happen right now but the americans are too dumb to do it properly. Which is probably a good thing but it's hilarious to watch them flail about trying to be authoritarians

>>11987353
I've known a few girls I'd show this thread to. They're rare but they exist.

>>11987646
>They just want to be coddled and cuddled and made to feel warm and safe.
wtf I want to be a woman now!

>>11987646
I think you're seriously overestimating how interesting men are
>sprots
>vidya
>porns

Been a really tiring, trying kind of a day.
Nothing went wrong, everything seemed to go fine but in the most irritating, wearying way possible, all fucking day. 100% ready for bed.

Why is this painting so arousing?

hhccgyjj