/lit/ - Literature

>>11511101

Oscar Wilde
Voltaire
Jane Austen
Friedrich Nietzsche
Jonathan Swift

>>11511101
how can there be this many posts about this guy every single day? when is this confounded meme going to die?

>>11511101
just look at the size of that chin

>>11511150
Oscar Wilde would me more like a reddit type of guy, no?

Do you guys think Houellebecq does it?

>>11511359
Yes

>>11511101
Pynchon

>>11511101
me

>>11511190
wilde would be the once and future king of all tumblrinas
and as a teenage boy he would write the best gay porn fanfiction of all times
makes me want to cry he wasn't born today, it would be so hilarious

nietzsche would spend 18h a day on /r9k/, /fit/ and /mlp/

bronte sisters would be 4channers and would troll everyone larping as men and saying outrageous things

plato and cicero would be constantly banned on all boards outside /pol/

dickens would have a satirical page on facebook, full of terribly unfunny jokes

lorca would read his poems on youtube and he would have an army of teenage rabid fangirls who would never accept he's gay

jane austen would have a gossip celebrity blog and a dating-site start-up

no-one would browse /lit/, why a writer would do it?

>>11511408
Based

[Insert author I like here]

>>11511157
It's already dead. You're dead. This is hell.

Democritus
Diogenes
Catullus
Rabelais
Rimbaud
DeQuincey
Chaucer
Hume
Schopenhauer
Hunter Thompson

Poe, Salinger, and Proust would be lurkers.

>>11511492
plus Coleridge, deSade, Thomas Paine, Gilnas, and pre-Luddism Ted Kaczynski are all also strong contenders

>>11511408
Proust would not use 4chan

Joyce would stick to /gif/ and /pol/

Hunter S. Thompson on /k/ and /pol/

Schopenhauer on /r9k/

>>11511359
Yes he talked about in an interview

>>11511157
Dave is eternal newfriend

No respectable author/artist should waste his time on social media or images boards

>>11512063
>Proust would not use 4chan

proust would have some old-school blog with rambling, lengthy journal-style posts and creepy stalker photos of his chauffeur (and of some random lolitas, for the sake of decency)

>>11511408
>nietzsche would spend 18h a day on /r9k/, /fit/ and /mlp/
Fuck, this is so spot on. He'd also occasionally venture on /pol/.

>>11511150
Voltaire for sure

>>11511408
Fuck you Dickens is a god.
>>11511150
Wilde would have a Twitter page where he would deliver one line witticisms on the daily.

>>11512169
>Wilde would have a Twitter page where he would deliver one line witticisms on the daily.
oh, that's much better than mine!

that's so unfair, why was he born in pre-internet times? he was made to be god emperor of social medias :(

Aristophanes
The Sophists
Lao Tzu
Li Bai
Li Po
Voltaire
Diderot
D'Holbach
D'Alembert
Donne
Nietzsche
Kierkegaard (tfw no gf)
Marx
Hitler
Trotsky
Bram Stoker
Ring Lardner
George Orwell (iffy on this one)
William Burroughs
Norman Mailer
Hunter Thompson
Otto Weinenger
Pablo Neruda
Phillip K Dick
Anders Brevik
Dave Wallace

Flann O'Brien would have made the mods shut us down. I'm kind of sad he died too earlier now.

>>11512806
also Kafka and Robespierre

tao lin lol

Milton would be spamming here, /qa/, /news/ and /r9k/ about the mods censoring his ten millionth post about his wife.

locke, montaigne, swift, pope, sartre, cioran, lovecraft

maybe some expats like ezra pound or pomo guys like gaddis and john toole

then there's the /pol/ crowd:

d.w. griffith, lothrop stoddard, dr. william pierce, forrest carter.

but they're partially responsible for the way /pol/ is now, so it might rip the space time continuum to make them participants in movements they inspired

Can't believe no one mentioned the king of r9k, x and pol H.P Lovecraft

>>11512063
>>11511408
>>11513005
None would go on /r9k/ because the /r9k/ is no different than /b/ these days, and is not actually what you think of /r9k/ as being

Émile Zola would be lurking on every board, /lit/ included, gathering most obscure info and making very detailed notes.

And then suddenly he would unleash upon us a 20-novel series on internet subcultures, entitled "Les Incel-/Pol/tards. Natural and social history of an internet under the Anonymous Empire".

>>11514107
underrated post

>>11512806

>you will never see George Orwell and Karl Marx try to argue with Adolf Hitler in a "redpill me on fascist literature" thread

Very embarrassing thread
>>11511408 very embarrassing post

>>11512806
>Dave Wallace
The Chaucer guy?

>>11512835
Robespierre as janitor.
You know he would be one.
Perma-bans for everyone.

>>11513098
/r9k/ still has "feels" threads occasionally but yeah, most of it is spam and garbage.

>>11512063
Joyce would stick on /s4s/

>>11514322
why live?

>>11512806
Imagine the Hitler-Marx banter on /pol/

>>11511101
Franz Kafka would make very serious topics

Tao Lin would shill his books

Graham Greene would be one of those christcucks that are always making Catholicism to try and assert some kind of control over his life

Kierkegaard would post nonstop about nogf on /lit/ and /r9k/

So does Michel Houllebecq

The Greeks were boaring. They had no sense of pace. Bem bem bam.

>>11516386
>So does Michel Houllebecq
i don't!!!!!!

>>11512116
where ?

>>11516501
I'm not going to spoonfeed you, kid. It takes literally one Google search

>>11516386
>Franz Kafka would make very serious topics
"see this lovely lady in your kitchen. what do???"

>>11516386
>Tao Lin would shill his books
>would

>>11511503
>pre Luddite ted
Get yer fucking unabomber deification shit outta here

So, Kierkegaard, Houellebecq and Nietzsche are tfw no gf posters, but who else is one?

>>11511408
you say "would" but it probably actually is

>>11517546
what a scary thought

>>11512134
You got me there bud

I gotta get out of here

>>11511477
Best post. Gay ass board.

He'd be the biggest shitposter sitewide

>>11518836
>that poop smelling homeless person hogging the public library computers all day is a reincarnated Diogenes shitposting on 4chin

Dante would start massive flamewars in the bible discussion threads

>>11511101
Me

>>11516501
https://twitter.com/mhouellebecq/status/1300218632
couldnt find the interview

>>11520255
Isn't this a fake account?

>>11520267
yeah nevermind, I don't think he has a real twitter

verne would be an eternal newfag

russians would spam all boards with putin stronk memes

Mishima
Proust
Kafka
Dostoyevsky
Joyce
Pynchon
DFW
Melville
Goethe
Foucault
Novalis
Rumi
Cervantes
Bataille

>>11511157
It’s a joke with no end.

You just know he would be the worst type of poster

Would try to hack the admin login page daily from a public library and minimize the tab when people walked by his cloud of smoke

me

>>11516512
I asked since I searched and I couldn't find the interview. Now I think you're a liar. The twitter account is a fake btw.

>>11520926
t. American

Search in French you retard

>>11520940
"Houellebecq interview 4chan" works in every language.
Et j'ai cherché en Français connard.

>>11520947
>Using an accent on cherche

confirmed for a retarded american

>>11520909
based

>>11520954
"J'ai cherché". "Cherché" est participe passé de l'auxiliaire avoir, il s'écrit donc ainsi.
Si j'avait dit "je cherche", il n'y aurait pas d'accent, mais l'utilisation du passé composé était plus appropriée que celle du présent.
Now kys retard.

>>11520981
youre just proving his point, but congratulations on your A1 french

>>11520981
I literally can't read this. What are you trying to say? You need to rethink yourself if you think you know French

>>11521367
>>11521377
But I am French

Roald Dahl

>>11511101
pynchon

Four tres two uno

[Will.i.am:]
Listen up y'all 'cause this is it
The beat that I'm bangin' is delicious

[Fergie:]
Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco
They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo
You could see me you can't squeeze me
I ain't easy I ain't sleazy
I got reasons why I tease 'em
Boys just come and go like seasons

Fergalicious (so delicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you were suspicious
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (muah)
That puts them boys on rock rock
And they be lining down the block
Just to watch what I got
(four tres two uno)

So delicious
(it's hot hot)
So delicious
(I put them boys on rock rock)
So delicious
(they wanna slice of what I got)
I'm fergalicious
(t-t-t-t-t-tasty tasty)

Fergalicious def—
Fergalicious def—
Fergalicious def— ["def" is echoing]
Fergalicious definition make them boys go crazy
They always claim they know me
Comin' to me call me Stacy (hey Stacy)
I'm the F to the E R G the I the E
And can't no other lady put it down like me

I'm fergalicious
(so delicious)
My body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness
He's my witness (oh wee)
I put yo' boy on rock rock
And he be lining down the block
Just to watch what I got
(four tres two uno)

So delicious
(it's hot hot)
So delicious
(I put them boys on rock rock)
So delicious
(they wanna slice of what I got)
I'm fergalicious
(hold hold hold hold hold up check it out)

[Vamp:]
Baby baby baby
If you really want me
Honey get some patience
Maybe then you'll get a taste
I'll be tasty tasty
I'll be laced with lacey
It's so tasty tasty
It'll make you crazy

[Will.i.am:]
T to the A to the S T E Y girl you're tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y girl you're tasty
D to the E to the L I C I O U S
To the D to the E to the to the to the
Hit it Fergie

[Fergie:]
All the time I turn around
Brother's gather round
Always looking at me up and down
Looking at my (uh)
I just wanna say it now
I ain't trying to round up drama
Little mama I

>>11511101
Kafka. he would probably not post much though

>>11520954
>>11521367
>>11521377
>lemme tell you about your native language, of which I don't have the slightest grasp
:^)

>>11521377
>I literally can't read this
Funnily enough, I don't speak French at all, and I think I understand like 75% of that sentence (and my native language has nothing to do with French).

The less you know, the better everything works.

>>11518699
>Gay ass board.
it's /lit/, in case you haven't noticed
it's gay ass by definition

Diogenes would probably instigate console wars on /v/ while bullying everyone into buying him games on steam.

>>11511191
>that anon that's been lurking for years and never posts
>if he does, it's a huge text wall in a critique thread and he receives no response
>still does it anyway every now and again