/lit/ - Literature

delete my history

>>10902896

Another day serving the Almighty. He prepared himself as usual, machine-precise: shower. perfectly seamed suit. oatmeal. The real fun began at the office.

Flashing his keycard covered in scratches, wear and peeling lamination, he could hardly still read: JAMES WILTAMUTH, ASSISTANT OBSERVER. He chuckled to himself, the state of his card was sort of like his enthusiasm. "I've been watching this guy for years now" came out of his mouth as he sat in the same chair as yesterday. "You'll get promoted eventually" a voice came from behind. James already knew the confident, charismatic voice; he had no need to even look. "Fuck off, Chad" Chad laughed and sat down in the cubicle next to James, decorated in photos of his wife and children. James turned back to his computer and began to pick away at his keyboard, with the missing 'f' key.


I rarely write but if you guys like it ill continue

>>10902896
>We all have an FBI agent who watches us
Ehh, there's like a team of 4-5 most of the time, though they're more of an internet-wide blacklist team.

They don't have anywhere near the manpower to actually set a single agent to an individual on sites like these, let alone the expanse of the whole internet.

>If the FBI or NSA or whatever other gaggle of gays wants to watch me read and study ancient mythology and archaic magic tomes, a'ight, niggas, you go ahead and get paid to watch me hack/steal/read shit.
>I sincerely hope they pay 100k/yr or some retarded shit if there's anyone watching an autist like me syncretize and bastardize old scanned texts into my own shart-quality fanfic.
>Hell, I hope I get that job. Gib plz. Me love you long time.

>>10902934
Why is the 'f' key missing? Did he press F to pay respects one too many times?

>>10902954
I think of random shit to describe things

>>10902952
shut the fuck up

>>10902952
BAKA. At least believe.

>>10902974
Just saw that

>>10902896

>Be FBI
>watching through webcam
>hands in pants
>gay
>posts op to see what he thinks of me
>says exactly what I'm doing
>puts paper over my webcam
>replies

>>10902984
Have a (You) niggerjew.

>>10903000
Nice trips. Here's one for (You), too, kaikeypoo.

>All y'all mutherfuckers need to stop with the ouija board-ACRONYM shit. They don't give a fuck except when shit goes down. They're more concerned with the civil war that's coming, nowadays. 4chan died years ago.

>>10903012
2spoopy4kaike

agent arnold, you have seen
me
as I really am but
you
I have never really
known

- Rupi Poopi

yall motherfuckers need some kino

>>10903034
why
though?

>>10903039
because
I can.

>>10902896
Glad I'm not the only one. Striving to be a super empowered individual (SEI)

>>10902896
Mr. FBI
Please put in a good word for me when I apply
Thanks,
[Spoiler]redacted[/Spoiler]

Dana Enrique De Paola de Chavez-Leiberman read though the chatlogs again, the headache growing more acute with every line.

"Loving every laugh... He keeps using this one, now. Why isn't he using L.O.L. anymore...?"

IT'S NOT THE FBI IT'S THE NSA STOP THIS FUCKING MEME

I hope you find all this as amusing as I do. What a crazy world we live in, maybe we will meet in the next

>>10903035
Reddit, thanks for stopping by

>>10902934
This is good. Unironically enjoyed it.

Sorry I call so many people "retarded" and "faggot". I merely want the community on this website to improve the quality of its posts. Likewise, any exhortations to suck on a car exhaust pipe or stick one's head in the oven should not be taken as serious encouragement of suicide but are merely used for rhetorical and tongue in cheek effect.

>>10902964
>he doesn't layer meaning into every sentence of his writing

>>10902896

sometimes I notice a grey haired homeless woman
taking notes with her invisible companion
behind those big circle glasses
and the next day I'll see a man in the corner of the cafe
wearing those same spectacles.
I woke up two weeks after the latest sighting
and they were on my bedside table
day 22: Eugene still does not realize that he's one of us

>>10902934
Post more, anon

>>10902896
Reddit needs to leave

>>10902896

Anyone else seen "fbi network watcher"

>>10904945
I've been seeing weird network activity wherever I go and strange vehicles and such ever since I tried to scan a military website for vulnerabilities (without knowing what I was doing)
Could just be schizophrenic ideation

>>10904968
>>10904945

I scanned it bc the connection was insecure or something.

I was already watch listed from Google searching. 'Site.:Mil psyop'
And 100 different variations of that but I assume when I scanned the site and triggered their defense alerts they scrambled the local Boys in blue to watch me for potential terrorism.

Of course, I'm basically crime free, so it's fine. Or I'm saying that for effect. I love the idea of law enforcement watching my every move it makes my orgasms when I fap to ryona and trap porn so much better knowing the government pays someone to monitor me do it

I leave inside jokes in my posts, little gags I have with the FBI

please cut off my porn and 4chan i can't live like this anymore

>>10904198
>thinks shoving 'meaning' into every sentence is a legitimate way to write

do you? LOL!

Sometimes I wonder, when jerking it to a black girl, if the person watching me is a racist

>>10905067
Like what

>>10902896
I love cumming on my webcam, basically giving the agent a facial

>>10902898
There's no point you're just going to look up the same shit again

>>10902896
It bothers me that no matter how many levels of irony I'm on I can't obscure everything/anything from you.

Where's the local office?

>>10902896
Please excuse all the
Hardcore fetish hentai porn
I have been watching.

that shit pisses me off, don't watch me, watch tv, no but for real try stopping a school shooter next time fag

>>10905171
Just figure out your predictable behaviour and make sudden shifts without irony. And don't do it because you feel like it, do it for some aim. Meld the character traits into new rationalisations. Then let them be forced to make themselves know or worse, to make decisions that shows you to higher integrity.

We're all larping now, might as well have fun in the Colosseum.

>both hardcore marxist and alt-right troll

weak posters wanna know why i get TWO agents!

>>10905067
FUCK OFF I KNOW YOU ARE WATCHING

I want a tusundre FBI qt gf so bad.
I would love to watch my agent.
If we ever meet she already knows all the depraved things I'm into from my internet activity

>>10904103
The FBI lobbied for and received a new 24 million dollar building specifically built to process electronic surveillance. At the time of the acquisition, they were only trending at having warrants for about 5% of their capacity. They never justified why they needed to expand their capabilities. The assumption is that they really were engaging in surveillance beyond the warrants that they held and that they wanted still more capacity. It is a fairly safe assumption that a warrant is now only a quaint formality for the FBI as well, especially now that the courts have held parallel construction to be a legitimate endeavor.

>>10905343
>no but for real try stopping a school shooter next time fag
As if that were their job.

>>10905350
lol

>>10905400
if it's not their job why did they "investigate" nicolas cruz before giving him the ok to carry out the false flag?

>>10902934
>if you guys like it ill continue
no need, my friend

As I entered the thread made by a Russian crony, I felt two twinges in my body: one in my muscles, which were hulking and massive from daily care and exercise, and one in my brain, for I knew my anglo genetics provided me with a 150+ IQ to power dodge snake slav tricks.

Agent R saw that Agent V was taking Advil with his coffee again. His shakes were being scrupulously internalized, but the tremors in his hand caused telltale ripples in his coffee cup. Agent R gave him a familiar look,the What was it This Time one,and Agent V looked away and swallowed his pills with a hasty sip.

Midgets. Fucking. Dinosaurs.

Agent R was impressed,and slightly curious. "You mean CGI models or something from your target 's anime collection?" Agent V shook his head.
"Oh no. Something from the 90s. Real girl midgets in barbarian costumes. Guys in rubber suits. Hideously HUGE guys. Where does he find this stuff?" Agent V had a strong stomach before this gig,R knew. He could waltz through a ballroom filled with corpses they said. But he had no shields for...the Strange. "Who makes this sort of thing? Who the hell jerks off to it? Who in the ever living goddamn world wakes up one day and says to themselves,'I want to see a four foot woman in a leopard bikini receiving anal from a RAPTOR' and runs around to make a movie from it?"

Agent R looked past V at his abandoned computer terminal. A chubby dwarf was being spitroasted by a pair of pterodactyls. It was mesmerizing like a bad car crash. He forced himself to turn away,and said to V in a kindly tone,"Tell you what. We know where he is and his activities are being logged,so let's both knock off early and have a few shots at the bar?" V brightened st this. And the both of them hurried away from the sound of ineptly played heavy metal accompanying the screeches of bird monsters and the squelching of bodily fluids.

>>10905369
You idiot they made this thread to watch me.

>>10902896
I just hope he's developed a taste for the same anime girls as me when jerking off.