/lit/ - Literature

1. I don't believe in immortal souls or anything after death, when you stop respiring and your brain stops getting oxygen, stops firing neurons and dies, you die as an organism. Your personality and "soul" at the core being nothing but neurons and chemical hormones.
2. I don't believe jew/greek scribes were blessed by god to write the bible.
3. Sure I believe in a higher power/force which caused its own actuality and created reality/kosmos but I don't think you can say you're closer to being this god if you're kind to people and if you're good to others you'll end up in heaven. I don't understand how any contemporary christian apologists can justify their belief other than something they've desperately tried to fool themselves into believing and it makes them feel happy to be around others who share the same beliefs, truth and virtue in the modern day world.
4. I believe hitler had good intentions, and other than a few outliers (being a little too harsh on the slavs for one) I don't believe he did anything wrong (confronted the JQ, simultaneously dealt with a multitude of other inferiors)

Now I'm startled by these opinions because I come back to them a lot, I know a lot of learned, well-read, intelligent people will think they're incredibly wrong, stupid opinions to have and because I don't have a firm grasp of logic and I'm not intelligent enough I can't believe in anything spiritual, esoteric or theological in general.

What should I read to have the proper opinions? I mean I was baptised as a child, took communion, did confirmation, attended mass until I was 18, I've been read the gospels a lot since I was little, I've read a few of platos socratic dialogues, I've read the KJV Pentateuch, some of the other more literary meritorious books like Job and Ecclesiastes and I've read a few of the church father commentaries. But it just feels like they continuously throw the words; peacefulness, love, humility, compassion, holy spirit and a load of other platitudes that just disgust me at this point.

What should I read then? I think I have the mind of a woman (not in the tranny sense) but in the sense that I don't know what I'm doing and sometimes I'm quite gullible when listening to someones arguments, also I don't know what I enjoy, I'm a brainIet and I don't really know anything and I don't know what I want most of the time.
any help is appreciated