/lit/ - Literature

>>10766078
(You)

>>10766078
i can tell if a piece of toilet paper went up my ass or dropped into the toilet bowl. its kind of spooky but strangely arousing

MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP

i'd been going over a few ideas in my head for so long that i never bothered to write them down because i figured i'd always remember them. but after about two weeks of being preoccupied with something else i've forgotten all but two and even those are far less detailed than they were before.

i fucked up real bad.

>>10766078
Why is working out so hard? Like the actual lifting thing isn't but the whole hussel bustle of the gym is annoying. I can't use all the thing I want to when I want so I have to go to some random machine that works out the same group and being around people that look even better than me sucks

>>10766120
Your brain is good for lots of things but storage is not one of them. Write shit down.

>>10766120
small notepad in back pocket. write even when you don't think you need to. check regularly

>>10766078
Zizek-Peterson Debate, November 2018 (colorized)

>https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GhxSpPjuz_2OGDMgsrLS2Ui24gQFRQvbrlYKwQxSPUI/edit

Currently writing a story which has been on my mind. I actually have the plot outline and I have an idea of what I'm going to do. For once I feel like I might actually finish some shit.

Once upon a time, and a very long time, philosophy (yet untouched by Circulum of Vienna', no coincidence Bismarck warned countless times about "Der Vienna' frage") was controlled for human needs only. Reason? Mere tool, and philosophy was but so, used to better human understanding. Now you got animals trying to out-wit language. I cannot comprehend how great mathematicians, so autistic, practicing Analytic philosophy. It's anti-philosophy.
IQ beyond average, increasing third world external capital funding (Chineses are now 1% of South Sudan's population, look it up), cheap labour, China once again mastered the now. It happened before folks, let's not panic. "You need to back up those claims, because science says, quoting Rationalwiki here, Correlation is not always causation, in fact, it does not even imply causation".
Which isn't wrong, but it's a stupid way of thinking. Many discoveries in science began by seeing correlations, then, a research is done upon the subject and conclusions appear. China was a peasant infested shithole, much different than the neo technical society of now.

Your grandkids are not going to be brown, better yet, they'll be yellow 3 inch shriveled penis thanks huwhitu!!!

>>10766178
>You smell just awful too. Seriously, I think I dropped stinkers in the toilet that smelled better than you. Could sniff you a mile away. Peeeeeeee-Yeeeeeeeew!

>>10766141
grab free weights while waiting for a machine. no weights? do some pushups and situps to increase your endurance and keep your pump. working out isn't hard, you're just a brainlet.

>>10766120
yea you did. write shit down, especially good ideas. this is how actual successful people complete projects. they don't give birth to them whole and complete from their mind.

>>10766078
i'm getting real tired of /lit/. currently watching ken burns civil war, comparing to 2018 and noting possible causes for war. humanity will double in my lifetime. i have no doubt we're going to fight over some dumb shit and these lazy 4chan evenings will be remembered as our salad days.

i love you anon

>>10766193
Sometimes, as bad as it is, I feel like war is the only place people like us could ever find meaning.

>>10766193
I know how to workout you dumb mother fucker, I just hate that when there is no option but to just do an alternative exercise for the same muscle. There's only 1 squat rack in my gym
I just don't like people I the way of my workout, like no one blocks a page of a book with their hand so I enjoy reading because it's isolated

>>10766185
What would you have written instead? Honest question. Character is supposed to be a smartass btw.

gym-goers are the feeblest faggots

>>10766216
i was just to make post about that, instead of tryna swell up like big gay muscle bottom, why don't you just do calisthenics

>>10766197
war is the purest expression of man representing his own rights. we go to war as a part of the state, but the cause that drives us to it is familiar to each man. i hope im prepared when the time comes.

>>10766203
stay mad, leglet. also why the FUCK do you need a squat rack? just clean some fuggin free weights and go to fucking town on that ass. why are you such a weakling goddamn.

Fell in love with an asmr girl.

>>10766223
because calisthenics doesn't make you higher test and doesn't raise HGH, calisthenics will never make you as strong as a linebacker who can press 2 pl8's, calisthenics does not make you release male pheromones that women can pick up, calisthenics will not cause you to have better posture, calisthenics doesn't take the risk or coordination that compound lifts do, calisthenics is the last refuge of people who didn't play sports in HS or are so injured they can't train properly anymore. Show me one sprinter who is not Usain Bolt (who is on drugs) and one NFL safety or Linebacker who does not lift. Show me one Navy Seal who does not lift, show me one private security contractor working for 7 figures a year who does not lift, show me any fucking SWAT team member who is in a dangerou precinct who does not lift. You can't its impossible.

Calisthenics people think they're strong, then you put them under a barbell and they can't move more than 1 pl8 lmao

PATHETIC

>>10766235
women as romantic interests are absolute trash. they are basically children. just leave them where you found them.

>>10766239
Someone put a little too much salt in your margarita, Jocko?

>>10766239
>this is what muscle bottoms actually believe

>muscle betas thinking they're tough until they gas out in 20 seconds and then you beat them into unconsciousness

keep working on your beach muscles homo

Consciousness is a disease. Cognitive poison. I wish I had down syndrome

>>10766239
I did daily 3-5 mile runs, sprints, all body calisthenics including pull ups, stretching and yoga(!), and lifted weights for YEARS. for a while there, twice a day. limiting yourself to lifting exclusively is for soyboys and bugmen. so which are you anon.

>>10766246
but they are so lovely and cruel

i can't think of any ideas for an app to make

>>10766249
go tell this to a college linebacker or strong safety, go tell them you're gonna gas them out while they're drunk see what they do to your skull
>>10766262
>does cardio
yup I do this
>sprints
yes everyone who played real sports does this as a habit to raise HGH
>pullups
wow did you do chinups too? that'll surely make you as strong as barbell rows or curls will right? oh wiat
>limiting yourself
yeah I'm not a brain dead Jason Genova I know not to just lift you stupid nigger

>>10766288
>go tell this to a college linebacker or strong safety, go tell them you're gonna gas them out while they're drunk see what they do to your skull
>this guy's scared of the football team

omg you are such a fucking beta, kys my man

>>10766288
hahaha bro so how many football player dick have you sucked

>>10766292
t. never played sports or was never an elite athlete in HS or college in a sport that wasn't long distance running

>>10766303
>guy still trying to be a high school jock well into adulthood

sad!

i boxed in college, come at me pussy

that lord timon served his flatterers stones and warm water and spoke that mankind could only feed off mankind

>>10766311
>i boxed
wow convenient, a sport predicated on fast twitch reflexes where you can't grapple or choke people out, wow really makes you think man

hey did you ever play football or soccer or basketball in hs or middleschool? did you ever play any sports where sprinting and jumping and tackling were the main function? I'm just curious bro? Btw did you win any titles or were you just boxing man. Its ok man
>>10766299
why are you so scared of athletes dude did they bully you too hard in HS? all my friends played football and soccer so I didn't have a problem with them but maybe they weren't so nice to you? Idk i've noticed people who are afraid of lifting tend to not like football players or sprinters very much its just kind of weird how that is. And they always say funny things like MMA heavyweights don't lift weights when they do and how football players aren't real athletes or that Navy SEALS don't lift when they do which is why they're all fucking huge

but you know you guys are the ones fixated on homoeroticism I just like being strong and running really fast and being able to dunk a basketball and all that fun stuff. Idk why your'e so bothered lol

>>10766319
if you were really a high school hero you wouldn't be such a bugman, lmao a long with all those 'pheromones' you're also emitted strong beta vibes

I have an idea for a character who's extremely sensitive and empathetic but embraces a doctrine of total Darwinian domination based solely on aesthetics -- causing great suffering but feeling great remorse, affirming the tragic worldview by adopting a set of beliefs that bring him constant internal strife

Does this sound gay or could it work

>>10766332
maybe idk what does domination based on aesthetics mean

>>10766332
he sounds like a faggot to be honest. Kind of sounds like Ozymandius from Watchmen

>>10766319
so you're telling me you sucked the whole team wow anon that takes some real stamina you sure are an athlete

>>10766332
i dig it. there's potential for a character arc. eventually this guy is going to have to reckon himself and his past actions.

>>10766327
wow you really are full of ressentiment
>>10766352
are you still mad you didn't get to start on varsity? did Chad fuck your gf or something bro? why are you so mad about athletes lifting weights dude? they just want to look good and be strong why are you bullying men of power? they're not going to bully you again man, HS is over dude

>>10766371
but they still bully you at the gym, when you're using the rack they just swagger on over and take your spot, i guess all that lifting doesn't grow your balls

>>10766382
just-started-lifting beta anon btfo permanently (2018, colorized)

>>10766371
pic, it's (You)

>>10766171
underrated

>>10766395
do u not remember this how this whole thing started, you were too beta to claim the rack, so i told you to skip the gym and go do calisthenics in the park instead of loitering in some soy gym, then u started larping some betakids fantasy of being a high school jock

>>10766141

lel

Had a dream I kissed a girl last night
I wish I had a girlfriend

>>10766430
having a gf is like having a second job, overrated

>>10766382
>he doesn't have a home gym
being poor sucks doesn't it?
>>10766402
you seem like you have something you want to say or come out about? have you ever seen Dominated by Doug? i think you would like that a lot anon

>>10766433
wait, so guys come into your home gym and takeover you equipment? are you really trying to keep this larp going? ur the guy angry that you can't buy test like a dyke in the tranny thread aren't you? you veins pump soy, nothing can save u

>>10766443
>doing roids without being a professional athlete or fitness model
basically a subhuman man, why are you trying to juice up because your calisthenics warmups aren't getting your gf's attention? is she asking to explore her sexuality with other males, did you offer to participate and she just won't accept? Like I said, men with your problems, Dominated by Doug is an illuminating watch, pure psychological thriller, Dionysian and Apollonian all at once

>>10766450
haha you are such a pussy man

>>10766078
A big part of a mans place in a womans heart and her eros, is a mans ability to defend himself and fight. She is looking for protection, the ability to manage conflict and strength to rely on in crisis. If any given man is able to enter into the execution of violence, he will be 5 times stronger in any competition than a man that cannot, in love and business and any given social situation that may require it.

The ability to implement violence means a mans tolerance for conflict is naturally attenuated to be on the higher level, and most assuredly greater than hers, in regards to the world at large. The meshes very nicely with the protection vibe. However this here is the source of much of the shit testing women do. They are testing his backbone. They are also testing the mans temperament. They are looking for some sweet spot between vicious and kind. This benefits her because she can call on you to advocate in her stead should the need come up, she is testing if she can rely on you to keep the meanies away. This is a much more active part of violence but still doesn't require the use of violence, just conflict management in general. I prefer to call this class of conflict 'psychic violence' and it is my growing opinion that most women are not willing to even absorb the most mild of psychic violence. It's possible that more insecure a girl is the harder she will test for this.

>>10766078

I fucked up so bad when I was sixteen. That girl. I lacked initiative. I let her down. It broke her and I will never have the opportunity to say sorry. She was paradise and I let her walk into hell.

I pray for god to exist because there is no punishment good enough on this earth.

>>10766246
If you don't desire the sweet pain only a beautiful woman can deliver, you're just not a man of culture and I don't respect your opinion on anything.

>>10767772
>tfw this could've been me, but my 16 year old sweetheart was smart enough to push me away until we were old enough for eachother and now we've never been so happy
>literally stress out about what could've not been every single day

I'm sorry, alternate universe me. But it had to be one of us.

>>10767746
Is this an original piece of writing? I'm into your ideas and work if so my man.

I cant stop jizzing on my gfs yoga pants and I cant stop quoting movies at really inappropriate times.

all these parallels I'm noticing between my life and my brother's is aggravating. it's motivation to either kick things into overdrive and get my shit together or kill myself and get it over with, because I don't want to end up like him.

one day video games will be art

>>10766235

Nothing fundamental to love is fundamental to you.

>>10767858
They are art. They're just not good art.

>>10767858
>implying anyone would want to sit through a monologue of just a human being spewing forth his innermost thoughts and fears

not art
entertainment

>>10767842
children from abuse tend to turn out the same.
get things together anon

>>10766181
Did you just hit the automatic word suggestion box on your phone over and over again?

I've been writing for nearly 20 years and I haven't been able to finish a single story. I'm getting really goddamn fucking desperate here. There are people who churn out fucking 100k fanfictions consistently, and I can't write 30k of ANYTHING. I don't know how long I can keep doing this anons.

>>10767937
>I haven't been able to finish a single story
>I've been writing for nearly 20 years

no you haven't.

>>10767937
You're afraid of letting the story turn to shit and it's stopping you from finishing it. You need to let it go to shit first then rewrite it.

>>10766233
>war is the purest expression of man representing his own rights
No it is more like thousands of pants shitters being put in the way of hot lead by richer men. Why waste your life like that?

>>10766078
I need to get a JAHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

>>10766148
no, if you're constantly sitting on a lopsided bump, that can fuck up your back. Notepad in front pocket friendo.

Imagine finding yourself at a crossroads in the country. Infinite potential lies beyond down each path, yet you can't convince yourself to have the courage to step out into any direction. From where you stand, each horizon at every direction looks like the same flat line stretching out endlessly yet the possibility that you'll make the wrong choice is still paralyzing. The choice seems simultaneously meaningless and irreversibly critical. You don't know if you'll even reach it anyways so throw in pointless too. The only path you know you will never take is the one behind you because you know exactly the pain that waits for you there.

They are coming for you and that fear overtakes all others. After all, you know exactly the pain that waits for you there. You take a breath and let your foot guide you. The further into your journey you go, the easier each step will be supposedly. You will never find out because someone in a truck just ran you over in its own unceasing devotion to its own path.

>>10767987
usually put it in my jacket pocket.

but still, good looks anyway

I'm a vegan

I havent jerked off to porn in 83 days. I have been able to be more confidant socially and given me more energy, and I don't have a particular desire to even masterbate but GOD DAMN AM I HORNY. Too bad it seems impossible to actualy start a relationship with any woman i see because I live in a rural area and there aren't great places to meet and talk to women.

>>10767968
Mmm. You got me, cocksucker.

i have frequent nightmares in which i get whacked by Tony Soprano and Silvio. what did i done to deserve this? the last time i saw this show was years ago

>>10767972
That could be. I just always feel like I run out of steam. Lately I've been able to write more, longer, 30-50 pages instead of 2-5, but I always just... get tired. It's like I start with a synopsis and try to reverse engineer a whole story out of it, but I can't.

>>10768022
Any tips on how to quit?

I'm ugly as sin, poor and I managed to a qt gf. You can do it too.

>>10768242
T B H

You probably underestimate how much of a lil cutie you are, anon. I was ugly as a teen but got cute later, still saw myself as ugly, others didn't.

I don't know what to do with myself,
I'm not ambitious, have low self esteem, no skill.
I'm scared of what will come.
What to do, fellas?

>>10768275
I'm not posting my pic here but trust me, I'm definitely ugly.

I want to get fit and strong and beautiful but everything online about bodyweight/weight routines and nutrition is confusing as fuck and there's a million different opinions

I want the most optimal plan

>>10768242
How did you meet her?

>>10768349
Be a computer guy

>>10768501
Unironically the one you make for yourself is the most optimal. There's only the most suitable for you since although there is a good baseline, you grow differently compared to anyone else.

>>10768352
Personally I have no doubt that you're ugly, I just also don't trust your judgement regarding supposed qts.

at this point all i want is a njg and death

>>10768530
Pof

>>10766078
I remember some guy on 4chan was making his gf do squats so she could get a big butt. That's pretty hot. Imagine forcing your lazy unfit gf to do squats everyday and having her come in all sweaty and tired from the workout and crying a little from the pain but nevertheless having a sizeably larger butt and feeling a little embarrassed about it.

>>10768777
You won't get either, but at least you have those digits

>>10768888
nice

>>10766212
I wouldn't have written something as dumb as that in the first place. He's not being a smartass he's just making a trite comparison to his bowel movements that any freshman could come up with, if you are going to be an smartass, you have to actually be funny, the only thing worse is the cerebral bowel movement that brought such a pathetic character to life.

>>10768242
You can't when your destiny is against you, like mine. I feel trapped

>>10768275
>Used to be attractive in HS
>Didn't fuck any of the qts who clearly wanted my dick because I was a depressed autist who kept avoiding people and spent most of my teenage years shitposting on 4chan and playing videogames
>Grow up to be an ugly adult
>Still autistic but now no one is interested in me
Should I just end it?

>>10766193
>grab free weights while waiting for a machine. no weights? do some pushups and situps to increase your endurance and keep your pump. working out isn't hard, you're just a brainlet.

Just started lifting?

Tell me about some of the dreams you've had. Today I had a dream where I turned the gravity by 90 degrees, so that right was the new down. It didn't feel as cool as I thought it would. I also dreamed of having sex with my friend, whom I don't really like like that in real life. I didn't feel anything either, other than sticky fingers.

>>10768998
I had a dream that I violently murdered a girl that I used to go to junior high with

I dont hate her, I don't love her, I don't even care about her at all. She's kind of cute I'd definitely sleep with her if I had a chance though

I remember it was sexual. I lost control completely, I don't remember the act of doing it, only it was brutal and I was ecstatic. It was as if I became a beast, there was blood everywhere, and bones. I remember me standing over what was left of her, looking at her pale thighs and mushy flesh

An 18 year old woman kept stirrig in her seat, tugging on the oversized sleeves of her turquoise pullover in between the slow note taking about a particularly boring episode of our nation's history. The large puffy sleeves gave her a youthful girlish appearance, but it was cropped so short that every time she raised her arms or leaned foreward a black tattoo of a rose would be revealed. Small coils of spade shaped leaves and thorns surrounding the flesh colored flower would unfurl right above her left hip each time she stretched her stomach taut. The petals were pocked with goosebumps in coquettish bloom. I sat in the back of the classroom and peaked around to make sure nobody was looking - God, I wanted to fuck all these little sluts so bad - she moved around her thick ass on the chair, the cheap fabric of her yoga pants flexing impossibly. This was surely against the dress code, but nobody reported that stuff anymore. The shitty movie ended and I went back up the front and turned on the light, "alright, that'll be all for today, remember to read Chapter 12 in the book." I grabbed a piece of chalk and underlined the homework and counted the kids as they left, Katya's ass looked as if it would burst through it's cheap Chinese restraints, she pulled down her pullover one last time and peaked around to say goodbye - shit! Did she see me? Whatever, she knows exactly what she's doing, the little slut!

>>10768998
I dreamt something sex, I woke up to myself cumming, I had to wash up before school, I have been trying not to masturbate, but now I think is all sex and these whores all dress like little sluts. I don't want to write nasty fiction. I want to fuck.

I once dreamed of an Arab or Turk who tried to keep me out of the kitchen, it was vaguely conmected to my lack of Visa application. He attacked me with a butcher's knife when I tried to push through, he was large and I woke up defending myself.

I also dreamed that I did not babysit a family child, and I dumped out the titty milk that was in the fridge to play videogames.

These have been in the last month or so. There have been more if you want them.

I've stopped falling in love, is that a good or bad thing /lit/? I've not made a significant change in my behaviour who might've caused it.

So tired of everything at the moment, it always feels like I'm just barely treading water in my life.

I can notice my mother is aging and that troubles me. She's turning 50 this year.

>>10769293
This. Nothing ever comes easily to me, and doing the most basic fucking things are always such a big deal. Most normal people wouldn't even think twice about such easy things, though.

>>10766109
Nice

>>10768989
Hitler>Merkel

>>10769617
I was going to make a joke about how Hitler managed to do destroy Germany in 12 years and Merkel has the time but I looked it up and she's been chancellor for thirteen years now
wtf germany how is this allowed

>>10768101
I also quit it (although I fucking watched it today, damn it) but you just have to do it...there's no other way. Just go and masturbate to your imagination. Use dirty fetishes or whatever helps you.

It helps so much you have no idea.

Two years ago, I was an angsty
>tfw to intelligent for society
type person. I grew to hate this

Last year I worked hard to try to be a normal person, throwing off some of my pretentious habits in the process. I grew to hate this.

Now I'm basically back to the first stage, but hopefully a bit wiser. I suppose now I may as well go full dialectic and create a synthesis of my experiences.

>>10767913
We weren't abused

>>10769741
one is the all

how come fags are always quitting porn ( a manly passtime) but i never see anyone giving up anime (a child's interest) if u dudes wanna be masculine so bad why not give up the most childish stuff first

>>10766078
I can't spell ledable englsh. I falled evre spelling test in grade skoll and thay told me it was a disablaty and I could naver liren how to wite. ( I was alredy dignostd with autesum.) I naver knuw a livf outsied of skoull so this defekt became a core part of my idenaty. to this day I live in sham over the fact I can't spall my full name. Without my vane atemts ta witeing literature, my life woud have no perpase. I sragrl to miss spell words clos enaf for me to be able to read it lit alone have spllchac make it preantabe. I need spesh to text sorftwer to feel vagly humen, but I haet myself for it.

This defact has damd me to the loer drags of humanaty.

I desrv deth.

how am I going to regain that $120 I spent on the wrong textbook

>>10770708
you can't just pirate it? Textbooks are a total racket.

>>10770708
Explain the situation and ask for a refund?

>just finished In Search of Lost Time

wtf I hate women and gays and the aristocracy now
seriously I want to kill myself

>>10770697
I legitimately knew a guy with this same disability back in college. He had to go to the testing center for spelling help on everything. He would send me texts like "Bea thare suun, to blaks awyy".

>>10770712
I am not a criminal.
>>10770714
Thanks. Might try this.

>>10770697
You should actually write. I'm serious. Write a novel and explain your situation to the publishers. I guarantee it will get published.

>>10770708
>120 dollars for a textbook
Burgers.jpg

my job is going to kill me. my heart pounds half the day. jolts of adrenaline. a whirlwind of anxiety and anger and frustration. I can't take it. I can't take stress at all. . when the phone rings I jump. it's like I'm afraid of everything

>>10770845
Only 40 more years, then you can read all the books your failing eyes can handle

>>10770834
I did it for the first volume of Mary Boyce "History of Zoroastrianism". Fight me

>>10770862
if I keep this up I'm gong to have a heart attack at 35... no 40 years

>>10770697
By the way I only confessed about by spelling problem because I'm kind of drunk tonight.

>>10770726
I'm pretty sure they call it "dyslexic dysgraphia." something I find curious is that I never found a disability where it was impossible to learn english spelling, just that it made it difficult. This makes me wonder if I should sue my school district, not that it would win me a worthwhile future.
And yes, I defaulted back to using speech dictation software. I feel overwhelming disgust when I have to look at my own misspellings. it has its own problems though as I have to waste a lot of time scrutinizing the output and making corrections. Writing becomes slow either way.

I've been considering paying out the nose for tutoring to try to improve my spelling but I'm not sure how much I will improve if I do.

>>10770823
I don't want to be like Temple Grandin where my claim to fame is a defect. I'm currently writing two different books one is simply a collection of myths and legends eye makeup based off of wall cat memes and whatever stories I think cats would tell each other if they could use the internet, the other is a "fuck you" to Temple Grandin people who like her. I feel that modern culture romanticizes life with a disability too much part of my intention with the book is to lure them in with a title that sounds very motivational and leed them down a rabbit hole of my very own lab-grown lol cow.

I'm also working on a fantasy setting on the side loosely based off of Friedrich Nietzsche, Carl Jung, my general love of mythology, some of my personal beliefs and love of goofy genre shock and videa.

>>10766256
Why wish you had Down's when you could do one better and wish you were never born? It is a great thought.

>>10766332
Would read the absolute shit out of that, please do it

>>10770938
That sounds like the Secret of Nimh.

>>10771035
vegans are lame as fuck

It has been a while since I have felt alive. I was in a groove, and was thrown off of it recently. I am slowly getting back into my groove, but my old ways are slowly creeping back in and I don't like it. I make decent money but it's all freelance. So I'm always worried these offers will stop coming my way.

>>10771048
yeah i had two or three super product years recently but right now i'm dead in the water, idk how to get started back up, i think i'm too comfortable, maybe i need to move to a new place in a new neighborhood just to snap me awake, move to some where super cheap in a sketchy hood

One summer not long ago, the time came when I could no longer hide from my father my rampant abuse of alcohol and many other drugs. Weeks later, when his initial rage had subsided, we sat together on a bench by a lake in the town where I lived, discussing the various problems I had brought upon myself, the hole I had dug for myself. Eventually he said to me:
I just don't get it. You claim to be so health-conscious when it comes to what you eat (I was, at the time, living a vegan lifestyle). Yet you smoke a pack a day, drink yourself to the point of blacking out every single night, and do whatever drugs come your way. How does this make sense to you?
I responded simply:
Meat doesn't get you high.
My father, a product of the 60s/70s South Bronx, who had ingested copious amounts of cocaine and quaaludes in his day, could only nod while gazing into the distance with a knowing look.
At the end of our talk he told me:
Today begins a new chapter for you. Ten years from now, by which time I'll surely be gone, I want you to return to this spot and remember this conversation.
This was nearly three years ago. It has been just about a year since the last time we spoke.

the dialogue is obviously heavily edited, but the situation and spirit of the conversation is 100% true

>>10771057
vegans are lame af

>>10771064
Thank you for your feedback, anon-friend

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really the greatest rapper alive but am too afraid to drop a mixtape in fear of being gunned down by the industry goons. My rhymes are on par with lil xan, lil peep, and, of course my all time favorite, lil pump. There isn't much more I can say. Cocaine and bitches are all i want and somehow i have this inner feeling like i deserve them. like a lot of them. like a whole pyramid of cocaine and a whole pyramid of strippers greasing through each others arm to get to the top where my dick hangs while I'm held up by a crane where my nose is positioned right over the pyramid of powder. Forever soaking in the pleasures of both. That's the dream. That's world i demand. yet why do rappers have to make gun sounds on their songs? any suggestions /lit/

I sometimes wish I could just not feel anything but I know rationality is a fucking meme too.

>>10771091
this was mediocre up until the gun sounds shit then i was like lollll

>>10770972
I'm actually quite fond of that movie, although I haven't watched it in sometime.

I was inspired to write a series of cat myths when I was assigned to write a creation myth in a school project back in college. I wrote a creation myth involving cat memes because it was the first thing that came to mind. I stumbled upon it years later and I was surprised I was able to write something that was so cute and funny so I said about writing more. I currently plan on the book having a forward or introduction where I describe how I stumbled upon an entire dark web of people's pet cats shitposting and complaining about their food bowl being half empty and bragging about birds and rodents they caught. Something about that concept I just love. It screams pre Tolkien fantasy. Something magical and whimsical that actually exists beneath the surface of are own contemporary world, and unlike Harry Potter, involves technology. It's several notes of a kind of fantasy I'm interested in writing.

By the way I try to maintain the idea that these cats are only semi intelligent. Smart enough to use the internet to complain about their food bowl being half empty but not smart enough to fully understand what humans do. For example, I'm working on the assumption that these cats think all the lol cat memes are true.

Now that I mentioned all of this, it sounds a lot like Secret of Nym. Maybe I should re watch that movie sometime.

I wish I was born too thousand years ago

>>10771194
Edgy

I have a fat fetish, and when I was younger it would occasionally take odd forms. For example, I used to love to play video games where the weight of the main character was subject to fluctuation, like Fable and Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. I would slowly and deliberately exploit the weight gain mechanic in those games, gradually fattening the character as I played them, until they hit their maximum weight. This long process usually ended with me jerking off.

>>10767858
sweetie, the word art became useless about 3000 years ago. everything is art. nothing is art.

>>10768888
karma for clever reparte

>>10766171
kek

>>10768352
just become a rich asshole then

>>10766078
Sex.
I should have banged that cute little hitchhicker. I could tell she was trying to be all seductive and shit. Behind the clumsy small talk there was so much electricity in the air. I was fully erect and dismissing it. She was probably on her way to meet a guy her age, judging from the heavy make up and I'm old enough that I could be her dad, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have minded. The child car seat in the back was like a big no-no, but sometimes you just know. I love my wife tho.

>things essential to being a respectable man
1. work ethic
2. physical fitness
3. control over emotions
4. taking initiative
5. solving problems
6. self-confidence
7. a big family

>me
1. lazy
2. fat
3. weepy and whiny
4. passive
5. easily confused and prone to giving up
6. self-aware
7. forever alone

I failed you dad.

>>10771610
you did the right thing, anon

12 Rules for Life is a very good book

>>10771626
thank you, femanon

I hate weebs. I hate manchildren. When I see them, I want to smash their faces and shit on them.
On Sunday I ask Lord to forgive me for that.

>>10771615
>I failed you dad.
no you didn't
first step in problem solving is to define the problem
t. dad

>>10771634
damn
that girl could be so cool if she wasn't such a hamplanet

>>10771634
so like do you go into the confessional and go:

"Forgive me, Lord, for I want to sin. Yesterday I saw some filthy weeaboos, and I sincerely wanted to run them over with a combine harvester after I fucked that chick dressed as Miku."

>>10766078
>write whats on your mind

Well, look at Abraham and Jesus (assuming a historical Jesus existed) and Muhammad, and Buddha, and so on.

These guys had huge, identity-defining ideas that echoed up centuries. Regardless of whether they were actually in god's ear (in the case of the first three), they had enormous, trans-human, trans-reality ideas.

What I wonder is, what's the strike rate for that? Is it 100% of people who have ideas that big have them turn into religions? How many people have had huge, world-shattering ideas that COULD have become global religions, but didn't share them? How would we recognise a new one of equal magnitude?

I don't like /pol/ shitting up the board and trying to make a lot of the discussion inherently political. I came here for discussion on books and shitposting about them, not le jews

>>10771685
I'm with you.
I'm mostly interested in fucking tho.

Im hungry

>>10771738

>>10770565
I don't need to quit anime because I never started it in the first place

>>10766431

Underrated post.

I started reading Oblomov but 10 pages in I had to stop and go do something else. The resemblance between me and Oblomov was too striking and I got ashamed.

The last few days have been very hard for me. Anxiety attacks, hypochondria, depression, feeling lost amd defeated. Im back to zero once more. I wanna go home and sleep. But I cant.

My gf wants me to operate my phimosis, she's pissed never did anything about it. The guilt I'm feeling from this neglect is crushing me to bits

My gf wants me to operate my phimosis, she's pissed that I never did anything about it. The guilt I'm feeling from this neglect is crushing me to bits

I wonder if I gave myself PTSD by being a pessimistic past-obsessed neurotic.

>>10772215
I've felt like shit too. Keep going.

From a young age I've been quiet uncomfortable with my conception of self. If I look into a mirror and realize that I am looking at myself I grow very, very uncomfortable.

>>10771169
Please post it here when you finish it/updates or whatever, one of the most original best ideas i've heard in a long time.

>>10766078
I hate America, but no where else seems much better off.

how do i make sci-fi fantasy technology real, with ease?

>>10766078
I want to ask this qt and smart Christian girl at work out but I only ever see her at work and I think asking people out at work or through text is wrong.

>>10766078
It's so cold, like that chicken I bought yesterday, lifeless piece of meat. But its my grandmas leg, still attached to her, part of a human being. But it feels dead, bad blood flow, part of getting old, inevitability of life. Her eyes still open, still looking around, more and more detached everyday, empty like a newborns, on a wrinkly excuse of a human. I hate touching it, feet became a bloody mess, nails hurting toes, cold blood on my hands must change patch. Expression of physical pain twists her sour face, the only emotion left to her, judges me, im really doing best I can. What for, so when she evenrtually dies, we can pat our backs and say we did everything to acomodate her? So we can have a couple of weeks of her agony to witness. "If we put her in a senior home she will be dead within weeks, I saw that on tv!". She would thank us for it, if it was true. Now the fucking diaper.

>>10773482
Ask her out at work you fuckin dip

Started writing an outline of the structure of an idea I've been toying with

Never tried writing before so never done this

Holy fuck its agonising
THE IDEA IS PURE IN MY HEAD DUE TO THE FACT ITS FRACTURED BUT WHEN I TRY TO PIECE IT TOGETHER ITS TRASH

I've quit wanking and porn for just over a week and my libido has now completely collapsed. Have absolutely no sexual urges to contend with. I'm assuming this is just my body adjusting to a slightly healthier state, but does anyone have any past experience of this?

>>10772621
I posted one of them in the critique general months ago and it got hardly any response. and I think a lot of citizens just glossed over it. I'll set up a piece pin account for sharing first drafts short-term. I don't get nearly as much written as I would like partially out of not being conscientious enough but also because my poor spelling creates an extra layer of work.

Also, Akko is like a totem to me. I sometimes feel better about myself thinking about how this character keeps working towards her dream and self-improvement even when people around her remind her that she is a failure and a living disaster. that plot twist in your the end of the anime Mimi relate to her more than I normally would to any anime girl.

She's not my waifu, that would be Futaba from Persona 5 but I only do the waifu thing ironically. Its kind of cheating though because Futaba is almost what I would be if I was a cute anime girl. Even her two personas are a good match for me. I find it all kind of eerie but I feel I think desire to buy merchandise of barely legal cartoon girls for once in my life.

>>10771615
>a big family
completely optional

Why do good dreams have to end? Why does reality rip my hopes away from me at every opportunity? I dreamt of my oneitis. I dreamt of developing an actual relationship with her. I dreamt of being in her intimate presence. But then I had to wake up, and I had to realize that she is far away now, and I will never see her again. I can try to forget about her but the dreams haunt me.

>>10775046
relatable as fuck

was literally about to post a mopey oneitis rant when i saw your post

>>10774449
Don't worry. It'll come back.

>>10772525
So this is the power of the uncircumcised...

>>10768349
Be my girlfriend

>>10771615
>work ethic
Capitalist spook.

>physical fitness
Ok.

>control over emotions
Stoicism is retarded.

>taking initiative
Ok.

>solving problems
Ok.

>self-confidence
Self-help capitalist spook.

>a big family
Not necessary.

>>10770565
Pornography is actually a very childish past-time. The only people who should be watching porn are children who are first discovering sex and have unquenchable curiosity. Real men will have their own women to have sex with, instead of relying on porn for pleasure. Now excuse me while I jerk off to my Chinese cartoon pornography.

>>10771652
I was thinking about that these days. I fear the fact that i'll be forgotten in a hundred years or so, so i sometimes fantasize about creating a major religion just so people would remember me like 3000 years from now.

>>10770565
Porn is more of a bored, lonely person's pastime than anything. Also I've found people most concerned with how "manly" or "childish" they are invariably are least emotionally mature person in the room.

>>10775247
>The only people who should be watching porn are children

>>10775228
Articulate a mode of productivity that will facilitate the maintenance and perpetuation of an increasingly logistically complex society that contains neither the word "work" or "ethic". Even if you want to do something as simple as eat a mango in North America, that involves thousands of gears that all need to be operating correctly and productively to get it from start to finish in such a way that it doesn't spoil or cost exorbitant amounts of money.

>>10775360
Libertarian communism

>>10775360
technology will inevitably usher in a utopian era where none of that matters. assuming everything goes smoothly.

I got a list of fuckin problem and you're gonna hear about them

A) Ragtime Zelda is not as I remembered it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhRBGCS8mlc
B) Upset on weird level I can't place that i don't whistle Ragtime Zelda more often?
C) Provisional typology of perspectives in pornography: FIrst person of guy, First person of girl, Third person of "Objective, what is happening, external view of the act as a totality." First of all I myself will never be able to organically embody all three of these while inhabiting the first (the guy) as a focal point, and second, and worst of all, any girl I fuck will definitely never be able to embody all three as perspectives while inhabiting the feminine as focal point. What is the point of sex if it isn't conceptualized in the concrete and fully brought into the light of reason's understanding?
D) Pen stains on pants

>>10775366
But it still involves "work ethic," unless you want, as I am challenging you, to find a new assembly of words to express that concept (which we all fundamentally understand the implication of when it is said) that somehow or other is not a "spook", is more succinct, yet also more elaborate.

>>10775386
That doesn't sound utopian at all.

>>10766078
I like this board. It's interesting. This and a sudden interest in poetry got me back into reading.

>>10775400
I'm not the other guy. You do know what an "ethic" is, don't you? The capitalist work ethic and the libertarian communist "work ethic" are very different things; the latter doesn't rest on principles so much as desires.

>>10775403
>optimized solar energy provides as much power as i need
>replicator makes me a perfect mango smoothie anytime i want
>replicator maintenance provided by wall-e or some shit
>spend all day fuckin ur girl an eatin mango
sounds pretty utopian to me bro

>>10775228
>>work ethic
>Capitalist spook.

>He thinks you don't have to work under communism
Gulags for you friendo

>>10775445
This can only last so long before a robot uprising. You cannot restrict what ought to be free beings.

>>10775469
Who said anything about communism?

>>10775486
>tool uprising
better throw out your hammer and sickle bro they might uprise on you

>>10772525
just get it looked at dude, chances are your frenulum is too short and you might not even need a full circumcision, it was this way for me

>tfw have a gf now
>tfw she's beautiful

I feel compelled to write a poem about her. Immortalize her in verse, you know?

>>10776043
she's taking a shit right now and every time you have been with here there was shit in her bowels rocking and rolling around and slishing and sloshing about and she was all the while suppressing a violent fart composed of spinach and eggs.

>>10776043
please don’t

>>10776047
Anon all you're doing is making me harder.

>>10776047
*SSNIIIIFFFF*
exquisite

>>10776047
is knowing a woman poops really a turnoff?
you are the beautiful ones

I love baseball. I haven’t read book in half a year. I’m really happy. Sports are really better than literature.

>>10769022
ew dude

>>10766078
I'm bored, can't get a job because of crippling fear of failure so I sit in my room watching youtube videos all day and saving porn to hard drive in a pathetic attempt to acomplish something.

>>10776160
what on earth do you expect to accomplish by saving porn to your hard drive

>>10771169
I wrote a creation myth too. but for fun. I love it.

>>10776210
in case the internet is out u can still fappit, every guy has to have a least a little porn stashed for emergencies

I hate people who say society can’t understand them. I am diagnosed with sociopathy and I know society won’t understand my thoughts, thus I fear what society will do to me. Other people just say “oh my struggle can’t be comprehend I need pills” and then they accessorize themselves in a ridiculous manner, which gets accepted and thus society understands you. I have to act like everyone else because if I say my honest thoughts to anyone besides my psychologist ( he can’t prescribe me meds) I would be institutionalized. Yeah yeah people could also say I’m an edgelord here I don’t really care

>last night spent the evening talking with qt for 7 hours
>We're having a great time getting fake deep with each other
>3 am and she wants to go home
>time to seal the deal and ask her out
>finally ask her to go out with me on Friday
>"I'll think about it anon"
>Realize she doesn't want to go
>Start to walk home
>Immediately after it starts pouring down rain

God must have a sense of humor

>>10776043
i bet she smells nice

>>10777786
>talked for 7 hours

don't tell me you chitchatted some poor co-worker's ear off all shift and then to add insult to creepy-guy injury you inflicted an unwanted advance? wow beta much?

why does everyone hate the whites so much? they seem nice

the more philosophy I read the more I realize it's all bullshit ramblings of self-assured assholes and the only difference is later ones reference earlier ones

>>10778617
this guy gets it! the philosophy fags need to get their own board and fuck off

>>10778616
dystopia, delete this

>>10778616
They’re not as nice when they call you racial slurs

>>10778632
that's what i'm talking about, ppl see a white and they get deranged, whiteophobic much?

When will the last breath of air breach my lungs? When will I walk my dog for the last time?
How will I die? How will I check my finances while living my life peacefully?
How is my family?

On christmas eve I remember laying in bed waiting for santa to come, and then he would put on his pants and give me my presents

>>10768101
Pray. Either there is a god or your mind is weak enough (or strong enough) to convince you something is working.

>>10768101
Some things you can do to change habits is ask yourself if it helps you or not, and think about the good and bad things with it.

For examples it feels good to do something, but the bad thing is this pleasure also ends and you are not satisfied. It might also not feel good in the long run, so does heroine (or whatever) really feel good when you consider the consequences?

Just consider if it's good or bad. If you're convinced it's bad, then your addiction or habit isn't pleasurable, it's a punishment and self-flagellation.

>>10770697
stop posting lain

>>10768998
I stayed in bed for 25 hours over the past day, most of it sleeping, some just staring at the wall unable to muster the energy to get up. I can't remember all of the dream, but essentially it was as if I was in a theme park in some semblance of the afterlife.

there were also segments where it felt like I was in a video game. I remember climbing a ladder which made me feel as if I were inside a first person shooter, a sort of mix between the original half life and a location I can't quite place. anyway the main antagonist of the dream was a grim reaper ringmaster type guy. he was "killing" people around me, but for some reason never me.

by the end of the ordeal I was stood side by side with him looking at the other people, and they were scared

it's too much of a coincidence that they only recently invented the computer.

>>10767746
>>10767842
>>10767937
>>10766120

sounds interesting

>tfw you take the Epicurean redpill

holy shit i just closed my Apple Watch move ring by furiously shitposting! i probably need like 5 more calories or something

>>10766078
I never wrote anything worth it, I'm starting with the greeks, loving Stoicism, today I fucked my gf and she was in her period, I don't have a problem with that and I made her feel good with herself.

I'm glad I started with the greeks, it's been a fun and fascinating ride so far

>>10780063
>Stoicism
>dude, like, i have no emotions lol
>im, like, so Zen bro

>>10780241
ok?

>tfw recruiter sends u job opening but u suspect it's a sting to catch people who posted politically incorrect things on 4chan

my paranoia is killing my life

>>10766109
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Df7fObNOeo

aww shit niggy 12am friday morning, new shit on apple music, what will be released this week, let me begin sorting through the 10 generic rap albums, 3 washed up indie bands from ten years ago tryna come back, and 2 country crooners no one near the ocean cares about to find the one thing that doesn't suck

>>10766078
I wounder when I'll get over my ex and start moving on with my life. I wonder when I will be able to focus clearly and calmly

>>10766141
Work out in your house. Just get free weights and dumbbells that's all you need. Then do push-ups to work your chest since bench pressing alone is dangerous. You don't even need a weight bench desu

>>10766078
BRAP

>>10781149
watch out that kid will start larping as a navy seal and call u a soy

>>10781147
that's why i'm not that into chicks any more, it's just too much of a distraction for really nothing of value, if i need an orgasm i can wack it, and if i need to sperg on some shit i read i'll just shitpost it here

>>10781116
people actually look forward to new music on a weekly basis? shiiiit. personally i just listen to popol vuh on loop and call it a night.

>>10775360
the gears dont really have to be operating correctly and productively. people drop crates full of mangoes by accident in warehouses all the time. floods happen, entire crops are lost. prices get jacked up, prices fall. there are fallbacks and fallbacks for fallbacks. you'll get your precious mangoes. a modern city in america couldnt run out of food if it tried.

>>10781206
also the market forces give incentives to anyone who wants to step up and deliver mongos cheaper and faster than the next man, so it's a self-repairing system, my god capitalism is fucking glorious

>tfw my Mexican gf called me "papi" for the first time

This is literally something I've fantasized about, what a fucking delight.

>>10781286
are you that beta gym guy larping again? do mexicans really say "papi? isn't that a puerto rican thing? gotta say doesn't sound too authentic

>>10781293
No, I'm a different guy. I thought it was a Puerto Rican thing too, but she said it today as she was pinching my cheek.

>>10781309
she's probably hoping for an anchor baby

I want to buy some of the Barnes & Nobles hardcover books but i don't know if theyre actually good quality or anything like that. I just want to get something good that looks good and feels good to read. Are they way too fucking tacky? Fuck man i dont know.

I've been in a good spot lately: healthy, fit, creative, inspired. My writing has progressed well, and so have I. Things around me are brighter, more vibrant - I'm who I was long ago.

Until today. I am back in the abyss, and I've left my tools on the other side. I am going to finish the rest of my writings this weekend and then finally do the Wallace, bros. Wish me luck.

>>10766350
>implying Ozymandius is a faggot
I'll fight you.

>>10781444
Good luck man. I hope you succeed if that's what you truly want.

>>10772924
They're all the same. People are people everywhere. Doesn't matter where to you live.

t. Have lived in Italy, France, Britain, Switzerland, and Ukraine

>>10781444
You were in a good spot before, and you can get there again. The present is not eternity.

>>10779373
wat

>>10781444
>do the Wallace

lmao i feel u man, but my super anxiety hasn't been that bad today, won't have to wallace it up in the immediate future

I want to buy codeine pills but I think the drugstore clerk already knows I'm not getting it for cough suppression

>>10781158
I feel you. But you need that chick in your life. It's tough when you live with them and sex them and then they dump you for no apparent reason and act like it never happened. Especially when they talk about marriage etc. but I think every couple that has sex talks about marriage so they don't feel guilty. I knew better, always told my self to never have sex before marriage and to only have sex for kids but I keep doing it.

I want to be a spearman and die gloriously in battle

>>10781633
I know that feel.

My primitive words match my primitive heart
It's not as easy as it may seem
Remember that yerself is steam

>>10766081
(You)

reflecting on a wrong choice made years and years ago that set me down a path of choices i wasn't one hundred percent sure of at the time and now wondering if it could ever been done.
drinking too much, blackout every day. partner wants to leave me, just want to drink it all away.
i keep watching birds and bugs wondering how long their lifespan is. i try to avoid thinking about my expected one

>>10781383
dont do it

>>10781617
You think they really care? You can either be bold and just do it or put on a show of fake coughs like a kid.

>>10766141
If the hardest thing about going to the gym isn't the workout, you have what tumblrinas constantly bleat about

I did LSD once and it was an epiphany
it would need very special circumstances for me to try it again
I quit smoking cigarettes thanks to weed
but I barely smoke weed anymore because I don't like to buy it (so I'm wondering about growing some this season)
I drink more than my fair share of bourbon and beer
the most creative I've ever been was a year I spent recording an unlistenable album, writing an unreadable novel, and generaly feeling awesome and unhibited (which also worked wonders with the ladies)
when using drugs, you need a masterplan, or be accompanied by the right people as to not get lost along the ride and be able to keep some focus and manage that surge in creativity
then, I'm very creative even without drugs so to each his own I guess
I'm also not really interested in stimulants (except for coffee for some periods)
and I'm very careful not to try heroin because I fear I might like it

aspiring writers are among the most braindead, useless idiots of all.

>>10783437
touché

Oh boy, how I love her.
Oh boy, how the possibility of losing her fills me with crippling anxiety even though we're getting closer together every day.

I think I will just kill myself over my existing grievances instead of waiting for new ones.

I got a new, above-average book and it has the tiniest crease on the corer of the outermost (so non-printed, but not the cover itself) page, most likely caused during printing. This makes me unreasonably upset. please send help

>>10783840
meant "above-average priced"

>>10779752
The lack of focus on Epicurus here and, worse, the equating of Epicureanism with hedonism is sad and ridiculous. Especially for all the NEETs who are basically incapable of enacting the true aims of Stoicism, which is to engage in the epicentres of society. Epicureanism specifically tells you to retreat from that chaos, but it also teaches you to hold friendship as one of the highest values. This, along with moderation, is the cure for most people here that are struggling.

I can't believe how much people here and elsewhere buy into Stoicism without seeing how inhumane it is or how ignorant it is. It reminds me of American style Positive psychology, except without the hope.

How the FUCK do you get cheap shipping on Barnes and Noble Marketplace orders? Why is it $4 for each individual book?

FUCKING nor'easters ruining my travel plans.
>tfw cooped up inside with no food while you should be flying to a sunny part of the country

>>10783888
I love Epicureanism desu, just wish I knew more likeminded people. It's hard to develop good friendships when one party puts far more import on it than the other.

bump

Had a really good concept for a story where the main characters are based on the card suits . Not really sure where to go from there but I have a short premise. I think I still need work on it.
Unrelated, should I read Lovecraft? I’ve been meaning to read Call of Cthulhu

>>10786223
Just read his major stories, he's a bit repetitive and you'll burn out on his writing if you try to read all of them

>>10786223
CoC sucks, his other stuff is leagues better

IF you like audiobooks look on Youtube for Wayne June's books and listen to like, The Haunter in the Dark, or The Rats in the Walls

>>10774031
You can do it! I’m in the same boat, but you’ll never get anywhere if you don’t struggle. Focus on what you want to write about most, and then let you heart guide you.

>>10786223
I have read The Shadow over Innsmouth, Rats in the Walls, Call of Cthulhu, Through the Gates of the Silver Key, At the Mountains of Madness, The Colour Out of Space, and that fucking gay essay he wrote about cats.

Lovecraft is an faggy edgelord and is not worth reading.

>>10786230
Thanks, man! I’ve been meaning to get into audiobooks.

I’m feeling ok. Things are better between my parents. We’re moving into a new house or buying my aunts house in the summer. Don’t have many friends but I’m treated nicely and my classmates are kind and friendly. Feels good. My cousin killed himself and my kid cousin (7) is considering it. Yikes. Grades are well. I miss my friends in Cal. But I’m happy they’re ok and doing well. I still talk with them from time to time. Not really any hot girls of my liking but I am complimented every now and then. My English teacher is cool and he’s a chill dude. I pissed off the Queer students by challenging their ideologies and now they think I’m homophobic. Which I’m not. Dads still working through his issues and smoking but I have hope he’ll improve. I wish I don’t turn out like him. I try not to act like him. I can be distant, but it’s better than being a narcissistic smart as who thinks he’s Gods gift to Earth. I’m afraid of falling in love, of marrying and having children, of making something potentially like my fucked up extended family , only worse. Life is scary, but worth it. My story is slowly narrowing down. My writing is improving. I’m ok. Not perfect.

But I’m alright. :)

>>10786288
I should find more interests. Play tennis, work out, read more, get a job. Maybe get a gf before the end of senior year. My options are there, waiting for me to embrace them and make them a part of me. I haven’t yet. But I will. One day. My friends at school call me the dad friend for scolding them for vaping during class, but they appreciate me looking out for them. I’m accepted. Theatre class is fun. Acting is nice. Maybe I should be part of a play. I should watch my diet more, maybe eat less. I’m still a skinny bastard though. Anyone know how to deal with nose blackheads? They’re a pain. Green is a lovely color.

The government is corrupt but things improve. They always do. I should go to Temple more often.

>>10781116
kek

>>10779033
>I stayed in bed for 25 hours over the past day

What did he mean by this??

patrish or not?

>tfw never felt love

I wanna see france,
At first i thought i wanted a bf with me, i was wrong. I just want france. Why am i so taken with a country i have no connections to?

>haven't masturbated in about a week
>the pressure is building up and getting distracting
>can't even jerk off properly because dick only gets half-erect
just end this farce and kill me already

>>10787493
>>can't even jerk off properly because dick only gets half-erect
this means you need to keep up the nofap. definitely don't watch porn.

>>10787916
i kept it up for a month once and all it did was reduce my libido to nothing, also it seemed like my dick got smaller. i'm just hoping to get better once i lose weight and start lifting

maybe i'll try looking at women on /s/ to work myself up but then deny the release, to keep my libido up

>>10787482
I'm kinda the same, but I just want to travel in general. I've never been outside my country, but the few times I've traveled within my country have been enjoyable. I'm tired of being cooped up in my city - I want to go out and experience the world, or at least experience something different. But that will have to wait until I have a proper job and/or enough money to do any of that stuff.

>>10771615
I love how your skewed perception of a "respectable man" makes it obvious you're a loser lol

>>10788093
risky move kek

>>10788239
living life always means walking on a tightrope, what can you do

i've done it once without planning it and i had real hard-ons, until i broke down and relapsed into wanking every day

>>10788093
>reduce my libido to nothing, also it seemed like my dick got smaller.

me too. i don't know what happened to it, and it was some time ago, but now it's just a useless appendage. cold, soft, numb. when I look at it, it seems to get smaller each time, if that's even possible at this stage. I think it's a problem of some sort, but I don't want to go see a doctor because there's probably nothing he can really do, save for wasting a lot of my money and time on useless tests and idle talk.

I am going to be in debt for the better part of the next 4 years unless I find a higher paying job which is unlikely. My qualifications for a higher paying job are essentially zero but maybe luck will be on my side.

I moved to the city to go to school and in turn find a higher paying and fulfilling life career over just a job, but here I am stuck due to living costs, and living with roommates is something I no longer am willing to do. 6 years or so out of my 20's is about as much as I can bare of that. So my social life will be null, which is fine with me because I tend to spend money when out, money which I do not have.

But all that being said this situation is actually a blessing in disguise. I may not be able to go to school but I have so much free time now, and with all the free resources available online, I can teach myself what I want to know in the meantime. I am going to be starting with Greeks very soon and have started retreading Mathematics.

>>10788093
>all it did was reduce my libido to nothin
gotta do that nofap thing

>>10788310
was this just because of extended nofap? how long did you go for?

I forgot to buy condoms and didn't get to fuck my gf last night. I'm so dumb I'm pretty sure she's on the verge of cheating or leaving.

>>10788188
What country are you in anon?

I've recently started thinking about what life must be like for a normal, psychologically-healthy, non-depression-afflicted person.

The first thing is immediacy of experience and feeling. The normal person actually feels himself to be in the present moment, feels himself to be where he is. There is a texture to everything, everything is tangible and perceptible. The normal person can feel the ground beneath his feet, can feel whatever it is he is touching. Simply being alive must be exhilarating to him in a way: the world is just full of things to be felt, seen, experienced, taken in. Something as mundane as a shower feels nice. The person's body feels nice as he takes his clothes off, he feels the texture of the floor as he stands in the bathroom. He feels the warm water as it runs down his body, feels himself actually existing and being present. He can almost feel the individual fibers of his towel as he wipes his body down. The shower revitalizes him and makes him feel refreshed, eager to experience new sensations and things, the whole world exists seemingly for that single purpose. Every single moment is real for him.

The second thing is the mind. The person's mind is alert and focused, neurons engaged, memory primed for storing information for further recall. Everything that he sees and hears, everything he experiences is processed by the mind into thoughts and ideas, each one linked with dozens of others. He is able to comprehend the world around him, create maps of meaning for navigating himself through the world of ideas. The world surrounding him is a world of meaning and significance, each thing having its own place on the map.
The person knows that by shifting the focal point of his mind onto a particular subject, no matter how hard or daunting it may seem, he will be able to disassemble and integrate it into his existing body of knowledge. He knows that it is pretty much just a function of time and effort. With his love for learning, and the amount of things yet to be learned in the world, it all does seem to just be great to the uttermost degree, and he feels grateful for being alive.

Third thing: a sense of agency. To the normal person, the world surrounding him is largely malleable. He knows that by exerting effort, he can influence the world and change it to his liking. He can place himself in a different environment if he so desires, he can start doing a different kind of thing if the current one doesn't suit him, he knows that the world and the possibilities in it are virtually endless. He is in control. He can affect meaningful changes that will have a lasting effect on his life. He knows that he is capable of doing the things he wants to, and that there is still time for it.

>>10788339
No, it happened after I'd started taking anti-depressants. Or something, I don't know the exact reason. It sucks, though, I can tell you that.

Also it's pretty ironic reading about a guy not being able to fuck his gf because he forgot to buy condoms. Try having something that can't be solved by purchasing something, like a perpetually limp dick. Now that's dumb.

>>10788566
>The normal person actually feels himself to be in the present moment, feels himself to be where he is.
honestly stopped reading here. absolutely not true at all.

>>10788631
that sucks. how old are you?

>>10766171

>>10788769
23. And you? Tell me about yourself.