/lit/ - Literature

Tony dragged a wet comb through his greasy black Italian hair, vat of gel on the counter, white wifebeater on he looks good, ooh baby, he looks good. He moistens the tips of his index finger, middle finger, smooths over his black pencil moustache. He's killin, yeah baby, he's killin it.

Tony's on his way to the Girlfriend Convention. It's the convention they hold every six months for dude's with girlfriends. Tony's never been before but finally it's his time to go, that's right, he's got a girlfriend. So Tony's on his way to the Girlfriend Convention, he's catching the train coz he don't got no money for petrol, or a car. He has this big stack of porno DVDs with him in a black rubbish bag. He takes out each DVD and polishes the back of the disk with the edge of his singlet. He's gotta return them to the DVD store before he heads to the convention.

After popping to the DVD store and picking up some red liquorice, which he eats as he walks, he strolls up to the convention centre. He's already bought his ticket, he flashes it at the guards and tries to walk through the turnstiles, but they make him come back and scan it. Inside the centre it's amazing, he reckons, he can see dudes with girlfriends as far as he can see. Girlfriends of all kinds, tall ones, short ones, busty ones, petite ones, brown haired ones, blonde haired ones, white ones, asian ones, indian ones, and all types of boyfriends too.

Tony's standing there, pulling red liquorice out of the pocket of his jean jacket, taking in the sights. Then a man and his girlfriend come up to him, the man is brown and short and his girlfriend is tall and blonde.

"Hey mate, where's your girlfriend?"

Tony's been waiting for this question, and he pulls out his phone, and he shows the man and his girlfriend his girlfiend's OKCupid page. Tony's girlfriend has blonde hair, blue eyes, bronzed up white skin.

"She lives in Perth, saving up now to fly her over for next convention, she's a beaut aint she?"

"Mate!" the small man says, "that's no girlfriend! MY girlfriend is real!"

Then he throws his head back and laughs. Then he turns to the crowd, and opens his arms wide and leans back a little.

"Oi fellas, this cunt doesnt have a girlfriend!!!"

Then every man and his girlfriend in the convention throws back their head and laughs. Then a man points at Tony and starts chanting and other guys join in until everyone is chanting.

"FAGGOT! FAGGOT! FAGGOT! FAGGOT!"

And Tony is so angry he throws a punch at the small brown man but misses then throws a punch at other man running at him and he connects but the man is too quick and he's tackled him to the ground. Then 550 other men jump onto Tony and start tearing at his flesh with his teeth.

And the crowd gathered round chants,

FAGGOT! FAGGOT! FAGGOT! FAGGOT!