/lit/ - Literature

I've hit a wall with this poem I'm writing /lit/. I'd be interested to know what you think of it so far and any ideas you have about where it could go next. I'll also post my other (decent) poem.

Night

The long sigh of night sets in
when the sulphur scores of light begin
and the stars hide and yellow
beneath a firmament of cars

This long exhaust of outward breath
is pulled back from the lip of death
by the hiss of bus and yawn of road
in this cul de sac of ours

I think the "that makes me moist" pic could work with this pic of Hesse.