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/lit/ - Literature

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>> No.20568484 [View]
File: 260 KB, 1080x1041, Screenshot_20210826-102152_Samsung Notes.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20568484

>> No.18945687 [View]
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18945687

>>18943239
I like it. Is the intended audience children? With the illustrations and simplistic rhyme, it sounds like it would be.

>> No.18931120 [View]
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18931120

>>18930280
It's vanquished but stands? Why call it Earth's canvas with no other painting metephors? It doesn't sound fitting with the tone. Why is the Devil at the gates of Hell laughing? Shouldn't he be reigning over earth? Rage 'lights' a righteous fire, no? The ending is supposed to be God defeating the spawn of Satan, the leeches, am I correct? It didn't have any impact on me the first couple read throughs. If it is the Devil being defeated by righteous fire, there needs to be more lines describing the power of it or something, I think.

>> No.18924901 [View]
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18924901

>>18924884
Oops, forgot pic.

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