/lit/ - Literature

>went to the bar with zoomer coeds
>decide to tell a joke because everyone is telling funny stories
>the joke comes from 11th to 13th century France from a Fabliaux I read
>the premise is a woman is grieving for her recently deceased husband at his grave
>a knight and his squire come upon her
>the knight feels pity for the woman and her grief
>the squire says not to pity her because she will soon forget her grief as she is a flighty woman
>the squire bets his master that he can fuck the woman right there on top of her husband's grave
>the knight takes up the bet and hides behind a tree to watch
>the squire approaches the grieving woman and says
>Good day Madame, and may God descend his blessings upon you!
>The grieving woman replies
>I would rather that God smote me down and layed me beside my husband! For I can't bear to live without him anymore!
>the squire says
>Oh madam, how I know your pain, and I feel mine is the ever greater!
>How so? the woman asks
>I too lost the love of my life, says the squire. And it was by own my doing.
>You killed her! the woman exclaims
>Yes, the squire states, I fucked her death.
>The woman grabs the squire and shouts
>For all that is Holy I beg of you to fuck me here and now and send me to my grave!
>so the squire obliges and fucks her on top of her husband's grave
>at first the woman is angry that the fucking isn't killing her
>but soon the pleasure takes over and she begs him not to stop
>after I finished telling this story all my zoomer coeds looked at me in disgust
>they called my story disgusting, dirty, and sexist
>they said rape isn't funny, EVER
>they clapped at every word in the previous sentence btw
>they all got up and left and told me not to follow them because people who make jokes about rape are pieces of shit
It's over /lit/. They're going to tell an administrator in the college to try to get me kicked out. I can just feel it. I never thought my literary interests would get me in trouble. I thought reading all these old jokes and comic stories from the middle ages would help me make friends since I'd always have a funny story to tell.

>matter of factory
Just saw this one. Never seen it before. I can't believe zoomers are this stupid.

>>21849415
>Read minimalist authors like Hemingway
I couldn't care less about what you just wrote, but I can't wrap my mind around the fact that people actually think hemingway was any good
>5th grade writing level
>lame plots
>boring storytelling
if hemingway was even a decent writer, bukowski is the 20th century's shakespeare

>Andrew Tate threads deleted
Good job Jann–
>AI shill thread (>>21451358) not deleted
Kill yourself Janny.

DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.
DIE FAGGOT DIE. DIE FAGGOT DIE.

Is this really the best forum to discuss literature? I ask because this board blows. Board traffic has gone down, but unfortunately the post quality has not improved. I made a reddit account and went to r/literature, but that board blows too. There's like 3 posts a day max, and most of it is just pointless shit that's not even about a work of literature, or it's very basic shit. Like someone posted a thread asking if we should read books in the past to better understand our future. They asked this because they had been reading Orwell and Huxley. Another example was someone posting about Lolita and just saying "OMG this book is literally sooooooooo good!" Then a bunch of redditors chimed in giving milquetoast comments about how everyone who reads it thinks Humbert is a good guy, but not me the intelligent redditor! I saw through Humbert's wheedling words! The problem is there is still no discussion of the book. It was just people patting themselves on the back for having read the book and trying to make themselves out as intelligent for having read a book.

It's really no different than this board, but at least /lit/ has more than three threads in a day.

So what are the alternatives besides talking to someone in real life or joining a book club?

I can't believe what you niggers have done to my thread

>go on wikipedia page of novel from the 1800's
>there's section championing "transgender theory" about a character who is undoubtedly a woman with a vagina
>the section posits the woman is really a tranny with no textual evidence (citing only an introduction written by a literal who in which the literal who admits it's all speculative and that there's no textual evidence to it) and despite the fact that in the sequel the woman has a son
I'm so tired of it all. I deleted the tranny section and saw in the edit history some troon had restored it when another had deleted it earlier for being textually false.

I don't get it guys. I am decent looking, have nice hair that's a beautiful natural blonde color. I dress like a dark academician. I read French novels (in French) in public to signal my learnedness and advanced literary tastes. But for some reason art hoes and women specifically aren't flocking to me. I even have an ironic mustache so women know I'm cool. What am I doing wrong?? You guys told me this is how you attract art hoes!! I spent 3 years learning French for this! And I've got no results! Only Korean evangelicals have approached me to proselytize when I read my French novels in public.

>>17921967
>>17921934
REEEEEEEW FUCKING CHAD WITH A WIFE AND BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER OR SON ON THE WAY IS "COMPLAINING" HE IS ABOUT TO HAVE A CHILD WITH HIS LOVING WIFE
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
IT SHOULD BE ME
ME
ME WHO IS HAVING THE CHILD
FUCK YOU THIS WINDFALL IS WASTED ON YOU
REEEEEEEEE

>>17895545
>write an essay on James Joyce for a literature class
>decide to ape Joyce by turning on its head the trope of introduction and concluding paragraph being the same
>basically I make my essay cyclical like Finnegans Wake
>start in the middle of my these sentence
>concluding paragraph ends with the first half of the first sentence
>cycle completed
>Prof fails me and says this isn't a creative writing class
>says my essay was great but I really shouldn't do something radical in regards to style with an academic essay
>says he hopes I learned my lesson about trying to be inventive and original of not endearingly kitsch

>decide to get my dad Dennett's 'From Bacteria to Bach and Back' to try and broaden his horizons
>I explain that it's an accessible explanation of materialistic models of consciousness
>his only response is "well anon I'm much obliged" and reaches from his recliner to set it aside on the coffee table
>I know what that "much obliged" means
>he said "much obliged" when mom got him those golf clubs that have sat untouched in the garage ever since
>tell him he really should read it since there's a lot of modern science that he doesn't know about and might change his worldview if he did
>he hefts From Bacteria to Bach in one hand and his huge leather bound NKJV bible that is always at his side in the other, contemplatively weighing them
>he says "the word of man seems a might light compared to the word of god"
>I ask if he seriously thinks the physical weight of a book is a legitimate way of determining the truth of its contents
>he says "weeeell now anon I didn't say that. I'm just sayin the good book seems more a book than this here science man's"
>there's a lump in my throat from rage as I explain that makes absolutely zero sense
>he says "weeell anon I reckon it ain't the word of god that must seek to make sense to man, but man who must seek to make sense of the word of god"
>I ask him what about pocket bibles, those are lighter than chemistry textbooks so does that mean they aren't as true?
>he chuckles and says I'm acting like a woman who's got her husband coming through the door and her lover still only half-dressed
>realize it's no use arguing with redneck wisdoms so I just leave
>dad shouts "I'm much obliged for the book" as I go

>>17687368
NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST GROUP PLAYS WRITTEN ABOUT THEBES BY THE SAME AUTHOR INTO ONE BOOK YOU CANT YOU CANT YOU CANT

It's not an academic invention.

>tfw no one even mocks or says your shelves are based

EXPLAIN THE PLOT LINES AND TWISTS TO EACH HORROR'S CALL NOVEL RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!! DONT DUMB IT DOWN FOR ME DONT TELL ME THE TWISTS ARE TOO GOOD TO SPOIL AND DONT FUCKING TELL ME THEY CAN BE READ IN ANY ORDER!!! RIGHT FUCKING NOW SOMEONE BETTER TELL ME THE TWISTS TO CALL OF THE ARCADE CALL OF THE CROCODILE CALL OF CHEROKEE CALL OF THE KAPPA AND CALL OF THE CRADLE FUCK F GARDNER!!! IM NEVER READING HIS BOOKS!!! SUM THEM UP FOR ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!

>>16691625
>>16691672
26 here, good luck brothers

MAKE TIME STOP
I WANT TO STOP EXPERIENCING THIS LINEAR TORTURE
PLEASE MAKE IT FUCKING STOP
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>getting real fucking tired of /lit/'s dogshit opinions and pseuds who have no idea what they're talking about

>>15616178

>>15574930
>they cancelled cops the tv show
they've gone too fucking far this time

Just finished my first year of my master's and I still haven't picked my thesis.

>And did those feet in ancient time,
>Walk upon Englands mountains green:
>And was the holy Lamb of God,
>On Englands pleasant pastures seen!

>And did the Countenance Divine,
>Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
>And was Jerusalem builded here,
>Among these dark Satanic Mills?

>Bring me my Bow of burning gold:
>Bring me my Arrows of desire:
>Bring me my Spear: O clouds unfold:
>Bring me my Chariot of fire!

>I will not cease from Mental Fight,
>Nor shall my Sword sleep in my hand:
>Till we have built Jerusalem,
>In Englands green & pleasant Land.

>reading old book (pre-1990)
>character dies from melancholy
I'm glad progress in psychiatry has mostly rid books of this stupid trope.

>get texted by girl during quarantine
>Can I share something I wrote? I'm not sure if I should but you have such a literary soul
>Sure
>Sends in depth, beautiful and passionate love poem
>I...I am speechless. I feel the same about you
>It's actually for someone else but I thought you could give me input