/lit/ - Literature

I believe that if I my curiosity is strong enough about something, it'll happen. When I was a kid, for some stupid reason I really wanted to get bullied. Cue to a year later where I'm being threatened a swirlie. Then another time I wanted to feel like depression was like, then two years after that I end up failing to noose myself. Later on, I starting thinking about death and how it must suck to have someone close to you die. Two people close to me died. For the past year I've wondering how psychosis and shit like that feels like. . . .I'm scared. WHY CAN'T I JUST WONDER ABOUT HOW IT WOULD BE LIKE IF I WENT ON A ROLLER COASTER OR SOME SHIT? FUCK MORBID CURIOSITY.