/lit/ - Literature

>>14402703
I don’t know how I got here. I don’t know how I connected with anyone and met her when I grew up in a whirlwind of abuse. I don’t know why she loves me so and accepts me for who I am, when I was forced to take drugs at a young age and it fucked my whole life up. I don’t know how I met this human being with a beautiful heart when I survived brain damage so severe from those prescriptions sprinkled into my food. I don’t know how she’s in my life when long ago everyone said I would die. I should be dead, but tomorrow I’m spending Christmas with a girl who means the world to me. This may be the first healthy relationship that I’ve ever encountered, and it’s scary, but wonderful.

I’m to arrive at her cozy little appartment at 8pm, and from there she’s declared that we’ll watch all her favorite Christmas movies, and that she’ll be baking something. She has roommates who are kind and welcome me in, one of whom has gone all out, scavenging thrift shops from around the area to decorate the place. There’s a beautiful tree, adorned in ornaments above, and gifts below, and a big cozy couch in the middle of this tiny Boston apartment wearing a crown of sparkling lights which cast a dim and comforting tone over the entire place. When I was growing up, we never had any of that. The light was fluorescent and sharp and it hurt my eyes, because I was always in the hospital.

I know her well enough at this point, that once everyone’s in bed we’ll stay on the couch and as soon as her roommates are gone she’ll tackle me and hold me close, kissing my face and pressing herself into me. And then we’ll talk like we always do, and learn more about each other until the sun comes up. And with each passing minute I’ll be a little less afraid, that the people who made me that way will become more wrong, and I will know that I am not too damaged to be loved. With each passing minute on Christmas Eve, I’ll know her better, and she’ll know me. She has her demons too, but she’s just so kind and I understand where she comes from. I want to return her love and acceptance of me tenfold. When I am with her, I finally feel at ease. I glow, and I melt.

I don’t care if I sound like a faggot, because I’ve found her. After so long in the desert by myself, I’ve finally found her and I love her, this person who I always knew was out there, who I have known my entire life and have been waiting to meet up with. I love her so much, with all my heart, and I want to make her happy. I will make her happy. Merry Christmas anons, in this time of cold may you all find your own angels this year.