/lit/ - Literature

>>15691692
overall I'd say not bad, some interesting imagery and decent flow. I would definitely get rid of the Cowboy Bebop OST bit as I feel that that instantly dates the poem and just doesn't really work with the rest of what you're saying. Also last line really doesn't do anything for me, might just be me tho so I won't have too much of a go.

And as for my worthless twaddle, I've been fannying around with structure a bit, so now rather than having weak observations poorly made in two or three equal stanzas I can now have them in a stanza and a couple lines after. I doubt they'll be much good to anyone, but at least I'm trying out summat new out and what have you.

Also, lovely bit of plagiarism in the third one so big ups to anyone who gets wot it's from.