/lit/ - Literature

when i sent the girl im in love with a message asking if she was going to see the french dispatch it didnt say delivered under the little blue bubble and so google says that means she blocked my number which i guess makes sense since a few months ago i texted her like three times in a row trying to talk to her after she responded (well, i thought, we were just talking like friends) and then i made a stupid joke about if her chakras aligned with jupiter maybe we should hang out (which maybe that pissed her off idk it was stupid and i shouldnt have said it i guess but i have a big mouth and feel obligated to say dumb things just to have something to say) but i still feel like my life is now over since im convinced she was the girl i was meant to spend my life with and is the most beautiful person ive ever met so when you peak in those terms at the age of twenty-three how am I supposed to feel when she so soundly and easily rejects me not even stopping to consider me or respond to me and now i want to cry go to the gym go for a run buy a skateboard and finish my book all at once but the only reason i wanted to finish the stupid book in the first place was so she would realize how smart and interesting i am and fall in love with me but that hasnt happened so now im just sitting here and my life is now over and im twenty five years old with thinning hair

im thinking about dinner now but nothing sounds good and part of me wants to lie in bed and cry but the other part of me feels thats totally pathetic and wants to create some fucking inertia from this stupid situation and then i also want to call my best friend who now lives far away and talk to him about it but what is he supposed to tell me when ive been obsessed with one girl for two years that will make me feel any better, its already totally irrational to be emotionally invested in any one person for that long when they havent shown you any signs of reciprocating so what is he supposed to do here it feels totally useless