/lit/ - Literature

I suck at critiques but I'll do my best. I also don't read poetry.
>>14676040
>It was the type of day where white clouds hang low and mothers make children wear coats that engulf them—just to be safe.
I like your piece a lot, but this line feels off for some reason, but you effectively set up the characters and story. Also, this is a nitpick, but I think you can add just a touch of detail to the USA detail. Like, it was 'emblazoned in bold white letters', or something like that.
>>14678273
Put periods before quotation Mark's. Other than that, fine. I'd change 'upon seeing' to 'when he saw'. Upon seeing feels a bit more grand for the scenario.
>>14675911
Genuinely don't know what to make of this.

>>14625074
I've never actually seen one of those. I wrote it mostly to simulate the experience of having a girlfriend. The guy is an idealized version of myself and the girl is an amalgamation of various crushes I've had over the years