/lit/ - Literature

>>19907945
>I spent less than $100.
that's more than I ever earned actually creating shit in my whole life

>Alright I'm getting too horny for my own good
>Let's try this Tradpill everyone's talking about
>Take a walk around my town, find this sweet little church with just an altar and a few benches
>This is perfect
>Sit down, no priest, nobody else
>Maybe breaching Corona measures but it's OK, this is an important development in my life
>Take out my Bible
>Pick up from where I left, Gen 24
>Get to the part where there's Rebekah fetching water in the desert and offering drink to Abraham's servant
>All these women are described as "very fair"
>Start thinking about this attractive Jewish girl offering me water from her pitcher
>Struggle to keep Rebekah out of my mind
>Realize that so far the entire book's been about God helping people get laid and arranging couples.
>Everyone's copulating and churning out children like crazy while God blesses them, everyone's having sex but me
>Decide I'm desecrating the place with these thoughts, put my Bible away, leave an offer and walk out
>Right after I get out of the door I see this woman walking her dog
>She's wearing tight jeans and boots with heels and she's got the most perfect ass I've seen in the last 10 years
>I mutter "please Jesus save me" under my breath while I stare at her hips swinging
>She drops her lighter and bends over to pick it up
>Feel the Bible almost catching fire in my bag like in that Indiana Jones movie
>She turns around with her cigarette in her mouth and looks at me
>Walk past the succubus' puff of smoke in a hurry while thinking depraved things but also wanting to procreate with her
This isn't working guys

>Alright I'm getting too horny for my own good
>Let's try this Tradpill everyone's talking about
>Take a walk around my town, find this sweet little church with just an altar and a few benches
>This is perfect
>Sit down, no priest, nobody else
>Maybe breaching Corona measures but it's OK, this is an important development in my life
>Take out my Bible
>Pick up from where I left, Gen 24
>Get to the part where there's Rebekah fetching water in the desert and offering drink to Abraham's servant
>All these women are described as "very fair"
>Start thinking about this attractive Jewish girl offering me water from her pitcher
>Struggle to keep Rebekah out of my mind
>Realize that so far the entire book's been about God helping people get laid and arranging couples.
>Everyone's copulating and churning out children like crazy while God blesses them, everyone's having sex but me
>Decide I'm desecrating the place with these thoughts, put my Bible away, leave an offer and walk out
>Right after I get out of the door I see this woman walking her dog
>She's wearing tight jeans and boots with heels and she's got the most perfect ass I've seen in the last 10 years
>I mutter "please Jesus save me" under my breath while I stare at her hips swinging
>She drops her lighter and bends over to pick it up
>Feel the Bible almost catching fire in my bag like in that Indiana Jones movie
>She turns around with her cigarette in her mouth and looks at me
>Walk past the succubus' puff of smoke in a hurry while thinking depraved things but also wanting to procreate with her
This isn't working guys