/lit/ - Literature

>pull up to my Barratt new build home with my 25 year fixed rate mortage in my grey Audi A3 on finance after a hard days work as deputy assistant head of sales targeting
>open the boot and take out my River Island and Superdry bags with the new gear I bought on the way home from work
>open the door
>yell hello to my wife of 2-years in the kitchen as she is already home from her work as a Team Leader in a call centre
>sit down on my leather sofa bought on sale at Sofology (haha I love those adverts, what is that sloth like haha, love sloths me)
>put up my feet on the IKEA table
>whap on the telly and tune in just in time to see Bradders going through the rules of the final chase with the contestants who made it through before they face Anne Hegarty
>perfect timing as my wife comes in with the dinner, another one of Jamie Oliver's cracking 30 minute meals
>tuck in as I pretend to listen to my wife's stories from her day at work
>send a cheeky snap to Smithster and Deano to see if they can come round for the champions league match later to watch it on the ol' Sony Bravia, maybe sneak in a few rounds of Fifa '17 on the PS4 first, bloody Smithster ignoring the rule of no tap-ins what a melt haha

>>10333747
You're a little bit too deep into the irony anon. If you're going to do that, then try and let people actually see your tongue in your cheek from time to time. Just saying he "reforged straightforward" would have been a funny and almost oxymoronic pairing for example, but instead you choose to keep the act up too strongly, then simultaneously to blow the joke from the other end as well by allowing the narrator-speaker to understand how to say "I talk too much" in spite of the fact that the joke was supposed to be that he can't. Go for things that sound more like Freudian slips rather than the not-so reluctant admissions of quirkiness you're throwing at me.