/lit/ - Literature

Kinda late but yet started reading hesse's sidharta. done 1/3 in one read, short book and one thought caught my attention since I've thought about the same thought once before.

why learn anything at all? just be the person you should be. A spiritual person is who heshe should be. whats good out of wise nice words from phlosophers? Like yeah I get it, theres thesis, antithesis then synthesis which is thesis and the cycle goes and goes. thats just a theory, a theory gives perspective and its supposedly easier to understand life then, but how can you understand anything at all? Where does knowledge come from? Confucius says that knowledge with hard work is more important than wisdom or anything else for that matter. Preposterous in my opinion. One time I was walking through a beach and got psychedelic trip without drugs, an insight which told me - work, do work a lot. And it was so clear for me, if you work, you have food and everything you need physically and mentally. But Buddha says - you dont have to create. And all work is creating.

This is a philosophy labyrinth, isn't it?

popular book. starts with gypsies and magic bullshit, he understand that earth is like an orange, oh yeah.

how is this book desu, im not feeling it actually?

am I the only one who read like 10 books at the moment?

I'm bored /lit/, I'm bored with everything. Going out, completing tasks, living life in general.

I've always been a human trainwreck. Ugly, rejected and hated by my peers, abused by my parents to the point of having scars crisscrossing my back (I live with my grandparents, 24 y/o), admitted to the psych ward 4 different times for schizophrenia related episodes. Its all a frustrating story to look back at. I comfort myself by knowing I got my GED at the end of it all.

The worst part is that, while my rational mind knows my life is terrible, I'm actually becoming happy. Occasionally I break out of NEETdom and work at Walmart or Burger King or some other illegal immigrant tier job until they inevitably fire me for being a stuttering, mumbling autistic mess. I've made peace with being a kissless virgin forever through moving my own mental goalposts for what satisfaction entails. Well, that and the new psych meds that kill my sex drive. My NEETbux paid for a shiny new gaming PC with three monitors and I'm downloading more books than I can handle for the other parts of my free time. Its nice, its peaceful, and its a safe schedule.

I know I'll always be a pseud without a college education. At this point I don't care. Being alone for prolonged periods of time triggers episodes and I start falling into delusions or doing crazy shit like smashing hard drives, wrapping electronics in plastic wrap, testing food for poison, or wrapping myself in a black sheet and grabbing a knife to spy on suspicious teenagers hanging out outside my house at night from the bushes (they didn't do anything).

And the boredom stems from all of that. The same routine, the same hobbies, the same nocturnal sleep cycle, the same lack of hope. I even have a fuckton of physical deformities that it would be a waste of time mentioning. The only thing I have in life that brings me happiness is 4chan, my online gaming groups, and my tabletop RPG friends online.

Love you guys, even if you hate me.

>>7005105
>>7005113
No one is being mean to me either, but the threads that get by far the most replies are the ones indulging the same violent polemics over and over again. I'm not offended or trying to pass judgment on anyone, I'm just wondering if an alternative exists.

>>7005109
>>7005115
This sort of elitism is also something I'd like to avoid.

>>7005097
>>7005120
He'll grow out of it.