/lit/ - Literature

ITT: Copypastas/saved posts/lit humor that are objectively better than common lowbrow lit like Rupi Kaur. I'll start:


It's nice to see Proust held to the same regard that I hold him. Aside from his philosophically brilliant and stylistically delightful epic, I identify with Proust as a person and an artist. You see, according to letters from Proust to his loved ones, he was a chronic masturbator.

Not like your average adolescent, we're talking 10-15 times a day, well into his late 30s. It's no wonder he didn't start seriously writing ISOLT/Swann's Way until the late age of 38, because his wrist must've been devoid of cartilage by age 35 requiring strenous recovery, like how some 30-year-old NBA players have the knees of an 80-year-old after a modest career. I too have this problem, it's a curse. But it comforts me knowing that there is an upper echelon of chronic masturbators who are brilliant artists and thinkers throughout human history. It comforts me knowing that when I die there might be a glowing castle in the clouds where all the great chronic masturbators throughout history stay, and Proust, from the highest tower, upon seeing my one normal arm and muscular arm with a chaffed lumberjack palm, blows smoky stardust from his divine pipe and shouts "Lower the bridge, he's one of us!", and I am greeted with Target 5 for $5 hand creams as I take my rightful place in eternity

>>10156477
>be notorious class clown in high school, one time diving across a teacher's desk like a slip-and-slide and knocking over everything on his desk.
>night classes, classmates single parents and former military who work during the day, razor thin tolerance for bullshit
>read Infinite Jest the summer before college. unironically believed it was the pinnacle of literature despite only reading high school literature prior to it.
>English Literature, The American Experience class
>female "instructor", AKA Ph.D student
>I bring up Infinite Jest in literally every single discussion, even if it has nothing to do with it
>instructor tells me how Infinite Jest is a contemporary work that might be forgotten in the next 10 years, not worthy of comparison to the classics, and beyond the scope of this class
>actual animosity builds between instructor and i
>sometimes in the middle of discussion while she's talking, i'll take my copy of Infinite Jest out of my backpack and loudly smack it onto my desk, making the entire class jump and look at me. This caused the professor to KNOW I'm about to ask a question relating her monologue to Infinite Jest, and you can feel her shifting her monologue mid-sentence to steer away from as much possible Infinite Jest-related things as she could. That simple smack was a real mind fuck. The rest of the class was glaring at me.
>one day I did this and a former US Marine sitting next to me literally grabbed my copy of Infinite Jest and threw it out the window. We were on like the 4th floor and it was raining outside.
>the class applauded loudly
>then SMACK! i had another copy of Infinite Jest in my backpack. I was SO proud of this, and trying so hard to hold back my shit-eating grin but I couldn't contain it. I looked beyond autistic.
>"Get out!" the instructor yelled. Thinking everyone would laugh, I was scared at her response, and the Marine took my backpack and book and placed it in the hallway and held the door for me to leave
>i ended up dropping the class

>>7361858

Everything about that sentence.

Gold!