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/lit/ - Literature

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>> No.13815051 [View]
File: 104 KB, 549x598, i_119.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13815051

>>13815041
Here it is
I tried to capture the feeling of the pic I attached

an evergreen tree
beneath the strangling cold gaze
of a dull gray sky

>> No.13813909 [View]
File: 104 KB, 549x598, i_119.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13813909

Can you gives give me your thoughts on a haiku I just wrote? I tried to capture the feeling of the pic I attached

an evergreen tree
beneath the strangling cold gaze
of a dull gray sky

>>13813564
Overall I like the imagery created. I particularly enjoy the first line. The second line felt a bit forced.

>> No.13813878 [DELETED]  [View]
File: 104 KB, 549x598, i_119.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13813878

can you guys give me your thoughts on a haiku i just wrote

an evergreen tree
beneath the piercing warm gaze
of a crimson sky

i tried to capture the feeling of the pic i attached

>>13813564
overall i liked the imagery created
first line is nice but the second line feels a little bit forced

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