/lit/ - Literature

>>10791542
Too often I think back to the time in which my journey intersected with yours, a million years ago when we both lived in that windy little town outside of Cortez. Too often I think about how it moved me; how every night, the desert was so clear and beautiful. Out in the middle of the plains I’d find you standing under the heavens, staring off into infinity with those massive eyes of yours. You were very much a creature of that place. To me, you were something of a spirit, an enchantress who seemed to emerge from the red dust of that land; who every night would exhale the stars around me. I the stranger, the temporary, this un-belonging thing from the east, felt drawn to that. If I could go back, I’d try to be brave. I’d do my best to toss my fears out into the open, to throw them on the ground, to point and laugh at them and hope to god you’d do the same. If nothing else in the world, I wanted lie there with you in the damp cool grass under the heavens, for us to feel small, but not apart. I remember you told me you felt alone, right before I had to leave, how your words had made my chest hurt. I wanted us to laugh about the awkwardness and distance we both seem to feel from all other things, about the absurdity of our lives, about the absurdity of ourselves. I wish I had been brave enough to be vulnerable, to truly know who you were. In your own subtle way, you certainly tried your best to know me. I miss the tranquil desert sky where one can see the machinery of the cosmos in its workings. I miss the clarity, the stillness, the voices of those massive silent things, and the part that you played among them.

>>10276514
>Step 1: find yourself a cute outdoorsy girl who likes to hike and do stuff like that. They are almost always happier, healthier, and more well adjusted human beings.
>Step 2: Ask her out.
>Step 3: Once you’ve been on a couple dates and have hung out a bit, and you’ve reached the point in the burgeoning relationship where she realizes that you aren’t a serial killer, drive her out somewhere dark away from the city lights, somewhere pretty like a meadow or something.
>Step 4: Bring snacks, comfy things like pillows and blankets, and put them in the trunk of your car.
>Step 5: Blow her mind with your autistic knowledge of mythology and love stories that you can point out to her in the night sky.
>Step 6: fuck like rabbits.

It’s easier than it sounds.

>>10158277
Fuck it, here's a love letter that I'll never send:

There are so many people in my life who I meet every day. They speak so much and say so little, prattling on about themselves yet I don't even remember their names. Somehow I can't help but remember everything you tell me, to the point where it creeps me out that I'm like this. I guess if you genuinely start to care about someone, remembering things becomes easy.
I remember you always telling me about how inadequate you felt about yourself. "I try to play the game, but my game sucks haha..." You're wrong. "I'm weird" you say as you walk away, "you're not weird" I say back, and you persist "yes I am!" Those were your words, and by the look on your face I could tell you actually believe that. I understand that burden, that feeling of self-judgement in my own life yet for someone like you I can't wrap my head around it.
I see how strong you are. Everyone who meets you does and we're all amazed, because you are amazing. People are always pointing it out to you and I know how goddamn frustrating that can be, because I'm the same way and nobody seems to get how fucking isolating that can be. When I see that toughness you have I get this horrible gut feeling because I know what can cause that in a person's life. I don't know what happened to you, maybe I'm projecting my own shit onto someone else but I hope you're alright. I know for myself that my strength comes from overcoming terrible things, weathering storms. I hope I'm wrong about you, that we aren't alike and that you haven't closed yourself off in strength like I have.
You said you were lonely as you shrunk back in your chair and my chest hurt a little because you're just so fucking fantastic I can't even describe it. I don't want you to be alone. You couldn't be more wrong. Your game is great. It's just the timing and geography of my life and yours that really sucks. It absolutely kills me.
What if there didn't have to be "a game?" What if we decided not to play, to turn around, disregard everyone else's bullshit and do our own thing. You know I think you're incredible, and I know you think the same about me. Hell we've said it to one another so many times. What if you and I, two people who are somehow just so self aware, such insane over-thinkers, could sidestep all of that?
I want to sit with you under those desert stars and laugh about the absurdity of life, about the absurdity of myself, revel in the awkwardness and just enjoy talking to you, truly knowing who you are before anything else. Obviously I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to girl stuff like this, and you scare the shit out of me because you're the first person I've met who's worth it. I'm okay with that.
I remember something else that you said to me, "don't become a stranger." Thank you so much for that. I'm trying my best. I'm doing everything in my power to be back next summer. I'm sure we'll meet again someday out there in the west.