/lit/ - Literature

Three men sit at separate tables but all close to one another at an inn that stands on a tall hill, the inn is lit with candle light and smells of tobacco.
The strongest of the men dressed in high quality monk robes in a drunken haze stands up abruptly and thrusts his glass of ale into the misty air around them. "Bakker, he is the one true supreme king of this land" he proclaims loudly before looking at the other two men, showing a subtle smile of supreme supremacy that rules over them for just a moment.
"outrageous claim!" the second man answers and pulls up his hurdy gurdy from beneath the table and begins singing a song about the video streaming adventures of Rothfuss the bearded and how he is the one true supreme ruler.
After the song has ended the third man, an educated scholar and world hopper who has travelled far from the lands of Westeros finally speaks "George R. R. Martin has been prophesied to rule not only over these lands but the entire Cosmere which we live in, every book speaks of his return from his journey of becoming the supreme autarch".
The mist in the inn grew thicker, the men calmed down and sat silently, each deep in thought on how they should prove their creators supremacy.
Finally the waitress of the inn, a magical innkeeper enters their room ready to offer them more drinks, she had no limit on how much she fed and gave them to drink or smoke, she had a fetish to overfeed. Before she could explain her intentions the scholar points at her and asks her calmly "missy, who is the one and only ruler of these lands, the supreme king of the cosmere?" looking at the other two men with one eye brow raised "I think we can all agree such a wondrous beauty and Aes Sedai can answer for us" looking back at the innkeeper focusing on her name tag "could you not? Miss, Erin?".
Erin looked at the men before folding her arms (under her breasts of course) and showing them all a smug smile. "Why of course I can, for there is only one man who truly rules supreme as a king of these lands, and that is the author of Breach of Peace Mr Daniel B. Greene. Now would anybody care for some more ale?".
That night all men suffered from alcohol poisoning and Daniel Greene ruled supreme for all eternity with Sanderson in a dress by his side as his queen.