/lit/ - Literature

>>10128067
It makes me curious what's wrong with her that she'd be so sensitive. Maybe that's just me posturing to myself about how many slaps I can take, or maybe that's what you were going for, or maybe that's a legitimate criticism. Maybe both. I don't know.
>>10127784
>>10127771
I don't know if it's because I'm dumb or high but this lost me completely in term of where I understood in time the events were going on. I got a good feel for the characters, I think, but not what they were involved in really.
>>10125317
I think you should go way more into the clinical detail in the first little bit

Sorry if the sizing is weird. I had to email it to myself (b/c I'm bad with computers) and then resize it in paint and I don't know how it's gonna look on other screens. This is the first time I've done something like this and it's just the most recent few things I've done in this meandering mess of my start of a story.