/lit/ - Literature

>>18257488
If things keep going wrong as they have for the last 4 years, I will kill myself. I'm not even depressed anymore, just a bit tired, and I've rationally thought about it.
The only reasons I haven't committed suicide yet were that my family would suffer, because I had some great long term goals that I wanted to achieve, and because of fear of a possible hell.
About my family, that's pretty much solved: my sister is giving birth to her first daughter in a month, and I know that my parents have always wanted to be grandparents, so that should be more than enough to ease their pain. Plus, I know that I could never give them grandkids, so I would be saving them from the disappointment. Aside from that, it would be benefitial for them, since they wouldn't have to waste anymore time and money on me, they would be able to enjoy more free time and could actually save money.
About my long term goals, I used to think that I could achieve great things which would benefit others, but turns out that I'm not as great as I thought, and everything I had planned to achieve them has turned wrong, be it because of me being too useless, or because of things out of my control.
I'm not fully convinced about the existence of hell, or of some sort of divinity. I've always had a complicated relationship with religion, but now I think that it is unlikely for such a thing as hell to exist, and if there is a God, I don't think he would even care about me.

Can I still become a respected philosopher even if my ideas aren't accepted by academia?

I do.
I write it as if I was writing a letter to a friend, so I try to do good stuff to tell him about it.

Why is that most people still believe in democracy? Is there any book that effectively argues for democracy?