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File: 42 KB, 236x243, Koyukkureimu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
984383 No.984383 [Reply] [Original]

New story. Now with 50% less Nasu references.

It's a two-parter, so I'll write the second half if Anon likes it.

Here it goes. Hopefully, it won’t suck like my last attempt.
“Hey, Mister! You’re back! Where’s the food?”

“Yu! Yu!”

“Let’s take it easy here!”

“Yu!”

“Reimu’s ready for food!”

A wave of noise hit me. I had barely entered the clearing before a swarm of yukkuris surrounded me. At least two dozen Koyukkureimus and a single Yukkureimu were bouncing up and down in excitement. Pushing against and crushing one another in their fervor to reach me, they advance. Yells of “Get off me easy!” and crying filled the air. I stand and watch the spectacle. It would be a full five minutes before gravity and exhaustion sorted them out in a loose congregation in front of me. The crying and yelling had ceased and all eyes were on me...

Dark, soulless eyes.

Surveying over the scene, I make a mental note of the size and ages of the yukkuris. Fifteen of the koyukkuris are a week old at the most and the rest can’t be more than 3 weeks. Young yukkuris are easily persuaded.

“I’m sorry; I don’t have any food today. I’ll bring some tomorrow, so can I just take it easy with you, today?”

I have been feeding them everyday for the past two weeks. They trust me, especially the mother.

“Okay, mister! We can take it easy together! Bring some more food for Reimu and her family tomorrow, ok!”

Hearing the approval of their mother, the koyukkuris soon joined in with shouts of approval. Such simple-minded creatures. They were completely dependent on their mother.

>> No.984389

“I’m glad you feel that way. I have some bad news for you. That was my last bit of food. I can’t bring any more food around.”

“But, what about Reimu’s family?”

“I don’t have enough for them. That’s why I came to you. I want you to move in with me. I have all the food you’ll ever need. We could take it easy forever.”

A proposal that no normal yukkuri would refuse.

“No! Reimu has to take care of her babies! Go away! You can’t take Reimu from her family! Go take it easy somewhere else!”

Defiance and refusal. How unexpectedly noble. But, why? Is it because she loves her children? Or is it because its hunger was just satisfied? Only time will tell. All I know is that my plans are undeterred by this development. .

I walk away at the mother’s behest. As I leave the clearing, the various koyukkuris watch me, their tiny minds trying to decipher my actions. Dozens of beady little eyes track my movements. Time stops for the koyukkuris as they watch me. It’s almost surreal. I quicken my pace. They continue to stare.

I reach the edge of the clearing and prepare to leave. A hedge of bushes acts as a final barrier to the forest. Pushing through it, I spot a single koyukkuri trapped in the branches.

>> No.984384

The gathering breaks apart as the prospect of food is gone. I follow after the mother. It returns into a hollowed-out tree. A thick layer of dried grass, leaves, and twigs covers the floor of alcove, establishing it as the yukkuris’ nest. I took a look through the entrance. There was the mother, preparing to sleep. It sees me and abandons its tired demeanor.

“Are you going to take it easy here?”

I nod and it puts on a happy expression.
“Your family is certainly getting big now.”

I make small talk and congratulate it on its unnatural family size. An impossible size. Its family had the population of a small yukkuri village.

“Reimu loves her babies!”

I’ve been feeding it Yukkur-EZ for the past two weeks or so. Sourced from ground-up Yukkurisus (Alice-types), the drug causes a yukkuri to become pregnant without the need of a partner. It was another innovation from the factory, a result of the extensive research on yukkuri reproduction.

The mother looked tired, no doubt due to its constant childbirth. Giving birth to two dozen children in two weeks is no small feat for a yukkuri. I could see the small marks where the umbilical tendrils were attached to the mother’s body. The tendrils themselves were probably eaten by a hungry koyukkuri. The mother’s skin was loose and its hair was missing its usual shine. The characteristic ribbon on its head sagged, reflecting the mother’s weariness. However, despite her ragged appearance, the mother radiates a content aura.

>> No.984386

“Hey, Reimu, you don’t look so well. Eat this.”

I pulled out a small bag of sugar and a carrot from my pockets and place it in front of the yukkuri.

“Hey, mister! You lied! You lied to Reimu and her family!”

An immediate revolt. I simply wait and watch.

Minutes pass.

It eyes the food in front of it. Its body shudders and its eyes are transfixed on the food. Drool leaks out of its mouth. Its resolve evaporates.

It pounces.

It consumes.

>> No.984392

Ants cover its body and are steadily eating away at it. Its skin is gone, only small patches remain. Its bean paste is plainly visible and moldy. Its eyes are gone, long eaten by the ants. The mouth is open and crawling with ants. The only identifiable features remaining are its hair and accessories, both covered in dirt.

This koyukkuri died three yards away from its family. Its eyeless sockets point to the clearing. Dried-up tears leave a line of salt under each. Something enters my head.

It starves while watching its siblings play.

Its cries for help are ignored by its mother, its sisters.

Its tears do nothing and only wet the soil.

Its wails fall on deaf ears.

It’s too tired to cry. Too tired to yell. Too tired to live.

It closes its eyes.

>> No.984401

>>984397
STICKS AND STONES ANON
STICKS AND STONES

>> No.984397

Was your last attempt the reference-filled cancer thing?

>> No.984406

>>984392
This doesn't make sense. Why does Reimu not care about one of her babies in particular when she is willing to turn down the prospect of taking it easy forever to stay with her kids?

>> No.984412

>>984406
Because it's one kid out of 25. She has her hands full and doesn't notice. It's foreshadowing for the second part which is partly based on the size of the family.

>> No.984416

>>984412
She doesn't notice...? To quote:
"Its cries for help are ignored by its mother"

>> No.984424

>>984406
Also, the not taking it easy forever thing is due to her being full. If she was hungry, she would have gone with Anon.

I was trying to show that a yukkuri's devotion is a lie and completely dependent on their stomachs. Reimu's stomach was full, so it stuck with her kids.

>> No.984434

>>984416
That was my fault. I added mother at the last moment. Its cries were ignored by its sisters.

>> No.984437

Goddamnit, anon. When the fuck do you learn not to speak "I hope you like it", "If you like it", "Last time i sucked", etc on _4CHAN_? You just go all "This is my fucking story, tell me what you think but keep in mind that I don't give a shit about your opinion and will write more anyway."

Also, liked it. Proceed.

>> No.984448

It's shit.

>> No.984445

>>984437
Because I have no self-esteem and I am a whore for Anon's approval.

>> No.984453

>“This shit’s good!”

I disapprove of this line. Doesn't feel like something a yukkuri would say.

>> No.984461

>>984453
You're kidding, right?

>> No.984460

>>984453
That phrase is canon.

>> No.984479
File: 113 KB, 550x371, 1215740713730.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
984479

>> No.984480

>>984460
Is the translation?

>> No.984488

>>984448
"This shit is good!"

>> No.984486

>>984480
As much as "take it easy" is.

>> No.984521

You have my attention, continue

>> No.984525

What if I wrote a fic on people being nice to yukkuris? Having one as a pet would be pretty cool...

>> No.984526

>>984445
You have my approval Anonymous.

>> No.984531

>>984525
Go for it.
I hate most of this shit because I hate bullying.

>> No.984534

>>984525
>>984531
Fucking yukkuri lovers, you disgust me.

>> No.984537
File: 108 KB, 298x673, 1215742570976.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
984537

>>984525
Hmm.. why not? I'd read that.

>> No.984543

I wonder if Yukkuris give good head.

>> No.984551

>>984537
You're missing a panel.

>> No.984550

>>984543
Well, the floating penis did jizz all over it.

>> No.984557

I'm not gonna read your stories.

I do however wish to have a baby Yukkuri.

>> No.984566

>>984557
That could be quite difficult, for a variety of reasons.

>> No.984575

It's not that it's badly written, but why the hell would you write a serious/emotional story about a yukkuri?

The fact this hasn't been overly saged blows my mind... Write whatever you want to write about, I guess, just seems like a combination that just doesn't work, and a complete waste of whatever talent you have.

>> No.984580

>>984525
>>984537

You know what, if you can honestly portray Yukkuri in a lovable manor, I will give up bullying for life.

>> No.984613

Try to avoid recurring phrases like "It dies, it rots" - it's a very amatuer technique that doesn't belong in a story. A poem, at best.

I know what you're trying to do by using it, but I'd advise getting out of the habbit.

>> No.984637

Thanks for the feedback, Anon. Second half comes tomorrow or Saturday.

>>984580
Guro comes later. Today was just an intro that went on longer than planned.

>>984613
Will do. Thanks.

>> No.984638

>>984580
>lovable manor

Like the Scarlet Devil Manor?

>> No.984687
File: 103 KB, 600x450, 1215744658069.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
984687

>>984389
>>984392
>>984383
>>984384
>>984386
I'm looking forward to see more from you. Specially if you include guro.

>> No.984728

It's a small little thing, isn't it? A tiny little box with holes in the top, an ever slight sound; a snore. The rain didn't even wake it.

Walking home from the factory like I did every day, I contemplated the tiny life I held under my arm. Outstanding workers were occasionally given teenage yukkuris as "stress relief". I had shuddered at that phrase, and shuddered even more when I realized they considered me a good employee at that place. What would the other workers think if they knew what I was going to do with it? What WAS I going to do with it?

Home at last. Small apartment, but it was home. I set the box gently on a table and slowly got to work on making a small dinner for myself. It didn't take long, but as I was walking back to the table to enjoy it, I saw it was awake and escaped from it's box.

"Hay mister! Where am I?"

I nearly melted.

"Where's mommy? Are you daddy?"

It took every ounce of the man in me to stifle a cry. I set my dinner on the table and took a moment to give her a good look-over. A yukkuri Marisa, at first glance. She was smaller than my head, but was old enough to have grown her hat completely. It's eyes attested to it's stupidity, but conveyed confusion and fear as well.

Fear. I should probably comfort it.

>> No.984748

>>984728
This better turn into sex.

>> No.984758

>>984748
I was actually thinking of stopping it there. Kind of like the short comedy at the end of Greek theater, amid the many dramas.

>> No.984762

>>984748
Ditto.

>> No.984766

>>984758
Ah cmon, Porn Yukkuri is in very low quantity.

>> No.984773

A whole bean bun gives you headjobs thing is completely shitting dicknipples.

>> No.984775

>>984748
>This better turn into sex. Then a highly detailed, long session yukkuri torturing and maiming.

>> No.984781

>>984762
>>984766
>>984748
Good lord, people. I was trying to portray a yukkuri as cute and innocent, not "OH GOD LET'S FUCK IT" sexy.

>> No.984788

>>984781
I fail to see the difference.

>> No.984794

>>984781
There's a difference?

>> No.984790

>>984781
SO MOE I'M GONA fap

>> No.984797

>>984781

>I was trying to portray a yukkuri as cute and innocent, not "OH GOD LET'S FUCK IT" sexy.

I'm not seeing a difference. Except the fact I'd much rather fuck the former.

>> No.984798

>>984788
>>984790
>>984794
Oh wow, that's a forehead slapper. I totally forgot. Yeah, I'll put a yukkuri as mega-gar next time and see if that works any better.

>> No.984830

>>984798
You will n-!
Oh, wait. Gar, the fish? As in, fish food? FUCK YES!

>> No.984836

>>984479
>>984537
>>984479
>>984537
>>984479
>>984537
>>984479
>>984537
who does these ones? i see them all of the time but cannot find a source where you can get them or more like them. anyone know?

>> No.984838

>>984728
Nice short and not bad.
Thanks.

The depravity of pretty much everyone else here is unfortunate.

>> No.984840

>>984537
/r/ translation

>> No.984924

>>984836
This guy uploads his stuff to http://thewaterducts.sakura.ne.jp/cgi-bin/up/upload.html

>> No.985103
File: 709 KB, 500x1932, 1215751479799.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
985103

holy shit...

>> No.985119

>>985103

Brace for awesome.

>> No.985123

>>985103
Boorrring.

>> No.985127

This is all far too boring. I'm going to go look at guro porn of children being torn apart, and the torn chunks fucked.
And then the process is repeated for eternity.

>> No.985139

Why aren't they dropping dead easy?

>> No.985147

>>985139
Because all of the horrible sadism around here has been attracting nice and kind people.

>> No.985154

>>985147

I'm actually generally a sadist, but I only want to pamper yukkuris. I think everyone who wants to mistreat them is sick.

>> No.985160

>>985154
>>985154
>>985154
>>985154
i'm not really a sadist, but holy shit, when i see those things i just want to rip them apart.

>> No.985165

>>985160
>>985160
continued: it must be something psychological that lives inside of us all. like how most people have a fear of spiders for NO apparent reason.

>> No.985192

I wouldn't really mind a Yukkuri.
Unless it pees on my rug.
My rugs tie the room together.

>> No.985193

>>985160
Ditto.
I'm usually a calm person but i just have this strange urge to bully and torture them.
Wtf is wrong with me?

>> No.985226

I have some understanding of both sides. They're obnoxious pests, but damn they can be cute. (The Koyukkuri especially, like most babies.)

Now you've got me tempted to put together my own attempt at Yukkuri adoption/raising. Time for some research, then...

>> No.985246

>>985243
I think they're nice.

>> No.985243

>>985165

Spiders are the most horrible thing to ever exist in this world and need to be eradicated. That's plenty of reason.

>> No.985253

>>985243

Spiders are a sinister alien race sent to take over Earth. Arachnophobia is just our human instincts warning us that we are looking at something not of this world...

>> No.985256
File: 15 KB, 403x305, 1215754008848.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
985256

>>985243
Say what you want, this motherfucker right here's adorable.

ADORABLE.

>> No.985261

>>984383

Tarantula's would be pretty awesome if I didn't know they were more hairy than fuzzy and if you crack 'em open bug juice and spider flesh would pour out.

>> No.985263

I don't understand how they're obnoxius.
They just wana take it easy, eat, sleep, and play.
Alot like me, really.

>> No.985269

I for one prefer adult yukkuris abuse/caretaking. Don't know why though.

>> No.985265
File: 65 KB, 519x680, 1215754211302.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
985265

Ironically, spiders generally EAT pests. It's just the venom that made them dangerous to humans.

You want a real pest, look for an honest-to-god parasite. Tapeworms, anyone?

I suppose I should have added "mammalian" to my previous post, but yukkuri only roughly meet that in external appearance...

>> No.985267

>>985256

Oh, yeah, the big ones aren't bad. I'd be cool with a tarantula for a pet.

It's the littler ones that need to be sent back to the foul hell that spawned them.

>> No.985279
File: 326 KB, 1044x1441, 1215754311137.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
985279

>>985263

That must be it, then. People want to bully yukkuris because they hate themselves. Those who want to pamper them have high self-esteem.

>> No.985275

most people aren't ever bothered by most everyday insects like flies, grasshoppers, mantises, even surprisingly cockroaches... i mean they may find them annoying but not scary.... but the moment that even the smallest spider climbs up your leg or even your shoe it's like "HOLY SHIT FUCK! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!"

>> No.985283

>>985275
I kill all insects on sight.
but I feel pity for these Yukkuri things, even though they arn't real, like insects.

>> No.985282
File: 16 KB, 320x285, 1215754402572.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
985282

>>985267
That's another thing I've noticed, people hate the leeetle baby spiders more than the bigger ones.
Which doesn't really make much sense to me.

>> No.985284

>>985279
Go back to the grave, Freud.

Anyway, I've been keeping my personal demons in check, so I'm not a sadist. I just want them to bounce around and take it easy!

>> No.985285

I would never harm a yukkuri. You all are sick fucks.

>> No.985292

Describing them as soulless gluttons takes away from the fun of bullying them.
If you are merely describing organisms that pursue needs based on priority then, you may as well tell us about how you pissed on an anthill or all about all the mean things you did to Sims.
Even your depiction of them being cute falters a bit because the speaker and therefore the reader aren't allowed to identify with the yukkuri. Indeed why would the Factory worker take care of a yukkuri if not to just fatten it up for eating late?

>> No.985293

>>985275

I'm kinda bothered by roaches, they're disgusting. Flies I guess are disgusting too but they just don't bother me much. Except the big ones because they're fucking LOUD and they like to land on my monitor. Mantises are fucking awesome and definitely not an "everyday insect" for me.

Generally anything that is gross or can bite me is something I don't like. Fucking silverfish creep me the fuck out. And house centipedes oh god. But nothing is worse than a spider. Nothing.

>> No.985298

>>985293
>>985293
>>985293
>>985293
you take what you said about house centipedes back!!!!!

>> No.985309

>>985282

FUCK THAT ONE IS HORRIBLE I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT BIG ONES

>> No.985310

>>985282
Well, the little tiny ones are sneaky fuckers. They can hide in your keyboard and shit. The big ones you can keep track of, they don't hide under shit.

>> No.985305

centipedes

>> No.985317

>>985293

Oh fuck I hate house centipedes so much. Fuckers have like eight million legs. If I ever come into possession of a gun, I'll end up shooting holes in my floor whenever I see one.

>> No.985319

>>985310

in b4 clockspider

>> No.985327

>>985309
Banana spiders are mean fuckers.
I'm sure I wouldn't kill one though, that'd be really ucky.
Imagine all the juice splattered about, euuurgh.

>> No.985328

>>985317
>>985317
>>985317
are you aware that this just creates extra holes that allow even MORE CENTIPEDES TO COME ON IN?!?!?!

>>
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