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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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9513257 No.9513257[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

-The /jp/er looked up at his mother and father, his own eyes perfectly clear-he felt very different. He felt very alive, for the first time in so very long-

mom, dad i had this LAMe dream. i drmt that i ws this loser wh actualy WANTEd to ebe a slave 2 society foreer n have girlfriends and stuff. GIRLS! girls r nuthing walkin chemical toilets, and real men are disgusting. n i dreamed tht i gactualy hated my life and didnt caer about 2hu. ARE U SHITING ME? my life is ht best posible. i relax al day and play videgames and ergoe and read manga and watch anime and dont let SOCTY tell ME what to fuckin do like some loser. of course, u to are siting cring like im gona die when i told u i dont even care. i dont care if i die stil. life sucks and fuck u both for having me. it scks i cant stimulate my postate for a wile, but, whtever. u made sure to put my gendr down as FEMALE, right mom? right? you KNOW that im relay a girl and not a boy, i just was born one! u put me as a male cause it said sex? MOM. Make sure they understand. and i wont eat disgusting western hosptial food. makes ure to bring me my tea and i want SHIN RAMYUN not DISGUSTIng, unhealhy WESTRN AMEIRCAN fuckin food!

God. and dont lok at my computer but bring it. and i odnt want the doctor and nurse in here al the time tel them not to lok me in the yes when they talk to me. i cnt belive i have to be in this DUMB hospital. mom? dont touch anything in my rom okay?

>> No.9513265
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9513265

Actually, sweetie, we have something important to tell you. Since you aren't on our insurance anymore, none of this was covered. We're going to have to pay for this out of pocket-but, see, me and your father can't afford it. And we really have too many bills-you're going to have to take care of it on your own. The total cost is about 70,000 dollars-you'll have to get into a payment plan with them. And-Honey, you've been speaking very frankly in front of the nurses, despite the fact that you claim to have such extreme social anxiety that you need to be on disability. I heard the nurse talking about fraud, too-Honey, I'm scared for you, but, there's really nothing we can do for you...you can still live at home, if you're not...heaven forbid, imprisoned, but you'll need to get a job after you've healed and all. The doctor says you'll make a full recovery, so you're not going to qualify for disability again, either.
Yes, hon, I know it's an entitlement program, and the whole supreme court ruling, but see, fraud is still illegal. I'm afraid you're probably in a lot of trouble-but you can come back home if you-you know, go to prison-and live with us while you work as a cook, or a cashier, or a dishwasher or whatever. You can stay with mom and dad until you pay off your debt to the hospital.

>> No.9513281
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9513281

I know this is all very rough and sudden and it will be hard for us all-but, look on the bright side! This is just what you need to grow up! You'll finally become a real, working adult, sweetie! And thank God you weren't permanently injured!

Your father looks especially happy-but don't worry, he's only happy because this means you can develop as a member of society now. He's not happy that you might be going to jail, and that we won't have to deal with you for several years.

I bet you wished you hadn't decided to play with butt with that plunger, huh, sweetie? One day we'll all have a good laugh about this!

>> No.9513292
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9513292

-For the first time in the /jp/ers short-but-too-long life, he knew true fear, and the cold, harsh realities of the world that he had hidden and truncated with a fantasy realm. As he watched his mother try to hide her smile, and heard his father chuckle and laugh excitedly while clutching his mother, he felt his body grow cold-despite the opiates coursing through his body, he felt nothing but displeasure and a sense of complete abandonment. He opened his trembling lips, and felt his eyes tingle-he hadn't cried in years. But now he did. His tears streamed down his face, as his mother chewed on her bottom lip, and his father howled in laughter. Truly, he hated them both for having melded their DNA and producing him. Truly, the /jp/er had lost at life. Truly, the /jp/er hated it all. He hates it. He hates it. He hates it.-

A few months later, the /jp/er was tried for fraud and found guilty. He killed himself by shoving the plunger by the toilet in his cell into his anus and snapping it, bleeding to death on the bottom bunk as he cursed his mother and father. He left a single folded piece of paper taped to his chest as a suicide note that the warden found the next day, and gave to his parents. As instructed by the front of the paper, they opened it once they were alone.

"fuck u mom and dad"

>> No.9513310

>>9513292
>>9513281
>>9513265
>>9513257
SAMEFAGET

>> No.9513314

fuck you OP

>> No.9513316
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9513316

>> No.9513330
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9513330

Nice.
Epic.
I like it.

>> No.9513337

>>9513310

No shit you fucking detective.

Do you also go up to people on the street with brown hair and say "YOU HAVE BROWN HAIR".

>> No.9513343

>>9513337
u mad, brah?

>> No.9513344

>>9513337

He's autistic so he does.

>> No.9513350

#nice
#epic
#i like it

>> No.9513357

>>9513343
u kwoted a post that ends in 13337
YOUR FUCKED ;D

>> No.9513372

I don't think this guy will be the new Dave Chapelle.

>> No.9513431

-The musician looked up at the club owners, his own eyes perfectly clear-he felt very different. He felt very alive, for the first time in so very long-

sir i had this LAMe dream. i drmt that i ws this loser wh actualy WANTEd to ebe a slave 2 society foreer n work for da white man and stuff. JAZZ! jazz my ticket outta this dump, and haulin coal is disgusting. n i dreamed tht i gactualy hated my life and didnt caer about music. ARE U SHITING ME? my life is ht best posible. i relax al day and play horn and trumpet and read paper and watch dancin grls and dont let SOCTY tell ME what to fuckin do like some loser. of course, u to are siting cring like im gona die when i told u i dont even care. i dont care if i die stil. black life sucks and fuck u both for hiring me.
- Sorry, my enthusiasm gave out

>> No.9513528

What did you do for your birthday?

>> No.9513530
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9513530

impressive work anon
I am not even joking
10/10 who ever made it

>>
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