/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Dark Saber !!Q91UCZy6uN6 No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Dose

[Anonymous No.]

daily

[Anonymous No.]

etc

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Gotta have my Touhou

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>922534
TWIST

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>922534

What a tweest!

[Anonymous No.]

Yu!

[Anonymous No.]

>>922543
why are there 2 alices?

[Anonymous No.]

>>922547
i thought they were dead?

[Anonymous No.]

>>922547

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>922550


Allegorical references, Anon. Do you understand them?

[Anonymous No.]

>>922550

Yukkuris are breeding.

[Anonymous No.]

>>922550
The fuckers reproduce like mad.

[Anonymous No.]

What's going on in here?

[Anonymous No.]

By the way, Yukkureimu and Yukkurisa = bean paste buns. Yukkuri Remi = meat bun. Yukkuri Patchouli = ?

[Anonymous No.]

I doubt anyone can actually bully the Yukkuris in OP

[Anonymous No.]

>>922757
All Yukkuris are harmless to normal people. Even Flandre Yukkuri.

[Anonymous No.]

>>922786
I think I read a story where a Remi or Frandoll yukkuri bit its owner.

[Anonymous No.]

>>922809
All right, let it be "almost harmless". You'd still beat the paste outta them.

[Dark Saber !!Q91UCZy6uN6 No.]

[Anonymous No.]

What exactly is the biological status of Yukkuris.

I only remember that they have Crying Moe and are made out of Bean paste (and certain kinds are actually meat buns)

[Anonymous No.]

>>922672
milk bun

[Anonymous No.]

-They breathe, eat, see, hear and move (by bouncing off the ground), yet, they have no organ systems to speak of.
-They have less intelligence than an animal of their size. (Pic related)
-"Normal" yukkuris have the estimate size and weight of a basketball. There are "big" ones (roughly human sized) and "fat" ones (they are slighly bigger than the normal ones and look fatter)
-They have "crying moe": they "force" normally good humans into pinching, bullying or otherwise making the yukkuri cry.
-They usually live for two months.
-Two smaller yukkuris emerge from the remains of a dead one.
-Two yukkuris can entertain each other. However, if you leave one alone for a long time, it will feel lonely and will die.
-They are filled with pasta beans. This means they can be eaten.
-They may attack by goring. However, their low speed (human walking speed), soft "skin" and low mass makes this a negligible attack (as damaging as a slight tap on your shoulder)
-You can kill them quite easily, and that you'll find yourself doing a lot, because of their power.
-If a yukkuri becomes hungry or horny, it will eat/rape other yukkuris, promptly forget it did so, and blame the nearest living being. By the way, they become horny by being shaken.

[Anonymous No.]

-There are several theories about their reproduction. One is through the remains of a dead one, another is that they inflate with bean paste and then eject the koyukkuris from their mouth, and another is that the "recipient" in copulation will expire, and a small yukkuri tree will sprout from them, from which 10-15 yukkuris will come out.
-Upon coming to your house, they tend to demand food, and then declare the place to be their own. (And demand that you go away if you can't take it easy). Only through physical coercion can they be corrected.
-Taking it easy is the highest priority for them. "You can take it easy" is the ultimate compliment, whereas "you can't take it easy" is the ultimate insult coming from them. You can gain their trust or lure them with a proposition of taking it easy together.
-If a yukkuri manages to live for many years, it develops a somewhat sarcastic personality, becoming even more frustrating to deal with. Upon being told that you will e.g. catch them, they will answer "He says he's going to catch me. Ooh, scary, scary."
-Upon being fed, they will either start trusting you completely, or consider you their servant.
-They dissolve in water. It is unknown if they can drink it.
-There's a fourth species of Yukkuri: "mutated". These, while they look like normal Yukkuris with a small, complete body where it should be, are in fact normal Touhous infected with a "Yukkuri virus". Everything about it except its existence is unknown.

[Anonymous No.]

Yukkuri is just someone's cute art style getting meme'd into Touhou. End of story

[Anonymous No.]

>>922893
No, it's just the beginning.

[Anonymous No.]

>>922879
>>922884

Thanks, Copypastaed so I don't have to ask again

>>922893

That's not the end of the story, you just stopped caring after that.

[Anonymous No.]

I wish they could be real.

[Anonymous No.]

>>922884
They can drink water, and even dive for a short time. Getting soaked is what causes their skin to expand and eventually dissolve. By the way, once it expands, there's no way to return it to normal.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>922964

DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

[Anonymous No.]

How to make them eat vegetables.

[Anonymous No.]

>>922973
HIT THE BURNERS PILOT!

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>923458
When you see it...

[Anonymous No.]

>>923466
Is that a grenade?

[Anonymous No.]

>>923466
The mine?

[Anonymous No.]

Fuck you, just FUCK YOU. Stop posting yukkuri hate doujins.

JUST FUCK YOU GODDAMMIT.

[Anonymous No.]

Still neeeds more stories. Let's pray to our god, the summary guy.

[Dark Saber !!Q91UCZy6uN6 No.]

[Dark Saber !!Q91UCZy6uN6 No.]

[Dark Saber !!Q91UCZy6uN6 No.]

[Dark Saber !!Q91UCZy6uN6 No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>922547
Isn't it sad Alice? ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

> Yukkuri is just someone's cute art style getting meme'd into Touhou. End of story

Correct, this is the proto-yukkuri.

[Anonymous No.]

>>923995
Anon has a weird hobby: cooking yukkuris. One day, he finds a family, Yukkurisa and Yukkureimu are the parents, and the kids are mixed. He takes them home, where they act somewhat restrained, unlike the regular yukkuri. He then tells the kids that he's going to give them a bath. He washes them ("It's cold, but it feels gweat!!!") and puts them in a pot to boil them. At first they enjoy it, but later they start melting, and exclaim that they can't take it easy. The parents are on to something, and ask him what he's doing to their kids. "Huh? I'm gonna eat them, of course." Cue the screams, but surprisingly, they beg him to eat them instead. This is quite surprising, as the average yukkuri would gladly sacrifice its children to ensure its own safety. He lifts them and shows them the pot. "We don't need dinner, where are our kids!!?" "They're soup now." Cue even more screaming. He then washes them too, puts one in the fridge to make yukkuri sorbet, and roasts the other one whole. He was surprised by the fact that they never begged for their lives, but glared at him until the very end.

[Anonymous No.]

>>924184

In the prequel to this, many years ago, we see another Anon, who is a yukkuri breeder, one who bridges the gap between yukkuris and humans. The job requires extreme patience, as he has to repeat phrases to yukkuris for days on end, until they learn them. We see him trying to teach a proper greeting to a Yukkureimu/Yukkurisa couple. After a week, they've gotten the "Nice to meet you" part down, but the "please allow me to take it easy" is too hard for them. He has failed to teach this to all the other yukkuris. Suddenly, he gets the inspiration to change it to "Please take it easy in your home". They learn it, and he's ecstatic. However, as soon as they complete their training, he has to let them return to the wild, to spread the culture. Before that, he spends a whole day with them, and tells them that they're his favorite students, and he'll never forget them. These two are the couple in the above story, and this is the reason they were cultured.

Note: These summaries can't really convey the atmosphere of the originals. They're far more brutal.

[Anonymous No.]

/jp/ needs more yukkuri guro. It's the only good thing that has spawned from this hideously retarded fad.

[Anonymous No.]

Also, this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>924188
>>924184

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

I wonder how far does the intelligence of a Yukkuri goes.
You can train them to do something and to speak, but I wonder if that Alice comics is possible considering Yukkuri standards.

[Anonymous No.]

>>924201

wow this is somehow awesome

[Anonymous No.]

>>924201
Please, let it have more guro...

[Anonymous No.]

>>924201
MAI RAYMOOOOO~ ;_;
Now you've gone too far....

[Anonymous No.]

>>924201
2 - Easy...
-Let's take it easy!
-N-no...
3 - Hold it!
-Yu?
4 - Marisa!
-Don't touch Reimu, you dirty manjuu!!
-Grrr! Don't bother me!
-Get lost easy!
5 - Master Spaaark!!
-Yuuuuu-!!
6 - Yu-!?
7 - I was so scared, Marisa!!
-It's okay now, Reimu...

[Anonymous No.]

>>924201
Realistic Yukkuri is ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WANT!

>>924279
Editing...

[Anonymous No.]

>>924208
The Yukkurisa has been shown to posess an intellect greater than most other yukkuris.

[Anonymous No.]

>>922547
Fucking hate this comic.

[Anonymous No.]

Love this comic. I give it 10/10.

[Anonymous No.]

>>924350

[Anonymous No.]

Don't care, still love it :3

[Anonymous No.]

Anon comes home and, as usual, finds a Remirya in hos room. He notes that it's probably spoiled by the SDM. It's having fun, but it suddenly starts crying and demands sweets. It opens his fridge, but he claims that since he's a tough guy, he has no sweets in his fridge. He sees, however, that all the food is gone. "I did 'poi' with all the nasty stuff!!! I threw them like 'poi' in the toilet!!!" It still demands pudding, and threatens to tell Sakuya. Upon opening the bag he brought from the supermarket, it notes that there's no pudding there, and throws everything in the toilet. Except the beer, which it cuts its finger on. He gets pissed, and takes its umbrella. He then hammers it on the head, and it starts shouting for Sakuya to beat him and bring pudding. He hits it again, and ties it up. It struggles, but then he reminds it that it has wings. (Okay.) It tries to fly away, but he dumps a pile of clothes filled with warmers on it. He dumps it out of the window, and notes that in the one week it'll take it to get back home, it'll have forgotten what to tell Sakuya.

[Anonymous No.]

>>924453

Back in the SDM, we learn that Meiling cooked a stir-fry, but Remirya did "poi"ed it in the toilet. Apparently, it tastes every food in the house, even if it's not for itself. Meiling tried to put Remirya in the toilet too, but she was interrupted by Sakuya. She was denied food for the day, and had to watch Remirya cannibalize the pastries. The next day, as she's starving, Remirya comes back. She's hallucinating due to the hunger, and starts eating. She pauses when she realizes what it is, but then she finishes it. We then see Sakuya with the real Remilia, who is in fact a Remirya with manners, who eats vegetables. How the mighty have fallen.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>924515
What? Wait. Now they're beginning to look like normal Touhous?
Damn.

[Anonymous No.]

>>924368 :3
Kill yourself faggot.

[Anonymous No.]

>>924524
That must be a rare mutation.It probably ate flowers from Medicine's hill or something.

[Anonymous No.]

>>924531
Mutagenic flowers, huh?
Well, if those flowers make Yukkuris smarter and more realistic, it is GAME OVER for those guro Yukkuri comics we all love so much.

[Anonymous No.]

>>924540
Whatever it is, it's probably an exception. I doubt the guro will decrease, the audience is too dedicated.

[Dark Saber !!Q91UCZy6uN6 No.]

[Anonymous No.]

aged

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>926433
Look at that reaction. They inflate when angry now?

[Anonymous No.]

SUMMARY ANON, WHERE ART THOU

[Anonymous No.]

Reposting this from last night.

[Anonymous No.]

>>924198
Fapping. Source? First part is here:
http://tennkoma.blog92.fc2.com/

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>926490
Nope. Not as arousing as the other guro comics...

[Anonymous No.]

>>926490
fuck

[Anonymous No.]

>>924453
>Anon comes home and, as usual, finds a Remirya in hos room.
>in hos room.
>hos

Sanae is my daughter?

[Anonymous No.]

China the the greatest bully ever.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>926480
Here, I plan to make a few more summaries tomorrow. I also found one fic that touched me, and I'll try to translate it entirely. Keyword being "try". Here's two more, for now:

A Yukkureimu family, 10 kids and the mother, is taking a walk in the forest. They encounter Anon, the mother is wary, but he wins them over with sweets and brings them home. There's a slide, water, food, and anything a yukkuri could desire. There's also no windows, and the doors are locked, but never mind, let's have fun. Anon offers to cook something for the mother, and takes the two youngest babies to help him. A while later, he returns with two rice dumplings, saying that the babies are sleeping. (Sure.) The mother eats half of both, but Anon interrupts and plays a handkerchief trick on them, replacing one of the kids with a cookie, which they greedily eat. The mother screams "Reimu ate Reimu!!!" but he then reveals it's just sleight of hand. He does the same with all the others. He then puts something on the base of the slide, and tells them that with the next magic trick, they'll turn into manjuu. Three of them slide down it, and get skewered by something. He then takes three manjuu he had hidden and feeds them to the kids. But wait, there's three more. He throws the dead bodies to them. Silence. Then screams. They all throw up, but Anon was expecting it and goes around, stuffing each one's vomit back into its mouth for a few minutes. He then shows the mother what exactly the rice dumplings were. She throws up, as do all the others. He then stuffs the vomit back in one last time, and seals their mouths with packing tape. He then gets a business call, and leaves them there for the night. To be continued (possibly).

[Anonymous No.]

>>926533
WHO WAS HOS?

[Anonymous No.]

>>926633
>let's take it easy

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Another Anon finds the usual Yukkureimu invasion upon returning home. When he tells them it's not their house, they start bumping him. They seem to be using some kind of strategy, so when four of them go behind him, he pretends to get knocked out. The yukkuris celebrate, until they realize that he's crushing one of their sisters. They try to push him away, he rolls over, crushing it. They scream. He gets up and tastes some of the bean paste, saying it's great. "That's not bean paste, its my child's insides!!!" He says it's tasty, and the mother should try some too. He closes its eyes, and when it complains it's dark, he stuffs some in its mouth. "This bean paste is tasty!!!" "It's not bean paste, it's your child." "...GRAAAAAAAH!!!" After a while, utterly broken, it says that they can't take it easy there anymore, so they're going to leave, okay? Anon proposes that they live in his bathroom. They go in, happy that they've found a place with a constant water source. All the kids end up playing in the toilet. They start to expand, and they're begging the mother to take them out. It sees that it can't, and asks Anon. He shows it a certain rope, and says that if it pulls it, they might get out. It does, and they get flushed down the toilet. Relief to utter horror in 30 seconds. He then takes the screaming and howling mess outside,and shows it the flushed children that are drifting down the river (that's where the sewage system went), while fish are shacking on them. It jumps in. Anon then goes home to write down an account of the event, overdramatizing it a bit, so he can enter a writing competition whose winner gets a date with Aya as a prize.

[Anonymous No.]

>>926684
>snacking

I need some sleep.

[Anonymous No.]

>>926684
>whose winner gets a date with Aya as a prize
Quite the reward there.

[Anonymous No.]

>>926696
-The Things Anon Will Do to Get Some-

[Anonymous No.]

>>926692
Go get some sleep. Sleep is good for you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>926708
I KNEW YOU WOULD COME

BUT YOU WILL NOT CATCH ME

[Anonymous No.]

I assume this is based on the fic about yukkuris learning how to grow vegetables.

-Uuu!!! This is Remirya's field!!!

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>926762
This is an accurate depiction of a Remirya feeding.

[Anonymous No.]

I love how yukkuri bullying has been the biggest source of original from Anon in months.

[Anonymous No.]

>>926773
Fuck, that should be "original content"

[Anonymous No.]

>>926633
So there were six babies and the mother left, if I counted right.

>>926684
Yukkuri mothers will actually try to protect its children? I thought it was "eat it, not me!"

[Anonymous No.]

>>926773
I forget. Is Remirya the mutated Remilia or the advanced Yukkuremi that has grown itself a stubby body and stubby limbs?

[Anonymous No.]

>>926980
The bigger surprise is how the mother may not even remember that they are its personal children. Yukkuri develop a seniority ranking that is entirely size-based - an old Yukkuri will probably not remember much, but, if it is small, it is still a "child" of any or all large Yukkuri that cluster together with it, regardless of the large Yukkuri's age. It's possible, in a group where there is only one large Yukkuri at a given time, it has a fair inkling that all the smaller Yukkuri that surround it are its own children; but, for the most part, whether a "mother" or "children" are defined, it literally means "large Yukkuri" and "small Yukkuri."

Yukkuri will defend each other too - it's a part of their built in tendency to avoid being lonely. They cluster together and forget how long they've been together, hence it will seem like they've always been together and they'll try to stay that way.

The big question is whether one Yukkuri can distinguish between two Yukkuri of the same size and type.

[Anonymous No.]

>>927007
Mutated Remilia
This is the actual Yukkuremilia

[Anonymous No.]

Was there ever a second part to this?

Anon loves Yukkuris, and is raising a yukkuri Reimu, which is relatively civilized. One day, he sees a group of villagers lynching a group of yukkuris that destroyed a plantation. They kill all of them except for one Yukkurisa, which Anon picks up and takes home. After feeding it, he wants to talk to it, but it asks him to leave it alone since it's taking it easy at the moment. Before he can respond, his Yukkureimu put it in its place. It insists that the plantation was theirs, since they found it, and this home is also its own. Anon decides to housebreak it. He takes it outside, so as not to scare his Yukkureimu, asks it whose house it is, and when it claims it's its own, he stomps it, pushing out a third of its bean paste. He then asks it again, and when it gives the wrong answer again, he throws it into a lake. The fish start eating it, and it begs him to get it out. When it's on the verge of fainting, he picks it up. He asks it again, and since it still hasn't learned, he drops it back in. It continues to beg, and he tells it exactly what its mistake was. It apologises for both claiming his house and destroying the plantation. He then takes it out and says "I heard there are dogs and Remiryas here. Oh well, good luck! I'm going home." It can't move, but it begs him to take it along.

[Anonymous No.]

cute Remi is cute

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

and thus, justice has been served

[Anonymous No.]

>>927089

How do you lynch something that's only a head?

[Anonymous No.]

Is there an archive/compilation of all the text-based summaries that Summary Anon has done?

[Anonymous No.]

>>927409
Surround it and kick it around. Yukkuri Patchouli was more susceptible to this, as their physical condition isn't as good as that of the other yukkuris.

>>927089
No, that was a relatively new one, and I don't remember seeing a "to be continued" note. It's possible, but there's not much to expand upon; Anon is now living with a civilized Yukkureimu and a physically and mentally broken Yukkurisa.

>>926980
Five babies, actually. They were ten, two were made into rice dumplings, and three were skewered.

Mothers will try to protect their children, but out of instinct; they won't say e.g. "take me instead of them". They will also gladly eat them if they're hungry.

>>927007
The authors are divided on this subject, we've seen both. Remilia's treatment of the Remiryas is also varied.

Trivia: Yukkuri Flandres tend to keep barely alive Yukkuris skewered on the branches of the tree they live in.

[Anonymous No.]

So yukkuris officially eat grass now?

[Anonymous No.]

>>928561
Normally, they eat just about anything. The wild ones eat flowers, grass, bugs, fruit etc. The Remiryas and the Flandres are exceptions, as they eat other yukkuris.

[Anonymous No.]

Also, this.