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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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8956664 No.8956664 [Reply] [Original]

Hey /jp/, how do I eat a whole hamburger in one bite?

>> No.8956674

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tUe071PhuA

>> No.8956675

1) Bake a really small hamburger
2) Eat it

>> No.8956669

Shove it up yo ass.

>> No.8956677

Ask someone to chew it up for you go mouth to mouth to finish the rest.

>> No.8956688

>>8956669
this

or else find one of those really tiny hamburgers that's 90% bun and fake barbecue sauce, of course you could still shove that up your ass I guess

>> No.8956689
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8956689

>>8956675
>Bake
>Hamburger

>> No.8956701

Unhinge your jaw like a snake. Choking to death is optional.

>> No.8956700

>>8956677
ugh, like, eew

listen, that is a first-world problem, okay? First-world solution would be to use a blender

>> No.8956747

>>8956689

Used to bake a batch of hamburgers at time when I lived with my parents.

All I had was a stove with no range, and freezer FULL of beef patties.

>> No.8956790

I remember when burger control was practiced.

>> No.8956801
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8956801

>>8956747
amazed you survived, those frozen pre-pattied things aren't really grade-A beef, they're dogfood grade beef, and supposedly their being sold raw and frozen means that's okay

when in actual fact, you would probably hurt your health really badly forcing yourself to eat just half of one of those smelly things regardless of how thoroughly well-done

>> No.8956820

Be American

>> No.8956824
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8956824

become a touhou

>> No.8956835

>>8956801

I'm sure fast food is much worse.
No, I'm positive.

>> No.8956837

>>8956824
S-semen burger? i also want one..

>> No.8956848

>>8956824
Isn't that her Ghost part?

>> No.8956862
File: 576 KB, 708x850, Okuu hamburger.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8956862

>>8956824
This

>> No.8956868

>>8956824

That's a disgusting amount of mayonnaise

>> No.8956873

>>8956868

because any amount of mayonnaise is disgusting

>> No.8956889
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8956889

>>8956674
fucking disgusting american

>> No.8956905
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8956905

I bet Kanako could do it.

>> No.8956918

>>8956905
Too lewd

>> No.8957003

>>8956824

why boner.

>> No.8957007
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8957007

>>8957003
burgers are sexy.

>> No.8957072
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8957072

HAMBURGER

BEDS

>> No.8957525

>>8956801
You are beyond wrong. Frozen patties are pre-cooked. The quality of the meat is indeed low (and half of it isn't actually meat), but all that affects is taste, not health (unless patties are made out of different stuff where you live). Also, hamburger patties, frozen or fresh, are actually pretty decent food, healthier than for example bacon and most kinds of sausages. The reason fast food hamburgers (the whole thing with buns and all) are so unhealthy is mostly because of all the sauce and extra junk on them.

>> No.8957839

>>8957525
Well, like the last half of what you said there is accurate.

But read the box on the frozen patties, they're not cooked.

Maybe you're thinking of those convenience store burgers, the ones with "textured soy protein" in them? Those are actually good for you, same deal with "pink slime," it's cheap-o and weird but it just makes the final beef-like product leaner.

>> No.8957854

>>8956868
That's not mayonnaise! I came on her burger! She looks shocked because she just realized that she's eating my warm, sticky cum!

>> No.8958032

>>8957839
I guess it's different in the US, then. In the Netherlands, frozen hamburgers are technically completely edible if you simply defrost them, you only have to cook (or throw them in a deep fryer, etc) them to make them not taste terrible.

>> No.8958274

>>8958032
>Netherlands
huh, I thought that was range-banned

>>
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