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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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8949745 No.8949745 [Reply] [Original]

Why haven't you thanked your mommy for helping you masturbate yet, /jp/?

>> No.8949748

He should slap her for having his penis mutilated.

>> No.8949762

>Needing lube
Those poor people.

>> No.8949774

>>8949762
I'm circumcised and have never felt the desire to use lube. I don't get it.

>> No.8949789

>>8949774
Seconding this.

>> No.8949794

I don't give a shit about your habits or your misfortune at being cut, but your mother is pretty good at euphemisms for masturbation. Did she look them all up?

>> No.8949811

Oh god, I steal lotion from a bunch of bottles my father keeps near his bed.

I hope he doesn't notice.

>> No.8949835

>>8949811
He probably uses them too you know.

>> No.8949963

>>8949762
I just sneeze on my dick

>> No.8949969

>>8949774

Using vaseline feels fucking awesome, and is the only cheap, commonly-available lotion that does anything good for you.

But yeah, I usually whack it without any lube. Lot less messy and quick-usually have harder orgasms, too.

>> No.8949974

Whoa it even has a ribbon. This is pretty much the most sarcastic thing ever.

>> No.8949981

I used to use my older sister's lotions. She'd always tell me to stop using her lotion to jack off but of course I always denied it. Then she gave me a bunch of lotion she no longer wanted and told me I could use it to masturbate. I never thanked her, I just kept denying masturbating.

>> No.8949985

>>8949745
That is down right pathetic. And hilarious.

>> No.8949986

>>8949981
It would be appropriate at this time to point out her desire for intercourse.

>> No.8949987

>>8949969
If you have Wal-Marts where you live, they make their own water-based lubricant, shit costs $2 and is better than that thick Vaseline shit. It's good for anal too.

>> No.8950015

>>8949987
> It's good for anal too.
Can you describe this is more detail?

>> No.8950022

>>8950015
He means it's a good lubricant for anal play.
Because when you go butt you have to lube up.

>> No.8950035

>>8950015
Let's say you're dating a hot 19 year old mulatto trap, the best one in town, with real DD tits because he's been taking hormones since age 12.
Well you squeeze some of that stuff on two fingers and spread it around. Spread his ass cheeks and slowly put your fingers in his anus until the knuckle, move your fingers around until it's all lubed up. Then you apply more lube onto your hard penis and press it against his anus. With minimal pressure your penis should slide right into his anal cavity, and you are then free to pound away at his ass until you feel the need to fill his anus with your semen.
If you're lucky, you might make him reach orgasm without touching his penis, and you can lick his cum off the bedsheets once you're done.
True story

>> No.8950061

>>8950035
Well that'll never happen.
;_;
I'd have him cum on my belly as he rides me.

>> No.8950067

>using lube for masturbation

Must be great living in the first world. I'm so happy for you.

>> No.8950146

>>8950035
Now I'm hard.

>> No.8950166

>>8950035
>If you're lucky, you might make him reach orgasm without touching his penis
It’s more fun to touch the penis though.

>> No.8950171

>>8950067

Who are you quoting you assfaggot get the fuck out of here. It doesn't even makes sense greentexting is for quoting parts of replies and answering/commentating them you assnigger go back to gaia maybe you are not familiar with Futaba?

>> No.8950177

D'aww, what a nice lady.

>> No.8950189

>>8950166
I usually did, but tranny's sometimes feel weird about that, he never even masterbated before in his life, so I was never able to make him cum with a handjob or oral. Once or twice I was able to make him cum orally, and once from an intense makeout session. So naturally I was eager to taste every drop of cum I could.

>> No.8950194

>>8950189
>Once or twice I was able to make him cum orally
Sorry, I meant anally.

>> No.8950192

>>8950171
You ought to work on your grammar.

>> No.8950198

>>8950189
Fuck off you disgusting slut.

>> No.8950202

>/jp/: gayest board on 4chan

>> No.8950204

>>8950198
>slut
But he/she/it was my girl/boyfriend.

>> No.8950219

>>8949745

OP clearly your mom wants to fuck.

>> No.8950223

>>8950219
Would you fuck your mom if she was attractive?

>> No.8950236

>>8950204
Why would that matter?

>> No.8950241

>>8950236
Because having sex with your partner isn't slutty? Are you dumb?

>> No.8950252
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8950252

Goddammit, /jp/.

I've been speeding for 14 hours straight and I've managed to avoid lewd thoughts that entire time. Now I see this thread and that letter gives me some lewd incest thoughts and I'm going to have to "wax the dolphin" but it will take about four hours and my hand is going to hurt so much.

>> No.8950257

>>8950252
Don't do it, Anonymous!
You are your own master!

>> No.8950263

>>8950223
> if she was attractive?

Why does this matter?

>> No.8950264

>>8950252
>4 hours
SSRIs?

>> No.8950266

>>8950252
What would your waifu think?

>>
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