The Protect Children From Internet Pornographers Act

[Anonymous No.]

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d112:h.r.1981:

This shit.

[Anonymous No.]

At least someone thought of the children

[Anonymous No.]

You know, I was infuriated by SOPA and PIPA but now I just don't give a shit anymore. I know it's probably what they were hoping for, but I just can't care.

It's obvious that they're going to manage to pass whatever the fuck they want by making melting pots out of random unrelated bills regardless of what the Internet has to say, so fuck it.

It's not like something being illegal has ever stopped me before.

[Anonymous No.]

They should ban cameras too, since you need them to make CP.

[Anonymous No.]

http://www.opensecrets.org/politicians/summary.php?cid=N00001811
This asshole.

[Anonymous No.]

Ordering loli doujinshi (or hell, visiting exhentai) was already illegal (punishable by at least five years in prison) but now ISPs will be required to keep records of everything you do on the internet for eighteen months.

Well, that's cool.

Guess you better download everything you need posthaste.

[Anonymous No.]

I've been following and trolling with this for months.
It won't pass. That's not being optimistic or whatever, it just literally will not pass.
You can relax.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506322
God forbid you take a picture of someone you don't know in public. God help your soul if some helicopter parent's child was in the corner of your shot. Most people honestly believe there are laws to stop people from taking pictures of anyone in public without their consent. Sadly, even law enforcement isn't educated a whole lot in this specific area of the lawbook.

Cameras might as well already be banned if this is how people are going to react to them.

It does help a bit if you're not akward/weird looking and you offer them a copy of the picture.

[Anonymous No.]

It's not a waiting game, it's a game of poker. Lamar Smith has a royal flush and few people know it.

SOPA may pass. It may not. He doesn't care, and it doesn't matter. The MPAA and RIAA started working on their legislative strategy to pass a new anti-piracy bill in late 2010. SOPA was designed to raise the noise. Everyone is playing right into the entertainment industries hand. The lobbyists are laughing manically at the ignorance of the mob. Even Wikipedia and reddit have played into it.

What people don't know about is the ace: H.R.1981, the Protecting Children From Internet Pornographers Act of 2011 which is lying in wait. It's not complete. You see, PCIP is not contestable because it's about protecting children. They can, and very well might, copy and paste the full text of SOPA to the end of PCIP. That's the backup. That's the deal that was struck with entertainment industry lobbyists. We will try to push this anti-piracy bill. It probably won't work. Don't worry, we can pass it under an anti-child pornography bill.

There are two things which no Congressman will risk supporting: terrorism and child pornography. There can be no opposition, no discussion. Any anti-piracy law can ALWAYS be reframed as an anti-child pornography bill and it will pass, without even discussion. It will have the full support of the House (minus Ron Paul), the full support of the Senate, and most importantly the full support of the American people. NO ONE wants to risk being called a pedophile.

The entertainment industry has finally caught up with technology. They understand how it works. It took them 15 years, but they know what DNS is. They are going to exploit a fundamental problem with the way DNS is centralized and there is nothing that can be done to stop it. They have found an error in the very architecture of the Internet. The solution, from a free speech standpoint is not to fight it politically. The solution is the fix the error.

[Anonymous No.]

What the fuck are your lawmakers on America?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506371
> Most people honestly believe there are laws to stop people from taking pictures of anyone in public without their consent. Sadly, even law enforcement isn't educated a whole lot in this specific area of the lawbook.
I fucking hate this.

[Anonymous No.]

It was a nice run, internet.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506388
I'm not sure but they're acting like total fuckwits right now. I knew it was bad in the past but it was never THIS bad, at least they would try to HIDE their actions at that time, now there's no form of discretion. They've become totally indiscriminate fascists in the matter of a couple months.

[Y10NRDY !kxh.1oTAkU No.]

>>8506362
I really fucking hope you're right. I mean, if you read it, the thing is so unconstitutional it hurts but I have to agree with >>8506385 when he notes the HIGHLY LOADED name given to the bill.

I wish I could trust our lawmakers to look beyond that but... I don't.

[Anonymous No.]

I've got 600gb left, might as well burn it up. Even if this turns out to be so much noise and fireworks, I'll at least have less reason to keep myself around this headache

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506354
>or hell, visiting exhentai

does e-hentai count? If so then I should probably shut H@H off and burn my hard drive.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506385

/tinfoil hat

What you were saying would make sense if you were trying to REPEAL a law that allows people to draw 2D lolicon.

But with all the ruckus about SOPA and PIPA, I have faith that the mainstream has become somewhat enlightened about internet censorship, and won't be stupid enough to fall into the "do you want your daughter to be raped by a pedophile" rhetoric.

[Anonymous No.]

You internet kids really need to stop shitting yourselves every time one of these OHNODEYTRYINGTOKILLOURINTERNETS acts pops up

[Anonymous No.]

/tinfoil hat

What you were saying would make sense if you were trying to REPEAL a law that forbade people from drawing/ordering/looking at 2D lolicon.

But with all the ruckus about SOPA and PIPA, I have faith that the mainstream has become somewhat enlightened about internet censorship, and won't be stupid enough to fall into the "do you want your daughter to be raped by a pedophile" rhetoric.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506440
>>Implying that they have any sense.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506440
>won't be stupid enough

If we're talking about Americans here, then it's game over already.
They'll pass this shit then go back to eating potato chips and thinking obama is awesome because he's got a nigger dick

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506444

I think you'd be surprised

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506445
We don't do >implying here.

[Anonymous No.]

1. Read the Bill.
2. Check the Congressional Action.
3. Read the fucking Bill.

Yes it has a loaded and emotive title but barely anyone supports its reforms.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506449
Hey, don't blame the rest of us Americans on the actions of a few. I didn't vote for any of these assholes, or watch their propaganda filled TV.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506438
>>8506354

You'll be happy to hear that investigating, arresting and prosecuting people is very expensive and time-consuming, and resources are generally quite limited.

[Anonymous No.]

Ignore him; Europeans let their legislators steamroll them up the ass whenever they get a chance, and then they beg for more "progress" whenever a member pulls out their cock.

[Anonymous No.]

I like it when dissent grows in America. Unfortunately, as soon as it passes, you people are going to stop complaining (most of you at least) and just take it in the ass. I wish you would fight more. Like to the streets with guns and shit.

[Anonymous No.]

>Sponsor: Rep Smith, Lamar

Oh boy.. everyone's favorite dickhead is back for some more fun. What kind of sick person would vote for this sack of shit representative anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506354
I hate the world. Going on exhentai is punishable, reading fucking comics are illegal because someone is offended.
>>8506460
That's good to hear, but it being illegal in the first place is fucking retarded.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506458

Yea I know I'm not that ignorant, I just enjoy breaking balls a little :3

[Anonymous No.]

Corporate lobby pulling the child porn card?
We should stir up shit on facebook that family photographs and other borderline stuff may very well contitute as child porn. Also, we could get the support of the gay movements, because ephebophilia is a sexual preference too.
Or just go with guns blazing into Hollywood. Peaceful protests unfortunately lead to nowhere, a show of power is needed. Didn't the american constitution say that the people have the right overthrow the government if it were to deem unworthy?

Anyway, this might be a step into the right direction: ttp://black-march.com/

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506462

>and just take it in the ass.

I'm fine with that. My onahole came with some lube.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506443
How much does Sony Music pay you to post in these threads?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506467

>:3


I would support a bill that made using emoticons a misdemeanor, and anyone caught posting them to a publicly-viewable forum, board or website is punishable by a hefty fine.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506469
>Didn't the american constitution say that the people have the right overthrow the government if it were to deem unworthy?

If it does, it'd be redundant and pointless, the government doesn't exactly have a choice if the populace it governs revolts.

[Anonymous No.]

The government is freaking out over the internet because we have the opportunity to be enlightened to their current schemes. With a bill that effectively censors the internet, they can just take down any "unsavory, copyright infringing" website that has information they don't want leaked, such as the SOPA bill being hidden inside the Child Porn bill.

Obama is going to get reelected. After that the US will slowly cut it's ties with the vital documents that were drawn up during the birth of the nation.

[Anonymous No.]

>Protect Children From Internet Pornographers

Hey, I got a better idea! How about " The Protect Children From Their Own Goddamn Parents Who Do Not Even Know How To Bring Up A Fucking Child And Let Them Browse The Internet Unchecked Because They Are Goddamn Idiots Act"?

[Anonymous No.]

So wait, does this make Tor illegal or something?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506469

>Didn't the american constitution say that the people have the right overthrow the government if it were to deem unworthy?

Yeah, that is the sort of provision a government in power would want to publicize.

The constitution legally says whatever the fuck the supreme court decides it wants it to say anyhow.

Constitutions aren't buttresses; they're buffers.

[Anonymous No.]

Don't blame the Jews, there is no possible way they are behind this entire thing. It's the corporations you silly goyim.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506494

Yes

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506494
everyone says tor is a honeypot anyway

[Anonymous No.]

If the internet is censored by Americans, what will happen to our Japanese media outlets? I mean, based on my readings of the bill it seems like all it takes is several complaints to take a website down.

I also enjoy the fact that the sponsor of the bill's website will have to be taken down as well due to the background's artist not being credited at all.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506490
>Obama is going to get reelected

Hard to say http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/story/2012-01-27/swing-states-poll/52871890/1

But enjoy having a Mormon for a president.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506477

<(-'.'-)>

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506504
Race doesn't matter. If they were Indians, we would say about the goddamn Indians, if they were Greeks, we would say about the goddamn Greeks, if they were Americans, we would say about the goddamn Americans, if they were Russians, about the goddamn Russians and so on. The problem is, capitalists don't belong to one nation.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506469
>Overthrow the government
Yeah, right. The age of evil dictators is over, bud. You've got something called "politics" and "media". And when those forces combine, they are able to make you accept the very things you hate the most.

[Anonymous No.]

isn't ACTA just as bad as this or worse?

something like 6 states needed to ratify and there are 31 who signed the treaty. baffling how this kind of thing can happen, apparently even if the US doesn't ratify so long as 6 do ratify then we'd have to follow it anyways?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506514

Like it will make any difference either way.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506518
Are you admitting Jews are a race?
>>8506527
And we all know who controls politics and the media.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506354
It was illegal because people would get butthurt and charge you for obscenity laws. Consider yourself lucky to be American and not Argentinian/Norwegian.

Also, I highly doubt any federal police gives two fucks about 18~25 year olds downloading and fapping to 2D loli only. If anyone gets arrested is because they did dumb shit like downloading 3D or selling/distributing 2D.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506354
If that's true I'd like to see the face of whoever goes through my history.

[Anonymous No.]

What people should do is NOT vote for cockmonglers like Lamar Smith and the co-sponsors for his toxic bills. The problem is in congress, not the white house or the supreme court. Seriously we would be better off with drooling retards than some of these fuckers in congress.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506469
No, what you need are mass strikes. These are states controlled by and for corporations, you need to freeze the powers that move them forward, namely, their own workforce.

Oh, and don't be fooled, strikes do work. Every single big corporation operates on the premise that there won't be a single day its people won't work. The thought of even two days of a mass strike can scare anyone shitless.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506541
I don't know, you define the term "Jews" for me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506553
Oh that's great, what company do you work for? I'd like to send in my resume asap. I'm sure they'll need to replace a few loose bolts.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506553
I don't think a strike is an effective method of protest for /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506553
It's nice on paper but you need hundreds of thousands of people to cooperate and agree in a very short amount of time.

[Anonymous No.]

So, what you guys would do in the hypothetical situation this passes?

I'm sure anyone decent can't go living without their Comic LO artists/doujinshi.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506577
download that huge doujin torrent, that'll keep me entertained for a year at least. That and a few siterips, past that there's not much I can do assuming the bill has any effect whatsoever.

[Anonymous No.]

We're all forgetting the fact that ACTA has already been pushed, and signed last year.

You know, the "agreement" with absolutely no input from the legislative process?
An agreement that was drafted behind closed doors?
The original "final boss" of the internet?
More powerful than DMCA?
Signatories that include pretty much every country in the American sphere of influence?
A nightmare worse than SOPA/PIPA that can potentially put average consumer in a life-time of debt from STATUTORY damages?

It is now only a waiting game for ACTA to be ratified.

The game was fucking over even before the battle began.

Prepare your anuses, 2013

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506354
> ISPs will be required to keep records of everything you do on the internet for eighteen months.

If it is simply to monitor thats one thing but if they are actually going to each and every person house to arrest them for what the deem is unfit for their terms is another thing entirely. Do you know how many people use the internet in america alone? Plus this has to be a violation of privacy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506577
Perfect Dark and Share most likely will not be affected

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506563
The Internet went on strike a couple of weeks ago and would be willing to have another go, we are not alone.

>>8506566
You can bet on this, when shit hits the fan, lots of people agree in a very short amount of time and can only be stopped by the fear of being alone. It's like magic. As for the cooperation part, hey, as long as you stay in front of your TV watching Fox News talking about "them stinking protestors", you aren't cooperating. This thing needs support and communication to work.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506581
Now that you mentioned it I remember vaguely about something along the lines of ACTA.

This whole thing is ridiculous. I feel so helpless and powerless that I can't do anything to stop it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506581

The spoiler tag got me. And holy shit at the level of tinfoilhat in this thread.

Good night /jp/, and cheers to many more decades, a lifetime of doujin downloading.

Love,

A level-headed and rational anon

[Anonymous No.]

The media industries sure to seem to have an obsession with shooting themselves in the foot.

Maybe they're just trying to further separate the mindless consumers from those with a brain.

[Anonymous No.]

you people sure whine a lot for someone whos not even trying to do anything

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506599
Then tell me mister rational. Why are you so confident that this will blow over like a bad fart?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506581
You're acting like our legisature wouldn't have rubber stamped ACTA. SOPA almost certainly would have passed if Wikipedia hadn't blacked out for a day, which they can't keep on doing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506599
But nobody here is talking about aliens or secret brotherhoods. It's a fact that copyright colossi want this to pass.

http://torrentfreak.com/the-copyright-lobby-absolutely-loves-child-pornography-110709/

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506583
They already do this shit in other countries. Mine, for example. And I use ex since march 2010.

They won't monitor shit, unless you use dumb search terms constantly. All it means is that they are required to log your history/downloads/etc for a set period of time, in case authorities ever need it. You should only avoid using search terms like "ロリ" (you get the idea) or downloading anything with it in its filename. They would never guess what "[Onizuka Naoshi] Lovable" (for example) represents.

Then again, I'm not the most tech savvy or knowledgeable anon, so just giving you advice from my personal experience.

[Anonymous No.]

Adult DFCs and "regular" girls are better anyways.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506616
>Adult DFCs

That reminds me I feel sorry for Australia for getting the thick of it.

[Anonymous No.]

You know, if our government were actually with the times and actually knew today's culture and trends we would not have this problem.

These are basically a bunch of old moms who are out of touch with their kids.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506624
The good thing is that most of them will be dead/dying if some of us ever get out of our NEET lives and start arguing for 2D.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506607
WILL rubber stamp, not "wouldn't have."

If I'm not correct, Congress has to ratify ACTA.

If 6 nations ratify ACTA, it will pass. Granted, if 6 other nations ratify it, apparently we'll have to follow anyways, but America still has yet to ratify and Congress(to my knowledge) makes the decision.

Also, the Europeans are apparently the ones with the final say, so we're all looking at you. Even if 6 nations ratify, if Euro parliament says no it's no deal.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506634
I would not rely on Europe. IN the past years they have been even more of a stickler when it comes to the internet.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506620
That got thrown out for the time being. A guy I know got arrested for helping /b/ taking down the governments website.

I have to admit it was funny. The guy pushing the law was interviewed and asked about anonymous and laughed and said they were a bunch of kids. Next thing the website was down and they were upset at how irresponsible it was.

[Anonymous No.]

So I have to buy everything i want, ok

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506660
I see what you are trying to do.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506662
:3

[Anonymous No.]

This one will pass simply because nobody wants to be called a pedophile.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506671
As much as it pains me that is the truth of the matter. They have decided to use an underhanded technique similar to that propaganda poster about if you ride alone you ride with hitler.

[Anonymous No.]

i didnt see the big problem with some of these, so they are basically making it so people have to buy everything they want? and since we are the internet and dont like buying stuff, except internet service itself, we dont like it? i havent cared enough to look and read up about it, but is it actually a big conspiracy?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506679
>>8506660

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506683
:3?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506684
>>8506666
ε＝（‐ω‐；；）やれやれ。。。

[Anonymous No.]

If you guys think that you can work around whatever shit the LEAs have planned for you because they're "behind" technological-wise, you are all dead wrong.

What I am about to tell you is 85% true, 15% speculation on my part. After reading what I have to say, you will never doubt at the length to which government agencies will go through to absolutely fuck you over-- you, as in ordinary citizens, some innocently and some not so innocently caught up in the chaotic world of the internet.

Dec 2011

I finished downloading a large batch of .rars off of a fairly active newsgroup, that mostly contained mostly declassified military document from small former Soviet countries. I downloaded it because it seemed pretty cool at the time, and a lot of users were raving about it. It included weapon specs, military contracts, and some intelligence reports from roughly 20-30 years ago.

After giving a quick browse through the 240 GB compressed files, I came across a few oddly named folders -- "Russians," "Bulgarians," "Thai," and "Cambodians." (Every other folder was categorized by year, conflict, region and countries.)

Within each of these folders were single TruCrypt files, all about 800 MB each. After asking around in the group from where the files came from, I was told to download a torrent that contained the passwords, and given a magnet link. At this point, alarms should have went off for anybody who has any business using Usenet or simply being internet-read, but being the then naive idiot, I proceeded to download the torrent.

con't

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506691
>I finished downloading a large batch of .rars off of a fairly active newsgroup, that mostly contained mostly declassified military document from small former Soviet countries. I downloaded it because it seemed pretty cool at the time, and a lot of users were raving about it. It included weapon specs, military contracts, and some intelligence reports from roughly 20-30 years ago.

what the fuck would you be downloading that for? if this is /k/ then never mind. but still though. thats a pretty farfetched example

[≦(￣^￣)≧ !!x+mnmrU0sW+ No.]

>>8506679
IIRC, PCIPA was the one that says that service providers have to save all user data for at least eighteen months so that they can be submitted to the government. It's basically the next step in a complete nanny state. Privacy rights are being eroded day by day and no one seems to care except a couple guys on the internet.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506691

con't

The file the magnet link led me to was bundled in a 5 GB, named with some Anglicized Russian which roughly translated to "keys to the mariana," and there were 50 people seeding it with no leeches. Warning number two that I ignored.

As I was downloading the torrent, I printed off some of the early design specs of Soviet rifles so I can read it on my commute. The torrent was estimated to finish by the time I went to bed, so I put it off my mind for the day.

In retrospect, it couldn't've been more obvious, but I was blind to my own reasoning. Afterall, I have never even used shady shit like Tor, or even actively searched for the more coveted items on the internet. Aside from pirating about $200 worth of media, I was a regular, upstanding citizen who went to school.

con't

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506703

[Anonymous No.]

con't

The file the magnet link led me to was bundled in a 5 GB rar file, named with some Anglicized Russian which roughly translated to "keys to the mariana." There were 50 people seeding it with no leeches. Warning number two, somehow ignored.

As I was downloading the torrent, I printed off some of the early design specs of Soviet rifles so I can read it on my commute. The torrent was estimated to finish by the time I went to bed, so I put it off my mind for the day.

In retrospect, it couldn't've been more obvious, but I was blind to my own reasoning. Afterall, I have never even used shady shit like Tor, or even actively searched for the more coveted items on the internet. Aside from pirating about $200 worth of media, I was a regular, upstanding citizen who went to school.

con't

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506714
That's a fucking long story, bro. I've already got my cool story bro reply cocked and ready to go, how long is this going to take?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506720
I can only assume at this point that the FBI has arrested him midstory.

[Anonymous No.]

It began in the 20th century, during winter. But despite it being winter, it was not very cold during the beginning of his legend. That is because everything was on fire! But it was not a normal forest fire or anything like that. Because it was winter, you see. And forest fires usually happen during the summer, because it's hot, and the sun can cause them. So, it is obvious that this was not a normal forest fire. Also, it was not a forest that was burning in the first place. It was a park, and a residential district next to it. Naturally, then, this was neither a forest fire because it was both winter, and it was not a forest.

Anyway. His legend began in the 20th century. During winter. But his true story did not begin until the 21st century in winter. But because every legend must have a beginning, we shall talk of the legend that began in the 20th century with a fire that was not a forest fire because it was winter and not in a forest, and not the 21st where there was no fire, or forest.

[Anonymous No.]

In any case. Did you know that his legend started in a fire? It was because he disobeyed his parents who told him to wait in the doorway because of some panic. But he did not wait. Because he was that kind of man. Some would later say that he was a very complex man at heart. Others would say that he was a simpleton. But perhaps it was more that he went his own way in life. Or maybe he really was a simpleton. After all, he did not watch the news very often and would spend much of his time cooking. Ah, but to know how to cook, one must know what to do. So maybe he really was a complex man after all. Or maybe he cooked and did not watch the news because he followed his own path. In any case, he did not obey his parents, and he left the doorway. And so his house and parents burned to the ground. This is because he was disobedient. However, his punishment was not fully served yet. This is because fate does not stay its hand at night. And it was at night that this fire took place. And because it was a fire, he was caught in it. And so he nearly died, because of his disobedience!

Now! He nearly died in his legend. But obviously he did not die or else he would not have fulfilled his true legend in the 21st century and not this legend which begins in the 20th century in a fire that is not a forest fire because it is a park and it is winter. However, whether he did die or did not die some people do not know. Some say that he did die and that all that remained was a new person. Others say that this does not make sense and that they should listen to simple medical science. However, both are stupid panderings of lesser minds. But he nearly died.

[Anonymous No.]

That was until he was saved. There were people who could not be saved, and nobody was there to save him, but he was saved in the end anyway. And because he was saved, he would live so that he could fulfill his true legend in the 21st century during winter. When he was saved, because he was nearly dead, he had a magical sheath shoved into his chest by the man who did the saving him thereof. Medical science suggests that because of the size of the sheath, his body at this age would not have been able to carry it. But this is stupid pandering. But after he was saved he was adopted. But he was not like most adopted children. This is because adopted children are not often told that they are adopted, and so they resent their parents when they find out on their own. He, on the other hand, always knew that he was adopted. And so he did not resent his new parent. That is why he decided to become like his parent.

That is how his legend began in the 20th century, during winter in a fire that was not a forest fire, because it was winter and not in a forest.

Now we shall take a ten minute break to drink tea!

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506744
>>8506740

[Anonymous No.]

I want to hear this story

[Anonymous No.]

Now that we (I) have had our tea, let us speak of his true legend which began in the 21st century! Since his adoption, he had grown into a simple man. Nay, some might call him a simpleton, but a simple man who was a simpleton he might also have been! This is because he did not really stand out, but neither did he stand in, do you see? You see? Good! In any case, he had grown into a simple man, but he was complicated on the inside. That is because he was training to become a magician. Ah, but he did not wish to become a traditional magician who entertained at parties. Those are communists, and being a simple man, he could never become such a person! So, he wished to become a different kind of magician.

His true legend begins in winter! However, unlike his legend, it did not begin with a fire nor did it have a park. It had a school, which means that this story will have ED-JEW-KAY-SHUN-AL value, as any legend being told that tells of schools will surely do so. This is fact. With that in mind, let me tell you that his true legend began in winter, near night, at school. Because he was a simpleton, he allowed others to take advantage of him, and so he did all of the work that the janitors were being paid to perform. Because of his lack of backbone, he was punished! His punishment came in the form of being stabbed through the heart with a lance - which is always the most suitable for those who allow themselves to be taken advantage of. This is fact. Alas, despite being burned alive in a fire, and stabbed through the heart, he still did not die. Medical experts insist that this must be a fabrication, but they are communists and thus do not have valid opinions.

[Anonymous No.]

Therefore his legend! Ah, after he nearly died, but did die, but was saved and thus did not die, he went home. That is because his evening routine was to have tea after a long day of work. Ah, but when he was making tea, he forgot to make it traditional Japanese style, and so the man with the lance appeared to punish him once again! Alas, he was a man who was simple, but cunning. Or perhaps he was a blunted blade which retained its edge when most needed. Or perhaps he was like food weeks past the expiration date which still tastes good when one puts some salad dressing on it. In any case!! The man with the lance could not punish him again. This is because his wish to become a magician caused the world to weep for his desires, and so they gifted him with a magical girl. This magical girl drove away the man with the lance, but no sooner had she does so, but she then did leap over his fence and slash her master's arm. This is because he did not act courteously towards her, which is rude and thus her act was justified. Alas, before she could punish him further, he commanded her to still her blade. Which she did, for all magical girls must obey the commands of simpleton country bumpkins whom are gifted with their power and protection. This can be explained the same way that the moon affects the ebb and flow of the ocean.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506771
>>8506746
>>8506744
>>8506740

So is this the winter woodsman's timecube?

[Anonymous No.]

Why are you spamming copypasta?

This thread is more related to /jp/ than all the /a/ shit we've been putting on for the last weeks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506777
How is it related to /jp/? If you include the old definition, this thread is neither talking about Japan nor Otaku Culture.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506788
Have you even been here since the split?

This could severely affect our lifestyle. And if you're a NEET, that's pretty much all you have. Coming up with solutions, working around it, or simply discussing the issue is very related to the board and its users.

[Anonymous No.]

i never liked loli anyway

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506809
No one cares. Besides, discussing it in some no-one-wants board in a no-one-cares site won't change anything.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506860
You mean, you don't care.

Don't force your personal opinion on others, the existence of replies in this thread and many threads before it is plenty proof that enough people care to justify the thread

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506868
Again, who cares. Interest doesn't make it any more /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506860
No one cares if you don't care.

This is the only place most of us have and it's an actual issue.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506877
Plenty do, if that's what you're asking. The thread is here and the next unknown number will pop up after it, its related to the board whether you personally like it or not.

Don't take the rules so literally

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506877
I see. You're one of those shitposters from 2010 who made every thread into a meta discussion.

Moving on.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506890
Instead we now get people spamming sage in every post and posting completely off topic threads, usually about :

-Random japanese news items

-Random pictures of non-otaku japanese people

-Hey guise how many bottles of piss do you have lol

-I did something really random today /jp/, let me tell you about it!

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506907
-Who are you quoting?!

-SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE

-lol which 2hu u fuck?

-why don't you kill yourself /jp/?

-who neet here

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506908
-SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE

-Hey guise dubs lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506910

-please help to stop hatsune miku videos from getting deleted :(

-hi my name is tokiko and i LOVE to shitpost on /jp/!

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506907
/jp/ has always been shitty, and those metathreads on "what /jp/ is really about" were no better.

I don't like the new /jp/ either, but to argue this thread is unrelated based on literal definitions moot put on is the core principle that made 2009 and 2010 so full of horrible metathreads.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506915
/jp/ wasn't shitty right after it got created. We had VN/touhou threads everyday. Then at some point 90% of the front page turned into random shit. I'm not sure what happened.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506918
You weren't here obviously. A lot of it was ronery and GET threads.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506924
[x] Jump in the lake

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506918
Yes, we didn't have any shitty spam threads like Japanese bird cooking spaghetti then.

[Anonymous No.]

Well this conversation derailed. Congratulations, you just showed you have about the same attention span as /b/.

[Anonymous No.]

I can't believe you people are against this bill.

Child pornography is for pedophiles and it's immoral. We need morals and revival.

Lolicon and Shotacon are the biggest problem in a Christian society. Shin chan for example is a shotacon because of he exposes his dingy and his bare bottom. What a disgrace. Those who be watching Shin Chan should be locked up, labeled as a sex offender, and revoked of the their rights to vote and a job.

Think of the children, people. We need to set morals and everyone needs to know the Savior and His Word.

This bill needs to pass so that all anime fans can see The Light.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506928
That happened at least a year after /jp/ got created

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506469
>Didn't the american constitution say that the people have the right overthrow the government if it were to deem unworthy?
That was the declaration of independence. And that idea pretty much got shot to hell during the civil war.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506934
http://archive.foolz.us/jp/search/text/%22japanese%20bird%20cooking%20spaghetti%22/page/110

[Anonymous No.]

>>8506931
Nobody actually cares. A hundred off-topic posts can't kill a thread if people are still willing to discuss the main topic,

[Anonymous No.]

Can someone summarize this bill, formal writing is impossible for me to read.

[Anonymous No.]

In other news, thepiratebay was shut down and is now operating under a different extension.

Why aren't you helping the revolution?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8507115
>shut down

don't say that, they just switched domain extensions.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8507122
All that matters is that it has the revolutionary fist on the frontpage.

All the signs are here, /jp/. By pirating all your shit so masterfully for years, you have become one of the most advanced fortresses of resistance against capitalism. Now, it's time to help the rest of the world break their chains and live in a better world, a world you can help create as you see fit. A world where everyone can take it easy! The world needs you, /jp/, for you have tasted freedom.

Little girls of the Internet, unite! You have nothing to lose but your pantsu!

[Anonymous No.]

>>8507004
Visit the link in the OP. Then click "All Information."

Congratulations, you've mastered the internet.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8507150
that was pretty autistic dude made me feel a little uncomfortable

[Anonymous No.]

>>8507159
The truth is autistic, Anonymous, embrace it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8507150
FUCK THE CAPITALISM! TO THE LAST PROXY!!! URAAAA!!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>8507150
But I'm all for Capitalism, what do? ;_;