/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Hey faggots im 14 years old, yesterday i smoked 4 joints and fucked several girls

why do yuo spend all yopur time on this shitty website?

i have 200 friends on facebook, how many you have?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

see that blet? it took me 3 years of blood and sweat to get, this was the proudest day in my life yo get something that i EARNED?

got one?
what have u NERDS ever done, except level up to level 70 on WOW..
fucking nerds, do SOMETHING with youlife

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544062
> facebook
Sorry but I'm not a attentionwhore

Okay actually I am but I would never sink so far

[Anonymous No.]

OP is so visibly upset, that he needs to create a thread on our glorious board in an attempt to raise his self worth.

Come at me OP. I am the fucking pinnacle of man, both body and mind. I attend an Ivy league university, completely payed off by scholarships, with the leftover money used to buy myself a luxury vehicle. My grade point average is perfect point O. After I finish my dual bachelors I will be accepted straight away into the doctorate program. I will have two doctorate degree's by age twenty-five, owe zero debts, and make more money a year than you will in a lifetime. The funny thing is, this is the average /jp/ browser. There are many who far surpass me.

Of course, knowing this, you figure the only way to attack me is the only way you know how, using words of which the meaning escapes you, insult some genre of game no one on this board plays, and using our own image macros to mock yourself.

You forgot your "My face when" by the way, the text suits you perfectly.

Go ahead and reply, doing so only proves my point to such an extent that you might as well just beg to suck my dick and eat my bodily waste, so that maybe an iota of my greatness could pass onto you.

[­­wtH !HELLB/V.96 No.]

>fagbook
i used to have one when i was a normal as HELL fagglet but it's been inactive since and if any1 remembers me and checks out my wall they'll see that im forever alone so i deleted it cutting my ties with every1 in the whole world ever

[Anonymous No.]

Hey faggots im 19 years old, yesterday I drank 8 cans of Dr Pepper and fapped to several loli tentacle doujins.

Why don't you spend all your time on something as brilliant as /jp/?

I have 170 friends on Facebook of whom I only talk to about 10, why do I even use that shit?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544073
>170 friends on Facebook
Get out of /jp/, we don't want you here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544075
I know you don't. I still don't care.

[Anonymous No.]

just 200? and you try to put on airs to be enjoying a social life?
I'm a fucking social cripple and had about 150 the couple of months I used facebok to get school material from the other guys, since I never went to class.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544073
dude even if you fucking piss dr pepper there is a limit. get your shit together with that facebook crap.

you have fucking DR PEPPER flowing in your veins, dude. don't fucking mess this shit up, dude.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544071
>Was normal.
Get out, poser.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544062
Was shit so cash?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544086
You can drink that much ddr pepper. I used to have an addiction to pepsi. I would drink ~12 cans a day. I had to piss every 20 minutes and it costed way too much. Not to mention horrible for my health. I've managed to cut back to about 4 a day now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544097
I normally drink only 1.5l a week but I just went to a place where they sold cheap 24 packs of Dr Pepper and I bought two of those.

[Anonymous No.]

spic ass faggot fag, I have 500 friends on facebook and I fucked 30 girls while smoking 5 joints.

nerd

[Anonymous No.]

evryone in this thread

[Anonymous No.]

I'm 21, have never smoked any joints, and only had one girlfriend

I spend time on this shitty website because I enjoy it. I also have a very small amount of friends, but I'm perfectly fine with that.

As long as you enjoy what you do, there's nothing wrong with it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544104
>one girlfriend
thread is full of normals.

[Kushsader No.]

>Only smoked 4 joints in a whole day.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544110
I'm like you anon ; _ ; I stay at home every day, some days without saying a single word to anybody.

I'm not normal, I swear! I belong here!

[Anonymous No.]

why do so many people on /jp/ smoke weed... fucking drugfaggots i hope you all OD and die

[Anonymous No.]

I have 523 friends on Facebook

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544114
Stonerfags are the worst kind of people.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544114
>OD
>on weed

I'LL HAVE WHAT HE'S HAVING

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544123
Don't joke around like that. My brother died because he shared a weed needle and contracted Mono, a very deadly disease which makes your penis fall off. He couldn't pee and his bladder exploded within his body.

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7544114
Overdosing on grass?

Unpossible, bro. You'd overdose on water before you overdosed on marijuana.

[Okuu !!Jq0MHPvHhpb No.]

I'm a 4chan level otaku. I don't talk with you chumps in anime club, I don't read your "anime magazine" with new releases I saw two years ago. I don't need to go to a club full of fat smelly people to watch Full Metal Alchemist all over again. I've got fuckin' live feed torrents of the newest animes you haven't even hear of, and figures from said anime being shipped to my house so I can masturbate on them. Go read your "yowie" on fanfiction.net, I'm downloading loli dojinshi and reading the fucking raws.
You keep wearing your naruto headbands and shit, socializing with your weeaboo friends. I'll be walking by, Anonymous. You'll never know that the master of anime had passed you by, because I suppress my power level.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544114
Fuck you, smoking weed feels good, can be done in the comfort of your own home, and helps you forget about the shittiness of 3D. I'd smoke weed everyday if it wasn't for the fact that I'd have to interact with scary people in order to get that weed, which I don't like doing.

[Anonymous No.]

I smoke 2 joints before I smoke 2 joints and then I smoke 2 more

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544123
it's illegal for a reason asshole. it hurts your body

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544126
But that's not OD'ing on weed, that's contracting Mono from being fucking retarded and dying.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544131
>2011
>Seriously believes this

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544132
My other brother smoked a lot of weed, then when he was so high he went to bed with an electric fan on. The windows were also closed.

He was pronounced dead the next morning.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544131

Weed has been proven time and time again to hurt you less than both Alcohol and Tobacco and yet they are still legal and encouraged.

The only reason weed is still illegal in most countries is because no politician has the balls support it.

[Anonymous No.]

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!
Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

[Anonymous No.]

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!
The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

[Anonymous No.]

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

“Hi Draco!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Ebony.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

“You come in cold, you're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom
She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

[Anonymous No.]

I just spent the last twenty minutes rubbing a twelve year old girl's bare chest.

"How?" you ask. Well apparently there are a select few contexts within which such an action is acceptable. For instance, if your niece has a hacking cough and your sister asks you to "put some of this on her" while she calls the doctor. "Putting some of this on her" meant using my bare hands to rub this vapor ointment shit all over her BARE NAKED CHEST. My heartbeat is still all erratic from it. I had a boner the size of manhattan the entire time. She's sleeping now and I guess she feels better because she stopped coughing.

Details: She's about 5 feet tall, has long brown hair, a cute face, a thin waist and long skinny legs. She's in jammies I think because although I'm pretty shaken up right now I know I unbuttoned something before I went at it. God I feel so great. I just rubbed my hands all over her FUCKING TITS, you guys. Well the puffy parts of her chest anyway. Her nipples got hard. I just about wept tears of joy. I didn't do anything else because I'm a coward and rubbing was enough. Plus it was legal and I didn't technically do anything wrong, so I'm in the clear.

I'd write more but I seriously have to go fap while the memory is fresh in my head.

[Anonymous No.]

“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest!

[Anonymous No.]

“DRACO!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Draco didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Ebony?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544062
>i have 200 friends on facebook, how many you have?
About 1700 something, something. But then again, define "friend" in this case.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7544330

>1700 friends on Facebook