/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Way out east there was this lady I wanna tell ya about. Goes by the name of Reimu Hakurei. At least that was the handle her loving parents gave her, but she never had much use for it herself. See, this Hakurei, she called herself "The Miko". Now, "Miko" - there's a name no woman would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Miko that didn't make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where she lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. See, they call Gensokyo the "Land of Fantasy"; but I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow it as there are some nice folks there. 'Course I ain't never been to London, and I ain't never seen France. And I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I'll tell you what - after seeing Gensokyo, and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd seen in any of them other places. And in Japanese, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place in the early '90s - just about the time of our conflict with Sad'm and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there's a woman... I won't say a heroine, 'cause, what's a heroine? Sometimes, there's a woman. And I'm talkin' about the Miko here - the Miko from Gensokyo. Sometimes, there's a woman, well, she's the woman for her time and place. She fits right in there. And that's the Miko. The Miko, from Gensokyo. And even if she's a lazy woman - and the Miko was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of Gensokyo County, which would place her high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide. Sometimes there's a woman, sometimes, there's a woman. Well, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced it enough.

[Anonymous No.]

VE VANT ZEE MONEY HAKUREI

VERE IS ZEE MONEY

[Anonymous No.]

Do continue.

[Anonymous No.]

Miko: Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking shrine.
Lunasa: Ve vant ze money, Hakurei.
Merlin: Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze fairy.
Lyrica: Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal, Hakurei.
Miko: You don't HAVE the fucking fairy, dipshits! We know you never did!
Alice: Are these the ghosts, Marisa?
Marisa: No, Alice, these women are poltergeists, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Lunasa: Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money, Hakurei, or ve fuck you up.
Marisa: Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
Miko: Hey, cool it Marisa.
Marisa: No, without a hostage, there is no ransom. That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules.
Merlin: Her girlfriend gave up her toe!
Lyrica: She though we'd be getting million yen!
Merlin: Iss not fair!
Marisa: Fair! WHO'S THE FUCKING POLTERGEIST HERE! WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?
Miko: Hey, cool it Marisa. Look, pal, there never was any money. The big Moriya gave me an empty donation box, so take it up with her, man.
Marisa: And, I would like my bloomers back.
Alice: Are they gonna hurt us, Marisa?
Marisa: No, Alice. These women are cowards.
Lunasa: Okay. So we take ze money you haf on you, und ve calls it eefen.
Marisa: Fuck you.
Miko: Hey, no, come on, Marisa. We're ending this thing cheap, man.
Marisa: No, what's mine is mine.
Lunasa: No funny shtuff.
Miko: Alright, alright, I've got four hundred yen, almost five...
Alice: Hey, I got eighteen hundred.
Marisa: What's mine is mine.
Lunasa: We fuck you ups, man. We takes the money.
Marisa: Come and get it.

[Anonymous No.]

Fuck it Miko, let's go Danmaku.

[Anonymous No.]

495 year olds, Miko.

[Anonymous No.]

Nobody fucks with the Youkai Jesus.

[Anonymous No.]

YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WRIGGLE? YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SPELLCARD A STRANGER IN THE ASS?