/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Reaction image thread for reaction image aficionadi such as ourselves.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>Reaction image thread.

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>6948562
In a row?
>>6948555
Nice trips bro

[Anonymous No.]

This image can be used as a reaction to anything.

Truly the deity of reaction images.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948562

[Anonymous No.]

You guys forgot your >mfw's

[Anonymous No.]

Anyone have "consider the following"?

[Anonymous No.]

[/4chan]

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>6948555

I most strongly disapprove of the custom, but I highly approve of your quest for knowledge.

[Anonymous No.]

Get the fuck out of here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948590

I have always been here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948592
Leave.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948592

Something is amiss here...

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948592

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948618

I see no incentive to do so.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948621
Let me give you some. Have you heard about Aikido? After hearing about this badass art, you will be running for the gym. Listen for a bit.


Everyday I look at /fit/ and laugh. They are so pathetic, wasting there time in a hot stinky gym lifting weights.

I just do Aikido and I look twice as aesthetic as the best looking /fit/ poster. I'm probably twice as strong too, strong enough to compete competitively as a strongman or Olympic lifter.

But I can actually use my strength to defend myself, I can probably take on four Brock Lesnars.

At once.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948629

I'm still not following you here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948642
My apologies. I was performing other necessary duties.

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is.

[Anonymous No.]

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948663
This again?
The mighty Aku detests your persistance.

[Anonymous No.]

These pastas are insubstantial.

[Anonymous No.]

I truly must apologize, but I am out of Aikido, for alas, I am only a novice in the art. Might I interest you in some Tanasinn though? I hear that when you combine the two, it makes for a dreadful combination. Why don't you sit and listen for a spell.

Picture yourself, in every moment of your life, passing from place to place and time to time. Picture those places and times and picture what happened to them. Has the past gone away when you left it? Is this true, can you not go back? If so, surely this can be the same way for places as it is for time. Imagine that when you leave a room, or simply turn away, a multitude of tiny organisms deconstruct the reality you can't see, and it ceases to exist. At the same time, the organisms weave together a new world wherever you go and for whatever you look at out of the material of that dead reality. This of course implies the back of your head does not exist either. So how does it seem familiar? Because when the back of your head does not exist, these organisms may restructure your brain directly in order to create the feeling of familiarity and of memory.
They do all this, without ever ceasing, out of knowledge passed down by instinct that when you cease to acknowledge reality, they as a whole will cease to exist, because reality is the knowing and they are the unknowing, both in mutual interdependence. In time they may attempt to rewire your brain or body to ensure this does not happen, but it is far more likely just one of them will realize that your brain is just a construct of your thought... and since thought is a product of your brain, that single organism, one of an infinite number of organisms will know it's true purpose is not in line with it's kind.

It's purpose is tanasinn.

[Anonymous No.]

Imagine you are having terrible nightmare. It's terrible, but it's terrible only to you and no other. It's a horror custom made for you by your own mind. The content is not important, but the fear is. When you wake, you wake in a room on a bed. It is your bed, but it is not your bed. It is your room, but it is not your room. With effort, you realize you have not awoken at all, but are still asleep and have dreamed of an awakening. The question remains if you are to wake and be greeted with reality, should you get out of bed or go back to sleep. You decide to do both, and you fall backward through the bed as the sheets envelop your body. It's dark, but it's not dark. You're awake, but you're not awake. You are dead and being cremated. As flames disintegrate your flesh, a scream echos through your mind but not does not escape your lips which, even if you could speak, have been glued shut. You black out once more, and awaken at dawn. As the mingled ashes of bone and oak are scattered on a beach by the one you've left behind, you finally understand:

You are not the ashes of the man, you are the ashes of coffin. You were not a man dreaming of life, but a tree dreaming you were a man.

This awakening, this epiphany... this is tanasinn.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948678

Gesundheit.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948689
I can see you are tough autist to crack. I'll try switching to some of the lesser pastas to see if they are more your speed.

You ask for a hamburger, I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only children’s laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a hamburger.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948681
>mfw I read that while high

[Anonymous No.]

I don't think you've ever have a full erection before.

I bet you've never experienced how truely hard and thick one's own penis can become. The head absolutely full and firm to the touch. Taking one's shaft with both hands and imagining yourself pounding deep into a prepubescent girl. The feeling of releasing on facial emotions or just the right formation of lines and shapes that truly bring a guy to the height of ecstasy. Then feeling you must not only find your own pleasure but continue to violate this image. To be turned on by the pleasure of what you focus your sexual desires on being mortified by you. The feeling that they must both suffer and take you in as a whole. To take this image, and make yourself whole within it. Then you continue, again and again. Now you find but nothing comes out but near clear fluids.
You feast. Protein, carbohydrates. Whatever you can get you devour. You must build up your stamina and nutrients to waste them yet again.
20 times a day not enough? You clearly are not a man of science nor a man of poetry.

Just because you don't know how to do it, doesn't mean it can't be done. It just means you lack something very fundamental to continue.

You are easy to please. Just a few moments of bliss a day enough for you? You'll never understand what it feels like to continue to deepen your own pleasures.
Then again you could just simply lack vitality and sexual drive.

I'm going to take a stab in the dark, but people that masturbate 10+ times a day subconsciously drink quite a bit of fluids.

[Anonymous No.]

Copypasta? I see. Shall we go to war, then?

/jp/, in an effort to reach the heart of my beloved Yuka in distant Gensoukyou, I've just returned from a nature walk. Upon coming to a particularly beautiful clearing, I knelt in front of a flower bed and masturbated furiously, while calling out Yuka's name. The way my seed was draped across the flower petals with the force of my climax was quite beautiful.

Tomorrow, I will go and examine my work in the sunlight, and leave an offering of bees for my darling Yuka.

ITT our romantic encounters.

[Anonymous No.]

Yesterday at around noon, I had been extremely bored for the past couple of hours. So, despite all the temptations to just

jerk off to my manga, I decided to go to my friends house and hang out. We started to play pokemon and that got boring, so

he suggested doing prank calls. I honestly have never done any prank calls, though I have seen most of the Girl Talk

raids. He called the local gamestop and asked if they had any ps4's. I kinda cringed at the low brow humor, but I wanted

to try. He gave the phone to me. I had no idea what to say. He just told me to think up of some ridiculous story. Being

the /b/ that I am, I decided to act like I misdialed and I was calling my girlfriend or something. I, sadly, have no

girlfriend and never had, so I have no idea what couples talk to each other like. He told me that he was going to download

a random number, so it wouldn't be anyone that I knew. Phone rang, person picked up, I started to talk. "Hey, how you

doing?" There was a pause. "So, are we gonna fuck tonight?" Another long pause, then the phone hung up.

I went home at around midnight, and my mom was in the living room sitting by the light. She seemed a bit upset, but I had

no idea why. She looked at me and then asked, "What have you been doing?". I started to think to myself OSHI-, my friend

must of called my house, that douche. "Uh... I have been hanging out at my friends." "O really.." My Dad walked into the

room, and he looked pissed off too. I know they must of knew it was me. I'm dead. Then my mom started off, "I found these

magazines in your room. we seriously need to talk about these." It was probably the weirdest feeling in the world. The

feeling relief that you weren't in trouble for something you did, and the feeling that you have just been caught with

porn.

So now I'm locked in my room. How do I get out?

[Anonymous No.]

Captain: Our king is the god of war. He always stands on the frontline and does not know defeat.
Soldier 1: She, Sir.
Captain: What was that?
Soldier 1: Our king is a woman, sir.
Soldier 2: And quite a looker at that.
Captain: He always stands on the frontline and does not know defeat! No one can stand in the way of-
Soldier 1: Forgive me for speaking out of turn, Captain, but that's definitely a woman.
Soldier 3: Though it might be a man with coconuts in his armor.
Soldier 2: Are you trying to say that our king carries fruits in her chest?
Captain: His chest! Look! Our king's dauntless figure has not changed since he-
Soldier 1: She, Sir.
Captain: QUIET! Our king has not changed since he pulled out the sword of selection! The king does not age, and he certainly does not walk around with coconuts pressed to his chest!
Soldier 3: So our king is a woman.
Soldier 2: And quite a looker at that!
Soldier 1: I'm so glad that I'm not the only one here that can see the blooming obvious!
Captain: Stop speaking of our king as if he were some common two-pence tramp! He, and I do mean he, is the incarnation of a dragon! He will lead us to victory against-
Soldier 1: She, Sir!
Captain: I've had enough out of you!
Soldier 1: With all due respect, Captain, you're a bloody loony! I am loyal to the king, but the king is a woman!
Soldier 2: And quite a looker at that!
Soldier 3: I wouldn't mind having a quickie with her, if you know what I mean!
Captain: ENOUGH! Our king is the blooming god of war! He does not walk around with coconuts in his chest, he is not quite a looker, and there will be no having quickies with our king!
Saber: Is there a problem, Captain?
Captain: Your majesty, I-
Soldier 1: Your majesty, you're a woman, right?
Saber: Gender is meaningless. I am the wielder of Excalibur and the King of Britain.
Soldier 3: She's a hermaphrodite?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948737

I'm okay with this.

[Anonymous No.]

Amino acids are quite fappable, actually. I have a character sheet on how they would be as girls, Tryptophan is the gentle onee-sama type with large breasts (molecular weight translates to breast size, so she's the largest), glasses and a tendency to say "ara ara", but she's secretly a pervert (tryptophan is a chemoattractant for the sperm of many marine animals), Cysteine is the drill-haired ojou-sama (disulfide bonds between cysteines are responsible for curly/drill hair) who heads a private security company (since N-terminal cysteines are common on chemokines), Proline is the distant cousin (as an imino acid) troubled by the fact that her left hand is bound to her body via a pyrrolidine ring (which obviously prevents her from doing some activities like swimming or handwaving.) and so on.

I really should learn how to draw, so that I can sketch some of those.

[Anonymous No.]

You aren't aroused by traumatic insemination? What are you doing on /jp/? You should learn to appreciate expressing your love by administering your sperm directly into your devoted wife's bloodstream. I want to be a little girl with a drill penis and watch Merry's cute, tearful face as she bears the excruciating pain for my sake, calling out my name while I penetrate her peritoneum and deposit my seed within the tight, inviting folds of her greater omentum. When I pull out, my spiral-coiled penis covered with a mixture of cum, blood, serous intraperitoneal fluid and gastric acid, she'd smile gently and take some of the sperm gushing out of her gaping wound, licking it and telling me how delicious it is because it's my taste. Then we'd sleep together, with her telling me how much she loves me while groping my budding breasts, making me moan softly like the little girl I am as her half-spilled guts warmly rest around my drill-shaped, oversized male genitalia, arousing me further.

Jeez, people have no taste for romantic love those days.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6948831
>>6948837
Yes! Thank you god. I was waiting for someone to post more of this guys beautiful work.