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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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6529393 No.6529393 [Reply] [Original]

Touhou incident talk time!
If you were a boss in a touhou game, how would you introduce yourself/goad the player character into a fight? (Alternatively, if you're not feeling creative, just post in your favorite bits of game dialogue, as if we haven't all read it a thousand times apiece.)

Me: Where are you going in such a hurry?
Heroine: Woah, there's a guy here.
Heroine: And I thought men didn't play danmaku.
Me: Do you know what I am?
Heroine: In my way?
Me: Some people thought we were gods when we flew over them.
Heroine: Okay.
Me: The Africans thought we were going to eat them when we dragged them from their homes.
Heroine: Haha, that's-
Me: The Japanese thought we were going to eat them when we broke their country and remade it in our image.
Heroine: Wait, what? When was this?
Me: Collectively, we wear a country as a hat.
Heroine: Huh? No, go back to that last part!
Me: I'm an American, and I'm here to ruin your day.
Heroine: Could I just come back tomorrow, then?
Me: I'll ruin that day, too.

*Fight begins, cue curbstomping by the heroine*

>> No.6529410

Go back to shrinemaiden.org

>> No.6529420

You didn't do shit, faggot. You sit in front of a computer, taking credit for your ancestors.

>> No.6529438

Me: FLY AWAY NOW!
Heroine: Fly away now?
Me: FLY AWAYYYYYY
Heroine: Yeahhhaaaha yeahhaahah
*battle starts*

>> No.6529444
File: 82 KB, 560x400, heylookitsme.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6529444

>>6529420
Self-deprecating NEET.

>> No.6529464
File: 63 KB, 450x426, waffle.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6529464

>>6529444
Same as who, retard?

>> No.6533971
File: 1.11 MB, 1280x1024, 1291156540443.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6533971

PUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDY
PUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDYPUDY

>> No.6534038
File: 552 KB, 725x1000, c508610130806d465c826258e0e726a2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6534038

Me: RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE
Heroine: Oh shi-
<GAME OVER>

>>
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