/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Which 2hu would you want as your mommy?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
Ran, Eirin, Byakuren, Nemuno

[Anonymous No.]

Meiling pls

[Anonymous No.]

>>45343258
Are you sure? She would likely raise her child with strict discipline. Unlike, say , Ran, who would love and adore her offspring.

[Anonymous No.]

The one that gives me nursing handjobs

[Anonymous No.]

>>45343949
A fine choice, anon. You're a man of culture, i see.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45343825
I need it. Also i'm in love with her.

[Sharky No.]

>>45342689
As my mom - probably nobody. But as a mother of my children - nearly every adult 'hou lady

[Anonymous No.]

The one that will make me a better man by day and break my pelvis by night

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
Okay, "mommy" stuff aside, if you were reverted back to a toddler (without any memories) and had to choose one 2hu to be your mother (could be either blood or adopted), which one would it be? My pick is Kaguya, I would have amazing genetics, and live comfortably in a mansion with my Lunarian mom and aunt. Plus, hundreds of rabbit servants/onaholes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45345875
Probably Junko so she could have a chance at being a mother again.

[Anonymous No.]

Without any sexual considerations, I would definitely choose Shinki to be my mother, she has many daughters so she's definitely an experienced mother. I believe this to be the only realistic answer.

[Anonymous No.]

Yuugi or Ran

[Anonymous No.]

>>45345875
Yamame. I have a passion for spiders, and be born one and raised by one would elevate such autism to a thousand and majorly help me to research them, though I'm banking I'll be born with the same interests.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45345932
You are going to get shoved into the sun

[Anonymous No.]

Can I have Kanako?
She seems like she'd be a good mother.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45348494
All of them are autistic and she's unironically shit at taking care of them without ruining them.
If she has a son she'd dote on him and smother them with love to the extent that none of her daughters would ever hope to experience. You'd love her and she'd love you, but she'd ruin you entirely

[Anonymous No.]

>>45345875
I'd never know my father and if I get through the first year I'll live a comfy life. Albeit I'd be mentally traumatized regularly and the mind games she'd play with would ruin me forever.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45352777
anon, she'd devour you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45352797
Hence
>if I survive the first year

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>45353180
The problem with having either Ran or Yukari as a mom is that whichever one you choose, the other is going to sexually initiate you, and there's nothing you can do about it. What a terrible fate.
Kanako is objectively the best mom in this image. Don't trust Byakuren, she'd try to set you up with some youkai girl and get you eaten.

[Anonymous No.]

bold of you guys to assume that I won't try to romance my own 2hu mom

[Anonymous No.]

>>45353933
What about Yuyuko? What's that fatty gonna do, eat me?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45354185
Her dimwitted autismo of a gardener will molest you almost all the time she has free, and Yuyuko will look the other way

[Anonymous No.]

>>45354185
Daily nursing handjobs. In public.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
canon:
Kaguya
Satori

fanon:
Yuuka
Yukari
Eirin

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
Tewi

[Anonymous No.]

>>45355975
Anon, bunnies inbreed like hell! You wouldn't want to breed your mother, sisters, aunts, cousins and so on, right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45353180
Yuugi doesn't have momhu energy

[Anonymous No.]

>>45356042
Only if Ringo counted as my cousin.

Cousin Ringo who embarrasses you by sitting on your lap in front of the family... Haaa, haaa...

[Anonymous No.]

>>45356042
Perchance.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45357247
Anon, no! Incestuous relationships and inbreeding is terrible! The consequences are awful!
May every Anon here understand the plight that is fucking your relatives.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45357247
I wonder how much Eirin would charge me to slam Reisen's bunny-maker a few times.

Not keen on Tewi. Not racist or anything, I just don't like her.

[Anonymous No.]

The bird so we can have fun nuclear times

[Anonymous No.]

>>45360880
Free if you can angle it in the terms of collecting data in human x moon bnuuy reproduction. She may want to record it though

[Anonymous No.]

>>45375249
How would she persuade Reisen to do her part? Sedatives?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45375430
Reisen is a pet to Eirin, she'd just have to goad her into it lightly and Reisen would fold like a cardboard box.
Your biggest threat will be Tewi poking holes in the condom

[Anonymous No.]

>>45375462
Why would there be a condom?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45382563
She has STDs that are unknown even to Eirin.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45357247
You can't just say perchance

[Anonymous No.]

Why is mommy fetishism so common in the jay?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45352694
This is what I want.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45382730
Men who spent their youths with the only positive female interaction being older women, think teachers, relatives, etc.
The logical endpoint is wanting to have sex with your mother.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45382730
>>45383147
That plus Touhou being a great enabler/outlet for such feelings, due to its larger-than-life cast of attractive old ladies.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45353180
Taking this as a shortlist of momhus (even though several potential options are missing like Junko and Suwako that are both actually mothers in canon) and using >>45345875 's scenario if what if it was turn back the clock to toddler age and pick an actual mom then I guess:

>Yuyuko
Warm, friendly and caring but questionable if she'd actually be a good mother figure or bring a young child up very responsibility.

>Yuuka
Known to be a caring and nurturing person towards anyone weak or vulnerable. Would defend you from any potential harm with extreme prejudice. Not sure how well she'd raise you and might not be a great mom for socialising you properly which is the only downsides but she'd otherwise be a high tier option.

>Ran
Powerful, caring, known to have a very maternal nature towards Chen. Could both raise you well, give you a good education, protect you and teach you all kinds of abilities. Only downside is it's an unknown how Yukari would treat you, otherwise one of the best choices.

>Yukari
Would give you a world class education, pass on all kinds of unique and priceless knowledge and training. But also likely to be a cold if not downright harsh mother figure if how she treats Ran and Chen is anything to go off, you would likely risk being just another tool of hers or being the autistic as fuck sperg she is would be badly socialised and grow up to have an awkward relationship with her. Maybe worth if you want the long list of childhood trauma and a detached and uncaring parental relationship.

>Kanako
Powerful, likely to protect you and raise you with a firm sense of right and wrong and a good eye for business. But also maybe not the most caring or maternal mom possible here and could treat you as a subordinate later in life. Mid-tier choice at best, if she were included, Suwako would be much better.

>Eirin
Would give an almost as good education and upbringing as Yukari, if not better in some regards. Mostly raised and protected Kaguya and if that was anything to go off would probably treat you the same. Maybe not as warm or affectionate as Ran or Yuuka but likely a very good mom who would defend you relentlessly and bring you up very well. Although it would also expose you into a bunch of Lunarian politics, household drama with the rabbits and other bullshit that might be best avoided as an ordinary human. There's no knowing either how well Kaguya would receive you considering you're stuck with her too. High-tier but with downsides.

>Yuugi
If you want the true harsh, only-the-strongest-survive Spartan-like childhood growing up as a human in Former Hell it might be worth considering. But there's a good job you don't survive childhood with Yuugi as a mom. She'd care for you, look for any excuse to fight anyone even giving you a bad look but liikely wouldn't give you much of an education and would be only a few drunken mistakes away from potential death or alcohol poisoning. An option for madlads, not many other people.

>Byakuren
Great if you want to be a Buddhist monk from the cradle to the grave, not really great for much else. Would care about you greatly and be a good role model but only if you want the rest of the disciplined and monastic life that would come with having Byakuren for a mom.

[Anonymous No.]

If I choose Toyohime as a mother, do I get a bonus auntwife?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
Yakumo Ran. Hands down the best momhu in existence. No weird bullshit quirks to her personality or being an asshole like other characters. She's unthinkably sexy despite how reserved she is in how she dresses. Makes sense since kitsune are the real yokai of sex. Sorry Kasen bros. She's intelligent and wise and would give all sorts of arcane and occult as well as mathematical knowledge. And based on some of her spell cards I thinks she'd also give great physical education as well. Hard athletic and strength based training with lots of meditation. A nice healthy balance of esotericism, science and exercise. Her love would also be genuine and truly maternal. She's a mommy you can stick your dick in and out of. Tail fluff and nursing handjobs are nice too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342801
Good picks, what about Yukari?

[Anonymous No.]

Clearly the best option is koishi

[Anonymous No.]

>>45383662
You can get that without picking toyohime anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45383291
>>Yuugi
I trust her. Dismiss these silly notions that she wouldn't be able to get her shit together at least a little when it comes to raising a kid. She might be thickheaded but she knows when to get serious.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45390696
>koishi
are you out of your mind?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
Yukari definitely, so she can mommy me and I can have incest sex with my adopted sister Ran.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
Ran is the mom hu

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
All of them, but mainly Youmu

[Anonymous No.]

>>45382730
Neglect and unresolved mother issues often compound in seeking that affection you were denied in childhood.
The reverse can be true and overly affection mothers that stifle you and spoil you may cause a sort strange sexual attraction to them.
In short mommy fetishests either were suffocated by their mother figures to the point of an unhealthy attachment, or they were neglected.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45401371
Wow a dork, really? Out of all the hus you pick a stupid dork?
I know Yuyuko would be your aunt or granny, you'd get to play around with the prismrivers and other ghosthus that visit and all.
But youmu...?
Really? You have pick of the litter to be reraised by someone and out of all hus... you choose Youmu...
I just cannot comprehend that decision.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45401794
>anon tries to comprehend a good decision
>fails miserably
lmao

[Anonymous No.]

>>45404079
ew, why is that dork so fat! fatso!

[Anonymous No.]

>>45404079
I want both (will) to be and to make her cherry blossom

[Anonymous No.]

>>45404079
I want to comprehend who are you quoting.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45404597
one day you'll understand true beauty, anon
>>45404698
my mother (has white hair, wields a weird sword and is very lovely. I love her)

[Anonymous No.]

But which 2hu would you choose to be the mother of your kids?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45404788

[Anonymous No.]

>>45404788
She's cute, sweet, has good genes, and can cook. I'll wife her up any day (provided that her two mothers let me)

[Anonymous No.]

>>45404788
The 2hu all about nurturing life

[Anonymous No.]

>>45406223
great choice!

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
Tewi.
Tenshi.
Kagerou.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45357247
I can almost smell this picture.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45404788
I'll take a grump and give her a bump

[Anonymous No.]

>>45404788
its more out of morbid curiosity then anything else. just how fucked up do you think the kid is gonna end up being, once they grow up?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45422181
im referring to the gap hag btw. guess i should have specified that. we all know that Ran would make an amazing mother. she could easily raise dozens of children to be sane, productive and well-adjusted members of society.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45422181
Considering the kid will at least be a demi god in terms of power, they will probably end up being alright, might end up inheriting their mothers laziness.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45404788
Reimu! She'll teach my kids frugality, faith, and give them Hakurei bloodline powers.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45422195
She'll be fine.
After Ran forces her through several months worth of training on proper child rearing (headed by Ran).

[Anonymous No.]

>>45422195
Just like all of Yukari's chores: Ran will take care of it. And a woman does not make a kid by herself, the kid would have (You) too, would you be a good father?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45406253
me on the right

[Anonymous No.]

>>45423805
Sorry for the hair and pigmentation loss.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45406863
Do you like the smell or do you want to send it back?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45423064
>Just like all of Yukari's chores: Ran will take care of it.
Imagine Yukari cucking herself by letting Ran get impregnated over and over again and she uses her hands from her gaps to finger herself as she watches me have baby making sex with Ran. She's so lazy i could see this happening.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45423862
no worries, I'm a doctor. I'll get Anon's pigmentation back…
… there!

[Anonymous No.]

>>45427927
By that i meant he lost his green hair.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45427972
don't worry, I'm also a barber. Anon WILL have his mother's beautiful green hair back!
just look how happy she got with his recovery!

[Anonymous No.]

>>45428077
Yuuka is Freud's mother? That explains a lot actually.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
Kaguya. Putting aside retarded fanon memes she would be amazing to have as a mommy. One of the most beautiful women in the setting, excellent at conversation, refined and long lived enough to be a milf. She could have been Mokou's mother afterall. Getting the mommy treatment from her would be the best in the world. Pretty much all men would give up one of their balls and their limbs just to be in her company. Lunarian milk would taste great too. If you take it as being her child then the other anon is right, i would have perfect genetics and could get any 2hu i want,

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429077
>i would have perfect genetics and could get any 2hu i want,
Even Kaguya?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429130
Well, going by Yorihime's example, it's not too far off the table...

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429130
Specially Kaguya. She is royalty after all.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429077
Why is a lot of your reasoning for having Kaguya as a mother involve how beautiful she is and how men would fawn over her?
Boys shouldn't think of their mother as beautiful women...

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429435
Thats right. If you want kags as your mother your wife will be Eirin

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429130
Yes. Who better to marry than the one you raised from birth to be exactly the kind of man you want?
>>45429140
Yes
>>45429435
Moonies love incest.

[Anonymous No.]

Best 2hu for a nursing handjob?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429896
Marisa

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429896
can you imagine how thrilling it must be? You two keep eye contact as she jerks you with mighty speed and finesse, the metal of the bear traps glimmering with the room's light, one too much newton of force away from tearing your manhood off your body, yet Enoko continues without slowing down; playfully swinging that Damocles sword over your dick as she edges you for minutes, maybe hours, on end.
I'd pass out from the subsequent orgasm

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429435
>Boys shouldn't think of their mother as beautiful women...

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429435
Mothers should not have sex with their sons.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45430369
Indeed. Why would you want to play with the same hole you crawled out of?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
Big, sexy Yuyuko
[imagine an image of a chubby sexy Yuyuko on the left here where there should be an image]
Better yet, I'll link one!

https://cdn.donmai.us/original/b0/ae/__saigyouji_yuyuko_touhou_drawn_by_hiro_h_net__b0aeab492123d1bf39d41dc317bc4054.png

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429896
Sensual nursing handjob from Kasen while she criticizes you for being a pervert.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45430520
Kasen really has to stop enabling the things she doesn't like.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45430533
How else can she get her only disciple to stop masturbating behind closed doors with her freshly worn undergarments?
He's her responsibility, so she's chosen to take care of it herself in the most efficient way. Plus his tantric energy is captured by Kasen and put to good use this way. It's a win-win.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45430606
Why does she not kick him out?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45430699
He is very earnest in wanting to learn taoism.

[Anonymous No.]

Which 2hus are the most and least likely to cross the line with their son?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
Tewi

[Anonymous No.]

>>45430699
Oni like honest people.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45430721
>Seiga
lucky boy's 100% getting his balls drained daily
the incest babies will make for nice magical implements, after all

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429896
Should be obvious.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45432691
Buckethead ero makes the best touhou mommy stuff

[Anonymous No.]

>>45432691
Dude, he's drowning!

[Anonymous No.]

>>45432700
Dont worry, i survived.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45382730
It's not just the jay, it's everywhere on the internet

[Anonymous No.]

Thoughts?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45432812
Not my thing

[Anonymous No.]

>>45432812
I wanna hear those saggers slosh

[Anonymous No.]

>>45353180
>yuyuko
I think she's busy enough with Youmu, but she's likely to think of you less a kid and more a servant. Plus human lifespans and what not. Can't really see it happening
>yuuka
That would be... interesting I guess? Yuuka either treats her kid like free farm labour or like one of her plants, which is to say anyone that touches her kid gets their kneecaps politely removed.
>ran
Isn't Chen sort of her child anyway? Crazy cat lady with mofumofu, I guess. She looks the most likely out of them to actually be responsible enough to care for a tiny human. Which you lot probably aren't, if all the 'reborn as a youkai' threads say anything.
>yukari
Kind of a wildcard just like Yuuka, only she's a lazy oaf. She'd dump her kid onto Ran while she goes raiding the moon's liqueur stashes or something.
>kanako
An egocentric nutjob but a caring one if her and Sanae are anything to go by. She's probably second to Ran in terms of mom-ing.
>eirin
Eirin is the type of person to leave pihranna acid or some other deadly reagent around for a toddler to liquify themselves with. Or an extra dose of Hourai Elixer, in which case she's just created an undying and unaging toddler. There's this one bizzaro fanfic where she becomes Mokou's mom, but no thanks. I'd like to survive childhood without being vivisected or being the subject of random nonconsentual clinical trials.
>byakuren
About the only character that isn't at risk of casually murdering someone's kid besides Ran, unless she tries to set you up with a hungry youkai that's 'misunderstood'. Have fun becoming a monk.

[Anonymous No.]

I will fuck your mothers.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45433398
This bitch could make money out of thin air but still chooses to squander the money she is given. Gap yokai correction is needed ...

[Anonymous No.]

>>45438268
Even worse
Why would Yukari ever need money in the first place?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45432812
Made for shotas

[Anonymous No.]

>>45432812
you think she'd enjoy getting milked or be against it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429908
Sorry but you have to be over 4'11 to qualify for giving NHJ. Eirin's orders

[Anonymous No.]

>>45438307
Hats and dresses do not buy themselves. And she can not steal them because they are custom made.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45348494
best mom

[Anonymous No.]

>>45432812
please be hasty
milky warm and tasty

[Anonymous No.]

>>45433022
Who knows how many times I've seen that gif and it's the first time I noticed her eyes change.
Those things really are hypnotic...

[Anonymous No.]

>>45345875
I'd choose Eirin and blood relation. The benefits of this are immense, like being a highborn Lunarian noble by birth, getting the best education possible in Gensokyo, being on first name basis with the Lunarian crown princess and having a moon rabbit household staff of servants and security forces devoted to your safety and comfort. Plus being Eirin's child would mean that while there'd be considerable expectations for you, you'd still have more freedom than you would if you were literal royalty like Kaguya's child. Eirin even without everything that her background and genetics bring to the table would be an excellent choice. She's supernaturally intelligent, doesn't physically abuse her underlings like Yukari does and while she might prefer to maintain a certain degree of formality between you and her, especially in public, she'd still care greatly about your emotional needs and wouldn't give you the monk treatment in that regard like Byakuren might.

Also like Ran, she is a prime momsexhu.

>>45383291
>Although it would also expose you into a bunch of Lunarian politics, household drama with the rabbits and other bullshit that might be best avoided as an ordinary human.
This is why you choose blood relation so you aren't an ordinary human.
>>45352675
Junko already demonstrated what happens to those who hurt her children. I doubt anyone would want to risk sharing Houyi's fate, so she'd actually be one of the safest options.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45456838
Breasts are the best. They are hypnotic. I remember my vision being pulled towards one of my former coworkers. Her tits obviously werent nearly as big as the cow's but they were a good size and the jiggle had me transfixed. It's like boobs just take your free will away or turn your brain into mush. Now just imagine what effect Urumi might have on you if you met her ...

[Anonymous No.]

>>45458743
idk, I'm more of an ass man

[Anonymous No.]

>>45459647
I like both. The coworker i mentioned had a great ass. Her best feature by far.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45459647
DEGENERATE

[Anonymous No.]

>>45459647
Brown

[Anonymous No.]

>>45460608
I'm not.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45429973
>I'd pass out from the subsequent orgasm
Or maybe the blood loss and shock of having your dick chopped off?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45342689
Mamizou. I think she's smart enough to raise a child well, and if I absolutely had to be a youkai, I'd want to be a bake-danuki. Also I like how she talks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45464650
Admit it anon, you just want have massive balls.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45464737
I'm more interested in being able to transform. The huge nuts are just a bonus.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45462028
>or maybe
exactly, the gamble is sexy as hell

[Anonymous No.]

>>45460608
Funnily enough i recall there being stats of japs actually preferring huge asses. Some parts of europe if i mistaken but i need to find the data again. Which will be a pain in the ass.